All Comments on 'The Love Club Pt. 01'

I an in st. Louis also and would love to hook up with you and this couple. I am a sub and will do what I am told to do.

Dam, that would be amazing to be that guy. I was hard from the start.

"I was the quarterback! Lol"

That kind of writing really brings down the readability and quality of the writing. It's fake, unrealistic. Have you ever heard someone pronounce the end of a sentence as "lol"? If by chance you have, you probably thought the person was an imbecile.

Write your dialog so it captures how real people would be talking in the situation. That makes the story much more readable, realistic, and interesting.