The Single Mothers Club Ch. 03

"Are you sure this is feeling good for you?" I asked her again.

Ashley was breathing hard, her face buried in the bedsheets. She just groaned and started shoving her ass towards me.

But by this time my cock had lost all its vigor. I slid my limp dick out of Ashley's asshole and backed up.

"I'm... I'm sorry Ashley. I'm just not used to that. I... I think I got freaked out when it hurt you."

Ashley gave a long sigh and collapsed onto her side. I slid beside her and spooned her again. This time her body was rigid, not fitting well against mine.

"It's okay, Ansel. I... I still love you. I just wanted to try it. We can think of something else."

"Maybe we can try again later?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Let's close our eyes for a bit. I don't think either of us got much sleep last night."

"Okay," I replied.

We lay there for a long time. Eventually Ashley's breathing slowed, and she slept in my arms. I couldn't manage to close my eyes without hearing Ashley's gasp of pain.

...

The window curtains brightened with the morning. Ashley awoke after some time, and got up without a word to take a shower. I lay in bed and listened to the water run. Ashley's phone rang when she was in the shower, and after she got out I could hear her talking on it, using her business voice.

She walked past my open door in her bathrobe, still on the phone. I heard her getting out some kitchenware to make breakfast.

By the time I emerged, Ashley had made some oatmeal and was serving up two bowls. She wasn't on the phone, but she had a distant look, and was having trouble meeting my eyes.

"Ashley," I said. "I really do want to try again."

Ashley gave me a sad smile.

"That was my work," she said, gesturing towards her phone. "They asked if I could do an emergency trip out to Montana. One of my coworkers got sick and needs someone to fill in at a conference for the week."

"Oh," I replied, my heart dropping. "Are you... are you going to go?"

"I said yes."

"When are you leaving?"

"Today."

Ashley turned her face towards the kitchen window. Her shoulders shook as she held off tears.

"Ansel," she said. Her back was still to me. "I think... I think I need some time to figure all this out. Maybe... maybe we shouldn't talk this week."

"Are you sure?" I asked. My skin suddenly felt clammy. I couldn't imagine eating a bite of oatmeal. It would congeal in my throat, choke me. It would sit in my stomach like a burned brick.

Ashley started to cry. "And... and during the week..." she said, sniffling, "maybe we shouldn't think of ourselves... as lovers..."

"Oh."

"It's just... it's just too much for me right now. I'm still grieving your father. And I'm also falling in love with you. And I don't know if that's right. I need to do something else for a while, think about something else, and let my heart settle."

"What about when you come back?"

Ashley turned. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her face tragic and beautiful.

"I don't know, Ansel," she said. "That's the truth of it. I just don't know."

We stood there, in the kitchen, silent in our grief.

...

Ashley left later that day. I hugged her at the door, but we did not kiss. The words "I love you" sat heavily in my mouth, but I did not let them escape my lips. The words "Don't leave" rebelled against the cage of my ribs, but I kept them locked away.

From the window, I watched Ashley walk towards the BART, which would take her to the airport.

The apartment was empty, and cold.

I wandered, listlessly, from room to room. I imagined Ashley and my step-father. There they were, fucking against the drawers, the mantel, the kitchen counter. I saw the ghost of my father bending Ashley over the armchair. I saw him spreading her legs on the coffee table. Their moans echoing from the bathroom, the closet.

I found myself in the kitchen. How often had Ashley been washing dishes, cleaning the counters, restocking the fridge, only for my father to demand she lift up her dress and pull down her panties? How often had she climaxed on all fours on the white tiles of the kitchen floor?

On the refrigerator was the calendar for the month. I had appointments this week with the Single Mothers Club. Babysitting, cleaning, gardening... at least I would stay busy. It would help the week pass quickly.

And the days did blend together. I forced myself to focus on my work, doing my best to help Ashley's friends. I tried not to think of spooning Ashley on the couch as I straightened up Belinda's living room. I tried to forget Ashley's love as I helped Cindy's children with their homework. On Wednesday, as I loaded Jasmine's laundry into an industrial washer at the laundromat, I decided to follow Lupe and Erin's advice and try online dating.

I had a few matches lined up. There was a software engineer who liked to windsurf. There was a professional bicyclist with legs of steel. And then there was Valerie.

I blushed immediately as I saw her face pop up on the screen. I remembered her, and her camera, surprising Ashley and I amongst the trees.

I decided to reach out. Thinking through various opening lines, I finally asked her if any of her photographs were being shown in galleries.

Valiere got back to me pretty quickly. She was between showings, but working on a new portfolio. She sent me a few snapshots of nature scenes around the city. As Jasmine's laundry swirled and burbled, we texted back and forth. I felt my loneliness ease.

By the time I sat down for dinner, Valerie and I had been chatting for hours. There were long silences as she fed her baby, or changed her diaper. But during our flurries of texts, I found myself laughing and smiling. Valerie was funny! Her texts were filled with silly emojis and ironic memes. We traded stories from college, and strange things we'd seen around the city.

I was washing dishes when Valerie sent me a message I'd been dreading.

'So what's with you and Ashley? You seem really close.'

I hesitated for a while, then sent back: 'She's still grieving my dad. I'm just helping out.'

'Is that all?'

'What do you mean?'

I saw a picture was loading. I figured it was another silly meme.

Insead, it was a photograph, taken through the redwood trees. I saw myself, leaning back against a tower of soft red bark. Ashley was on her knees in front of me. My fingers were in her hair, guiding her mouth onto my cock.

My stomach dropped.

'Why are you showing me this?' I typed furiously.

My phone showed that Valerie was replying, but it took some time. I stared furiously at the three little dots, willing them to turn to text.

'Come over and we can talk about it.'

Valerie sent me her address. I immediately requested a car on my phone.

...

Valerie lived in the middle of the suburban sprawl that marches endlessly south of downtown San Francisco. Her apartment was on the third floor, up a tight spiral of stairs. I rang the buzzer at the gate, and Valerie's voice came through the static.

"I'm going to ring you in, but I'm feeding my baby so I'll be in the back. Help yourself to a beer in the fridge."

The gate buzzed, and I let myself through. I climbed the stairs, my heart thudding, and let myself through her door.

Valerie's apartment was small and crowded. There was a cracked flatscreen jammed in one corner in front of a sagging couch. The kitchen was huddled in another corner, a small fridge and sink next to an ancient oven. Inside the fridge were bottles of breast milk, a leftover box of pizza, and a dozen cheap cans of beer. I grabbed one and settled angrily on a metal folding chair next to a cardtable that obviously served as the dining table.

I could hear Valerie's voice in the back, soothing her baby. After a while, things got quiet, and when I was almost done with my beer Valerie came out.

She was pulling closed a silken kimono decorated with a scene of Godzilla stomping on San Francisco. She tied it off, and walked over to the fridge.

"My breasts are killing me," she said. She took a beer out from the fridge and, rather than opening it, pressed it against her breasts. "God my baby really sucks on my nipples hard."

I felt myself blushing. Valerie's short blonde hair was a little messy, and she wasn't wearing makeup. Still, she was frighteningly beautiful, her ruddy skin and sharp nose reminding me of some Renaissance portrait.

"So," Valerie said, standing and shifting her hips a bit with the cold beer still pressed against her nipple. "You and your step-mom are pretty close."

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, anger sneaking into my voice. "Are you trying to blackmail me?"

"Relax, relax," Valerie said. She passed me the beer. "Have another drink. I'll name my price when I'm ready."

Valerie stretched her neck and rolled her shoulders. "God, it's tough to be a single mother these days. You know my parents refuse to come down from Santa Rosa and help? They say the bridge toll is too high!"

Valerie reached her hands high above her head, stretching. I couldn't help but admire her body, her narrow waist and small breasts accentuated by the kimono. Suddenly Valerie's eyes were on mine, and I could tell she'd seen me admiring her body. She gave me a feline smile.

"I am so stiff after carrying that little grub all day. How about a massage?"

Valerie walked over and sat on the carpet in front of the couch. When I didn't move from my chair, she added, "You don't want that picture to get out, right?"

I gave out an angry sigh, and made my way to the couch. I sat down, and Valerie settled back between my knees. She wriggled her kimono down so that her shoulders were exposed. With a thin finger, she pointed to a few tender spots. "Don't be afraid to go deep," she said.

I started to rub at Valerie's shoulders with my fingers and thumbs. She sighed appreciatively and relaxed. Her kimono slipped down a little further, and I couldn't help but see her breasts, swollen in her maternity bra.

"Mm, that feels really nice. Keep going. You wouldn't believe what happened today. I saw my baby's father at the park when we were on our walk. And he was with a girl, she must have been barely 18! He's a total creep, I'm glad he split when I told him I was pregnant."

Valerie shifted, and I moved my hands accordingly, seeking out the tense muscles around her neck. She played with the hem of her kimono as she talked, then pulled out a phone.

"Why don't we listen to some music? I've really been enjoying this one mix."

The Talking Heads suddenly started playing on a wireless speaker. Valerie hummed and sang along as I massaged her.

Suddenly she grabbed my hands in her own, ducked beneath my arms, and stood. She pulled me to my feet.

"Screw massage, let's dance!" she cried out.

Vallerie started swaying her hips and shoulders. She slid her fingers through mine, and tugged me around the living room.

"Come on Ansel, you're so stiff," she teased. "Loosen up and dance with me!"

As the music pumped, and Valerie wriggled and leapt and twirled, I felt myself loosening up. I started to sway and step to the rhythm. Valerie laughed and encouraged me. I twirled her beneath my arm. She pretended to hook me on a fishing line, and I leapt towards her. Valerie guffawed, and ducked behind me. When I turned, she pressed her back to me, grinding against me. My hands drifted towards her hips, and suddenly there we were, our bodies together, the thin fabric of her kimono hiding nothing from my touch.

The song ended, and Valerie turned towards me. Her hair was wild, her face flushed. Her kimono had come partially undone. I could see her maternity bra, and a lacy arch of her panties rising above her pajama bottoms.

Valerie bit her lip and untied her kimono. She let it drift open. She had a muscular little body, with smooth buttery skin. There was a tattoo of a bluebird on her ribs. She stepped even closer to me.

"Are you going to make a move, or what?" she asked. Her eyes sparkled, and my cock was responding, swelling against my jeans.

Suddenly there was a shrill cry from the back of the apartment. Valerie's baby had awoken.

"Shit!" she said. "I'll be right back."

Without tying up her kimono, Valerie sprinted off towards her crying child.

I took some deep breaths and tried to calm myself. Who was this girl, who one minute was blackmailing me, the next dancing and flirting?

I took some steps around the small apartment to distract myself. Valerie's furniture all seemed heavily used, with stains and rips or peeling particle board. In the kitchenette, the dishes were a mishmash of thrift store miscellany. In fact, the only item of much worth was a very expensive laptop on the kitchen counter, topped by a fancy webcam and ring light.

I heard Valerie walking out from the bedroom. She'd tied up her kimono, and looked a little frazzled. Her baby was still whimpering from the back of the apartment, but had mostly quieted.

"Sorry about that," Valerie said. "You want another beer?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Honestly I only keep them to help with my sore nipples and to give to guests, when I have any. I swear I'm not a bad mom!"

"I don't think you're a bad mom," I said.

Valerie smiled widely. She looked at me for a while, then blushed.

"I'm... sorry about the picture. I don't know what I was thinking. I honestly took the picture by accident, and I normally wouldn't do something like that."

"Why did you send it to me?" I asked.

"This is going to sound silly," Valerie replied, "but I was just really lonely. I did it so that you'd come over."

I laughed. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, I swear. I honestly don't care if your step-mom is giving you blowjobs or whatever. It's none of my fucking business. But I also think you're kind of cute and funny and I really liked talking with you online. I don't know, I've got mommy brain or something. Maybe I thought it would be like a joke?"

"It really wasn't very funny."

"I know, I know. But we had a nice time, right?"

I smiled and nodded.

"Anyways, I don't think my baby's going to get back to sleep without me, so you should probably head out. But um..." Valerie looked down, blushing. "Maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"I, uh... I think I'd like that," I admitted.

Valerie smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Awesome."

Her baby started to scream again, and she called out, "Be right there, sweet beans!" She waved me goodbye and vanished into the back of the apartment.

I let myself out the door.

...

I was in the middle of fixing Clara's sink the next day, when I got a message from Valerie.

'I know you probably hate me,' she wrote. 'But I could really use some help.'

She'd sent a picture of a number of large boxes delivered at the foot of her narrow, winding stairs.

'No way I can lift these up myself,' she added.

'Be there in an hour,' I wrote back.

When I arrived at Valerie's, I found her sitting on one of the boxes, drinking a mug of coffee. She handed me one, saying, "It's gone a bit cold, sorry."

Valerie was wearing a striped long-sleeved shirt under white suspenders, and chunky work boots. Her short blonde hair flitted in the breeze.

"What are all these?" I asked.

"I got some furniture delivered from IKEA, but the asshole delivery guy wouldn't carry any of it up the stairs. My girl's with Samantha, and I was planning on putting it all together today. But there's no way I'll get it done in time now."

I surveyed the collection of boxes. It looked like she was replacing a lot of her old, moldering furniture.

"I can help," I said.

"Are you sure?" Valerie asked. "I haven't been very kind to you."

I shrugged. "I actually kind of like putting together IKEA furniture. It's like Legos for adults."

Valerie laughed. "I can't wait to get my girl Legos. Honestly I just miss putting together the sets."

I couldn't help but smile. Valerie was so childish in her overalls and big boots. And yet there was a sexiness to her innocence.

"Well, let's get to it," I said.

Together we carried the boxes up to her apartment. It was tough work, navigating the narrow staircase and trying my best not to drop a heavy package on my foot. By the time we'd finished, it was late afternoon.

Valerie handed me a box-cutter.

"Why don't you start opening the packages? I need to change my shirt, I'm soaked through!"

She vanished into her bedroom. I started carefully cutting open the boxes, revealing sheets of laminated wood, particle board, and many, many bags of screws. I carefully placed each set of directions on top of the pile of furniture parts.

There was one box that didn't match the others, a little larger than a shoebox. I brought it over to the folding table and cut it open. Inside was a bunch of inflated packing bags. Curious, I moved them aside and found an enormous dildo. It was nearly the size of my forearm, thick as a beer can, and the color of an army man. Thick, branching veins ran along the shaft beneath a bulbous, angry-looking head. Beneath the swollen green balls was a large suction cup.

"What's in there?" Valerie asked, walking out of her bedroom. She'd changed into a tiny blue crop-top beneath her white overalls. It showed off her smooth, taut belly and small, bird-like shoulders.

Valerie walked over to the table and looked down into the box.

"Oh my god, it's the Orc Dick!" she exclaimed.

"The what?"

"Okay," she laughed, "I swear I didn't order this myself."

"Who did?"

"Um... well... one of my fans did."

"Your fans?"

Valerie took the olive-green dildo out of the box and started waving it around. Her eyes were wide in disbelief at the size of it.

"I have an... unusual job," she explained. "No one around here knows about it, so you can't tell any of the moms. You can't even tell Ashley!" Valerie pointed the dildo at me threateningly.

"Okay, okay, I swear I'll keep it a secret!"

Valerie winked at me, and continued to play with the dildo, bending it and squeezing it.

"I have a little... show that I do online. I have fans who watch me, and give me money. It pays for a lot. It pays for my rent, and daycare for my girl. And some day we'll be able to move into a bigger apartment."

"You're a... camgirl?" I asked.

Valerie shrugged. "I think of myself as a performer. It's not like I'm making porn that's going out to millions. I have a very select audience."

"And they send you dildos?"

"Well..." Valerie blushed. "I have a deal with my fans that if they send me a toy, I'll put it... um..." Her blush deepened.

"There's no way you're fitting that up your-" I stuttered. I couldn't complete my sentence. The Orc Dick looked like it would split a person in two.

"Oh god, not up my vagina!" Valerie gasped. "I stick it up my ass. You can get a lot more up there, especially if you go slow."

My jaw hung open. Valerie laughed and lifted my chin with the head of the dildo.

"Let's make a deal," she said. "I've got a show in two hours. If you help me put together all this furniture... I'll let you watch."

Now it was my turn to blush. But I was incredibly curious. Valerie was a skinny woman, someone I could easily wrap my arms around. And yet somehow she was going to fit this enormous green dildo up her ass.

My face burning bright red, I replied, "Okay, deal."

We got to work!

Before long, we'd put together a new dresser, a small dining table, and two wooden armchairs with fluffy cushions. We'd listened to music the whole time, taking turns playing our favorite songs. Valerie had great taste in music, and I tried not to take it personally when she laughed at my choices. After an hour and a half of hard work, all we had to do was cut up and recycle the cardboard boxes.

"Why don't you finish this up while I take a quick shower?" Valerie asked. "Just slip into my bedroom when you're done."