All Comments on 'The Christmas Party Lush'

-They Don't play baseball in March.

-Americans don't often use the term "teatotal"... or if they do, they're of an earlier generation.

Also..."...coming out with me next week..."

Americans don't day that.

They would say "Would you like to GO OUT...".

If you're English and don't know America (or Canada) why set your stories there?

Also, the basic premise of your story is flawed...A woman would really cultivate the reputation for being the office drunk just to avoid unwanted suitors?

Maybe in a government job (or a diversity hire) where you can't be fired, but people generally want to come across as fairly responsible at their workplace

But the biggest problem is you change the narration halfway through the first page.

It starts of as the male, switches to Chantelle, then back to the male.

Or did I miss something?

Huh?

There is also a section of third person perspective there.

I think you need either an editor or do a more careful review.

Good story! The other commenter made some valid points. Actually, college baseball, especially in the South, starts in February and March, with many Northern school heading south to play.

4

Yes, I agree that the premise here was flawed, and I noticed the strange change of point-of-view, twice. Those points non withstanding, I did enjoy the story. The characters are likable and interesting.

Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

This was a _very_ difficult read.

There were multiple inconsistencies throughout the story, and not just the PoV changes as other commenters have pointed out.