All Comments on 'The Slave Trade'

Hope the wimp developes a taste for cream pie, as #2 he's gonna eat a lot of it. If the slut wife hadn't wanted an excuse for some strange, she wouldn't let herself be blackmailed. Not up to your useual standards.

The answer to the question "Can you ever forgive me for being so stupid?" should have been "No fucking way! You didnt speak to me about this at all. You lied to my face when I asked what was wrong. You ignored your last chance to come clean and save the marriage when I told you about the get out of jail free card. Why the hell would I want to stay married to you?"<p><p>

Actually, this isnt a bad story but you do fall into your same old pattern of giving out unlimited 'last' chances. If the husbands just kept their mouth shut, they wouldnt have to back-peddle and keep redrawing their lines in the sand. It makes them kinda pathetic/flighty seeming no matter what the outcome of the story just because they cant stick with anything. <p><p>

Still like your stories even though about 3/4 of the male lead characters grate on my nerves something awful. You do come up with some interesting plots. Thanks for writing.

You were a decent writer at one time. Now, all your stories are shitty. I will not waste my time on your future postings. You are an idiot for posting such piss-poor trash. Maybe this guy can sell his cheating slut wife for $47,000,000.00. What do you think? You dumbass.

so much stupidity beggars belief.

I don't mind suspending disbelief when I read a story. I like it when an author's imagination stretches my boundaries. However, I'd need a complete mind wipe to get my head around this story.

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The hubby secretly buys a business but cleverly(?) never mentions it to his lifelong partner, his wife?! Right. The wife is a flaming moron who's convinced her law-abiding and upstanding husband is no better than a common (or uncommon) thief who's greedily embezzling money from the company that she doesn't know he owns. There's nothing she can see different in their lifestyle so she assumes he's salting away the money in a savings account? Right.

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To protect her hubby's fictional thievery, she agrees to the blackmailer's demand for sexual congress. This goes on for years and only the blackmailer's wife knows. The hubby never suspects a thing (this is true cluelessness), and the cheated upon wife never says a word until she finally divorces the blackmailer but somehow, curiously, the reason for the divorce is never made public. Strangely, nobody ever asks why Alice ditched him. Right.

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What the author didn't tell us was that Alan secretly liked being dominated and forced into sexual slavery. It was really a fitting end to a life lived well. Too bad the author didn't expound on this conclusion more fully. Right.

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The telling scene in the story was when Tom's daughter almost broke down when she answered the door, finding her daddy standing there unwilling to enter the domicile. That really tugged the old heartstrings. Luckily I had all the firearms at home locked up else I might've done serious damage to myself. Or perhaps to the neighbor's cat.

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After reading this, I need a drink.

o very stupid. Why would any sane man want her? Actually she would also make a great candidate for the slave trade. But perhaps best used in the South American prostitution trades. Your main character may be strong in business but like many in that regard he is a submissive by nature and has taken a submissive role to his stupid adulterous wife.

Please NEVER write another story

who are you and where is grey eagle? this is not up to your normal style and level of writting. but then everybody is entitled to an off day.

You sure don't know how people actually talk or how actual emotions come into play. Just give it up now.

and that is hard to figure

dont ever write again.. you REALLY suck at it

You do know how to come up with different scenarios, but this one really doesn’t float as pointed out by some of the well reasoned comments. I also agree with Average-Joe. Keep writing as you have a talent that you share with us the readers.<p>PT

First, it wasn't particularly erotic; and second, it was written by an 8th-grader. Check that; 8th graders write better.

Hard to believe this was the product of an adult mind.

I know you can write, so why write an implausible story which include plot holes and characters too stupid to live? Only a one cell, brain dead person would accept this kind of wife and this kind of husband. If you wanted to explore forced slavery and feminization, including fetishes then go for it, but don't try to mix it with a revenge/loving wife story which makes no sense.

This story would have to be much, much better for it to be worth providing any constructive criticism. As it is, the "writer" needs to focus his energies on getting an education in writing. Pass it by, reader. You'll be glad you did.

Author - I love your imagination but am usually lost after the 1st page or so as you wander off into galaxies far from the expectations anticipated [or simply stated your plot paths often wander into the realm of discomfort and disbelief more often than not].<P>

Your efforts are appreciated in many ways for they are well intended in my opinion but when garnished with endings not plausible to most of mankind your efforts often go unappreciated.<P>

Your volume of work is quantitatively impressive but it seems in doing so suffers the quality and that sullies your well intentioned portfolio. Fun is good - weirdly freaky isn't.<P>

A prize goes to Alveron53 for his gun case comment as one of the funniest I have ever read. A suggestion for him is to swallow the gun case key as soon as he feels the onset of despairing mind loss. That will tastefully(?) provide one the dampening of hours or up to a day respite to recover to a more or less sane mindset.<P>

Author - the loss of opportunities you create is mounting in your wandering conclusions - we await your use of an editor who will help you find a straighter closing path that gives your efforts greater plausibility and satisfaction for most of your audience.<P>

Less is often more than quantity could be.<P>

With Regard

story might have been better if you had not kept changing Alans surname

It certainly did not deserve the obscenity-laden tirades of non-writers like Harryin VA. It certainly meandered a bit in the middle, but a loving husband in this situation WOULD be confused as well as angry, and it IS a good plan for revenge. Hang in there. You are a very good author.

'Grey Eagle:' <p>In the past I have enjoyed many of your submissions, but as of late your efforts are difficult to navigate. This latest story is one of the silliest I've read here, and, with the growing number of lame efforts being submitted, that's no small feat. It's as if your story began in one genre and ended in another. The premise required too great a leap of faith for me to consider even barely credible, and the actions of the protagonists were pure fantasy. They not only reconciled in record time, but did so playing "grab ass" with the broom.</p> <p>Thank you for your effort. Better luck with future submissions.

There are three fatal flaws in this story: 1) the husband SHOULD HAVE told his wife he owned the firm, 2) if the wife is such a good liar that she can have sex she hates to have and show no sign at all, she's too good a liar or he's an idiot, and 3) if she's really smart and doing it to save him, she'd take the get out of jail free card. And he's a fool to give her no consequence for turning it down.

Frankly, I wouldn't be able to believe her - maybe she submitted originally to blackmail, but the consistent return and no confession means she's cuckolding him willingly. No way would I simply accept her explanations - they are as false as a three-dollar bill.

We'll pass on the real-time satellite imagery feed and the whole "sell him into slavery - we're all cool with it." stuff. Enough said. They do indeed desreve each other.

Sorry, T Lee is correct, you were once a promising writer, unfortunately, the "Grey" must have grown into your head and not on top. The stories you write continue to have weak and unbelievable content. You and "Jakewho" been drinking together?

I just came from "It didn't mean anything", to this story. What a dramatic contrast. That piece was so heavy, fierce and unforgiving. This, on the other hand was light, humorous and mayhaps a bit silly.

The punishment for the blackmailer may be appropriate but the way you set it up was hilarious. The only puzzle I have, is I read that he liked to dominate a slave, if so, why would he submit to be blindfolded and cuffed? Other than that, and the ignorance of the wife, in not knowing what assets her married life commanded, even in case of emergency of some sort, which is a little out of the range of my believability. Thank you for sharing this delightful piece with us.

That was so great will you be finishing it with another chapter when they get Alan and turn him over to To the Bradley Sisters?I cant wait to see Alan gets put in his place.

Pat M.

I haven't read the other comments yet, but here's my take.<BR>

I quote directly from the story:

"Nancy, I can't steal from the company, I own the company."<BR>

Her head jerked up, she looked wide-eyed at me. "You what?"<BR>

"Yes, about five years ago old Mister Strong called me in and asked if I wanted to buy the company from him. I said I would love to, but I didn't have that kind of money....<BR>

"Yep. I am the sole owner and General Manager. Mr. Strong has been dead for four years now. I have tripled the net profit of the company in that time. I have invested the money I wrote the checks for. It goes into an investment fund. It does very well. The Company owns thousands of acres of land now. Most of it I bought when the prices were way below where they are now. Actually most of the land sales and purchases we do now are for ourselves."

From there the story should go like this:<BR>

"You've owned the company for five years and never bothered to mention that to me? Your life partner? Your wife you supposedly trust? The person you discuss all major decisions with?"<BR>

Nancy thought for a few seconds before continuing.<BR>

"How can you even imagine I betrayed your <I>trust</I>?<BR>

"You had not one shred of trust in me, not one little bit!<BR>

"You ARSEHOLE! I betrayed my own conscience, my own self worth to protect the man I thought loved me. What silly fool I was!"<BR>

Tommy started to speak.<BR>

"Don't say one word scumbag. I want you to explain to the girls why I am leaving, if you don't, I certainly will when I come home tomorrow."<BR>

The next evening Nancy arrives home in time to eat with the whole family. <BR>

"Girls, did Dad tell you why I left? How he accused me of betraying his trust when if he'd trusted me this would never have happened?<BR>

"Well Tommy the trusting husband, you better get yourself a good divorce lawyer. I talked today to the three top ones in the state, so the best you'll get is number four. And I'd suggest you get a good financial adviser too, to help you figure out how you can pay me my half of the company's value. I did what I did because I loved you. I shuddered every time that slimebag touched me, but now I've realised you are worse than he. <BR>

Think about it girls. Think what Daddy has caused by keeping his big secret. Think about what it has gotten him in the end."

"This, on the other hand was light, humorous and mayhaps a bit"... stupid. A whole lot stupid. It wasn't a terrible story until you moved to the "punishent" phase, then it went to hell.

It will be interesting to see how this ends.

Bob

Eagle, while not one of your better efforts, it's certainly not your worst.

Started off promisingly with a reasonable amount of page space setting out the premice of the story. Unfortunately, (unless of course you decide to add a second chapter) what you would expect to be the main bulk and conclusion of the story seem to be over quicker than a 15yo male virgin with a bad case of premature ejaculation.

It comes across group of people full of self congratulations about their great plan but gives you nothing about the actual carrying out of the plan - a bit like watching a dressing room before the big game, only to find the telecast of the game itself has been cancelled - disappointing.

This read like one of those stories you get in the paperback books with the cartoon caricatures on the cover. Except that there wasn't nearly as much SEX involved. Both the husband and the wife were two diminsional but especially the wife. Then to add the two sisters at the end to make revenge possible was contrived but the worst sin of all was to treat this like a JPB story and deny your reader the satisfaction of seeing the revenge come alive. Sorry I got to give a thumbs down on this one.

You have the husband discovering the affair and prepared to gather the evidence but he never did use any of his equipment. He just run off and blames his wife without any evidence. How did this guy become his best friend but then the husband say that he has not seen him since the divorce? If his best friend is this blackmailer and public abuser of women what does that make him? How does he know that his wife's confession is true?_______________________________

I do disagree with one commenter who made his neglect to tell his wife about his business dealings makes him responsible for her cheating. Is there a part 2?_________

SleeplessinMD

they read, looking for something to be pissy about. I liked the story, liked the way the man planned and then found another way to get the knowledge he was after. I liked that he set Alan up for a bigger fall that Alan could ever imagine. I liked that given the evidence in front of him he wasn't a cold bastard.

I've noticed that many highly critical comments are from one nameless person. Sad. Really.

...oohhhhhh, puuuuleeeeeeeez! There are no real human emotions in the whole story, just trite phrases and expressions a 3rd grader could come up with.

scorpio44.The commentator was right with incredulity re his not telling her about company ownership.What kind of marriage could this happen in.But also,once again a stupid husband who has all the evidence he needs right in the first 5 paragraphs but questions the obvious.Real people react much quicker than that.Half a story too!Pistolpackinpete

However, I would have prefered to read about, you ended the story a page short.

THIS STORY STINKS! IT SMELLS JUST LIKE WHAT IT IS, SHIT!

end sucks donkey turds

If he had been honest with his wife from the start about ownership of the company.

I swear, what kind of man keeps something like that a secret from his wife?

How could an author not finish a revenge so magnificent and fun? This story has unbelievable potential. Thanks for the ride!

ask the ex wife for names of the other women Alan had blackmailed for sex? At least the one(s) she named in her divorce?

Did they ever use the video security system he ordered?

maybe it is time to request the services of FTDS for this fragment?

It requires courage to forge a great finish. You consistently fail in that respect. Just once, please take a story to its natural conclusion. even if it isn't spectacular.

EMRR has hit the nail on the head, at least as far as I am concerned . . . I have read all of GE286's Literotica submissions and am almost always left feeling that I have read part of a story, "story lite" if you will. Of course, if I'm so smart, why ain't I writing? At the end of the day, the only one who has to be satisfied with the story is the author. That said, I note the last GE286 submission on this site was in December 2011, so I'm not sure he is writing any longer . . . at least on this site. A shame, if true, because he generates some of the most creative plot lines on the site, but they seem betrayed by the rushed endings. But that's just me. The author is the one who counts.

Even though we can easily imagine A finish it would have been good to read YOUR finish this time - this guy needed justice to be served and for all to know he had been destroyed - including the readers LOL.

And you started in about the slaves and Mistresses baloney. I think they turned him over to the Sisters and that he killed both sisters and disappeared. They never saw or heard from him again. The end. A good story gone to hell.

Doc do you know the difference between fiction and non fiction. If not go back to grade school. Please stop lying to us and calling yourself a DR YOU MORON.

The one thing I have discovered about this writer, that. He has no care in the world for readers, I've red a few of his stories but mostly I red the comments this writer has gotten for those stories and their is one problem that this writer doesn't care to fix the problem because this writer doesn't care about the readers.

I won't give this story a star because this writer don't deserve any stars because of the incomplete stories the writer writes.

This is a classic case of failed communication. If husband had been honest with wife infidelity would not of occurred. If wife had told husband what was asked of her infidelity would been avoided. Now everyone has to live with tje results and hurt.

a completely over the top story played so serious it's funny, this is your author.

Good.story that was quickly sinking into the mud. Is there more?

Started off good, but both the writing and idea deteriorated quickly.

Just too stupid to be interesting. Total waste of words and my time ⭐️

Great start. Lousy ending. Rewrite with the bank president and law enforcement awaiting the vermin next Thursday.

More than a little strange. He needs a divorce

The last sentenc should be " We'll take videos to send to his friends especially of him with the huge dick donkey he will star with!!" Now that is how you put the cherry on top!

I guess the author needed a reason why the main character could forgive the wife and it wouldn't be her fault so he could have them live happily ever after.

The reason he chose was so silly as to be nonsensical. It didn't work.

I don`t agree with @jflinders that the reason for formgivning the wife is silly. Its a good premise for the stoy.

The silly thing would be, that the husband didn`t tell the wife, he is the owner now. I understand the clause in relation to the world, but the previous owner has been dead 4 years now - surely you would normally tell your wife by then at least.

That being said, it`s just sad, we don`t get to hear, how everything went down with the blackmailer?!

That would be a fine story in itself!

Needs an epilogue