All Comments on 'The New Puppy'

Great last line! Maybe she should have gotten an older dog.

5

Feels like a solid intro. Leaves us hanging onto what happens next, the why etc. amusing but I would like more as it is such a fun setup.

I love it. Short, sweet, and the last line is a killer.

Nice setup for a LW story.

Good for as far as it went. I missed where Jim and Susie were having problems in their marriage; you just dropped that on us like Buster not being house broken.

Ahh…the ubiquitous Buster… with nods to DTI and RG. Susie’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. That would be a conversation to listen in on. Fun tale of revelation. I enjoyed it. Thanks.

Continue this please

This is more like an intro to a story, and not a complete scene or complete story with an ending of any kind. But still, it was good.

The story was just starting at the point the author ended it. Too bad. Looked like it had potential.

She has to keep the dog. D

This was one story that did NOT fit in the 750 word category. it just began when it ended.

Yes, I know this was a 750. Yes I know some stories are actually better when they stop early. I just wished you would have taken this one quite a bit further. You have a good talent as far as I'm concerned and I would have like to follow this one to more of a conclusion. That being said, I am always appreciative of y'all that share your talent to entertain us. Thank you so much.

Agree with others - 3.8*

Is it kosher to write a SECOND 750 word story to finish the first? I loved it, but would sure like more!

Good start. It was just getting interesting.

Oops! Good one!

OK, this was a new take on the discovery of infidelity. She got busted by Buster in front of her husband and her parents. That's rich!

Story has some nice potential

So when is the ending coming?

Less than 1/2 of a story

This leaves a lot to be explained? How do we know who had needed the condoms if Susie worked at home? Were they another secret that the mother had told her about getting a dog or had they belonged to her children? A verty confusing story.

There is so much more to this one.

mmmm wonder who is the real dog here?

Great story, haha Buster was pissed off at Susie……

This is an adequate prologue to a story.

4*

Busted by Buster.

WAAAY too short! Ended just when it got interesting. Next time, leave out all the introductory stuff, start with getting the puppy, then show what happens next after the condoms.

Boom boom!

JR

Just didn’t work. The surprise at the end was just lame.

.

2 **

Probably fits in the 750 word category, though you didn’t specify it as such. And for such a short story, there were too many paragraphs that added nothing to the plot line. There’s no emotion or angst. All in all, the story seemed to have only one purpose - to deliver the lame punchline to an implied joke.

End of this story was more like a hook for another chapter.

less than half a story gets less than half a score

Nice for a 750 "teaser" story. This could have been and SHOULD have been a longer tale of interest. Left us wondering what happened on game night. Buster busted Susie so FTDS.... Only 3 stars for an incomplete story.

Short and to the point. Busted by Buster.

More like an intro than an actual story.

Very cute way to out a cheater. Good dog!

I agree with CrazyDave, cute.

Good one!

Nice! Now BTB!

Would a mum really call out her daughter in front of her husband?

@Mrhappy4aa is correct. You set up a scene and sprung the surprise well, but didn't tell a story. As another author might say, "Where's Buster Now?" -> 3*.

I disagree with others. This ‘story’ could have been a good one if the writer hadn’t spent 700 words on background and the setup! 2*

“Look what I found, daddy”. Cute story.

I can imagine the ending, but wouiild like more of this story

A great start. I'd love to see you continue it.

Way too short to even be considered a story, I'll call this imcomplete

I generally like 750s and give them a LOT of slack. So, i'll give this 3.5 stars instead of deserved 2 for basically zero downside to the cheater and zero HEA for MC.

Buy that dog a bone!

OK - where do you go from here?

Meh. Not bad fot a 750, but basically Average. Three stars.

Okay. Four stars.

JPB

and?

Ooo…I challenge you to write more in a 750 word second chapter!

Hah!

I think it must be written in the Literotica rules that all dogs must be named Buster.

Needed a longer second chapter... hahahahahaha

Too much background, not enough of the real story, wordy, inadequate ending.

A good Beginning of story.

Ooooo, this should be labeled Chapter One, and should be continued.

A good beginning to the story!