The Decline

I have always had a small penis, for as long as I can remember I was on the smaller end of the scale, even as a youngster I was smaller than average. I remember the other kids laughing at me, it stung but there really was nothing I could do or say to defend myself.

Growing into early adulthood things were not really any bigger or better, and I most likely peaked at around 18 years old where my penis was at its fully developed stage. At just around 5cm though, this level of development was certainly not normal for other young guys, I used to love to swim but it was in the time where showers were not cubicles, they were open and this exposed me to ridicule. The showers in the military were the same and the ridicule was ruthless, utterly. I would have received less attention had I not even had a penis. Life goes on.

When I hit my mid 30's I noticed my already diminutive dick was in retreat, I was not circumcised and much more often than not, my foreskin was clenched tightly. I didn't know it at the time but this was the beginning of the end for my dick. It starts slowly, so slowly that for a while you don't even realise anything is happening, I guess that's just how it happens. One day I sat and tried to remember the last time I had an erection, I couldn't.

My erections were never big, somewhere between 7-10cm, just a stumpy little dick that bore no resemblance to the dicks you see in porn, just pointing forward awkwardly. The only impressive thing about it was how entirely underwhelming it looked and that even erect it could just about pass for a small, normal soft dick. I couldn't recall the last erection, not a morning glory, not stimulated by porn, nothing. "I've just been so busy" I told myself.

I suppose it would be 6 months or more that I hadn't been erect, which meant that aside from showering, my foreskin had been curled up tightly protecting my little dick inside. I'd noticed at some point that my foreskin was becoming reluctant to roll back and even when I did, it would curl back over at the first available opportunity and somewhere along the line, I'd surreptitiously developed some method of washing without tugging at it as it dawned on me that I hadn't actually revealed my, now hidden dick in quite some time.

How long it had been was another mystery I would never solve, a part of me was eager to put the thought out of my mind entirely and not concern myself, another, curious side wanted to see what was happening, to figure this all out. It took me a surprisingly long time to decide and I finally convinced myself to pluck up the motivation, pull back my foreskin as far as I could and see what exactly I could see for by this point, I was becoming very small, even by my standards.

The great reveal involved me sitting in a warm bath and gently massaging the bunched up nub of skin that now constituted my penis until it was loose enough to start peeling back. To my quiet shock, my dick was still in there but it looked very lifeless, it was small, smaller than it should be, very, very soft and a pale grey colour. I rubbed it a little in an effort to breath some life back into it but it was like touching something not attached to myself. "oh well" I thought to myself "at least it is still in there" as I finished up my bath and the foreskin quickly rolled back into place.

The next few days I tried to put it out of my mind but the nagging feeling that something might be wrong kept coming to me when I least wanted it. I kind of knew something was not right, I didn't really know what to do though and as any diligent self-diagnoser would do, I searched the internet for answers that I would never find. The more I tried to put it out of my mind over the next 3-4 months the more my obsession grew and I became certain that what was left of my penis was shrinking at an equal rate so I decided it was time to seek professional advice.

The idea of consulting a medical professional filled me with a kind of terror I hadn't contemplated since I was a kid in the communal showers, but I knew I needed to get some advice, even if getting the advice would come at the cost of my pride/dignity so I promptly showed up for my appointment. To my horror, the doctor had 2 students shadowing him, both female in their mid 20's. I contemplated making up an ailment to avoid the truth but I stumbled on my words and couldn't conjure anything up before my mouth blurted out "I have quite a delicate issue".

The inspection was completely professional from all three doctors, you would have expected nothing less, it was entirely humiliating for me and what was in reality 4-5 minutes, it felt like an eternity. After a brief discussion, the doctor issued his prognosis "it appears that your penis has atrophied" he went on to explain "it's the process of gradual decline in effectivity, a wasting away as a result of the degeneration of tissue cells" and informed me that there was good news and bad, the bad news was that in my case, it was irreversible and that any prescription would be ineffective but the good news was that I do not face an immediate risk of requiring any surgery.

This is the story of my little penis, from very small, to small, back to very small and narrowly avoiding becoming nothing at all.