The Perfect Beginning Ch. 02

She loved the sensation of sexy wickedness that caressed her whole mind and body when they did this. She liked how he gently sucked on her tongue as he gently wiggled against her weight. She felt like she was fucking him with it and it gave her a thrill. She loved how he whimpered and moaned when they kissed, he sounded so weak, needy and vulnerable...

...kind of like a girl...or younger child.

She loved feeling his body "fight" against her, writhing beneath her as he begged her, "Please, no! Please, don't!" And then when she raped his mouth, he'd keep up his wonderfully delicate and physically stimulating "struggles," while gently sucking on her tongue with mindless, submissive need.

She loved, loved, loved how he responded to her, how he was erect almost every moment of their time together, kissing or otherwise. It made her feel so pretty and sexy and powerful.

*

Dear Diary,

The idea of sexy has been on my mind. Like I've been thinking about what it really means to me.

Some time ago I realized that sexy was how you felt when you were turned on and turning on your boy...or girl or whatev. To me, that's what it is.

So like, I see all these pretty women and I'm like, "She's hot," or "She's sexy." I'm just looking at them and that's all. No talking.

And I'm like, "Does she feel sexy?" and very importantly, "Is she turned on looking that way and acting that way?" Thinking No. Like really, how turned on can she be just walking through the mall?

If she's a model, she's just pretty and being told how to behave for $. That's cool, but it is not real.

So all us girls are going around and comparing ourselves to that. Like to get guys, we have to be these super pretty, totally sexy sex-kittens.

So when am I sexy? So totally know I'm sexy when we play. I am feeling special and he's loosing his mind for me. That's obvious and btw, totally wonderful. A lot of times I'll look at myself in the mirror when I'm spanking my boy and I'm totally, big time Special and I see how good I look while I hear him play begging and whimpering and moaning and I'm like "DAMN girl, you are so fucking SEXY!"

But how about when I'm just, you know, walking through the mall. First of all, he wants me like all the time and I know that because of his hard cock-o-meter. It's always pointing north. I'm always glad of this but not like it turns me on...unless I want it to. For me, it can be a choice.

So his big, hard dick just tells me he wants me because of the way I look to him and whatever thoughts he has in his head about being in love with his babysitter.. But it's not like I'm doing much. Just being me.

So, when am I for real sexy?

A lot of times it's when I put on my little girl clothes, my comfies. Everything is super form fitting (but comfy) and there is something kind of pervy (in a good way) about them being little girl clothes. And then I look in the mirror and I realize how good I do look. I feel sexy when I feel my body. I think about how I look and I know I look good and am TOTALLY confident and I think about what it's going to do to him and I start to get turned on. Then I'm sexy.

Then I start using it as power. Like not always. I wear my comfies in the house a lot and just because I am does not mean I feel sexy. Yes, I like knowing in the back of my mind that I'm distracting him. But that does not mean I'm all turned on in my little clothes while I'm doing my homework. Not at all.

It's a choice.

There are times I choose to feel my body, to visualize the way I look and then to put on a little show for him. A LOT of the time he's hard already. That's just the way my good, little boy is around me.

The neat thing is that now, I could be doing anything and he can't get away from seeing me as sexy. I might not be feeling it at all, but it does not matter anymore because I've already done this to him. It's part of the mind raping. All of our "play" and I don't know, just our relationship and how it all works allows me to keep fucking him. Every day I get to "do" him again and again.

He's so beyond raped at this point, but still, I do it to him. "That's right, boy, here it comes. Gonna cum hard and you're gonna swallow all that delicious, magic girl cream. Keep you preggers, little Kimmy!

Way Smug.

Me being sexy is now burned into his brain. And it's very powerful. But just cuz it's already kinda a permanent thing, that does not mean I'm not going to keep filling him. A girl's gotta have some fun.

*

And she was absolutely crazy about spanking the boy.

Spanking was sex for them. She stripped him of his jeans and put him over her knee and then she'd warm his bottom. For sure, there were many times when it got intense and really began to burn his bottom, though Tim never lost his arousal.

Young Michele positively loved scolding and speaking down to the boy in a loving but condescending way. She found the voice and temperament of the loving, but consistently stern, adult, female authority came naturally to her and she sought to exercise and nurture this facet of her personality while with her boy almost on a daily basis. It was important to her that Tim view her through a certain lens.

Tim loved it as much as she did and though it was always so humiliating, it always made him feel so much closer to Michele. It seemed every demeaning scolding, every time she stripped him of his pretense and ego, it brought him closer in love with her. He liked being her little boy and he was desperately in love with his rapist as well as his older, stern babysitter.

Yet Michele was a complex young woman and refused to be pigeon-holed into a fixed position or regard.

Feeling and expressing the emotions and insights of stern, adult authority came naturally to her. Yet so too did the other very real facets of her personality. There were times Tim began his spanking over the knee of a very stern woman who inexplicably transformed into a sadistic little girl, made giddy by virtue of having a grown man over her knee with which to share her cruelty. Then perhaps back to a more mature sensibility.

Michele felt no need to contain what she'd prefer to share with her boy.

Michele was capricious and this kept the boy on his toes.

*

Dearest Me,

The first time I spanked my boy, I had some important realizations.

First of all, I never loved him more than I did at that moment. Having him over my knee, spanking his naughty boy bottom brought us closer to each other than we'd ever been. Feeling the extent of my power over him and and feeling all his vulnerability brought us closer in love than we'd ever been before.

It was our first time. We'd been virgins and then we became one as we discovered something beautiful and special about ourselves and each other. He discovered something beautiful and amazing about me while I was discovering it myself and visa-versa. Like instant love bond!

As it was happening, an amazing term popped into my head. While I spanked him and while all this bonding was taking place, I realized I was "boyfriending him."

Oh my god, considering what it means, I LOVE this term. Basically boyfriending him means that while spanking him and through spanking, we were falling in love. And we fell in love in a way that made him belong to me. We fell in love in a way that put me above him forever and ever.

I mean, how do you come back from being spanked? You can never be un-spanked.

Happy! We fell in love as I formalized our romantic relationship through spanking.

By putting him over my knee, I was knocking down a wall that kept us from being as close. And I christened the relationship through spanking. This was our first launch. If there was one thing that made our relationship official, it was spanking him, it was boyfriending him.

And I like that it was my action. I did it to him. My choice. My action.

His response was natural, of course because he belongs bottom up over my knee. It's what nature intended.

Had I not done this, it simply would not be the relationship I'd want to be in. Simple as that.

A big part of the realization and the love that it helped create was both of us understanding how much power I had over him. It was also the realization of how much of a sacrifice he'd need to make to be with me. No "big-man" ego for my boy, thank you very much. Why you are welcome, me. Smile.

I've taken his independence from him. God, that turns me on! In a most important way, we lost our virginity to one another. This is how I boyfriended him. I boyfriended him by spanking him; he now belongs to me.

The first time is so intense and though we may never feel it exactly the same way, I know we will be trying to recreate that event over and over again forever. And as long as we continue to grow together (as all healthy relationships should) we can continue to discover new highs with one another as I seek to boyfriend him over and over again in the years to come! Fun!

*

It took months to work out, but the path to spanking play was circuitous and could fork into different directions depending on Michele's mood. Every once in a while, she'd let Tim suggest a direction provided he did so gently and with zero expectations.

When it came to spanking play, Michele indulged two very different facets of her personality. One aspect was that of the stern, authoritarian woman.

Love and affection for a significant other was linked to control, compliance and sacrifice. Over time, she found her voice as the school principal, teacher, babysitter or sometimes the next door neighbor. She was caring, strict, and resolute in her mission to guide, correct and sometimes punish her charge. Of course, whether to guide, correct or punish, her boy was spanked over her knee.

These characters were manifestations of her authentic self. Even as a girl, she was this woman.

Michele enjoyed a role depending on her mood and her language and tone altered to fit the part, yet each character sought the same thing: each enjoyed breaking, dominating, teasing, intimidating, humiliating and molesting the boy in Her charge.

Even at her most belittling even when she baptized him in humiliation, it was done for his own good. All of it, no matter how cruel or mean it might have looked to an outsider, was done with love and in the spirit of making him a good boy.

Tim reciprocated in this play as Michele's adolescent ward or victimized neighbor boy.

What they were into was so perverted that each was very reluctant to give voice to their respective role, to "cross the line." Yet over the course of years, they became more accepting of who they were to each other; consequently, they learned to explore their roles more deeply and to provide a true voice to their inner desire to express their authentic selves.

This particular play, with she as the adult and he as the child, was easier to work out as it closely resembled an actual punishment. When she had to genuinely punish Tim out of scene, it was abundantly clear that she was a woman and he was a boy. These roles were foundational to their relationship and were constantly reenforced by Michele.

Over time their sensibilities and appetites developed, Tim learned how to "resist" Michele in the most pleasing way. Michele was exultant when bringing an obstreperous boy to heel. Her jubilance was held in check through self discipline so as to maintain the stern baring she liked to project.

In time, even that changed in that she became comfortable expressing the pleasure of the gratified sadist. She enjoyed nurturing his fear. Her sadistic smile terrified him and she relished this.

While there was a formality to it all, when it was play, it was all fun. Little boy loved his lectures and could not wait to be positioned bottom up over the Lady's knee. Scoldings were ongoing, damningly shameful and perversely loved by each.

The scolding was essential to the process. In this way, she put voice to what she was doing: she was obliterating his independence, subsuming his confidence and providing him with the words and the insight with which to view himself. Even in play, she was shaping his self image.

Propelled by endless passion, she worked tirelessly toward this goal and continuous pleasure was her reward.

Though challenging, he loved it and without consideration, internalized all her messaging and came to see himself as her possession, her sexy, little boy.

As this process played out, their games became more complex and drawn out and sometimes they would spend an entire evening playing out their psycho drama that each found incredibly satisfying.

*

"As long as you live in this house, I have complete control of you. Your mother gave this to me and I will care for you as I see fit. Do you understand me, young man?"

"My mother never treated me this way," he protested. "You think I'm a maid or something!"

"Watch your tone, little boy."

"I'm not a boy! I'm fifteen!"

"You think that just because you are a teenager that you don't need to obey me?" she smiled revealing just how entertaining his silly-headed notion was to her.

She was so exasperating. How could she not see he was a young man?

And that bitchy smile! Bitch!

"Listen, I just think..."

"'Listen'? You want me to listen to you! Goodness gracious, why I have a mind to put you over my knee and spank you right this instant. You naughty boy!"

He was instantly frightened of her and felt himself regress further even while he protested. "You can't! I'm too big for a spanking! My mother doesn't even spank me!"

She smiled on calmly, gamely, "Well now, I think that's the problem. Your dear mother has been much too lenient with you.

"You are living in my house now. Your mother has been called away for work and nobody knows how long she'll be gone. It could be months. It could be years. Until then, you will do as you are told. You will obey me.

"Here and now, I will explain to you for the last time why I require you to clean our home sweet home. I'm teaching you your place in the world. Soon you will be graduating school and what would a boy like you do?"

"I'll...I'll get a job."

"We both know that on minimum wage, you won't be able to make ends meet. You will need the protection and care of a woman and you know it."

He did know it and he looked down in shame. He wanted to fight as it all seemed so unfair.

"She needs to see you as the boy who stands out. You need to make yourself into the boy she'd want to keep.

"Now I think we'll just start you off with a little attitude adjustment."

"No, Ms. Michele, please... I'm too big!"

He stood motionlessly as she began to happily undo his pants.

"We'll see about that won't we? In just a moment, we'll see just how big you are." Lowering his pants she took a long look at his erection which poked through his underwear.

"Well, well, well now, little boy, it seems your not so very big after all." More happy smiles. "But your little penis is very excited. Is your little penis in love with my knee?" She laughed. "You are a bad, little boy, aren't you?"

"I don't...I'm not..."

She slapped him smartly across the face and in response, he almost shot his load across the room.

With her wagging finger in his face, "Who's my bad, perverted, little boy?"

"I...I am."

This put her back in a good mood and she smiled brightly. "Yes you are." She slapped him again, happily this time.

With a joyous smile, "What do naughty, little boys get?"

Breathlessly, "Spank...spankings." He still could not believe he was in the position he was in. He'd been living what he thought was a normal life until he went to live with his neighbor and his mother's dearest friend. Now he was starting to question everything he thought he knew about the world and what he thought he knew about himself. Is this how it's going to be? Is she really helping me?

"Let's get you right over my knee for that spanking now. I'm going to make you my good boy. This is my duty and I take it very seriously." She draped him over her knee and he experienced pleasure and pain, love and fear and desperate desire.

"Your mother should have been doing this to you all along, shouldn't she have?"

"Yes, Ms. Michele."

"Well then...?"

"Thank you, Ms. Michele."

spank spank spank

"Thank you for making me a good boy."

Fully embracing the physical and spiritual sensation, he let down all his barriers as he waggled his bottom, needing her heat more than anything in the world. He was desperate for her love and approval.

"Perhaps when your mother does come home, whenever that happens to be, I'll speak to her about allowing me to continue spanking you whenever you get out of line. You clearly need a disciplinarian in your life.

spank spank spank spank spank spank

"Would you like that, boy?"

spank spank spank spank spank spank

"Oh yes, Ms. Michele, please, please spank my bottom! Please, always be my disciplinarian! Oh, yes! Oh my god, yes!"

spank spank spank spank spank spank

Michele knew how to keep her boy right on the edge of cuming just from a spanking. Would it be fun to push him over the edge?

Maybe.

spank spank spank spank spank spank

"And whom will you always obey?"

spank spank spank spank spank spank

"You, Ms. Michele, you. Always you. Always and forever."

spank spank spank spank spank ...

*

The second scene they both loved mirrored some of the conditions of their actual coupling. In this play, Michele played a girl who, through sexual teasing, force of will and perhaps blackmail, gained mastery over a grown man.

Each rushed with the opportunity to reenact Michele's ascendance at Tim's expense.

She thrilled at realizing her power while subjecting a grownup to humiliation, juvenile discipline and eventual sexual subjugation.

In this play, he was usually her babysitter, teacher or neighbor.

And this was not play. Not really. These roles were an expression of their authentic selves in relation to one another.

Dear diary,

Been thinking a lot about how I like to play with my boy (spanking...yay!) and an idea has been creeping around the edges. At first I could not see it clearly but now I do.

It has to do with ideas I've been discussing with Mom about church. Moms is one smart cookie and really pays attention to what she's doing and how she lives her life. I'm trying to be like her.

So one day I was talking to her about how I learned about how Native Americans performed a ceremony and she started comparing it to what we do at church.

She explained the importance of ceremony. She said ceremonies help us create our cultures, establish our values and find our place in the world. Spanking has become a very important and beautiful ceremony in our relationship. Yay for spanking...as long as I'm the one doing it! Smiles!

*

Another dimension to the play was Tim's level of resistance. It was Michele who set the tone which subtly suggested how the spanking would play out and Tim would react accordingly.

One mood called for instant, meek compliance. This was often the easiest course for the boy. Tim allowed himself to be as mentally and physically pliant, obedient and eventually servile as Michele expected him to be. He was incredibly gentle in action and response and allowed Michele to utterly commandeer his mind and body. This was Tim at his most extreme Kimberly.

When she wanted total compliance, she assumed a tone and manner of an imperious babysitter or a cross mother. A subtle touch of anger or irritation stretched the front edge of her tone and it was usually enough to convey an appropriate response.

This was one outcome of spanking that Michele took for granted. She had no idea how much more self centered and insensitive to others most men in a relationship actually were. Tim was all she'd ever had.