All Comments on 'The Drusilian Mandala'

by Lion24655

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  • 7 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
we need a picture of the symbol

OBVIOUSLY!!!

or at least a better, more detailed description......

Frankly the incest and bisex angle was a little off (for me...)

however, I really liked the anthropological descriptions of the tribe. I thought it very realistic that when their enemies were defeated, they turned on themselves (punny?)

A little "absolute power corrupts absolutely" moral construct to this tale helped me overlook the incest. But if you pursue this storyline further, I think you should ALSO have him start to dislike himself, and what he has turned into. Forcing someone to love you isn't real love. Sure, let him make plenty of money first, and rise to power, but after awhile, he realizes that the girl of his dreams is the one that he DIDN'T have to use "the power" on.

Just stuff to think about. Thanks!

ap2techap2techover 9 years ago
Interesting

I find mind control stories fire my imagination. I hope he has more to do than just family. His power has possibilities. He should bypass his family for a bit and go the other women he fancied but couldn't get. Also his power should make the people think it was their idea to perform erotically.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

I loved the bisexuality angle, can't wait for more.

ChalkyCanberra1970ChalkyCanberra1970over 9 years ago
damn

U better write some more of this story! :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Great idea.

Nice take on the Mind Control idea. Like the Tattoo angle.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Very good

Thats a very good start of a story which has alot of potential and im looking forward for more very soon keep going

spinderspinderover 9 years ago
aa good start

A nice well paced start to what should be a nicely depraved tale!

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