All Comments on 'The Lesbian Maker Ch. 04: Hunt Astrid'

Having fun with story but you need an editor

You are twisting names and it gets a wee bit out of sorts. Otherwise the story is awesome.

the premise of these 4 chapters is good , but the writing is at best terrible lol

I am normally forgiving of writing style but but really!

Don’t listen to these fools. Keep going

The idea is good but please read your stories before posting them. All the subliminal messages, hacking parts are ludicrous. How would Tom put cameras in places in never went ?

Really need to double check your work. Spelling and grammar errors all over. Mixing names up. Could be a lot better with a little work or some help.

Needs to be reviewed prior to posting. Find someone that double check your stories. Interesting and fun to read but the errors take away from the story.

Tongue is a word that you seem to lack of. A lot of the story is confusing in that you use the name and then that name again and that name again. it's confusing!