The Gentle Master

I lay in the bed curled into a fetal position, my head shoved as far into the headboard as I could manage. I hate letting Him see my face when I feel like this.

"What are you DOING?" He roared.

I can't blame Him for being frustrated. This happens often, me panicking and shutting down rather than listening. I can't help it, though I know He sometimes thinks I'm doing it on purpose, to be difficult. He is a gentle, kind Master. He has never punished me physically and only sent me away from Him as a punishment a few times. I hated those times, often thinking they were worse than anything physical He could ever inflict. I love Him more than anything in the world, worship Him with my whole heart. I can't survive without Him and when we are separated I feel as though I am ripped in two, with Him holding the larger, more functional half of me.

He has never punished me physically because at the beginning of our relationship I asked Him not to. I craved-needed- a Master/slave relationship but a lifetime of abusive relationships has left me emotionally scarred. This leaves Him frustrated when after almost two years I get nearly as afraid as I did in the beginning- though He's never harmed me. He has put a lot of work into mending my mind and I know he finds it insulting I still behave this way despite His best efforts. I desperately want to please Him but find it impossible to change. I don't know what's wrong with me. However, recently, I realized that the thing I feared most was Him leaving me (permanently)- not physical punishment and had asked Him in a six page love letter to begin punishing me. I have a hard time talking about my feelings so I poured as much as I could into writing instead. My hopes are to complete our Master/slave dynamic and become the best slave I can be for Him, putting all this bad behaviour behind once and for all.

"I told you to find my tie." He said quietly, but I could hear his voice was seething.

I lay there, motionless, panic running through my body and mind. I tried to focus on breathing but instead a pins and needles feeling running from my toes to the top of my head distracted me. I find that I am unable to follow His request, my panic rendering me frozen. Oh how I hated these times. I wonder if this will be the first time He punishes me for my disobedience. Strangely, I look forward to that first time as I feel the need to grow, to be a better slave, before He really does leave me. One can only take so much of me, I'm sure.

I tried to get up, to listen, but the panic had me frozen in place. As I tried to will myself to move I felt the pins and needles feeling get stronger and move up and down my body faster.

"Go find. My tie." He managed to clip out as calmly as he could.

I tried to speak. To tell Him I couldn't move. But my vocal cords were just as frozen as the rest of my body, as always. "I--" was all I managed to choke out before I felt them freeze, stiffer this time, making it harder to breathe. I struggled to maintain some semblance of composure and cover my difficulty in breathing. Over time I've found the easiest way to do this is simply hold my breath- and I often do this without thinking now.

"He'd never believe you anyways!" A voice loudly sneers from the back of my mind.

"What?" He questions, then remains silent for a moment to give me a chance to speak. "If you don't get up right now and find my tie I will tear this whole house apart to find it." A promise I know He will make good on.

I remain quiet and try once again to move. The pins and needles feeling redoubles, feeling very similar to electricity coursing up and down my body.

"I can't move!" I surprise myself by crying out. I didn't even mean to say it- the words just poured out by themselves. I instantly regretted saying it- the voice is right- what is believable about that? The only ropes holding me down were my own, I should be able to untie them whenever I want. But I know I can't.

He is quiet for a moment and takes a few steps to the end of the bed directly below me. "Come here." He commands.

I struggle against my emotional ropes and feel both encouraged and discouraged when my feet move just a centimeter or two. "You better hope he didn't see that- you look so STUPID, so FAKE!" The voice yells. I hold my breath as I try again to no avail. She's right again and I hope against all hopes he doesn't notice my stupid efforts.

"The time to obey is now. Come." He says, more calmly this time.

I push, focusing all my efforts on listening to Him. After a moment I feel my emotional ropes snap and I crawl to Him as fast as I can, careful to keep my head down, face hidden. I can't let Him see me like this. When I reach Him I bury my face below His crotch between His legs and wrap my arms around Him, hugging Him as tight as I could.

"In times like these I find it helps you if I give you something to focus on. Would you like that? A little training lesson?" He questions.

I shake my head yes and feel Him smiling at me as He begins to unbuckle His belt and pull out His cock. I immediately search for Him, sucking his cock into my mouth as quickly as I can, happy to have a chance to serve Him and redeem myself. I begin to move my tongue up and down His shaft, feeling His hardness as He grabs both sides of my head and begins to pump in and out. He starts slow, steadily moving faster and faster, fucking my face. I begin to quietly moan, enjoying my chance for redemption. "Good girl." My pleasure in serving Him doubles upon those words and I begin to moan louder while sucking His large cock.

He rips my head off his cock and momentarily I wonder if I'd done something else wrong. But then He quickly turns me and throws me down onto the bed. I hurry to arch my back up and be ready for Him to take me from behind. In no time His cock is in my cunt, slamming into me hard. Harder, harder, harder. He pins my head down, telling me to bury my face in the mattress. I feel ripples of pleasure moving through my body. I scream my pleasure into the mattress. "Good girl" He croons, His words again doubling my pleasure. "Master, may I cum?" I plead. "Cum!" He commands. "Oh Master!" I cry out as the orgasm rips through my body. "I'm cumming--Yes, Master, thank you Master!" I begin to move my hips into Him, relishing the moment and as I feel Him begin to stiffen I redouble my effort as He explodes inside me and collapses on top of me. He kisses my head and taps me twice, His signal He is done with me-for now. "Good girl," He says, "now go find me that tie."

I find myself refreshed and scramble to go find it, ashamed of my earlier actions but pleased to be listening this time. I have the best Master.

This is my first story and I'd like to write more if the audience wishes :) please leave comments letting me know how I can improve my work and if you liked it.