The Dark Awakening

"Fine. How are you?" A monotone, disconnected answer. I had no choice but to press the matter. We couldn't wait any longer to notify the police. In truth, we probably had already waited longer that we should have.

"Listen Beth. We can take all the time you need to work out what happened last night but I have to notify the police. We have to at least report the car stolen. I am personally ok with reporting it as a home invasion, stolen car event and nothing else. Whether we report anything else it up to you."

Beth sat silent for a long time. She still hadn't looked me directly in the eyes. She simply said, "I think that would be best." A tear trickled down her cheek as she rinsed her cup and went upstairs.

I remembered that Bull had said he would put our phones in the mail box. I retrieved them and called the police station. Luckily the officer who came to file the report was very understanding. I explained that when I answered a late-night knock on the door, I was sucker-punched, accounting for the bruise on my face. I told him two men forced me and my wife, at knife point, to give them money and a vehicle. I told the officer I gave them about $300.00 and the keys to my car. I provided make, model, and license plate number.

I asked if it was necessary to speak with my wife, explaining that she was very traumatized. Which was true but not for the reason the officer assumed. He accepted that and said it wouldn't be necessary to speak to her. The station had already received a report concerning the escape so they already had information on the two men. He wrapped up his report and thanked me, telling me we were very fortunate to not have been harmed, since both of the men were serial rapists with a long history of violence.

Ok, one problem solved, now for the real problem. I found Beth lying on the bed, awake, staring at the ceiling. "Ok, the police are gone. They were satisfied with the story. "Was that ok with you?"

"Yeah, that's ok."

I was at a lost. I completely understand, I think, but still needed to break thru somehow. I had an idea. "Hey baby, why don't we take a few days and go to the lake house? You can get Karen to cover the shop and I can take some vacation days." Karen was her close friend that worked for her at the antique shop. We have a little cabin a few hours away that is our getaway spot. Private and serene, it's a good place to get away from the rat race.

Still the stoic look as she continued to avoid eye contact. "Ok, that's fine if you want to."

I somehow managed to get her up and dressed. There was no need to pack, we kept clothes and provisions at the cabin. I called our daughter and gave her the police version of last night. She was understandably worried and asked if we needed her to come home. I assured her there was no need. I didn't think Beth could handle that added pressure right now. I told Kayla we would be at the cabin for a few days and would let her know when we were back home. I called Karen to let her know we would be gone for a few days and asked her to look after the shop for a few days. Luckily, she didn't ask any questions and agreed to take care of the shop

I secured the house and headed out. It's a nice drive thru the mountains that I always enjoy. Any other time, Beth did, also. Today we could have been on another planet for all she knew. I grabbed us a burger at a drive thru close to the cabin. Once we got to the cabin, Beth nibbled at the burger aimlessly. It took a while but I think she ate enough to stay alive. When she finished, she went out and sat on the back porch that over-looked the lake. It was mid-afternoon.

I tinkered around the cabin, pretending to be busy giving Beth some space. I was worried about her physical well-being. She had been handled pretty rough, inside and out. I'm certain there was soreness that would linger. But I was more worried about her mental well-being. It was not like Beth to keep it all in. We had always been very open and honest with each other. Never afraid to say what we think or feel. That applied to everyday life as well as sex.

I changed light bulbs. I cleaned the storage shed. I trimmed bushes that didn't need it. By dark, I had exhausted all my made-up tasks. I went in and showered. When I came out of the shower, Beth was in bed with the covers pulled over her. I kissed her on the side of the face, took a blanket and pillow, and went back into the den. The couch would be my bed for tonight.

I got up the next morning and went for a quick walk. When I came back into the house, Beth was sitting on the end of the couch. Actually, looking at me for the first time, she said, "We need to talk." It seemed like a weight had just been lifted from my shoulders. Just the fact that she said it, was a relief. I sat down on the opposite end of the couch from where she sat.

She instantly scooted over next to me and, leaning in, wrapped her arms around me. My heart was happy. I held her tight as she buried her face in my chest and wept quietly. I held her silently. Finally lifting her tear-stained face she looked me in the eyes. "Jim, I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? I know I don't deserve it but please say you can." And, the damn broke. Her body shook from the depth of the weeping. I remained silent and held her some more. Finally, it slowed.

I put a finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at me. "Beth. Sweet Beth, there is nothing to forgive you for. You were raped. You were tied to our bed and repeatedly raped. There was nothing you could do. My heart aches because there was nothing I could do either. Don't you understand? Neither of us could prevent it."

"But Jim, I lost control. Bull said I would but I didn't believe him. I thought I was stronger than that. But I wasn't, Jim. I wasn't. I don't know what happened to me, Jim. I begged them, Jim. I begged them to fuck me. I begged both of them over and over. And in the end, I wanted it, baby. I don't know what happened to me but I wanted them to fuck me. Even as they were leaving, I begged Bull to fuck me again. I lost control, Jim. Oh, dear god, I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it. I lost control..." she wailed. And, another flood. Again, I held her tight and waited.

"Beth. Please Beth, look at me." After a long moment she raised her head back up. Resting it on my shoulder, she looked. "Beth, you have always been a very sensual, sexual woman. And I love that about you. Your body loves to be loved. You can't control that. You didn't give in to those men. You gave in to your body. Just as you have with me hundreds of times. I love you, Beth. Nothing could ever happen to change that. I knew early on that your body would respond. That's what happens when you are sexually stimulated, regardless of the situation. It's a natural bodily function."

"And besides, if anyone should be ashamed and apologizing, then it certainly should be me. I failed you, Beth. Not only could I not do anything to stop what was happening to you, I became excited watching it. I'm so ashamed Beth to admit that at some point, my body reacted, also. That was so wrong. No man should get a hard-on watching his wife being raped. I came all over myself, Beth. Did you see that? No one touched me and I had an orgasm. A strong orgasm." It's so wrong. So disgusting and so wrong. And I'm so sorry

"And as if that wasn't bad enough, I sucked a man's cock, honey. No, I sucked two men cocks. It's not right for a man to suck another man's cock. I have been taught that my entire life, yet I did it, Beth. I sucked another man's cock. And you know what, Beth. I'm embarrassed at this point to admit it to you, but, in the end, I enjoyed it. That's right. At first, I thought I would be appalled but I wasn't. I know you will hate me for saying this, but I enjoyed sucking that black cock. Look Beth, look at this. I'm getting a hard-on just thinking about it. I'm the one that's fucked up, Beth. Not you. It's me. Please forgive me." I truly was embarrassed and ashamed. Even more than I thought I would be.

I tried to pull away and stand, certain that after that confession, my wife would certainly not want to be near me. But she wouldn't let go. She held on tighter. We sat in silence for a long time, just holding each other. In the end, it was Beth who spoke the realization we had either recently discovered or that had been there all along and we were just now admitting it to ourselves.

"I love you, Jim. I always have and I know and understand how much you love me. Thank you for being honest about your feelings. Now it's time for me to be honest about mine. I loved being fucked by that black cock. Although I've never openly admitted it, you know it's been my fantasy for a while. Certainly, I would have preferred the first time to have been in a more pleasant setting but, in the end, this was real and I loved it. I brought out a desire I have kept hidden forever."

"I could do without that Stump guy. Even though he didn't fit the fantasy he still got to me. But Bull truly took me places sexually I had never known existed. I hope you love me enough to understand that. When I say that, I don't mean it as demeaning to you. No one could ever take your place. With you, it's about our lives together and all that encompasses. The sex is a part of that, and wonderful part that I always enjoy and want to enjoy forever. With Bull, it was just about the raw, mind-blowing sex."

"And as far as you sucking their dicks, I was at first a little surprised. Then, the more I thought about it, it actually turned me on a little to know that you were open to such taboo things. I especially liked it when you sucked Bull's cock. Things that the public find so wrong. Things like the feelings the public have about a married white woman having sex with a black man." The truths that my wife had just spoken was like someone opening a window on the first day of spring. A warm, refreshing air suddenly filled the room. And I loved this woman even more in that moment than I possibly ever had.

I started to speak but Beth stopped me. "Let me finish. I have thought a lot about what happened the other night. I know I shut you out for a while and I'm sorry for that but I had to work it out without any outside influence. All though it was a setting that neither of us would have preferred, I have finally accepted the fact that it brought out in me, maybe in us, but certainly in me some desires I had been hiding."

"I hope you are ready for this and I hope you still love me afterwards but I need to say it so I'm gonna just lay it out there. I want, no I need, to fuck another black man. Real tender, intimate sex. Not like last night. But in an environment that you and I control. I want to feel his length in me, and yes it has to be a big one. Sorry but it's just the truth. It has to be big like Bull's. I want to experience that length deep in me, pushing against my cervix as it pushes me to new heights. I want to witness the contrast in skin color. I want to kiss him and let him fuck me senseless. And then I want him to take my ass. To fill my ass with his cum. And, I want you to be there, either as a witness or participant. That would be your choice."

"And last but not least, watching you suck that black cock was a huge turn-on, after the initial shock of course. I would love to see you do that when you are unrestrained and free to be a willing participant. Free to do it the way you want to, not the way someone else wants. Even in that setting, it was so erotic. I can only imagine how exciting it would be if you have more control. Maybe somewhere in the back of my twisted mind, I have always wanted to see you suck another man's cock. If you would like, and if the situation is right, I would very much like for you to prepare my black lover to fuck me."

"So...there it is in a nut shell. I'm finally ready to admit that I'm a slightly disturbed white wife who had a lust for black cock. Not an admission that I would publicize, but one that I'm comfortable admitting to you. So...what do you think?"

I was, for a moment, speechless. I couldn't believe the seemingly rapid change in my wife's mental state. But I was thrilled. I finally found my voice. "What I think is that you are the most amazing woman I have ever known. You have, in less than 48 hours, taken a very tragic, humiliating situation and turned it into a revelation that will change our lives, the way we view sex, the way we view each other forever. And I think that I fucking love it!"

I was ecstatic. I was expecting weeks of brooding as Beth tried to come with grips with what had happened. Maybe even therapy for her, for us. Anything but this. "I love you and I love that you are willing to trust me with your true feelings. I was afraid that night had built a wall between us that we could never break down. I was in fear of losing you forever. And yes, I want to be there. I want to watch as you search for the whatever that peak is that your body will take you to. I want to watch you take black cock. Maybe multiple black cocks. And yes, I want to be the one to prepare those black cocks for you.

Beth finally seemed completely relaxed and ready to put that night in the past. "So...what do we do now?" she asked.

Grinning like the cat that ate the canary I replied..." I don't know. I guess we find a guy with a big black cock that will let me suck it before he fucks you senseless with it."

The laughter we were so used to was back. I'm not sure which one of us was the most relieved. There was no sex in the cabin that night. We stripped naked, lay in bed, and gently caressed each other as we hugged and kissed and discussed how to go about making our now openly confessed fantasies a reality.

Epilogue

We spent a few days at the cabin. After the Beth's soreness went away, we spent a considerable amount of time in bed practicing for the 'main event' if you know what I mean. If I haven't told you already, this woman loves sex...a lot. By the time we went home, I was the one who was sore and needed rest. Our time out of bed was spent discussing how to go about finding 'the guy'. This was new territory for us. We knew the internet was probably the best source. We also knew discretion was a must. It would almost certainly involve some out-of-town trips. Or, we thought, maybe this very cabin could serve as a rendezvous place, depending on the man and the situation.

A couple of days after we got home the officer who had taken our report called. They had recovered what was left of our car. It seems Bull and Stump had tried to rob a bank a couple of states over. Our car had not survived the car chase. The officer dropped by and gave us the needed information to recover our car and get the claim started with the insurance company. He also gave us a print-out of the news clipping from the Channelerburg newspaper. The newspaper article read:

"Following the unsuccessful attempted robbery of the Channelerburg State Bank the two suspects fled with the local police in close pursuit. Just out of town, the fleeing car failed to navigate a sharp curve and rolled multiple times. The driver, Steve "Stump" Samuels and passenger Jerome "Bull" Bullard, both recent prison escapees, were apprehended and taken to the local hospital to be treated for minor injuries. The car the suspects were in was reported as stolen a few days before the robbery. The police later reported that late last night suspect Jerome Bullard had somehow evaded the authorities who were guarding him in the hospital and escaped. A full-scale manhunt is currently under way. The police chief said in an interview that Mr. Bullard was on foot and unarmed and he predicted that his recapture was imminent."

I saw the instant concern in Beth's face when she read it. Apparently, it was evident to the officer as well. He assured her that we were not at risk. He said it was very likely that if Mr. Bullard wasn't already apprehended, he would likely be within a day or two. And even if not, he was two states away and on the run with no money and no way to travel.

He left with a promise to contact us with any new developments. The reassurance did little to ease Beth's mind. "Jim, I'm a little worried. I heard what the officer said but then I got to thinking, they didn't have a car or any money when they showed up at our house either."

She had a good point that I had no answer for. "I know, dear. But I think we are ok. Like the officer said, he is two states away." I hoped I came across as more confident than I really felt. "Anyway, we have to get on with our lives. And don't forget that Kayla is coming home next week on spring break and bringing her new boyfriend. We have a few things to do before then.

To be continued...???