All Comments on 'The Sapphire of Seduction Ch. 03'

your chapters are not linked properly

sometimes i takes a minute after publishing, hopefully it all falls into place soon

While the story is good you need to make the chapters at least between 2 to 4 pages, while being more descriptive. With how short every chapter is throughout the whole thing, its why people won't invest themselves in your story. This is my honest opinion, because this is how I feel after reading the 2nd chapter.

I'm going to echo what the previous Anon noted, that your chapters are too short. Realistically the end of this chapter could have been the end of chapter 1, giving the reader a good introduction to the story and leaving off on the premise that Magic will be explained in the next chapter. Instead what this chapter depicts is the time between someone ringing a doorbell and that person travelling upstairs and having a short conversation. It would probably all have happened in about 5 minutes.

Regardless of what each person thinks makes up what a 'chapter' should be, you're offering up each chapter as a serial work that should stand on it's own.