All Comments on 'The Other Betrayed Spouse'

I have a couple of acronyms for you: WTF, FTDS! 😏

Well written sad story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A vignette, taken from life. 5*.

I agree. Finish it. You know, these days photos can be faked. D

Sometimes leaving the ending slightly open is good. This is not one of those. I had a near instantaneous feeling that for some reason that the wife is being set up for some purpose by the young husband. Unless the pictures show clear intimacy or entering and exiting different rooms in different hotels on different dates, I might have doubts. After 23 years, I would want to spend a bit of effort to verify information. In the business world revenge plots are not unknown.

Not much in those words. It’s like ending a movie after the first scene.

A good change of pace for LW, but story seems very incomplete. It is but a couple scenes, brief at that.

Again, finish the damn story. If you have more, indicate this will be continued. If you want others to finish it for you, at least flesh out the story better. I just wasted 5 minutes with this.

Too short and unfinished

I thought that this was going somewhere and then it ended.

I sense a pattern! Bare bones! Unfinished! And you write entertainingly. The last exchange was tasty :). But overall, it made for a disappointing repast. I guess if this is your style, so be it. But I can’t help but feel that there is something lurking in the back somewhere wanting to get out… fingers crossed.

Typical fantasy BTB, because that is what the little boys in here want to read

Sorry, you skipped out on the opportunity for some really creative writing.

Like the other story - only one scene from a potentially engaging story - 3.4*

Where's the ending? Does she rack him over the coals? Does he do a runner and leave her high and dry? So many possibilities, none presented. Badly done.

Yeah, what Beinhart said!

Why do you seem to have a real problem with finishing your stories? This one just stops abruptly at the attorney’s statement. Not complete at all.

less than half a story gets less than half a star

The story appears to be missing an end, a middle, and most of the beginning. What's there is just a mundane conversation. No drama, no unexpected twist, no explanation, no closure.

Where is the story?

If there are more chapters, please state so at the beginning AND in the headline.

More needed, ending is too abrupt.

Hope she finds out it is a scam and that without even talking with her husband she has made the biggest mistame of her ruined life

It's interesting that when a slut wife cheats endless times, she should always be forgiven and taken back, but when is the husband to cheat, he must be always brutally destroyed. Are most (almost all) of these LW tales just a bit one-sided ?

Unfortunately all of your stories leave the feeling that there must be coming some more. They seem to be unfinished. Therefore only 3*

It's the start of a story. If you are going to make a full story, could you write more next time. Not too keen on a story in 20 plus parts.

Well written and reasonably paced though.

Beinhart said all that's needed

Too short...

does this writer ever finish a story ? 1

Good Start. I can almost smell burning flash. 5

This isn't a story (yet?).

This is an 'teaser' from a story .... what someone who doesn't want to actually read a whole story might read so that they could participate in a conversation about it. (A bit like I'm doing with this comment .... only I didn't know that's what would happen when I started reading.)

OR ...

This is a teaser from an author who wants the readers to tell him if he should continue the story. (My view is that the author should not have posted this, if he didn't plan to finish it.)

OR ...

This is a 'beginning' for a story (with the potential for becoming a good story) that was perhaps prematurely submitted, being that it is quite short and offers scant evidence of any intent to take it further. (There is no "Ch. 01" in the title, no foreword or afterword indicating the author's plans, and no "to be continued" end note.)

Since I'm not sure what I've just finished reading, I have not posted a rating for this submission.

I will say that, if complete, it deserves no more than (a generous) 2-stars; if not complete, we should be able to tell.

And…..???

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At the very least, the story needed to include a confrontation with Vickie’s husband. Without it, all this thing is —- is a brief outline of a story idea. Nothing more. And not even a hint of originality.

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2 **

Is more coming?

Not bad. Short, but compared to other "750 word" stories. It supplied all the necessary information.

Love it. Very neat.

Odd ending...

That’s it? Where is the rest of the story?

At least the story has a compelling start.

The lack of a chapter number is the clearest indicator this is a one off story, that this is all there is. It's not much.

Another unfinished story.

Great Start ! Terrible Ending !!!! Its like reading book with half the story missing. Couldn't you at least put chapter 1 SORRY because of that I could not be bothered to give any marks

Flat tale and a weak attempt to make a femdom pov btb, so much rushed to be a totally nonsense. No good at all.

These so called 'writers' who think its cute or clever to post unfinished stories have nothing but contempt for the readers and themselves and a complete lack of pride in what they write. FTDS!!!!

So, there are two problems with this story.

First, from the side of younger couple, the cheating wife has zero negative consequences for her betrayal. She'll end up with half or likely more of (likely un-earned) communal assets in the divorce as a "family" in-justice court will reward her for her cheating; and realistically probably married to a rich guy she's cheating with. So basically, she wins and is rewarded for being a shit person and a scumbag, and the cheated-on husband gets to suffer and has zero upside (he doesn't have any kids yet so he won't get fucked over as much as typical male victim of cheating would - but that's not really "upside").

Second, from the side of older couple, this is basically a nothing-burger. He cheated, she sues for divorce and uses legal system which is stacked against males to fuck the cheating husband with a hot poker in the behind, except in this case (unlike cheating victim husbands) this one actually deserves it. But it's 100% realistic, this IS how "family" courts (read: woman-helping courts) work in real life, so there's no fantasy in this story, and no excitement. It feels righteous, but low-impact specifically because of the realism. It's like reading a story about a victim of a car accident suing the guilty driver's insurance for the cost of replacing a totaled car. We all know the stakes, and the outcome, and it belongs on page 14 of local newspaper.

All in all, 3 stars. It's not awful enough to warrant 1 star, but there's no grounds here for anything above 3. Although, if the author tried, it COULD have been a good beginning for a really great larger story *hint* *hint*.

For example, have a conclusion at the very least showing (this is a bit typical in BTB stories but effective), the wife was cheating hoping to marry a rich guy because her husband didn't make enough. Instead, the older cheating victim wins most of the ass's assets in divorce, fires him from family business she owns, and instead hires the younger guy who gets a super great raise, AND meets the ass's daughter - who now hates her cheating sperm donor, but falls in love with the protagonist. And the cheating wife must marry the ass - who's now poor - due to pregnancy (which she miscarries - no need to reward him with more offspring), and he cheats on her constantly and gives her STD instead of money. Don't have to use this idea, but you get my drift :) Show damage to the bad people and upside to the victims of cheating.

What is this?

Another awful fem-pov tale, without beginning and ending.

Another unfinished story.

Believe it or not what sbrooks said.

Another unfinished story.

Dalton, you do not seem to get the message in the L LW genre game; 1) LW is all arm-chair guru's and a rating over 4.0* is HOT, 2) they cannot connect the dots, they cannot imagine revenge it must be explicit to keep them happy, 3) It the story lacks detailed masturbation sex the rating will drop by 1*.

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Other than the actual level of revenge not much more needs to be said. It is obvious both are divorcing - only the shock-n-awe is missing. Her three kids are likely out of the house or close to it with 23yrs going down the drain.

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4**** Hooyah, Salutes...

Actually, it appears that KRD19254 is the one who does not seem to get the message. People look to certain categories/genres for certain things. Nobody wants to read an Isekai story where they end up in a world that is so similar to the one they left that they fit right in and there is nothing new to experience. Likewise, nobody wants to read a LitRPG story where you get to see the changes in their status screen, but not what they did to cause those changes. Who wants to read a Romance story where the only hint of romance is when they end up getting married? What's the point of going to see an action movie if the explosions and gun fights happen off screen where you can't enjoy them?

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The point I'm trying to make is that people read stories to experience the whole story. If they are going to have to make up the good parts themselves anyway, why bother reading the teaser bits you wrote?

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Finally, you should take comments telling you to FTDS as a compliment. It generally means that they liked what you wrote enough that they would like to read more of the story.

FTDS...Finish The Damn Story....rated *1* for now

Finally a realistic story for all the btb crowd. Thanks KS

she needed to talk to him and have the photos and texts analyzed. jumping to conclusions is bad.

Wow!! That's it?? Nice, so far.. But, FTDS...Finish The Damn Story.

where is the ending , lazy end to the story

Very strange; why write and publish half a story?

Wtf.

Succinct.

Another incomplete story from Dalton402....FTDS (Finish the Damn Story) *1*

Where's the rest of it??

FTDS

Wow how unique, woman sees lawyer, plans to punish husband. Don’t see that everyday in RL!

I was extremely disappointed at the abrupt ending -- more like an amputation. The characters were well-drawn and sympathetic, and much more realistic than is typical in lit stories. I was already invested in them and poof!