All Comments on 'The Corner Office Ch. 08'

by tom6432

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AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

You certainly are chock-o-block full of fetishes. I haven't read the previous chapters but gave this a whirl because why not? I ended up skimming not truly reading, not because of the humiliation and fetishes, but because of the stiffness of the writing style. It hurts the presentation of your ideas. Try reading it aloud as if telling the story to another and see if you understand what I mean. A prime example is the early paragraph describing the new hire. Perhaps it is supposed to sound like he's reading dry facts from a resume. It is simple akward. The dialogue is too unnatural. Again, perhaps it's intentional to reinforce the respective roles and nature of the workplace. It is too forced and thus distracting. The plot has merit. The execution needs to lighten up to flow better.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
GOOD WORK

Tom I love your work whatever you and it's good to see after so many days. I request for more of ear pulling /twisting in next part.

Feel free to contact me on kaanmarod@gmail.com

Anonymous
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