The Imprisoned Spirit

With all this grinding through my brain I got home, and headed straight for a decent shower and shave.

I had now, like an engineer, done all the totally irrelevant calculations, without even broaching the main question! What sort of relationship - if any - did I want to have with Marlene! Make no mistake, having a relationship with her, was not going to be a cake walk, and Denise had been brutally clear about that! Her body was to all intents and purposes, functionless. Her ability to reciprocate was very close to nil, and so I would be in a very one way sort of thing, and there would not be any chance of any change in the future. The question was, would this satisfy my needs in any way, or would I simply look elsewhere after a while, because I was not getting all the sustenance I needed at home?

The biggest problem was not having any source of information covering how this type of relationship worked out in reality. I could not really think of anywhere or anyone I could turn, for what intrinsically was extremely personal information. I could probably find a couple where one of them was severely crippled such as a quadriplegic, but then do I simply ask the partner, "Excuse me, how do you co-exist, how does the partner satisfy your sexual and personal contact needs?" That was going to work - not a hope in hell!

My only possible source was the library, and so I resolved to tackle that later in the day, if I could get the time off to do this. So all my thoughts remained in a turmoil on the way back to Marlene's house, without me getting one bit closer to any form of solution. This was worrying to a certain extent, because I realized that if there had not been any form of attraction, this would not have posed a major decision crisis in my life - I would have simply walked away, without any regrets. My nagging worry was that I was confusing a need to nurture and protect, with a personal attraction, and was totally at a loss as to how to isolate the one from the other.

When I got back to the house, everyone seemed to put quite relaxed, and the sisters were chatting away with Barry really not being included. So I asked how the replacement project was going, and heard quite surprisingly really, that someone had been located, and that she would be here in an hour or less. This was good news for me, and when I was now not too subtly asked whether I had come to any momentous conclusions, had to admit that I had not, and needed some time to really make sure that whatever I decided, was sustainable as well as being the right thing for all concerned. This did not go down well with Marlene, and I had to quickly sketch some of the issues to her, especially the one of time available.

I decided to be really upfront, as anything else was not fair to anybody. I explained that I really did not have an understanding of exactly how such a relationship was going to work, how much time would be the absolute minimum to be fair to both parties, the times when we needed to be together, how leisure time was going to work plus a host of other unknowns. I ended by saying the worse possible approach, would be to jump into it with the classic "we will work it out as we go along", which in my experience ended in a fuckup 99% of the time.

Marlene thought about this for a while, and then agreed. "Gordon is absolutely correct," she declared, "It's no good charging into this, and then it all falls apart after a week or two. That would be really crap, and I would not want to be there in any way. So you must take the time you need, and no matter what you decide, I will never forget the past 24 hours - this you can believe!" At this Denise started to get up and Barry didn't lift a finger, so I offered her an arm and picked up her crutches, thinking she wanted to head to the loo.

But she didn't, and said she was going out for a smoke, and then looked pointedly at me to obviously follow, so I played along and said, "Is it okay if I joined you?"

We went onto the balcony and as per the previous time, we lit up and then Denise said, "What else happened last night?"

I played dumb, and said, "Do you mean here or at the party?"

She laughed, "No I have a very good idea what happened here, because you could have opened the windows and changed some of the bedding, I meant at the party. She didn't just fire him did she?"

"Actually she told him to Fuck off to be precise, if that's what you are asking," crossing my fingers that this was going to end the interrogation.

But it was not to be. "I have crippled legs, not brain and I am not stupid Gordon, there is no way you would have got so involved, with someone you had never met or spoken to before, in the way you did, unless something else happened!"

"Look," I answered, "it doesn't matter what else happened! When we got here, nature stepped in, and that's really all that matters at this point in time."

She looked at me hard for a moment and then said almost matter of factly, "Marlene tried to commit suicide didn't she?" Fuck I thought, this woman can read minds!

"Why the hell would you think that?"

I countered, hoping to deflect this line of thought. "I heard enough in her voice, when she phoned to know something much bigger than Greg screwing her around, had happened, although I knew that if Greg did screw her around, it would devastate her, as she had built an unhealthy reliance on him, so if that relationship had gone South, I would not have been surprised if she had decided to end it all, does that answer your question? And now be honest and answer mine? She did, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did, but if you ever tell her that I told you, you and I will have a major problem - Okay?"

"Come here to me please," asked Denise and I moved up to her. She reached out and gave me a hug, and said, "I would give you a kiss but I am worried you may get me excited, as it doesn't take much to get that part of me going, especially when it is with someone who likes my arse! Thank you for saving my little sister, I will be forever in you debt!"

"It's probably better you don't give me a kiss, as I tend to react quite noticeably to a kiss from an attractive woman like yourself, and given my involvement with your sister, this could really lead to whole heap of problems!" I answered.

Denise gave me a long look, and then turned away so I could not see her eyes easily. She reached up, and wiped away what I assumed was a tear, and then whispered so softly, that I could only just catch what she was saying, "No one has ever called me that before, and if I had real legs, instead of these pieces of steel-reinforced fucked up pieces of meat, I would probably jump your bones right here, and sort out Marlene later! Anyway, we have always shared everything, and she probably wouldn't object!"

"Hold your horses! We are going down a bad rabbit hole here, and right now, I don't need any further complications in my life!" I could feel some lower part of me thinking of coming alive, and desperately did not want a hard on now to complicate matters! "Anyway you are married with a kid, so are off limits at all times, whether Marlene was happy to share me or not - anyway I have serious doubts your sister would even consider that in the first place!"

"You really don't know Marlene I suspect, she and I have always shared everything - okay not Barry, but who would want to share him anyway - but everything else, even my vibrator! So if I asked her, she would give us her blessing!"

"Stop right there! You and I are not going to take this any further, because as far as I am concerned you are off limits, even though I do find you one sexy, attractive woman, especially since you wear sexy heels! Now let's get back to the others before something else starts to happen here, which we will probably regret at some stage!"

With that, I firmly indicated her to go back to the lounge, and I would follow, as I did. She definitely had a nice bum, and now that I had a better idea of her hardware, which creaked softly as she crutched, I found myself becoming aroused, so had to switch my concentration very carefully to what I was going to say to Marlene, about where we were going from here. In the lounge there appeared to be an awkward silence, which I presumed was due to Marlene not thinking very much of Barry, and him being pretty cautious about doing anything, that may result in him spending some time in the nearest hospital!

I also realized that Denise had to expend a significant amount of energy in walking, as her lower body, from the hips down, was pretty functionless, and therefor her arms had to do all the work. I wondered at the unfairness of it all, as neither of these lovely women had done anything to deserve this permanent and debilitating curse, leaving them paralyzed, and so unattractive to most of the male population. This too was so unfair - that the majority of the males judged a woman initially on the outward appearance, never giving the time to get to see the true person beneath the actually irrelevant outer casing. But then men are intrinsically shallow I reasoned.

CHAPTER 5

At this time fortunately for me, the doorbell rang, and Barry got up and went to answer it. It was the new carer sent by the agency, and Barry brought her into the lounge, and introductions were made all round. Her name was Mrs Carlson, "But call me Babs please," she asked. She was about mid 30's I guessed, maybe 40's, not especially attractive but quite chunky which indicated a fair innate strength, casually dressed but neat, probably around 5'7" tall and had a nice firm handshake.

She quickly dispensed with the formalities of her hours, which were she would live-in, but obviously have time to herself provided this was practical - it was, as Marlene was quite okay on her own for a few hours at a time - she added that the fee had been agreed beforehand and was fine, she needed to know where to park her car, and also what form of transport did they have for Marlene? This last was because she immediately recognized that Marlene needed her power chair or similar wherever she went.

I suggested that they buy a van and have it fitted with a rear or side lift and suggested a few makes. All looked at me for some reason, as if I was an expert in disabled vans, which I definitely was not! Babs said she knew a company that could fit a lift quickly and expertly, and that maybe she could get hold of the owner on Monday, and get his input as to which model was the easiest to accommodate a lift. This was agreed to, and then Babs said she wanted to have a private chat with Marlene, so she went to her bedroom and Babs followed and then closed the door.

So the three of us now sat in silence in the lounge, not really having much to actually talk about! As someone once said - the silence was deafening! I excused myself to go and have a smoke and Denise said she needed one too, and followed me out, much to my concern! On the balcony after we had lit up, she broached the subject I was sure we were both thinking of. "Look, I am attracted to you in a big way, but I will keep that under control for all the reasons you mentioned. But understand, my husband is really not a factor in my eyes. He is a shit lover at best, and from what Marlene told me when you went to freshen up - yes we had a very nice private talk! - you are considerably better!"

"He got me pregnant one very drunken night, so drunk that the next day he assured me, he had not slept with me, and quite frankly I could not remember what happened, and it was only when 2 months had passed and no period, I realized the fucker had made me pregnant! So then, as I said earlier, I decided to marry him, but I drew up a iron clad nuptial contract which precludes him ever getting his hands on my inheritance, which to be honest, I suspected might have been one of the reasons he took an interest in me in the first place!"

"Whoa! Too much information Denise! The both of you have really had an unbelievably shit deck of cards dealt to you, and my heart goes out to you too, BUT given my principles, I have to stick with Marlene, and really have to keep a tight control on any other thoughts that might pass through my weak male fortitude. In another time and or place, I may well have made a serious pass at you, and then ravished you accordingly, but not in this time or place."

"Hey! You are not helping! Now I have just wet myself with that last thought!" she responded.

"You serious?" I asked her incredulously.

"Yes, I told you how easily I become aroused and all it takes is the odd word or gesture from the right person to get my motor running!" She had tears in her eyes, and I was completely gobsmacked by the turn of events. I realized that I had an unusual person here in more ways than one, and had to really handle her with kid gloves, even though I now also had the beginnings of a hard on too.

"I am sorry, but I do not know what to do to alleviate your situation, that will not result in a worse one! Let's just go inside and talk about the weather, or some other bloody mundane thing which does not involve sex or intimacy! I am basically a klutz, and stumble around with the fairer sex, making one stuff up after the other. Now I also have to resolve the issue between Marlene and myself, while somehow fitting everything I do into the same timeframe."

So we went inside, with me once again admiring her rear, and also now taking in her crutching and how she lifted and swung her legs in a lot more detail. We made small talk after I helped her sit down - again the Dick did absolutely nothing to assist - and some 30 minutes later the two emerged from the bedroom and I was relieved to see Marlene was looking quite happy. So whatever they discussed had been to her liking.

"Okay," said Babs, "Need a volunteer to get my things in, as I will be moving in now with my basics. I will be getting the rest at a later date, once I have settled in here." I volunteered, and was quite surprised at the speed at which this all happened, thinking it would take a few days to find a suitable candidate, then a few days to get her ensconced. I put her few suitcases in the spare bedroom and turned to Marlene.

"I need to have a serious conversation with my Boss about getting some additional staff to lessen my load, before I can give you a decent answer. For now, yes I want to continue seeing you whenever I can get the chance, but given my schedules, this is not going to be too often initially, until the issue of the workplace gets resolved! I hope that this does at least partially answer the question which I am sure has been playing in your mind as much as it has in mine."

"I guess it does," was her answer, "So do you have any idea when this all is going to happen?"

"I will be tackling him during the course of the week - it is important to time this right or it will result in a blow up, as he is a pretty tightly wound individual. I hope to finish one design in a day or two, and that would be the best time."

At this Denise declared that since everything was now settled, they needed to get back to the child, and they would be leaving. I walked them to the door and there she turned to me and reaching up pulled my head down and gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered, "One day I want you to ravish me!" Barry had forged on ahead and was well out of earshot at that moment. Then I felt a hand grab my cock through my pants! How the fuck did she manage to do that while still standing up holding her crutches! Before I could react, she swiveled on her heel and off she went with a, "Bye!"

I stood and watched them drive off with her driving her car with hand controls, and him sitting in the passenger seat. He had not even offered to help her get in, and I had decided that I should not offer either, as I had a raging hard on, which she saw and gave me a naughty smile and wink from the car.

I returned to the lounge, and there made my own good-byes, as Marlene needed to be bathed and fed, and she also needed a decent sleep, as she was looking absolutely whacked. Babs also made it clear that they had discussed a lot of things, and she was definitely in the picture, and thought that a bit space and rest was needed. I bent down and gave her a nice kiss and she tried to grab my head to stop me pulling away, but I took her hands in mine and said, "Honey, enough for now, you need to have a break from me in many ways, and you know what I mean!" She pouted, and pretended to be annoyed, but we both knew that I was right.

I headed straight for the library, and scouring the books and pestering the oldish librarian, got hold of a few books about disabled people and personal relations. But these were more focused on the physical side of things - how to pick them up, bathe, toilet etc. Nearly zero on sex and pretty much nothing of any use on the personal interaction side.

During the next week, I got to talk to my Boss, and apart from a minor explosion, which included a few 4 letter words, and general accusations of slacking on the job, all of which I ignored, he eventually, amid a shitload of grumbles and threats of pay cuts, agreed to get in another engineer to share the load. This was going to take a week or two, as he needed to raid another department.

I also managed to look up another Varsity chum, who had gone on to specialize in cardiac treatment. I asked him in a roundabout way about the issue of someone hitting a pulse rate of 180, and whether this was dangerous. He laughed and asked if I had ever taken my pulse in a high speed stage section? "Obviously not! Too busy trying to keep the whole show on the road!" Was my answer.

"Well you probably hit the 180 mark in short bursts yourself and it hasn't killed you yet, has it?" As I pointed out, that I was pretty fit and my ticker was in good shape, but would this be true for someone with a weaker heart? He got quite serious at this point and said,"Look I am not sure where you are going with this, but knowing you, you are worried that someone you are having fun with is going to kick the bucket in the middle of you screwing her?" The bastard knew me too well! He then explained that for short bursts - a couple of minutes - the rate would not cause a heart attack, but if prolonged then it posed a real risk, so "Just take it in stages!" I banked this information.

I continued to talk to Marlene by phone at times which suited her, as Babs had given me a schedule to work to, and managed to get to see her on one night for a few hours. We did not have time for anything but holding hands and watching some TV which had just become available.

While we were watching the TV, I had held her hand in mine, managing to thread her fingers through mine. She asked what I thought of Denise, and I replied that she indeed had a really great sister who would really go the extra mile for her, which was indeed very fortunate. Her reply sorted of floored me, "Did she make a pass at you?" Was asked with wide innocent eyes.

"What on earth made you think that?" But there was a slight hesitation in my answer which no doubt she picked up.

"Denise and I had a very open talk while you were away - we sent Barry off to get some yoghurt and we had an hour of peace. I told her what we had got up to and she was so jealous it really made me feel rotten. Barry really doesn't satisfy her at all, in fact he hardly ever gets near her! So she is really very frustrated and starved, and said she would give a lot to share you! I gave her my blessing provided that it does not impinge on our relationship!"

I was pretty annoyed. "Geez, I have known you for less than a week and you are farming me out already!"

"No! It's not like that at all! Just as you saved me from myself, I have to also try to do the same for my sister, who would give me her arms if she could, or at least one arm. We have always shared everything because we effectively had nothing - money is not everything you know!" This was something so foreign to me, I was having one helluva job getting my head wrapped around this.