The Choices We Make

Arriving at work that morning, my colleagues were all excited, and when I showed them the change of clothes and what I'd be wearing, the excitement increased ten-fold. I took a photo and sent it to Janet, who let me know I was definitely going to find myself fucked hard that night. I spent the day flirting and teasing the three young men, letting them know I now had permission to play away from home.

"You're serious?" James asked after I let him know we'd be going out for drinks that evening, "Your husband seriously agreed to it?"

"Don't mention him, handsome. All that matters is that, when we finish for the day, I'm getting changed and my girlfriends are heading to a nearby bar. If you just happen to show up, I might be looking for some company tonight." I stepped towards him, caressing his groin. I felt him get hard very quickly as his eyes didn't know where to look. "And if you play your cards right, handsome..." I gave his cock a gentle squeeze.

"What bar?" he asked, sounding rather self-assured. That made me smile as though I didn't want arrogance, I did appreciate confidence. He was young, handsome, and from the feel, he was packing some heat. Telling him where I would be, he smiled and told me he'd meet me there.

After lunch, one of my colleagues approached my desk. "I saw you earlier with James," she whispered, "Are you seriously going to fuck him that quickly?"

"Why not?" I asked, "My husband agreed to this so I'm not going to waste any time."

"You on Tinder?"

I sat back in my chair and laughed. "My god, within a day of posting my profile, I've had so much interest, though it's sorting the wheat from the chaff."

"Trust me, there are plenty of young men out there willing to fuck older women. Pick the young men who are handsome, built, and come packing with a big cock. And they generally have staying power. My last lover could fuck me all night and into the next morning. My husband just can't compete with that, bless him."

"How does he, you know, deal with it?"

She shrugged. "We don't really talk about it. He doesn't ask about what I do, I don't ask about him. But I know he spends most of his nights at home with the kids."

"Does it seem fair to you?"

She smiled. "Who said anything about an open relationship being fair? Simple fact is that he agreed to it, same as your husband. If they can't go out there and score some pussy, that's on them. I bet your husband had a million ideas of how much pussy he was going to get. He's probably going to learn it's not as easy as he thinks it is."

I wasn't so sure about that. I wasn't sure he'd even go out looking for another woman. He'd been quite clear that he was monogamous, which made his agreement to this rather strange. But I tried not to think about it, instead spending the rest of the day trying to focus on work but messaging Janet constantly.

As soon as the clock hit 5pm, I rushed to the bathroom to get changed. The dress I'd chosen would have been called ultra slutty. I was showing more skin than I had in years. Applied more make-up than usual. Styled my hair as best as I could. Threw on a pair of uncomfortable heels, the sort that screamed 'I'm ready and willing to fuck'. And, as a last second idea, I took off my panties. I wanted James to have full access to my pussy from the moment we met.

The very idea of him feeling me up in some pub had me dripping wet. I glanced at my phone one last time, the picture of my husband and our children, before I temporarily changed it to a generic picture, and headed downstairs.

Janet and the girls were waiting for me. Before I could barely greet them, I had a shot glass placed into my hand, followed by a glass of wine. Within half an hour, we were surrounded by a group of young men, most of them already partnered up as I was the last in the group to either be single or in an open relationship. James turned up, wearing a tight t-shirt, showing off a fit body, and a pair of jeans. His eyes lit up seeing me. Within ten minutes, we were making out, grabbing his hand and ensuring it went straight up underneath my dress. I enjoyed seeing his eyes widen in surprise as he would have felt how wet my pussy was for him.

Finding a booth, there was conversation though it was obvious the six of us girls had other things on our mind. Whenever we got up to dance, it was downright raunchy. I was surprised we weren't told to knock it off. Whenever James pressed into me, I felt how hard he was, and I knew I couldn't keep teasing the poor young man.

"I have a room booked at a hotel nearby if you want to go," I finally told him, "I'm going to be blunt, James. I'm married but I want to fool around. Want to fuck a mature, married woman?"

Asking which hotel, he practically dragged me out of the place to the cheers and hollers of my friends. He knew where the hotel was, his hands all over me as I checked us in. As soon as we made it to the room, we were all over each other. He was desperate to get me naked. I felt the same way. As soon as I had everything off, I couldn't help the smile that formed as seeing his cock.

Dropping to my knees, I knew I was about to do something I'd rarely done for my husband during the past decade. And I couldn't even tell you the last time I'd swallowed or let him cum on my face. James wasn't my husband. He was just a good-looking young man with a nice dick. It was just sex, so I could really let loose.

He was very complimentary of my fellatio skills. He'd ensured he was well groomed and smelled nice. I enjoyed having his cock in my mouth, teasing him until I knew he couldn't control himself anymore. He was polite enough to warn me when he was going to cum, but I think I blew his mind when I swallowed every drop, licking his cock clean as he gazed down at me.

"Yummy," I stated, "Now all I want is this big cock filling me."

"You don't want to..."

"Nope. I don't need it, James. I've been wet all fucking day thinking about you pounding me into the mattress tonight."

He may have been young, but I'll give him credit, he knew how to fuck. When he slid his cock inside me for the first time, I was smiling as it was the first time in nearly twenty years I had a different cock, and it was everything Janet and the others talked about. Grabbing the back of his head, I kissed him hard. "I don't want romantic. I don't want gentle. I just want you to fuck me, James."

I think he loved hearing that. And for the next few hours, that's exactly what he did. It was near midnight when I had to cry enough, my pussy dripping with copious amount of cum, and it hadn't felt so tender since the earliest days of my marriage, when Mark and I had fucked like rabbits. Thankfully, James knew the score. We showered, dressed, and I checked out of the hotel, the receptionist giving me a look as it was obvious James wasn't my husband, but I didn't care.

Arriving home an hour or so later, I didn't sneak into the house as I had no reason to feel any guilt. Finding the bedroom empty, I went looking for Mark, as I hadn't seen him on the couch. I found him in his office, rather surprised that he had a single bed set up. Gently shaking him, he woke up and met my eyes. I almost shivered at how cold and unfeeling they were.

"Go to bed, Louise," he said before he simply turned over and ignored me.

"Are you coming to bed?"

"I am in bed. I told you the rules, Louise. Think I'm going to share a bed with you after what you've done tonight?"

"Fine. Be that way then."

I heard him scoff but otherwise he didn't say a word. Returning to the bedroom, I undressed and slid into my usual bed clothes, getting into bed. I lay wide awake for a good half an hour as I missed his presence next to me, but if he wanted to pout and sleep alone, then I guess that was his problem. If it continued like this, I just wouldn't bother returning home.

For the first couple of months, I kept my 'dating' to Friday and Saturday nights. I did my best to maintain the same relationship with my husband, but I realised very quickly that he would rarely share a bed with me now. And I guess it couldn't be helped that the kids picked up on something. When I confronted Mark about it, he gave me a withering look and suggested I should explain to them what I asked of him.

"You agreed," I retorted.

"Under duress," he growled, "It was either agree or be cheated on. Either way, you were going to go out and fuck around. But the one thing I wasn't going to give you was a divorce. You were not going to take my kids from me."

"I'd never take them from you..."

"Bullshit, Louise. You've proven exactly your lack of character since you made that request. All that matters to me at the moment is ensuring our kids are unaffected by your behaviour. And, believe me, they're aware. They're not blind. They know their mother is now a worthless fucking slut. I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot fucking barge pole right now. No idea what sort of STDs you're carrying around right now."

I flinched at the bile that came out of his mouth. I knew he was upset but the hate and anger near enough took my breath away. I would have slapped him otherwise, but I had a feeling if I hit him, he'd have no problem hitting me back, and a lot harder.

Things continued to get even frostier. We were a marriage in name only in many ways. I couldn't remember the last time he hugged or kissed me. Sex? We hadn't had sex since the request I made. Whether he missed it with me or not, I never knew and never felt confident enough to ask. Did I miss it with him? I'll admit that I did. I missed making love with my husband. Missed him holding me in his arms once we'd come down from the high.

But I wasn't going to give up what I was doing yet. James was a semi-regular fuck. So was another young man in the office. And I had a new Tinder date nearly every weekend. Some fucked me within a couple of hours of meeting. Others I made work to get my pussy.

Things changed when Janet and the girls suggested regularly meeting up after work. From Friday and Saturday nights, it turned into one or two nights during the week and at least one night over the weekend. Some nights I never even made it home. Not always with a bloke, sometimes I'd sleep at Janet's or a friend's place, way too drunk to make it home safely. I started to keep clothes at work or at Janet's as it saved time going home to change then go out. I'm fairly sure that, after around six months, there were weeks when I never even made it home more than once or twice a week.

I was living my best life, but I had no idea the damage I was otherwise doing my marriage and my family.

*****

Mark - The Beginning

I'll be honest from the start. The night my wife made that request of me was the moment my love for her died. Some might question how I could so easily fall out of love with someone I'd been in love with for twenty years. Quite easily, to be honest. It's the betrayal and the disrespect. With the few words of her request, she betrayed everything our marriage stood for, trampled over the vows we'd taken, and in my mind, it was simply an excuse for her to go out and cheat on me guilt-free.

Walking outside to cool down, as I was ready to blow my top, I knew I had to just shut off my emotions and deal with the whole issue calmly and logically. She'd argued every point I raised, and it was obvious she'd been coached by her friends. I knew exactly who had been in her ear about such a thing. In addition to the anger and hurt, there was also disappointment that my wife could have fallen for it.

I knew I needed to talk to someone. There was only one person I could think of. Heading to my shed, I pulled out my phone and dialled her number.

"Hey Mark."

"Hey Emily."

She was silent for five seconds before asking, "Okay, something's wrong, Mark. We've been friends for thirty-five years, so don't think you can bullshit me."

It all came pouring out. There were no tears. Those would be for later. No, it was anger and hatred that flooded out of my mouth. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. The reason I hated my wife in those moments is because she'd just spent a good few minutes ripping my heart and crushing it in her hands. I have no real recollection of exactly what I said. I just know it wasn't pleasant.

"Are you sitting down, Mark?"

"No."

"Take a seat, Mark. I'm going to tell you what to do. It won't be the same as what I did with Adam. That was different. You'll need to play this differently. It will be difficult, but it's the only advice I can give."

"Lay it on me, Emily. What should I do? Part of me thinks I just walk away, but then I leave the kids, and if she ends up doing what she wants, fuck knows what happens to them. Add to that, I can fight for custody, but we know what it's like for a lot of men, and I won't become a part-time dad. And forget co-parenting."

"What you do is this, Mark. You stay married in name only. Shut off everything else. The romance is dead. Seal off your emotions. You are no longer a shoulder for her to cry or lean on. You are no longer the person she comes to for emotional support. And you definitely don't want to have sex with her now, do you?"

"The idea of making love to my wife after she'd been with a lover makes me want to be sick or incredibly violent. I'm nobody's sloppy seconds."

"Exactly. So you shut yourself off entirely from her except for the financial aspect. Keep the house. Keep your kids. Focus on yourself and them. Do what I did. Go to the gym. It's good for the body and soul."

"Guess I could lose a few kilos and firm up certain places."

"Exactly. Fill your time with other things. Find a hobby or two. Reconnect with some friends you may have lost touch with. And, most importantly, focus on the children. Show that you're the parent that gives a shit about them. Kids aren't stupid. They'll recognise something going on. And if she does end up doing this, I can guarantee you how it's going to do. It will start out slowly, but in the end, she'll have her head in the clouds and focus on her own wants and needs."

"Seen it before?"

"Mark, I'm going to be honest with you. She'll probably end up fucking a bunch of guys, but in the end, she's going to find herself one lover who she will most likely fall in love with. And then she'll have a decision to make. Remain with her family, which would only be in name only, depending on how far ahead this happens, or she'll walk away from you and the kids."

"Fantastic," I muttered.

"Part of me suggests you just leave now, but I understand wanting to stay in your home with the kids. So do what I said. Go grey rock."

"What's that?"

"It's used against abusive or manipulative people. It's obvious Louise is the latter. She's completely manipulated this situation to her advantage. The basics of going grey rock are that you show complete disinterest in her as a person and make any interaction with you unrewarding. Give her nothing from yourself. It'll be difficult, and you will fail at times, but do your best to hide all emotional reactions and keep anything you say short and straightforward."

"Will it work?"

"More than likely as I believe her request comes from a point of disinterest in you and your family anyway. Considering how you're now feeling, you want to have no emotional connection with her. You are now under no obligation to share anything, if that's what you want. Best idea is to keep any conversations to the topic of your children, almost as if you are split up and co-parenting." I sighed and she added quietly, "And I'm here for you, Mark. Always have been, always will be."

"Love you, Em."

"Love you too, big guy. It's difficult now. Always is when a relationship ends. I've seen a couple of other men tolerating this shit. They're both divorced now. Focus on your kids and yourself. Things will work themselves out. Will you forgive her?"

"No. We will eventually divorce. I'll wait until our youngest is eighteen, if necessary. We'll co-habit the same space but we're now nothing more than roommates."

"Good way to think of it. Just don't do anything stupid."

"I won't, but I will take the necessary steps to protect myself."

"Nothing wrong with that, Mark. Where will you sleep tonight?"

"Not in the marital bed, that's for sure."

"I'll come and see you soon, Mark. You're going to need some friends for what is about to come."

"Thanks, Em."

"One more thing, Mark. I know it might be difficult to think about, but you should take advantage. Women will love you. You're successful. You're fit and handsome. You're a wonderful father. And you are a dynamo in bed. I've had more than one drunken conversation with your wife where she's waxed lyrical about your prowess in bed. Makes me wonder why she's out fucking some strange when she had you. So go and find yourself some beautiful young women. Go out and date."

"I'm not sure..."

"Just think about it, Mark. You deserve some happiness too."

Going grey rock was difficult, and I did blow up at Louise more than once. I kicked myself afterwards each time, but in the end, she was getting exactly what she wanted, so why did she care. The first night she stayed out and obviously fucked someone else nearly killed me. Then she had the audacity to come into my office and ask me to join her in bed. I just about stopped myself from unleashing all the thoughts and feelings I had about her.

What I realised, as she walked out of my office back to what was now her bedroom, is that any residual love I might have felt for her died that night, aware she was out doing what she was doing. I'd always have some sort of love for her, as the mother of our children, but the passion I'd once felt for her was completely snuffed out. I'd hardened my heart in preparation for the inevitable.

Taking most of Emily's advice, I focused on myself and the kids. I resumed going to the gym, taking a long lunch, not wanting to go too early or late in the evening, hiring a personal trainer for the first few weeks who set up a training and diet plan. As Louise started to come home less and less, I took up cooking for the kids and realised I actually wasn't that bad in the kitchen. And it was something I could bond with my daughter over as she loved helping me making dinner most evenings.

As Louise started to disappear on the weekends, I realised I couldn't be in two places at once, my son and daughter playing their sports at roughly the same time. That's when I enlisted the help of my younger sister, and I knew I'd have to explain what was going on.

To say she tore strips off me for tolerating it wouldn't be an understatement, though I told her it wasn't tolerating, I was doing it for my kids. She relented once I'd explained everything I was doing, before she finally asked, "You should just break it off and go with Emily."

"Huh?"

She gave me a look that I was an idiot. "Honestly? She's the one you should have married." Before I could retort, she held up a hand. "Yes, yes, heard it all before, about your friendship and not wanting to ruin it. But look where it's got you? A cheating whore of a wife. You even know where she is now?"

"I'd rather not know," I muttered, "One of the rules."

"When did you last get laid?" Shrugging, she shook her head. "Not feeling in the mood?"

"I don't particularly want to talk about it."

"Mark, go out and get laid. Find a pretty young woman and rock her world for an evening."

"That's what Emily suggested." My sister laughed before I asked, "You know anyone?"

Scoffing, she then laughed at me. "Please, at least three of my friends still hold a candle for my rather handsome older brother." She squeezed my upper arm. "Gym work is paying off. Got a six pack yet?"