All Comments on 'The Boat Trip Pt. 01'

Please!

It's good, you've got a good imagination and you write good dialog which is very difficult to do. But, you switch between first person and third person a lot and that's wrong and distracting. And you switch between present tense and past tense a lot and that's distracting. And, you are guilty of a lot of homonym substitutions... Great story, but you could use the Literotica editor program just for the grammar and your stories would be better.