The Sauna

We had heard about sauna culture, but we had never experienced it. Jasmine and I live in a country that has a fairly conservative lifestyle, for the most part. There are exceptions, but outside of a couple of barely-known unorganised beaches, you'd be hard pressed to find a place where women go topless in public, let alone a place where both sexes mingle in the buff.

When Jasmine signed up for a semester abroad in Estonia, we started learning about the culture. Apparently a major thing in Estonia, as in several other Nordic countries, is the sauna. We learned that throughout the long, dark, cold winter, many Estonians visit saunas regularly, for health, for enjoyment, and as a social activity.

Jasmine was going to be away from home for almost five months -- by far the longest we'd been apart in the 11 years since we got married. I had to stay home as my job wasn't so flexible, and someone needed to take care of the cat. But we decided that if I visited her several times while she was gone, it would work out fine. And it did. In late August, we first got to Tartu to get her set up and oriented before the semester started. It's a cute medium-sized university town -- very walkable and pretty. I spent four days with her and then flew home.

It was a bit weird being apart, but we soon got into a comfortable rhythm, with a video chat for an hour every night, and brief chit chat throughout the day. It helps when the time zones aren't too far off. Jasmine told me about exploring the neighbourhood and the campus, new friends. She was having a great time. A few days in, she got invited, along with some fellow students, to one of the instructors' place for a hang out and sauna event. Always a fan of new and different experiences, especially culturally significant ones, Jasmine was excited. In fact we both were, as I imagined the impending scene. Several shy nude people, sweating it out together in a way they never had before.

The night after the sauna event, I asked eagerly how it went. She and three other new students from various countries showed up at the instructor's house. They prepared and ate some food together, and then the instructor explained the sauna customs. Normally Estonians would go fully nude and all together, but she was sensitive enough to realise that some people wouldn't be comfortable with that, so instead they took turns - first the women, and then the men. Jasmine said it was amazing. A little bit weird at first to get naked with this woman who was her university instructor, but it wasn't sexual or anything, so it soon became comfortable. They spent some time sweating it out in the sauna, then briefly dipped in the cold pond outside, and then back into the sauna. The male students stayed far away and waited their turn. One other student wasn't comfortable getting nude even in a same-sex setting, and wore a swimsuit. Jasmine figured if you're going to do it, do it right, so she went nude and had a blast. She wanted to go to a sauna again soon. Meanwhile I checked the calendar eagerly. Sadly it would be several weeks until I visited her again.

I returned to Estonia in late September and spent a few weeks there, but we got no sauna invitations. Jasmine did visit a public sauna in the city, but it wasn't what I was looking for. Public saunas in Estonia tend to be gender-segregated, and I had no particular desire to be nude alone with a bunch of men. It wouldn't be until December that I finally got the experience.

As Christmas neared, Jasmine was asking in online groups about local family gatherings. We aren't Christian, and live in a place where few people celebrate Christmas. She had never had a true family Christmas experience. She got one invitation, not for Christmas, but for a New Years event. We had no idea what to expect.

It would be a dinner, but we were welcome to show up early and help prep the food. As we would be driving the rental car into an unfamiliar back-country area, where the last stretch of the road would be unpaved, we decided getting there before dark was the smart thing to do. It's a good thing we did, because the back roads were very confusing, but eventually we pulled up to this little cottage in the forest, beside a muddy creek in the middle of nowhere. The place was gorgeous and quiet. Almost no other buildings visible, no traffic on the road. Just this cute little wooden cottage, with an outhouse and a few scattered sheds. Viivi greeted us and led us inside where we met her partner Riho and another friend. They were busy peeling and chopping potatoes, and we soon got to work as well.

We did the awkward get to know you thing: what's your name, where are you from, what do you do, etc. etc. over the food prep. Everyone was friendly, but maybe a little shy. Estonians aren't the most outgoing people when it comes to strangers. Eventually another couple showed up: Katriin and Oliver, and they joined in the food prep as well. Only, for some unexplained reason, Katriin was wearing a fuzzy pink onesie that she soon unzipped and pulled off her shoulders. I don't think she was too hot. I mean temperature-wise. Although it was probably somewhere around -5°C outside, in the cottage it was a comfortable temperature, but not overly warm. Suffice it to say that I was surprised to be presented with Katriin (whom I had just met) now chopping vegetables across from me and chatting, fully topless, as if it was nothing. I tried not to stare at her slight figure and small but nicely rounded breasts, and kept my focus on not dropping the potatoes, hoping Jasmine (who was right beside me) didn't notice me noticing her.

Over the next hour or so, the food came together and we got to know each other while the rest of the guests arrived. There were maybe 20 people total, all seemingly in their 20s and 30s. We were the only ones who didn't speak Estonian, but everybody had excellent English, and they were happy to include us and translate for us.

Then the booze started to flow and the silliness began. Viivi had a wide range of costumes in the cottage. We found a gorgeous sequined tank top for Jasmine and a gigantic afro wig for me. I handed my iPad to someone to get photos of us, and shocked Jasmine by grabbing her breast for one of the photos. The photographer took more photos than we realised, including several where Katriin photo-bombed us, grabbing and displaying her breasts in playfully provocative poses.

We sat and ate the feast we had prepared: a gigantic stew, open faced sandwiches and other scrumptious delights. Every hour, Riho announced that it was now New Years in another country, and shots were downed. After the food was cleaned up, Riho announced that it was time for the sauna. Instantly, without hesitation, people began to strip all around us. Men, women, fat, thin, gay, straight. Just a bunch of good friends, bending over in all directions, getting completely naked together in a well-lit room like it was nothing. I had never seen such a thing, but I was ready. I tried not to make it obvious that I was checking the women out, and comparing myself to the men. Jasmine and I stripped down too. Neither of us are model material, but we look pretty good, I think. I'm a slightly dark, hairy thin guy. I look like a nerd because I am a nerd. Jasmine would like to be thinner (wouldn't all women?), but she's got a great ass, lovely hand-sized breasts, and a gorgeous quirky smile. We started to make our way to the door when one woman, Raili stared at me with a look of wonder.

"Oh! You're circumcised! I've never seen one," she said, without any pretence. I quickly realised that not only was I the only circumcised man in the room, I was one of very few in the entire country. Where I live, almost everyone is circumcised, but in much of Europe it is very rare.

"Yes," I said. Trying not to think too much about this pretty woman checking out my package.

"Do you mind? Can I ... look?" Raili said with a bit of hesitation.

"Sure," I said and she came closer. Much closer, leaning in to get a good view of my cock. She was pretty but not my type. Way too much make-up for my taste. And for some reason she was the only one not getting naked. I don't know if it was the cool arctic breeze from the door or the slight embarrassment of the moment, but I was painfully aware that I was not giving her much to look at. Not quite like a frightened turtle, but flaccid and small. I also regretted that I hadn't groomed my curly dark hair in a while. None of this seemed to bother Raili, who was on a fascinating scientific expedition. But I guess she hadn't seen enough because...

"Can I touch it?" she asked. She was crouched right in front of me.

Jasmine was standing right beside me, nude and unperturbed. I looked towards her, blushing full red. "Ummmm. Jasmine are you ok with this?" I asked.

We had never been involved in anything remotely like this situation before, nor had we expected to be. We were about as vanilla as they come. "It's your body," my spouse responded without missing a beat. I wondered where this was going, but wasn't about to miss out.

"Ok," I responded hesitantly. "If Jasmine's ok with it, I'm ok."

Raili gently took my penis in her hands, and turned it in different directions, getting a good look at all angles. At this point I was relieved that I wasn't getting erect. I enjoyed the sensation and the experience, but it was clear that neither Raili nor Jasmine thought there was anything remotely sexual going on, and I didn't want either of them getting a different impression. That could have ended badly.

"Thanks," Raili said, and stood up.

"Aren't you coming to the sauna?" I asked.

"I can't this time," she said. Declining to explain otherwise.

Soon Jasmine and I were outside in the frozen subarctic winter night, gingerly making our way to the sauna. I hadn't been fully nude outdoors since the one time I went skinny-dipping with friends on a camping trip almost 20 years earlier. As far as I knew, Jasmine never had.

We got into the sauna, a home-made shed big enough for maybe ten people at a time, with benches along the two sides. It was pretty dark and the steam fogged up my glasses, so I couldn't see much. We made our way to one of the benches and I reached out to pull myself up, inadvertently putting my hand on one of the women. I still don't know who it was, or what body part. We sat naked in the sauna, surrounded by our new friends, sweating and enjoying the intense, wet heat. At one point, Feliks, a big strong guy with a serious beard offered to whack us with birch branches, which is part of the tradition. I accepted. People made room and I lay face down on the wooden bench, while Feliks whipped me. It wasn't at all painful. Kind of pleasant like a slightly rough massage.

When the heat got too intense, we stepped out for a bit, back into the frozen night. We cooled off quickly and went back in for more sauna. After a few rounds of this, everybody hosed down with the outside showers, dried off, and made our way back into the main building. We all got dressed in the one room. There were boobs, butts, vulvas and penises everywhere. For the Estonians, this was perfectly natural, but for me it was all new and exciting.

Once we dressed, there were two more special events planned for the night. Feliks led us all outside again, to see the spectacular fire show he had prepared. It was a combination of small fireworks, fire breathing, fire juggling, and some small structures he had built for the purpose of burning.

Then we piled back into the cabin for the gift exchange, run by Raili. Now it became slightly clear why she skipped the sauna. She had applied some serious make-up, and changed into a sultry black getup complete with fishnet stockings. Apparently she's a semi-professional burlesque performer.

Katriin was topless again for some reason. This might be a thing with her. Anyway, Katriin decided to be our interpreter, and spent the next 20 minutes standing right beside me, leaning in close to translate what people were saying. Their tradition was that everyone brings a cheap, silly, or repurposed small gift, and they each get one randomly, with names pulled out of a hat. Raili would pull the names and distribute the gift, but each time, in order to receive the gift, the recipient was supposed to ask Raili for it, and offer her something for the gift. Some people said something a little flirtatious, or asked her if they could remove an article of her clothing, some got spankings, and the sort. Oliver did a bit of a lap dance for her, culminating in him showing her the full monty. Raili gradually lost bits and pieces of clothes, but by the end she was still wearing her bra and panties. Unfortunately, Jasmine and I didn't have gifts to contribute, so we were mere observers.

By this point it was around 1am. We hadn't planned to stay the night, and although most people did plan to sleep there, we hadn't brought bedding. We also thought we wouldn't get the best sleep if we stayed, and there was an hour drive ahead for us and another two hours to drive the next day. So we elected to leave.

Unfortunately it was very hard to see which way to go in the dark. The dirt path had partially frozen over, and we took a wrong turn between the trees and soon got stuck in the mud. Riho made a valiant effort to get us out, including bringing out some wooden planks to place strategically at several points, and instructing me on what seemed like a 10 point turn. By the time we got out of there it must have been 2am. Still, I managed to drive us back to Jasmine's apartment.

Jasmine was ready to go straight to sleep. But with all that had happened, I had something else in mind. Thankfully, she was very accommodating.