The Choices We Make

Taking me for dancing afterwards, I probably didn't surprise him too much by kissing him first. It made him smile as he gazed into my eyes. We danced until late in the evening until he asked if I was ready to go. He held my hand until we were in the back of a taxi, sliding over to snuggle into him, his arm wrapping around me in return.

Arriving home after midnight, he offered me a drink as I kicked off my shoes and waited for him on the lounge. We sipped at our drinks, talking quietly, before I bit the bullet, leaning over to kiss him. We managed to place our drinks down before he kissed me back, and I felt the smile form as I felt that same erection against me that I'd felt while we'd been dancing.

We ended up naked in his bedroom, and for the first time I could remember, I had a man not fuck me. He made love to me. His tongue was magnificent as he ate me out. I happily returned the favour, taking his rather thick cock in my mouth, and he was polite enough to warn me when he was close, gazing up into his eyes to let him know I was definitely going to swallow.

I almost wept as he gently slid inside me, his eyes not just full of lust for me, but already, he seemed to genuinely care about me. He kissed me softly as he made love to me, wrapping my legs around him as we coupled for what felt like hours. He cared about my orgasm, one of the few men who did except for my husband.

Cuddling into him after we'd cleaned up, his fingers caressing my skin, I had to ask, "So is this going to be relationship, Tom?"

"I'm not seeing anyone else at the moment, Louise. The only thing I will say is that we're both in open marriages. What I do know is that I like you immensely already and would love to spend a lot more time with you going forward."

"Thank you for helping me feel better."

Over breakfast on Sunday, Tom suggested one thing to me. My marriage to my husband would be difficult. He explained where I got things wrong. He and his wife didn't force the issue. They spent more time living apart so opening the marriage made sense in a way. I'd surprised my husband with the request then practically browbeat him into it. While that relationship would be difficult, he insisted I do anything I could to repair the damaged relationship with my kids.

"Our kids didn't understand at first, particularly when I moved my business out and it meant I'd only visit occasionally. However, I only did that when they were old enough. It sounds like your kids have been told about the situation, so now it's up to you to figure out how it works." He took my hand and smiled. "And do what you can to fix your relationship with Mark. He sounds like a good man."

"He's a wonderful man. Almost as wonderful as your wife."

"I love my wife and I plan on retiring with her sooner rather than later. The day I return home will be the day all this ends."

"What does she think?"

"She misses her husband. But I also know she maintains two lovers while I'm not there. When I am there, I am the focus of all her attention. I do the same when she visits me here."

"Sounds like you have it all worked out?"

"It's not without its issues, but we make sure there is no jealousy or resentment."

I spent most of the day with him before he drove me back to the bar where my car was parked. When he held me in his arms, I couldn't help sigh. Maybe I'd gone about this whole thing wrong. Casual sex is fun for a while, but emotionally, it left me with a void. Now I'd somehow found a decent, kind-hearted man who was interested in me. Hell, he'd even given me what sounded like solid advice on how this would work regarding my own marriage.

"All you can do is keep communication lines open with your husband. Just do you best regarding that," he said, "But the most important thing for now is your kids. Do what you can to repair that relationship."

"I'll try. When can I see you again?"

He caressed my cheek first, leaning down to kiss me softly. "As soon as you want. As I said, I'm not dating anyone else, not really planning on it either. What I do want is your promise you won't get jealous if I do meet someone else."

"I might find myself another semi-permanent boyfriend too!"

He laughed and I was surprised by how much I loved the sound. "Now you're thinking properly, Louise. You've had your fun and that's absolutely fine. But I think you've now realised you need a something a little more serious, maybe more permanent. Perhaps lovers who focus on the first four letters of that word."

I hugged him tightly, resting my head against his chest. "I'll call you soon," I said.

"I look forward to it, Louise."

I watched him drive away before getting into my car. Taking a deep breath, I slowly drove home, going over in my head what I should do and say to my family. On the way, I stopped off to pick up most of my things from my friends' places. Janet was intrigued and I told her I was going to stop the constant nights out during the week, that I'd had enough of the meaningless sex, that if I was going to do this, I wanted actual relationships. Janet looked ready to argue but I hugged her, letting her know she was still my best friend and I loved her.

"Good luck," she told me at the front door.

It was late afternoon when I entered the house. Taking my things upstairs, I packed away my clothes before heading out to the kitchen. I heard noise from the other end of the house, the doors to my husband's quarters... I had to stop and hold back the sob as that phrase entered my head. My husband had taken every step possible to separate our lives except the actual physical paperwork of a divorce.

Our son, Matthew, was playing on what looked like a gaming console, and the new television was enormous, attached to the wall. Our daughter, Zara, was happily studying next to her brother, oblivious to the noise of the gaming system. Looking through the windows, my husband was out on what looked like a new deck, his arm around a woman.

And it didn't look like Emily.

Clearing my throat, Matthew glanced my way and was surprised to see me. Bumping his sister, she took the headphones out of her ears, ready to yell at him, before he gestured towards me. Walking over to my children, I sat on my knees between them, taking a hand of theirs in each of mine. Before I could stop myself, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. "Please never doubt that I'm your mother and I love you," I managed to state, "I know you're aware of everything, and I'm sorry I've missed certain things. I promise I'll do better going forward."

My son had always been closer to me than my daughter. When his lower lip started to tremble, I turned to hug him tightly. "I don't understand, Mum," he finally said, "Why are you gone all the time?"

That shattered my heart. And part of me knew I should have stopped everything then and there. "I'm sorry, baby. I don't mean to be."

"I miss you, that's all."

"I'll try and do better going forward."

"Are you really... Are you really with other men?"

"Let's not talk about that, Matthew. That's for your father and I to worry about." Pulling back, I kissed each of his cheeks before ruffling his hair. "I know I have work to do with you, Matthew. I promise I'll try and see every home game next season if I can."

"I can send you a calendar of our fixtures when they come out."

Turning to my daughter, she didn't look anywhere near as convinced. She was older than her brother, more set in her ways and ideas about life, and she'd always been the apple of my husband's eye. "You've broken Daddy's hearts, Mum," she stated not too kindly, "What kind of wife..."

"You're too young to understand."

She stood up, the books on her lap falling to the floor, as she glared at me. "I'm not too young to understand, mother," she shouted, disdain dripping from her tone, "I'm sixteen, nearly seventeen years old. You think I don't read shit on the internet and in magazines?"

"What happens in the marriage of your father and I is between the two of us."

"But your behaviour and decisions are affecting me. And my daddy!!!"

Then she burst into tears and ran off. Sighing and sagging, I didn't even hear Mark come in until I felt his presence looming over me. Gazing up into his eyes, there was the coldness I'd come to expect. "Are you staying for dinner, Louise?"

Nodding, I managed to reply. "I'll try and be here more often, Mark."

"Is this your wife, Mark?" a kindly voice asked, turning further to see an utterly gorgeous woman walking towards him. And what pissed me off immediately is that she must have been twenty-five at most. When she smiled at me, trying to appear innocent, I nearly stood up to choke the bitch. "I'm Cindy."

"What about no visitors, Mark?"

"She's here for the afternoon to keep me company and will be going home after dinner. Not that you have any right to tell me what to do, Louise. We're in an open relationship, remember? I'm just exercising my rights as a free man to enjoy the company of many beautiful women."

I had no retort to that. But I'll admit to being annoyed and rather jealous as I watched my husband and daughter make dinner together. Cindy nursed a glass of wine, watching with a smile on her face, and I could read her eyes as she watched my husband. As for my daughter, she'd always been close to her father, but there was a sense that they'd become even closer over the past few months.

But he was kind enough to make sure I had a seat at the table, though I was sat at the other end to him, sitting me closest to my son, who though still obviously upset with me, at least engaged me in conversation. Mark didn't say a word to me, keeping conversation flowing with Cindy and Zara. My presence was simply ignored.

He hadn't lied though. Within an hour of finishing dinner and clearing up, he was walking Cindy outside to her car. I had to look out the window as the pair shared one hell of a kiss, and the way her hand caressed his cheek, the look in her eyes... He waved and waited until her car had obviously disappeared before he walked back through the front door.

"Mark," I said softly. He stopped and looked at me. No anger this time. Nor the coldness I had come to expect. He didn't smile but I could sense my husband was happy. "Can we talk, Mark?"

He sighed and ran a hand down his face. "About what, Louise?" he finally asked in reply, hearing a weariness in his tone that I did expect.

"About us, Mark. I'm still your wife. You're still my husband. I still love you. I never wanted any of this to happen."

I thought he was going to explode in rage again as I noticed his fists tighten more than once. He finally stepped over to one of the armchairs and sat down. "You wanted an open relationship, Louise. I accepted your demands. You accepted my requests."

"When did we last even sleep in the same bed?"

"Not sharing my bed with my wife after she'd been out with other men. Not having sex with her either. Remember what I said. No emotional support. No physical support. No love and affection. You want all that, find someone else. This is what you wanted, Louise. I never wanted my wife to leave to go out and be with others. I was happily married. Now I'm married in name only, as far as I'm concerned."

"Who was she?" I had to ask, "You brought another woman into our home."

"Never fucked her here though," he stated bluntly, "As for who she is, none of your business. I don't care who you're with. Who I'm with is not your concern." He stood up and looked at me, almost with pity in his eyes. "Everything that's happened is the consequence of your decisions, Louise. I warned you what was going to happen. There's plenty of idioms I can think of regarding all this. Perhaps one should be 'Be careful what you wish for.' You got what you wanted from me, but you didn't give a damn how it was going to affect everyone in our family."

I was watching television in the living room when my son appeared in the doorway. He looked a little unsure before I patted the empty space next to me. I couldn't help smiling at how tall he already was, turning to lean against him when he was finally sat down. "Miss your mother?"

"Yeah..."

I knew I wouldn't be sleeping with my husband that night. Matthew headed off to bed at a reasonable time. Turning off the lights elsewhere around the house, I walked to the double doors that led towards Mark's part of the house. One of the doors was closed, the other left ajar. He was on the couch with our daughter curled against him, his arm around her, and I watched her body shake as it was obvious that she was crying.

And I knew I was the reason why. If I walked in, I knew it would get ugly and words would fly that couldn't be taken back. With a sigh, I quietly closed the door and headed towards my bedroom. No point calling it our bedroom any longer. I wasn't sure if my husband would ever return to it.

*****

Mark

"Oh fuck yes," Jessica cried out as she bounced on my cock, leaning down to kiss me, "Oh my god, Mark. You're breaking my pussy here!"

"You're the one riding me, Jess. You can always stop."

"I can't because it's just too damned good!"

I'd taken Emily's advice to heart and figured that if my wife can go out and have some fun, there was nothing stopping me from doing the same. And what I realised very quickly is that there are a lot of young women out there who would be interested in a forty-year-old man, successful in his business, owned his own house and car, raised a couple of good kids, and I like to think I was somewhat handsome.

Friends and colleagues were rather quick to set me up with girls and women they knew. I didn't want to date anyone too young. Cindy was twenty-five and such a sweetheart, I couldn't say no. Charlotte was twenty-eight, high-flying career minded woman that craved love and companionship, though only on her terms and time. Melissa was in her early thirties, a lawyer from a company we regularly did business with, and she was an absolute dynamo in the sack, doing things for me that my wife had long stopped doing or had never done for me.

And there was Jessica. Don't shoot me, but she's only twenty-one though she is the daughter of a female colleague. Both were aware of my situation, Jessica had been left heartbroken by a couple of rather shitty boyfriends, so after explaining the situation, Jessica was quite happy to be one of my girlfriends. "I do have a thing for rather handsome older men," she told me during our first date.

"Um... You're not going to call me 'Daddy', are you?"

"Well, my father is a handsome man too, but no, I'm not attracted to him that way." She leaned forward. "Unless you want me to call you 'Daddy' later," she whispered in an incredibly sultry tone, I nearly choked on my drink.

"Oh fuck!" she cried out as another orgasm hit her, "Mark, you need to cum in me."

Rolling her over, she spread her legs wide as I kissed her softly, eyes lighting up with pleasure as I buried my cock with each thrust. I could feel my orgasm approaching. We'd made love enough times to recognise the signs, hearing her beg me to fill up her pussy and her womb. She was on birth control and fanatical about it. She insisted she didn't want babies for another decade, at least.

Lying back later after we'd cleaned up, she cuddled into my side, her fingers caressing my chest. "Mark, can I be honest about one thing?"

"Sure."

"Your wife is a fucking idiot."

"You're not my only girlfriend to say that. The only thing that amazes me is that this is somehow working. I don't mean with my wife, I mean between me, you and the others."

"Oh, I get jealous when I know you're out with someone else. But I entered this arrangement with eyes wide open, aware it wasn't permanent, but that I would spend time with a man who would make me feel special every time we're together. Add to that, we all know about Emily and her timeframe. I've been told she's extended it."

"Yeah, she says I now have a year to have fun."

"Ever thought she's terrified of actually making the leap to being with you permanently?"

"All the time. Thing is, we love each other dearly. Have done nearly all our lives. But our love has always been platonic."

"So what you're saying is that you really need to take her to bed, make love to her like no-one else before, so she understands that, deep down in both your hearts, you should be together."

"How is one so young yet so wise?"

She playfully slapped my shoulder. "All your girlfriends talk, which is a good idea. And we all absolutely love Emily. She's far too adorable and understanding. We all agree you belong with each other." Sighing, Jessica cuddled me tighter. "Don't feel guilty because it's not only up to you, Mark. Sometimes, a woman simply has to make it known that she wants you more than anything else in the world."

Waking in the morning, we dressed and headed downstairs to the lobby for breakfast, returning to our room to pack our bags before I drove us home. Dropping her off at her house, I got out and walked her to the door, sharing one long, lingering kiss before she headed inside, turning back with a dreamy smile on her face.

I knew I'd hear all about it at work the next day.

Arriving home a little later after stopping at the shops, Matthew was in his usual position in front of my television, hearing him shout into the speaker of the headset he was wearing. Zara was at the table, busy with her studies as always. Kissing the top of her head, she turned it so I could leave a kiss on her cheek. "Were you two okay the past two nights?"

"I'm sixteen, Dad. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"And your brother?"

"He hasn't been too annoying, if that's what you're asking."

"Any sign of your mother?"

"Not since Wednesday night."

"Fair enough. What do you want for dinner?"

The three of us enjoyed dinner though Matthew sat down, wolfed his meal own, before returning to his game. Zara looked at me with a smirk, shaking her head, as we cleared up the kitchen together. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, I headed outside to the deck to enjoy the last rays of sunshine. Zara walked outside to join me, eventually perching herself on my lap.

"Dad, are you happy?"

"Hmmm... Depends on how you define it and to what I'd be happy about. Am I happy with you?" I tickled her, making her squirm and squeal for a few seconds. "Yes, I am. I love my children and would do anything for them, as I'm sure you're aware of. Am I happy with my current situation? Honestly, no. I feel like I'm treading water here. Am I happy with my personal life regarding anything except your mother? I won't lie, yes, I'm quite content for the time being."

"I think Mum has a boyfriend, as in someone she's now with regularly."

"Good for her."

"You really don't care, don't you?"

"I don't, sweetheart. We now live completely separate lives. The only things that now bind us are you two kids, some of our finances, this house, and a piece of paper that states we're husband and wife." Sighing to myself, I added, "You two were never meant to be involved in this. That was my intention anyway, but I figured your mother disappearing more often was always going to be noticed, and I wasn't going to lie on her behalf. Thing is, I did my best to refrain from doing the same thing, but after a while, it seemed like she was going out of her way to flaunt it, almost suggesting she could go out and do it, but I couldn't."

"I think you've met some beautiful women, Dad."

"I have. I have four lovely women that I can spend time with. They're all aware I'm married but it's open. They're all aware that it won't be permanent. They're all aware that I don't intend to fall in love and leave my marriage for one of them."

"Because of Emily," Zara whispered, "Daddy, are you in love with her?"