The Connection

Clarissa laughed. It was the first time she laughed all week. She was getting the closure she needed, even if the truth was hurtful.

"So now you know. I couldn't...I wouldn't do for you what you did for me. Just not in my nature to be like that. And since it's obvious you want to be like me; if just a little, I suggest you find someone who is willing to treat you like you treated me. I swear it's heavenly, and you'll be surprised at how wonderful it feels."

Beth was right. Clarissa did yearn for someone to treat her as she treated others in past relationships. She did so much for everyone she cared about, and honestly asked for nothing in return. Now she wanted to be treated special, like she was the only woman in the world. She wanted someone to spoil her, pamper her, love her, make love to her. All while remaining humble and willing to return such affection.

"But then again," Beth's tone changed, sipping the cold brew from her mug "you being you, chances are you won't find that special someone. She's most likely not out there for you. There's really no one for you to connect with out there. It was even a struggle for me most of the time."

Those words sparked a nuclear fury in Clarissa's heart. Like she never stood a chance at finding someone to love her. She admitted to herself that she was unique. That the things she cared about or felt enthusiastic toward wasn't appreciated among many. Especially women. And if her own exgirlfriend could barely tolerate her unless she was fucking her, then what chance did she have at finding someone to love her.

Still, she couldn't let her ex have the satisfaction of having the last words. Beth may have been right about Clarissa's desire to be treated like her. But she was certainly wrong about her perception of herself. Beth was indeed a bad person. Clarissa got up from her seat, leaned in close to her ex's ear and said the very last words she'd ever share with her.

"You're wrong about yourself. You are a toxic person if you can't return the love you receive. In fact, you're pathetic. So badly pathetic that I wouldn't squat over your face and piss in your mouth if your throat was on fire."

The insult had the desired effect. Beth sat there, stunned at the obscene words used against her. Nobody ever spoken to her like that. Clarissa wasn't finished, she wanted to push it just a little further before never speaking to this woman again. Halfway out the bar, she turned and spoke as loudly and clearly as possible so everyone could hear her.

"By the way, I faked nearly all of my orgasms with you."

It was a completely random comment, but worked well enough to make her exgirlfriend's skin change four different shades of color, each linked to being utterly embarrassed. Clarissa smiled and exited the bar. She gained the closure she needed and was relieved she'd never have to speak with that woman again.

The evening approached as did the powerful storm as she returned home. Her heart skipped when she saw a black and white colored dog running around in the grassy area. She slammed on the breaks, thinking it was Loco. But it wasn't. Just another playful dog belonging to a tenant somewhere else in the community. A part of her really wanted it to be him. There was no denying it. She missed Dallas.

Just as she parked in front of her apartment, the rain came pouring down. It was so thick and heavy it reminded her of being in a car wash. Bright lightning and explosive thunder followed. Weather like this never really bothered her, but for some reason the current conditions had her rattled. She needed to get inside and quick.

She opened the door but a horrific gust of wind made it slam against her while getting out. The air was knocked from her lungs and she fell back into the driver seat. She shook it off and tried again. The wind was relentless and tried to harm her for a second time. Clarissa was ready and was able to save herself the agonizing pain of having her fingers smashed by the door. The rain sprayed hard onto her. Soaking her all the way through. She sprinted for her door, almost slipping on the concrete pathway leading to it. Reaching her goal, she stuffed her hand into her pocket only to discover it was empty. She checked her other pockets, all were empty. Clarissa didn't have her keys or phone.

The young woman went back towards her car, walking slowly and getting drenched while hoping to spot her keys somewhere on the ground. They weren't. She reached her car and noticed her keys and cell phone were in the driver-side floor board. Obviously dropped there when she took the harsh hit by the door and wind. She tried opening the door but it was locked. She tried the others and they were locked as well.

There was the slightest amount of hope left and Clarissa rushed to her utility van. The odds were against her but there was a chance she might have left it unlocked by accident. A side effect of having one of the absolute worst weeks in her life. If it was unlocked, she had all the tools needed to get into her own car and retrieve her belongings. The hopefulness instantly depleted when none of her doors opened. They too were locked and probably for the better. The sum total of her work equipment was worth more than she had in her bank account.

Clarissa had to think and fast. Nobody worked in the front office on weekends. And maintenance was never reliable even during the week. The situation seemed grim and kept getting worse. She had nobody to turn to. No one to call. Didn't know anyone in the community, not even her nearest neighbors. The last several days at work were awful. And above all else her exgirlfriend hurt her for the second time, exposing the possibility she'd never find anyone for her to love. Everything overwhelmed her at once and Clarissa began to cry harder than she ever had in her life. Her knees weakened and she sat on a nearby curb, paralyzed from everything attacking her in one blast. And for a brief moment she didn't care what happened to her anymore.

She could have drowned in the rain and nobody would have mourned her. She could have been struck by lightning and became another one-million-to-one statistic. The strong winds could have carried her petite body off the ground and slammed her into something hard. And even if she survived being out in the storm, she could have gotten pneumonia and nobody would have been there to help her recover. She just didn't care anymore.

An approaching noise got her attention. She turned just in time to dodge a soaken wet tennis ball flying at her head. It splashed when it landed and continued to bounce and splash as the gusts carried it down the parking lot. Clarissa smirked, instantly thinking of Loco chasing after the ball. And Dallas would be close behind calling out to his pet as she ignored his commands.

Clarissa's eyes popped open. That was the answer. That was the answer all along. Not only to her current issues with the weather and the car. But for her life as a whole. Beth was right. Clarissa did want someone to give as much of themselves to her as she did for her exgirlfriend. And in the last two months there was always a constant person in her life. Someone who was always there, treating her like she was their waking thought at the start of each day. She felt the same about them as well. They were connected. They both knew it. And she finally realized she wanted them as much as they wanted her. There was only one clear decision. She wanted to be with Dallas. Clarissa got up from the curb and started running.

The storm raged against her. The wind pushed against her petite body, forcing her off balance. The deluge was absorbed into her clothes, weighing her down. Every step caused her well-worn shoes to hydroplane on her path. Heartless drivers created tsunamis which splashed her if they drove through puddles near the sidewalk. A few times she slipped and fell onto the ground. The impacts hurt and soiled her clothes as well her beautiful face. Tears flowed from her soul and out her eyes. And yet she continued onward. Her heart refused to let her quit.

Each second felt like a minute. Each minute felt like an hour. It was a short distance between her home and his. But her emotional state and the churning storm made it feel like they were cities apart. Yet she never tired. She continued to run. She ran while her thighs and calves yearned to explode. She ran while battery acid pumped through her veins. The world around her was deafened by the thudding of her heart and heavy breathing of her lungs. That and the explosive thunder from the clouds above. And finally, she reached her destination.

The outside of the house was the same as it was when Dallas gave her quick tour. Yet there was a different aura to it. It was no longer a work in progress. It was now a home. His home. For a moment she worried if he would turn her away. He said she was always welcome to come over. But that was before their argument. Insecurity started to overwhelm her. She almost turned away until she saw the wall light near the front door come on. This was followed by the door opening, and a familiar four-legged friend timidly stepped out into rain.

Clarissa froze, hiding near a tree to remain out of sight. The dog quickly sniffed out the wet terrain and found a place to do her quick business. Then moved like lightning back to the front door and stepped inside. The wall light shut off and the sound of thunder reminded Clarissa to keep moving. She had come so far; she knew she had to see it to the finish.

She moved out from under the tree and rushed towards the house. The downpour assaulted her some more, but failed to wash away the mud and stains on her face and clothes. The soggy ground nearly pulled the shoes from her feet as she ran for the house. She pressed forward and reached the door, desperately banging her fist against it.

Footsteps approached from the other side. A light in the window close to the door turned on. The deadbolt popped while unlocking, causing Clarissa's to jump in surprise. The door opened slowly but the man on the other side came into full view. His body was outlined like a spotlight was shining behind him. But she knew his features. Without hesitation; or permission, she jumped through the door and threw her arms around him.

"What are you doing here?" his tone somewhere between concern and confusion.

Clarissa didn't answer. She simply squeezed him a little tighter. Afraid he would send her back out into the rain if she let go. Dallas moved his arms causing Clarissa to hope he would return the embrace. Instead, he took hold of her arms and gently forced her to let go of him. He moved past her and glanced out the doorway. Then returned his gaze to her.

He examined her. Taking in the condition of her clothes as well as the mud and grit still on her face and in her hair. Clarissa wondered if he could tell she was still crying, or if the drying rain on her skin masked the tears near her eyes. He must have noticed. The genuine look he always gave her was showing.

"Are you okay? Where's your car?"

Clarissa started to shake. The chilled air within Dallas's home was making her cold. And the questions were making her even more emotional, something she wasn't used to dealing with. Dallas peered outside one last time, taking stock of the storm and finally closed the door behind him. He approached her slowly and wrapped his arms around her. Clarissa eagerly accepted his warmth and immediately burst into tears. Her knees weakened but Dallas held onto her to keep her from crumbling to the floor. So, she remained upright, crying in his embrace until there were no more tears at all.

"Wait here," he told her and went down the hallway towards the bedroom.

As she waited, Loco approached with her never ending energy and enthusiasm. The loving dog sniffed Clarissa's hand before giving it a few licks. The young woman knew what Loco was wanting and gently scratched the dog's head. Dallas's pet was happy to receive the attention. Her tail wagging enthusiastically was more than enough proof.

While she pet Loco, Clarissa took stock of the house she was in. She saw the inside of it prior to Dallas living within. At the time it was filled with boxes and missing furniture. Now things were unpacked and better organized than she anticipated. The man had been busy.

"Come with me." Dallas spoke, returning with his arm stretched out and palm facing upwards.

Clarissa realized he wanted her to take his hand. She remembered telling him she was never one for holding hands or any truly open displays of affection. And yet, this time she fought against her nature and allowed her tiny hand to slide into his palm. His fingers curled and his grip was gentle against her skin. Then he started to guide her from where he came.

They moved together in his home. Dallas leading. Clarissa following. He led her towards the master bedroom. It was rather basic looking, but decently put together. Clarissa even noticed his bed, which wasn't there during her first visit. It looked comfortable and new it would be easy to fall asleep if rested upon.

The pair reached the master bathroom. The garden tub still looked unused, but the shampoo bottle and soap bar in the shower confirmed its repeated use. Other items were spread out on the sink as well. Also resting on the sink were a towel and cloth, sweat pants, a t-shirt, a sweat shirt, boxer briefs and two socks. There was a large bag in the floor too. Clarissa took stock of the clothing and then returned her gaze to Dallas, curious the purpose of the items she noticed.

"The shower in the guest bathroom isn't ready yet for visitors, so you can use mine to clean up. And those are clean clothes for you to wear when you finish. Your clothes..."

"Will go in the large bag in the floor." Clarissa smiled, cutting him off.

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

She reached her arms around his body and hugged him tightly. He held her as well. It was a comforting feeling. That everything was going to be alright in her recently discombobulated world. They stayed that way for a moment before releasing each other. Then Dallas stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him to give Clarissa privacy.

She had to hold her breath to stop herself from crying again and forced herself to focus on what to do next. She was filthy and needed to get cleaned. To do so, she had two options: glass-door shower, or garden tub. A smile came to her, thinking about the first time she entered his home and saw the large tub. She remembered joking about borrowing the tub just to soak and relax. He gave her permission to do so, but figured Dallas was merely joking alongside her. Clarissa eventually decided to use the shower instead, not wanting to send the young man's first water bill skyrocketing.

Clarissa undressed with some difficulty. Her clothes were still wet and stuck to her body like the inside of a scuba suit. It took some exhausted muscle, but she soon was stripped of her filthy clothes. As instructed, she placed everything in the bag left out for her. All that was left was to turn on the shower and step inside.

Heat swiftly blasted from the showerhead. She adjusted it to her liking and stepped in. Aside from the sliding glass door, the rest of the shower was colored like a white void. But the filth being cleansed from her body and out of her hair temporarily changed that color. A small amount of remorse came to mind. Clarissa never believed she'd be in this type of situation in her life, and now here she was: in the home of a guy she was too afraid to admit loving, briefly dirtying his bathroom with his permission at the end of possibly one of the worst days she ever experienced. She had no clue how the night was going to end, but she hoped it would end better than how the day started.

Clarissa took her time cleaning herself. A nice hot shower was always soothing to her at the end of a long day of work. But those were often very quick. This was different. This was needed on an entirely different level and she wanted to relax and enjoy herself in the moment as much as possible. For all she knew, Dallas intended to drive her home after she finished getting cleaned up, and would reclaim his clothes at a later time.

Enough time passed and the hot water started to go cold. Clarissa was already clean beforehand but stayed in the water, allowing herself to prune. The longer she stayed, the longer it took for her to be sent home. She wanted to stay the rest of the night; certainly through the storm, but didn't know how to say so. Shutting the water off, Clarissa dried herself with the towel and moved onto dressing herself in the clothes Dallas left for her. The scent on them led her to believe they were recently washed, and were certainly comfy as she got dressed. When finished she retrieved her bag and returned towards the living room.

Dallas and Loco were on the couch watching television. Loco heard her coming and immediately rushed towards her. The loving pup stood on her hind legs and pawed at Clarissa's stomach, begging to be petted. She smiled and granted the dog's wish. Dallas didn't move until he noticed the bag in Clarissa's hand. As he got off the couch, Clarissa could feel all the color in her face drain. Worried he was about to remove her from his home now that she was clean. He approached and gently took the bag full of clothes from her hand. From there he made his way to another part of the house with Clarissa following behind.

In an area behind the kitchen was the laundry room. In the floor; next to the washing machine, was a basket almost full of worn clothes. Clarissa watched as he prepared for a load of laundry, her clothes about to go in as well.

"Oh no, you don't have to do that."

"I'm not letting you leave here with dirty clothes. Besides taking care of this will keep us up to watch what the storm is doing. Hopefully it will fully pass by the time the clothes are dried."

Clarissa sighed in relief. He wasn't going to send her home immediately. And this would give them a little time together to talk and finally get things straightened out between them. While the clothes begin to be cleaned, the two returned to the living room and sat on the couch. She believed it was comfy when she originally saw it, but was certain of it after finally getting a chance to relax.

"Now that you're calm, I want you to tell me everything that's happened and why you showed up at my place tonight."

His tone wasn't commanding or heartless. It was of real concern. She knew since the first day they met he was interested in her. The argument they had a week ago proved he cared for her. Here and now, she could tell he still truly cared about her, if not loved her the same way she loved him. She felt herself wanting to cry again but summoned the strength not to and started talking.

Clarissa opened up like a fountain full of words and held nothing back. She discussed work getting the better of her. Losing sleep. And lastly the traumatic conversation with her former lover. By the time she was finished, her eyes started to water up again. She'd cried enough and didn't want to anymore. She pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her head down so Dallas couldn't see her.

Clarissa noticed a slight shifting of weight on the couch with Dallas moving closer to her. Soon she felt the very gentle touch of his hand on her back. Being touched in such a way was so alien to her, uncomfortable during attempts in the past. Yet for the very first time, receiving such physical contact felt relieving. Comforting. Something she could quickly get used to. Then she felt his hands take hold of her ankles and gently pulled, straightening her legs and revealing her face. The pulling didn't stop until she realized most of her body was laying across the couch with her socked feet placed on top of his lap, a couch pillow between her heels and his legs.