The Only Exception Ch. 06

Hello my beautiful readers!

Normally I don't like doing this but given the context I just wanted to give a little trigger warning for mentions of ptsd and past trauma/sexual assault. I tried to give as few details as possible while still showing how it affected the character. Also, I feel I should mention, the longer the chapter the more likely it is that I missed mistakes in editing and this is a pretty long chapter. I don't know how other writers do it! Lol I hope ya'll enjoy the reveals of this chapter and please leave me more lovely comments or even messages! I enjoy hearing from you guys!

Much love! Xx

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"Three things cannot long stay hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth." --Buddha

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Ben's Pov:

"The way I heard it, you're pretty easy."

I flinched as the words were whispered into my ear, drowning in the way they lingered around me. I could almost feel Logan's breath and yet I couldn't smell him. But what did scent matter when he taunted me like this?

"You know I'm friends with Drew right?"

I shivered but I felt rooted in place, unable to move from the hands that pursued me.

"Look at that scared, cute, little face," the whispers continued, sounding so fuzzy and warped that chills broke out across my skin. "Did you really give head to all those boys, cockslut? You'll let anyone fuck you, won't you? Won't you?!"

This time the voice changed and my entire body tensed. I hadn't heard his voice in ages. I always blocked it from my mind but now, somehow he was here and I could feel even more hands all over me. I wasn't alone with him anymore. There were others and they wanted a piece of me too. I couldn't escape even if I wanted to. It was frightening and I didn't want them. I just wanted him. Didn't he know that? I felt the bodies of the other boys surround me. They were all so much bigger than me, even if they were only humans. It was getting so hot and I couldn't think clearly. There were so many of them... I felt slick drip out of my virgin hole as I took in the surrounding scent. I badly wanted to be fucked but this situation was intimidating to me.

"Such a whore," someone chuckled, though I couldn't tell you who.

"I know. Alpha's are so lucky to have a willing hole whenever they want it," someone else laughed as the group pressed in closer.

"P-please," I heard younger self beg. "I-I t-think I'm.. m-my heat it's-"

"Shut her up," someone complained and before I knew it, I was choking.

*******

I sat up in bed gasping for breath, trembling from head to toe because of my all too real nightmare. I nervously took in the unfamiliar surroundings before my wolf caught scent of the human sleeping next to me. I panicked and nearly jumped out of the bed before my frazzled brain realized that I was in the presence of my Master. Still, I couldn't control my shaking. I forced myself to inch as close as I dared, so that I could drink in my Master's smell without waking him. His scent took the edge off and the cobwebs in my mind began to clear. I wasn't back at the shed. I wasn't having my first heat out of nowhere and I wasn't surrounded by anyone. I was safe, wasn't I? I was with my Master. He would never damage me, even if he was a human like them. So that meant he wouldn't hurt me during my heat...right?

I knew it would be coming up soon. I could feel the occasional rush of warmth in my blood and I was beginning feel the mounting anxiety that always accompanied it. My heat was only a few weeks away now, earlier than I had anticipated, and I didn't want to spend it alone. So, what if I asked Adam to spend it with me? Could I do that? Maybe. He was my boyfriend after all, not some boy I had unrequited feelings for.

I shivered as my thoughts tried to go back to my trauma. I pushed myself to think about something else, anything else. In the end, I couldn't fight the memories and, as destructive as it was, my body craved going through the motions of that night. I fought the perverse desire as hard as I could, forcing myself to lay still for a solid hour and still I felt unbearably submissive. My throat burned from how empty it felt and my human was right here. He didn't have to know what I was doing. I could get away with it and he could enjoy me...

"Don't do this," I pleaded with myself even as I began to peel the blanket off of my Master's gorgeous muscled body.

Thankfully the handsome man was laying on his back, and wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers, so I had complete access to his cock. I carefully arranged my body so that I could bury my face into his crotch and began to kiss his morning wood, despite the way my stomach curdled with guilt. It wasn't right. I was forcing myself to continue my nightmare and my Master had no idea that I was attempting to relive my trauma. It was such a fucked up way to cope. I was using him. Why was I like this?

If my Master knew he would be sure put a stop to it but I couldn't help myself. I needed him to suffocate me. I was so twisted. I felt a jolt of fear run through my body as I fished his cock out of his cotton constraints and took a quick breath before I forced it down my throat one go. I choked, just like in my memories, and my mind was soon transported to the horror of that night. I got so lost in my head that drool began to pool in my mouth, leaking in messy streams down my cheeks as I fucked my own throat raw, without my even noticing.

"Someone's a hungry little whore this morning."

I froze as strong hands weaved themselves into my hair with a tight grip.

"Did I say you could stop?" His deep voice growled and he spread his legs so that they could wrap around my torso while he dug his heels into my back. I couldn't move away now, even if I wanted to. This felt familiar.

I shook my head and doubled my efforts. If I was good maybe he'd let me go and protect me from the others. I felt tears begin to sting my eyes as I did my best to please the cock in my mouth, choosing to please it over breathing for as long as I could manage. I had to be good. I just had to be.

"Ugh f-fuck Benny," the man moaned softly as his fingers tightened in my hair.

I twitched, surprised by the gentleness of his tone but I had no time to process it for the hard cock in my mouth began to erupt. I swallowed all his semen down dutifully and obeyed the hands that began to push me away. I blinked with surprise when nobody else grabbed me, finally registering that it was Adam that had fucked my throat and not... someone else. I'd truly forgotten where I was, transported by the horrors of that night. Now that I was coming back to reality I felt repulsed by my actions. Unfortunately, but as expected, my sweet human had no idea what I'd done and he greeted me with a bright and happy smile.

"Good morning baby. That felt incredible! I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend like you," he praised. Then he pulled me close and kissed me while I died a little bit inside. My human really liked what I had done and he looked so happy. How could I tell him that I'd chosen to use his body to relive a traumatic experience when he thought I was being sweet? I was so fucked up, why did he like me? "Do you want me to make you cum baby?" He whispered teasingly in my ear.

I pulled back and quickly shook my head in disagreement. I didn't deserve that after what I'd done. "No Master. You just locked me up, I couldn't possibly be allowed out of my cage already," I protested feebly, although I was fully prepared for him to use me however he would like. I just didn't want it to feel good, I felt too guilty for all that.

Adam gave me a puzzled look, "But what about yesterday? You were practically begging me to make you cum then."

I didn't know how to reply to that so I looked down at my hands and folded them in my lap; torn between the idea of pleasing my Master and feeling completely undeserving of pleasure. Not to mention the tiny fear that had taken root in the back of my mind that agreed with Logan and Drew. Maybe I wasn't a real omega? Maybe everyone thought I wasn't worthy of the title and were they wrong? Despite the embarrassing display in front of my queen and my pack, I still went back to submit to a human, even after all these years. I couldn't ask for pleasure. I could only hope that Adam would take me and put me in my place so that I didn't have to think about anything anymore. I almost wanted him to rape me but I had a feeling that saying that outside of a scene would only make him worried. I didn't want him to worry about me. I just wanted him to force me. It was what I deserved.

Yes. My wolf agreed. If you don't have a choice, then how are you being a fake omega?

With my mind made up I continued to sit quietly, waiting eagerly for an angry response, but when I refused to answer Adam simply shrugged, gave me a kiss on the forehead and got up to use the bathroom.

I was a little shocked by his lack of reaction. What was wrong with me? Was I somehow not being the right kind of submissive? I was used to my Master being more aggressive than that. If I refused to answer during a scene, there was a good chance he'd force me to by threatening a punishment. Right now it felt like he didn't even care. Didn't he want me to be good for him?

Or maybe.. was this a boyfriend thing? Did dating me mean things were different now? If that was true, I wasn't sure how much I liked having a boyfriend at the moment. I really didn't enjoy this new way of doing things, where he was so considerate of me. It was too sweet. It drove me crazy.

Why should he care what I wanted? No one else did. I was nothing but a bag of used flesh, my own kind recognized that. I was...nefarious. Why couldn't this human see that and take me if he so desired? Anyone else would take me, whether I wanted it or not if given the opportunity, and I wanted him to! So why wasn't he responding to my defiance? If he wanted me to talk, why didn't he order me to? If he wanted me to cum why didn't he just make me? I wanted him to make me. Who really cared that I said no? Was dating me changing the way he saw me? Was he losing his desire to show me my place? I still wanted to be the one he used and now he didn't want to use me? Was I ruining him like I ruined myself?

My mind twisted into a complete downward spiral and by the time Adam returned, I'd become near crazed with the idea that I needed to test my alpha. I was going to switch roles. Normally, omega's never tried to intentionally provoke their alpha's like this but it wasn't an unheard of tactic. Usually an omega behaving that way only happened during heat. Typically, when an argument started before their heat set in, the omega would act like they were the alpha, especially if they wanted to be pounded into the floor. I'd never heard of an omega testing an alpha outside of that context but there was a first time for everything.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, looking unfairly handsome in his white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Why did he have to make this so difficult? All I wanted to do was bow before him, groveling at his feet for my sins but I couldn't let myself. He had to make me.

"A little," I replied softly, trying my best to ignore my nerves so that I could perform correctly.

"What would you like? I can make it for you and bring it back down. We can eat here in private," Adam told me while stepping closer to wrap his arm around me.

I couldn't let him serve me. I quickly stood and moved out of reach so that I could dress and then I began to head towards the stairs. "Don't bother," I called over my shoulder with a false wide grin. "I'll just order something for us to eat, my treat!" I continued, in what I hoped was a confident voice, even though I felt stupid for offering to buy food that I knew he could get for free.

I made my way up the stairs without waiting for Adam to reply. Hoping that any moment now, the strong man would pull me back down he steps to punish me for my insolence but he simply followed me up. I sighed in irritation, already exhausted from displaying even this small show of dominance and I almost backed down without Adam's help.

Don't stop, my wolf encouraged. He just hasn't caught on yet but he will.

I took his advice and spent the rest of the morning acting like I didn't know the meaning of the word submission. I'd never been so bossy in my entire life. From ordering my own meal and Adam's, without so much as asking him what he wanted, to my refusal to call him Master. I was trying so hard to be dominant that I felt nauseous, however, my pathetic attempts at role reversal seemed to be fruitless. The human acted as if my behavior was completely normal, to the point where even my wolf stopped calling him alpha. How could he be my alpha when he let me dictate his entire morning, without so much as a frustrated sigh? It was an exhausting little game and I seemed to be the only player, which meant I was losing. The longer I pressed on the more I began to feel the oppressive need to fall before his feet, in a last ditch attempt to get his attention, but I almost felt like that would be a step too far. I knew Adam didn't want me kneeling in the diner and as much as I wanted to be dominated or punished, I couldn't handle the thought of embarrassing him and I didn't want to admit that I needed time alone with him, when I'd already said no earlier.

"Baby," Adam started after our food had been cleared away by the waitress. "Did something else happen last night? Something you haven't told me?"

I froze as scenes from my nightmare replayed themselves in my mind, followed by Logan's words: "Real omega's don't submit to humans."

"Not really," I finally answered. It was sort of true. The events that were haunting me now were not from last night, even if the memories of them had been unlocked by Logan. Besides, I was too humiliated to admit the painful things the beta had yelled for all my pack to hear during his brawl with my brother. What if Adam agreed with Logan? I couldn't take the idea that he might, even if it was only a slim possibility, so I stayed quiet on the matter. I was a real omega. Wasn't I?

"Benny, was the cage a bad idea? Maybe I should just take it off. It's not that-"

"Adam no! I-it makes me feel safe," I admitted, ashamed of myself for feeling that way. "No one can touch me there again," I added softly, unable to meet his eyes.

Then my phone buzzed and even though I wanted to ignore it, I knew it was best to see who was messaging me, at least, after being out all night.

Gabe: Ben, you need to come home. No one is mad at you but momma is getting nervous. Please come home. For her?

I looked up from the message wishing that I hadn't checked my phone. I felt horrible. I hated worrying my mother but I was terrified to face my family after last night. I was sure that the entire pack was gossiping about what had happened and I was too humiliated to show my face. I had wanted to return in the middle of the night but now I could see that it was no longer an option.

"Bad news?" Adam asked gently as he took my hand in his.

"No. It's just time to go home," I answered, biting my tongue to keep myself from begging for a punishment, just so I could get the attention I craved before I left. I couldn't give in. He had to make me submit.

"Oh okay," he replied as stood up to walk me to the door.

I did my best to hide my disappointment at his readiness for me to leave. I'd truly failed at my stupid little game and now I was starting to feel the effects. I needed to get out of here before I made a scene by having a pathetic meltdown. I needed so badly to be punished or something. Had this been an ordinary circumstance, I'd be soothing myself with thoughts of going to the dungeon later but now I didn't have that option, for I refused to make trouble for Adam at work. I was leaving the comfort I needed and I couldn't express my needs properly once again. Would I ever be good at sharing my needs with my boyfriend? I wished last night had never happened. It was fucking with my head too much. I was going to ruin my relationship at this rate.

I barely heard Adam's goodbye as I walked away. I was too busy fretting over the dreadful experience I was about to endure, combined with my unease that Adam had a lack of response to my behavior. When I was about halfway home I was cut off by my brother blocking my path. I kept my head bowed and my eyes trained to the ground, too self-conscious to even look at him. What did my big brother think of me after everything Logan had said?

Gabe pulled me in for a hug but pushed me back almost immediately, "Benny, why do you stink like a human?" He asked calmly as he held me at arms length.

"Do I?" I asked nervously in return, only now realizing that I hadn't taken the time to wash Adam's scent from my skin.

"Yeah. You're soaked in his stench," Gabe replied causing me to look up in shock.

"His?" I asked a little breathlessly, fearing the worst.

"I don't see you denying it," Gabe answered looking cross. "But keep lying to me if that's what you want."

"I-I'm not-" I tried to protest. Unfortunately, I was so exhausted from my morning of failure that it was hard to figure out a good cover story.

"Whatever," Gabe interrupted as he grabbed my hand. "Let's go to my place so you can shower off or momma will be even more upset than she already is. You smell disgusting."

I didn't fight my brother as he pulled me in the direction of his house but I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. Did my scent mixed up with my humans really smell that bad? Mixing your scent with your mates was meant to smell good. Was the scent bad because of me? If Gabe noticed my tears he didn't say and before long we arrived at his cozy homestead.

"Go in through the back, I'll keep Alvie distracted. You really need to get rid of that smell," Gabe instructed before he left me in pursuit of finding his pregnant mate.

I did as I was told, relieved to have someone controlling me, even if it was just my brother. My brain hurt too much to think anymore. All I had to do right now was shower, just like Gabe said, and that was more than enough.

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Forty minutes later I'd showered, changed clothes and was sitting at the kitchen table in my home, across from my worried parents and my overly watchful brother. The atmosphere was tense and melancholy and none of us spoke for several minutes. Part of me was worried about how angry they would be with me for disappearing for the night, despite that Gabe said the opposite. The other part of me was more afraid of having to deal with what my brother knew about me once my parents had said their piece.

My mother suddenly grabbed my hand tight in hers as she cleared her throat to speak. "Sweetheart, I have some really bad news that I need to share with you. It appears that after everything that happened last night... well," she took a deep breath, looking as if she were on the verge of tears. "Benny I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but.. it seems as if word of your past.. encounters has spread like wildfire throughout the pack and.. the neighboring packs. We don't know for sure who started the rumors, just that it happened after your bother's fight with that despicable beta!" She explained with a glare aimed at Gabe, probably blaming him for the entire situation. "Her majesty is doing everything in her power to find out where certain... specific rumors were started but honey," I watched as a single tear made it's way down my mother's pale cheek. "It's not your fault of course," she assured with another glare aimed in Gabe's direction. "But.. it's too late for her to do anything that would help to secure you a mate. It seems that any interest any beta or alpha previously had in you is now... nonexistent. N-neighboring pack leaders have been coming forward all morning to request that our queen keep you away from their alpha's," my mother explained gently, though she looked mortified to admit that last part.