All Comments on 'The Self Employed Porn Star Ch. 01'

We need more chapters!!! Great start to a possible series. Hot!!!

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Just an excellent concept and your LA experiences remind me of a good friend in a similar situation. I can only hope he has a similar opportunity…

The story has been out for awhile, so I'm rather late to the party in making comments. Let me first say that I like what's here and will read more. However, nothing's above improvement.

What bothers me in this tale is the pacing. The race to sex is too fast. We live in an age in which diseases and predators create an often-deserved skepticism about the strangers we meet. In this case, that skepticism provides an opportunity for character development that would make both people "more real" and attractive to the reader.

By this I mean the following: Let's have them adjourn to a nearby coffeeshop. After all, alcohol impairs the male equipment, right? Let them banter, talk a bit about themselves in a somewhat humorous and self-deprecating way (sass and sarcasm), find some common ground and a comfort level, sober up a bit, and then head to his place.

A story is after all about the journey, not the destination. Make the journey fun.