- Romance
- The Reckoning
- Page 6
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Click hereThe man shakes his head slowly, "No, of course not."
He turns and gestures for Natasha and Mischka to join them, the woman looks up from the grave, her face turning towards the girls. He hears her gasp, "Natasha!"
The woman stands slowly, then moves next to her husband, making place at the grave. Natasha and Mischka join them, Natasha's voice sounds softly, "Hello." Then she kneels before Dusek's grave, holding Mischka's hand, and carefully places her red rose on top of the grave. Mischka follows suit, putting down her little bouquet next to the rose. Natasha turns to Mischka, tears running down her face. She hugs her tightly. "Oh Mischka, I miss your papochka so much."
The man's eyes widen, and he says something in Slovak. His wife shudders, then whimpers, her hands moving up, covering her mouth. Natasha glances up at them, then looks back at Mischka, letting go of her, "These are your grandparents, Mischka." The older woman's hands drop, and Mischka freezes for a moment. "Why don't you go and say hello," Natasha says softly. Mischka takes a faltering step towards the woman, who reacts by extending her arms towards her.
Mischka glances up at him "It's okay pumpkin," he says. Mischka looks at the woman again, then she runs up to her, into her eager arms. Dusek's mother drops down on her knees, hugging her grandchild, crying softly. The man closes on Mischka, his eyes are wet, and he extends his hand, caressing the top of her head. Natasha gets up, and stands beside Michael.
The man looks up at them, "Dusek, he was our only child. We thought.., we had nothing left." He takes a step towards them, "I'm so sorry Natasha; it was wrong what we did, but we only realized after you and Dusek had left." He hesitates, "Have you contacted your parents yet?" Natasha slowly shakes her head, the man swallows, "They came to us, shortly after the two of you ran away. They stayed in touch, and after Dusek was brought back... They're worried sick Natasha. Your mother..., she thinks you died too, she went to pieces at Dusek's funeral."
Natasha swallows, "They're not angry with me anymore?"
He gestures at Mischka, "You're a mother yourself now. Would you be?"
Michael feels her lean into him; she looks up at him, "I need to go home to my parents now, I have to see them."
He nods, hugs her, and then kisses her softly, "I know, don't worry, It's all going to be okay Natasha."
*** The End ***
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- COMMENTS
DwarfLord50about 2 months agoI very much enjoyed this series. I’ve always liked the “found family” type stories where broken pieces come together to make a whole family. I thought bringing Dusek’s parents in at the end was a nice touch. Well done.
Banbeck5 months agoAuthorHi Anonymous; Thanks for the comment, it's appreciated.
You aren't the first one who thinks the relationship between Tom and Nicky is too forced.
It really isn't, it's just not 'painted out' much in the story, but to many readers that's not clear enough apparently, which is why I'm planning to give that aspect of the story a little more attention should I rewrite it (I intend to, but I don't know when I'll have the time for it).
The abuse thing is a matter of personal taste, or tolerance, I think, it just is what it is.
Regarding the present tense used; I became aware readers don't like this after publishing the Samaritan (which was the first story I ever published).
It made me decide to change my writing style for future stories, but I didn't want to change style mid-story, which is why the other chapters in this series are written in present tense too.
This is also something I'll change in a rewrite though.
I have one other published story that's written in present tense; Battlestar, a story I wrote before I published "The Samaritan".
All my more recently published work isn't written in present tense anymore.
Anonymous5 months agoGreat story with some plausible acrion, although the abuse of Nicky is a bit thick and the relationship between her and Tom appears to be forced. It is a pity you write in the present, as this somehow does not work for a story tha obviously in the past. Consider changing the tense when you rewrite the stories.
Banbeck6 months agoAuthorHi nthusiastic. The reason this isn't a series is that it originally wasn't meant to be, which is why I made sure the intro-info explained this story was the last part of a series.
Regarding the 'nits', I get the "staffing" versus "manning" point, but I don't get the "masts" one (I did write this story some time ago...) Anyway, I'm rather prone to using the wrong words now and then, which is mainly due to English not being my first language.
This series was the first time I published something, and I already decided months ago that it's in need of a rewrite, in which case all four parts will get bundled into a single story. The reason it hasn't happened yet is that I'm too busy with other stories, like Casus Belli.
And don't worry, you're still far away from 'more commentary than I desired' ;)
Thanks for commenting nthusiastic, it's appreciated :)
