All Comments on 'The House Party Pt. 01'

Well, that was disappointing.

I kinda liked it. What will she find inside the party? Naked people? Naked guys only? Good possibilities here. Personal dares can be fun if the payoff is appropriate to the risks. Have fun telling more of this story.

Love that you're building on your first piece with Erika and Jenny. Nice to read this style of story where it's all about fantasy realization instead of blackmail or coercion. Can't wait to see how the party goes! Keep it up. :)

Another good story. This one is better written. My stories are getting better, too, I hope, as things go along. There is a lyric in an old classic rock song: what to leave in, what to leave out.

Can't wait until your next adventure!

Maybe she'll find that Jenny and everyone else at the party is already naked. If not, then maybe she'll stay as the only one naked. Will she become aroused? Will her boyfriend be there? So many possibilities; eager for the next chapter.

Walking in a neighborhood nude... mmmm! This is a concept with sooo many fun variations. And... I can say from experience that you’ve captured many the feelings that bubble up along the way. Watching... listening... every breeze... the smell of new mown lawn... every sense aware. Go for it! Let your senses direct your writing. Enjoy yourself... I know we will!

Heck...made me hard. I love this kind of story. Can't wait to see what happens to naked Erika. The constant teasing is epic. Keep up the sexual tension without giving in to it for awhile. I wonder what will make her gush...

as you write and think of the next line, paragraph, idea, how does it make you feel?

great pemise, well written. bring on 2.

J'aime beaucoup ...

Ce que j'apprécie surtout, c'est cette façon de se rentre prisonnier de sa nudité ... C'est super d'avoir cette complice ...

J'aime aussi me priver de mes vêtements, mais seul, et pour un homme, c'est un peu plus compliqué !!!

Continuez à me faire rêver ... et à me donner de bonnes idées pour mes prochaines exhibitions ...

Great work! Thank you for sharing this.

Two bits of writing feedback: 1. You wrote "inner section" instead of "intersection" once.

2. You have a few time changes, Where you say "she is" or "she has" (present tense) when you should be saying "she was" or "she had" to match the rest of the story's tense.

I miss the hand cuffs.