The Liberation of Amy

"Nice," she nodded her head and smiled "this will do very nicely! And that's the kids room there?" She passed through the bathroom and walked into the kids room. She looked about, then picked up a picture of Sara from happier days. After a long moment with a tear forming in the corners of those round eyes she turned and asked "I would like a copy of this photo if you are willing." Then she turned abruptly and went into the hallway. She stopped in front of my room. The door was wide open. I was embarrassed knowing it was a total wreck because of the last few days. She smiled wryly, "And your room?" she said as more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," I affirmed.

"Gordon, you have done real well for the kids. I can help you, I think. Let me help you. I can cook, do light housework, and keep the kids clean and well dressed, I hope I can earn your trust enough to be able to buy what we need for groceries and supplies. I promise I won't spend more than the budget we agree upon and I won't try to take over your authority. I just want to be a part of the family. I want to know my grandchildren." Her plea was of a family member, and not that of a hopeful prospective employee.

"Amy, I would love to have you here, I do need help right now and it seems you are the answer to my prayers. I agree you have a right to know your grandchildren. But please understand, I don't know you at all! I think I need to be a little careful before I hand over my children to anyone before I've checked them out. Do you have identification, references and recommendations? I feel terrible for asking, but these are my kids!"

"Yes, I understand. I do have references and I will bring them to you tomorrow, can I bring my stuff and move in tomorrow afternoon?

"Why don't we meet for lunch and I'll look at your references and then decide. Would that be acceptable?"

"Yes, I guess it will have to be. I really don't blame you, I would be careful, too. But you'll see, I will be the best thing that happens to your life!"

I showed Amy to the door and we agreed to meet at Gerome's for lunch the next day. I opened the door and she stepped forward and kissed me on the cheek and then hugged me lightly. She smelled of a most captivating perfume and her lips were soft and warm on my check. I couldn't help but blush. She stepped out into the night. I noticed how nice her ass fit in her jeans and how it wiggled as she gracefully walked away. Sara's mom was very intriguing, it was a little strange that Sara lied to me about her family, but again I have been forced over the last year or so to admit that Sara had not been what she seemed to be.

*********

The next day I arrived at Gerome's at our appointed time and Amy was already there, waiting in the foyer.

"Sorry I'm late," I said, though I knew I really wasn't.

"No, You aren't late, I'm early. I am just so excited to show you my references and qualifications."

She was excited, too. She could barely contain her exuberance. She reminded me of a school girl anxious to show her artwork. It was quite cute and I had to chuckle to myself. I saw her now in broad daylight and she was even more beautiful than she had been last night. She smiled as she hugged a large manila envelope to her chest,

"I think you will be quite impressed!" she chimed as we took a seat in a booth.

"I am already and I haven't even seen them yet." I smiled at her as she pulled a large bundle of papers from the envelope. She had quite a few references from various families and childcare institutions where she had worked.

"This one I worked as a nanny for about 6 years, I cried when they no longer needed me, I loved their little girl, Claire like my own." She was still a moment as she remembered her former charge or perhaps she remembered Sara and what could have been. "This one was for two years. They moved to Florida. The rest were shorter jobs for various reasons. In between jobs I searched for Sara."

I looked over the recommendations that were all glowing evaluations of Amy's skills as a nanny. Everyone of them listed first her great love for their children. She was compared by more than one of her employers as a virtual 'Mary Poppins'. She was right, I was really impressed.

"So?" She looked at me expectantly with a large grin on her lovely face. Her large round eyes were framed by amazingly long eyelashes which appeared to be completely natural. She wore little if any makeup except for a pale lipstick that accentuated her sensuous lips. I looked at her intently as she pulled more and more references from her large envelope without looking at me but when she finally looked up at me I had to turn my eyes away, I didn't want her to see that in spite of myself, I was quite attracted to her. Was it because of her resemblance to Sara or was it that she was so beautiful and animated in her own right? It was very confusing.

"I don't see anything here that would make me turn you away. So, I would be glad to have you move into my house and care for my children...er, and your grandchildren.

Amy clapped her hands several times in excitement. "I'm so happy! When can I start?"

"As I mentioned yesterday, I will be picking up Gracie and Gordon Jr. (I call him Gordy) from my sister's home in a few hours. In the meantime you can get your things and move into your room. I'll give you the extra key that Sar...". The actual thinking of Sara in the past tense caught me off guard and I had a momentary stabbing of the pain of loss.

Amy laid her hand on my arm and gave it a light squeeze and, you know, I felt better!

I looked up at her and she smiled at me sympathetically. Something about her smile and demeanor reassured me. I guess because her life contained so much pain too, it showed through as genuine empathy. I remembered a phrase I happened to read as I glanced through her recommendations, "She has the ability to sooth a child or even a parent who are distraught and suffering.``. I could definitely feel that quality as she looked deeply into my own pain, it was her pain too, the loss of a daughter she never knew, who rejected her, and died before she could make amends.

"I have everything I own with me," Amy smiled. She had a rather large purse and a large duffle bag nearby that I had barely noticed, they reminded me of those owned by Mary Poppins.

"Oh..., well, do you need to go anywhere or check out or anything?

"No, I'm ready to start now. Take me to our home and I'll move in." She smiled with a slight emphasis on the word 'our'.

I paid our bill and headed to my car. "I don't need to pick up the kids until this evening so you have plenty of time to get settled. Do we need to pick up anything for you: toiletries, women's things, personal items, anything?

"No I am good for the next few days at least. We will need to talk more about what is expected of me, my duties and responsibilities."

We arrived at my car and I opened the door for her. While she settled in, I put her suitcase in the back of my SUV and sat behind the steering wheel.

"You can drive, I assume?"

"Yes, I have a current license and everything" she laughed, "it was in my portfolio, didn't you read it?"

She was toying with me and I laughed, it was the first time I had laughed since the morgue.

"I must have missed that amongst all the glowing reports of your miraculous abilities, Mary Poppins." It was her turn to laugh and I found her merriment infectious. We were off to a good start!

"OK," she said, "Normally I don't do heavy housework, and redecorating stuff like painting and hanging pictures and things like that, but since I am actually a part of the family in a way, I kind of think my position in the family will need to be more flexible, do you mind that?"

"No, not at all. You are a part of the family, so, do you mind cooking and cleaning?"

"Well..."

I had to glance at her to see that she was smiling. "When you get a taste of my cooking you will jump at the chance." I declared.

"Oh, it can't be that bad!"

"The neighborhood dogs won't eat it, they run away when I come out the back door with a skillet or plate." She started laughing..."No kidding, It is really that bad!"

"And you have been feeding my grandchildren this swill?" She was still laughing.

"It must be nutritious, they have very little experience for comparison so thus far they haven't complained. Then again, I'm not certain about that, they both seem to fuss a lot at dinner time." She laughed some more, I was on a roll.

"Stop." she said playfully slapping my arm, "My sides are starting to ache."

I looked at her and liked her very much, she was going to fit in well, I decided.

"On a more serious note," I began, "Besides me the kids have only had my sister as a caretaker, they may be a little unsettled at first."

"I am used to coming into families that are in a difficult situation, it is part of my training and experience, I think we will get along just fine."

"Well, here we are," I announced as I pulled into my short driveway. I turned off the engine and ran around to open her door. I noticed she started to get out on her own but as I came around she stopped and waited.

"I can get out of the car myself," she chided me playfully, "we aren't on a date."

I suddenly felt uncomfortable, like I had crossed a line maybe. She saw the dismay on my face and immediately added. "I'm sorry, it's okay, I was teasing you, Gordon. You are a real gentleman, there are not many around these days."

We came to the door and I used Sara's key to open the door then handed it to Amy. She looked at it almost as if a relic, a memory of her daughter who led an even more tortured life than she. I could see it made her sad. I opened the door and she stepped into the house and my life would be forever changed.

*********

Amy spent most of the afternoon in her room, moving furniture and settling in. I helped her reposition the bed so she could see out the window, and that move required the shifting of a dresser and vanity.

"I like to look at the stars as I go to sleep," she explained. I didn't mind, it would be her room and she had a right to have it her way, besides, I like to look at the night sky, too.

"If you need anything put it on a list and we'll buy it as we can afford it."

"I am really good with household finances," Amy volunteered, "When you know that you can trust me, I'll offer my services."

I didn't answer one way or the other, I did need to develop a level of trust before taking that step but just the same, that was music to my ears. If there is any job I hate it's the balancing of checkbooks and keeping track of finances. Sara had been good at it too, until she started thinking that the bank was embezzling money from us, then she accused me of spending huge sums of money on hookers. That was when I insisted she start seeking treatment. It was the beginning of the end for us..., for her as it turned out.

About 3:30 Amy came into the kitchen where I was finishing up cleaning counters and submitting high chairs to their weekly thorough cleaning and sterilization.

"Can I help?" Amy asked.

"Actually, I'm about done with this. Why don't you get us a beer out of the fridge and we'll take a break for a few minutes.

She brought me a beer and grabbed a diet cola for herself, I remembered she wasn't much of a beer drinker.

"I think there is some wine in there, too," I added

"No, this is fine. I'd rather drink a cola than a beer any day."

We sat for a minute without speaking. It felt good to have another adult here even if for nothing else than for the company. I looked at her at last and she was looking intently at me, I didn't know for how long.

"I can see why Sara was attracted to you,' she said candidly, "Not only are you a handsome man but you have a stillness about you, a peace that fills the room about you."

I was a bit taken aback, I had never heard anyone say these things about me, in my hearing anyway, but I hoped she was accurate. I did feel at peace right then.

"Thank you, I hope that is a good thing."

"Oh yes! It is a required quality for a Nanny and a very good quality for a parent. I've had parents who were just the opposite and their kids are holy terrors to manage."

"My kids are really good kids," I said confidently.

"I would be surprised if they weren't," Amy was smiling at me and it made me feel good that she approved of me.

I had to admit I was also a little pleased to hear her say she thought I was handsome. You kind of lose track of being just a man when you are a full time parent to two small, demanding children, no matter how wonderful they are and how much you love them.

"Gordon?" She looked at me waiting for a response. I looked at her and wordlessly let her know she had my full attention, "May I came with you to pick up the children, I am so anxious to meet them!"

I thought for a moment but saw no reason to deny her request, "Sure! I don't see why not." The joy that spread across her face was worth the affirmative answer.

Then she suddenly looked fearful, "What if they don't like me?" She fretted.

"They are three and one, they may be a little fearful at first but they have always liked the people they meet. Gracie is a little too friendly sometimes, she seems to have no fear. Gordy just goes along.

"When do we go?" She asked next.

I looked at the wall clock as I spoke, "I am supposed to pick them up at 5:00 pm and it is 4:00 now so we'll leave in about 40 minutes, Jessica lives not far from here."

"Jessica is your sister, right?" She asked.

"Yes, she has been very helpful. I couldn't have made it without her."

"Does she know about me yet?"

I suddenly was a bit fearful because I had not let Jess know that I had made arrangements now for full time care of the children. Jess had stepped up big time for me over the last two years. She was my child care provider whenever I worked and she was my shoulder to cry on and my prop to hold me up when I was too weak to stand on my own. I owed it to her to tell her what was happening.

"Amy excuse me I need to call her and fill her in on the last couple of days. I'm afraid I have been very negligent about keeping her informed. I hope she isn't upset."

I left the room, went out into the back yard and took a seat on the patio to call Jess.

"Hello, Gordon. The kids are doing fine!" Jess was always like that.

"Jess, I have some pretty big news, I hope you will be pleased."

"What?" I could hear apprehension in her voice.

"I have a live-in nanny for the kids!" I tried to make it sound like the great news it really was.

"Oh Gordy! Did you go out and meet some young girl who was willing to live with you?" She chided me. She only called me Gordy when she wanted to mock me. I think she thought maybe I was joking or had gotten 'lucky' over the weekend. She had been pressuring me to try to get out and socialize. "You were supposed to just have a little fling, work off some steam, not get serious and bring home a woman to keep track of your kids!" I let her finish her japes.

"No, really. I'll tell you all about it later when I come to get the kids. I know you're going to like her. I do want you to meet her." Jess was quiet for a long moment.

"Jess? Are you still there?"

"Yes...you're serious."

"Yes, I'll tell you all about it later. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I know you have put your own business on hold while you took care of Gracie and Gordy. I want you to know I couldn't have made it without you."

Then the questions began: "Who is this woman? How did you meet her? Why didn't you tell me you were thinking about getting a Nanny. Shit Gordon, this isn't like you to go off half ass like this without talking with me first. What the hell?"

"I'll tell you later, Jess. I'll be over a little early so we can talk a bit. You'll see when we get there. Bye"

"Don't you hang up on me, dammit Gordon I have about two dozen goddamn questions, Don't forget, I love these kids too, just like they are my own..."

"I'll tell you all about it when I get there, Bye," then I hung up. It was the only way. I wanted to tell her about Amy face to face.

Amy became like a little child, excited for a new adventure. "I want to fix foods they like for my first meal with them, So what can I fix?" She asked.

"Both of them really like macaroni cheese and hotdogs. The only vegetable they will eat is cream peas. Good luck with anything else that is green."

As I finished cleaning the high chairs, tables and counter. Amy familiarized herself with the kitchen and pantry. She turned and looked at me with some skepticism.

"What? Are you looking for something?"

"There is a lot of processed foods here, I hope you will let me shop for healthier foods for the children... and for you" She smiled at me looking for my reaction.

"I needed to get by on what was easy," I said a little defensively. To be honest Jess had criticized my choice of foods as well.

"Well, now that I'm here, you don't have to look for 'easy', we'll look at healthy instead. I promise you will like what I fix."

"Not having to fix it myself is a big plus right off." I said.

Amy soon had the menu planned and the pots and pans she needed on the stove top, the plates and silverware out on the counter, and Gordy's bottle ready to be filled. I was surprised how quickly she adapted to my kitchen.

She was a bundle of energy, which I attributed to her excitement over the impending introduction to her grandchildren. Her energy was infectious and for the first time since Gordy was born, I couldn't wait to pick up my children too. Don't get me wrong, I love them more than life itself but the weight of single parenthood, especially in the circumstance of abandonment due to a partner's drug addiction and the guilt and self abasement that goes with it, was so heavy that any time without the responsibility was like a vacation. But that weight was lifting now and the freedom I felt was lifting my spirits far above what I thought possible. I hadn't realized how heavy it had been until now.

"Hell, we're all prepared here, lets go get the children!" I suggested.

Amy jumped up and clapped her hands together in glee, then jumped into my arms and hugged me. Her height was such that she was standing on her tip toes to reach around my neck with her arms. I could have easily lifted her off the ground. The hug didn't last long but it was long enough I felt the heat from her body and the shape of her breasts against my chest. Her softness against me made me feel safe, and to my chagrin, I became aroused.

When she let go of me and settled to the ground she bounded toward the door, seemingly unaware of my reaction to the close contact with her. "This is not good." I thought to myself, "I can't start lusting after my mother in-law even one who looks and feels as good as Amy." I dismissed those feelings out of hand and followed her toward the car. "I will ignore that hug, it never happened. My feelings will go away, They have to!" I told myself.

We drove the short distance to Jessica's. When we pulled in the drive, Ray Davis, Jess's new boyfriend was waiting on the front steps. he stood and approached us as we got out of the car.

"Gordon, you better go in alone first, Jess is pretty upset." He warned, "Hello. I'm Jess's boyfriend and you are...

"Ray, this is Amy, my new nanny and more significantly, the children's grandmother."

Amy smiled and extended her hand in greeting. Ray smiled and shook her hand. "I'm sure it is nothing personal toward you, Amy, I just think Gordon here made an error in judgement in the way he handled this. You better stay out here with me, there are likely to be fireworks in there." He was looking at Amy but he was talking to me. I didn't know him well, as yet, but I was impressed with his reception of Amy and how he warned me of the impending battle. I hadn't figured that Jess would be upset...but I was wrong and I was really wrong!