The Sun I Can't See Ch. 04

Author's note: This is the final chapter of The Sun I Can't See. It was originally a two parts chapter, but I merged the two into one for Literotica. So if 20000 words don't scare you, pour yourself a cup of coffee and enjoy! I would like to thank everybody who rated positively the previous chapters and left good comments. It was much appreciated. This final chapter is very human and discusses friendship, love, and family, along with our strengths and weaknesses as imperfect beings.

"Morning, Squeaky."

"Mmm"

I tried to stretch my limbs as Miles ran his fingers on my latex covered face, but I couldn't move... ah, yes. The sleepsack. The amazing contraption hugged my body so comfortably. Did I really fall asleep in bondage? I wondered what time it was; we went to bed late last night and I slept like a baby since then.

"Do you want out?" Miles asked.

"Mmm ... What time is it?"

"About 9 am. Did you sleep well?"

"Hehe. I could get used to this, yes. Hey, is Mei awake?"

"Nope, I think she was exhausted."

"Awww. Don't wake her up yet. Just kiss me first!"

Miles pressed his lips on mine. It started small and cute, but it quickly degenerated into an intense make-out session. Being stuck in a rubber sleepsack turned me on already, so being stimulated that way made it even more intense. Miles was in a similar state, and now he wanted more.

"Let me get you out of this thing."

"If we have sex, it will wake Mei up, I mean, it's a bit embarrassing. Yesterday when we had sex, at least she couldn't see us."

"Right. One sec then..."

Miles left the bed; I wasn't too sure what his idea was. I heard some metal noises, and then, Mei woke up with a start and emitted some muffled groans. I wasn't sure what was going on, but Miles was definitely doing something to her; another one of those moments when I would have liked not to be blind.

"Miles? What is happening?"

"Nothing... I'm just putting her head harness back on, blindfold included. It startled her because she was asleep when I pushed the gag behind her teeth."

"Ah, that's mean!"

"She'll be fine. I don't have much time before work, so I skipped the arguing."

"MMMppphn!"

Since Mei was a bondage beast, I was not very worried. Actually, it wouldn't surprise me if such a wake-up call was appreciated despite some struggles while Miles fastened her head straps.

"There you go. All mute and blind. Now, let's take care of you, Alex."

"I think it's the opposite. I'll be the one who takes care of you."

"If that makes you happy..."

Miles unzipped my sleepsack and let me out of it. This thing was so comfortable that I was not even sore after so many hours encased in it. I must buy one of those; I have no other options. But before thinking further about that, I wanted to do something.

While Miles was running his hands everywhere on me, I crawled to Mei and lay down over her. I found a spot between her head harness straps to kiss. Just as I was going to tell her good morning, Miles lifted my hips up and immediately pushed his cock inside of me; he was more desperate than I could have imagined. At least my body was ready to take it; I guess a night in the sleepsack kept me warm and wet.

"Aaannh!"

"Sorry, Squeaky, I don't have time. I have to go to work really soon."

"AAaanh! Aannnh!"

I didn't mind at all. My chest was pressed on Mei's and Miles hit a particularly good spot this morning. I gripped the straps holding Mei prisoner to brace myself and accepted this nice manly pounding.

He couldn't hide it anymore, two females wearing latex and bondage gears while hugging each other was a major turn-on for him. I could tell just by how he was fucking me; it was a feral level of intense. As nice as it was, I wondered how we would navigate through this in the future. I definitely wouldn't want another girl in my bed all the time.

"Aaanh!"

"Hang in there, Squeaky. I'm close."

I tried to give Miles a good show by nibbling on Mei's ears in a way that he could see her face and mine at the same time. Mei liked it too; she was almost moaning more than I was despite her gag. All of this felt great, but this morning I was more in a mood to give Miles what he wanted instead of running after my own pleasure. I even felt a bit dirtier than usual.

As soon as he told me that he was about to cum, I quickly turned around and opened my mouth while sitting on Mei's hips.

"Oh, my God, Alex."

"Mmm... I want it all."

I could hear Miles masturbating furiously in front of me; what I offered got to him quite efficiently. He started groaning like an animal, and his sperm hit my rubber covered face. Some of it went straight to my mouth too, which made me giggle. It was a good load.

I swallowed what I had and used my finger to bring whatever I could find on my face back to my mouth.

"Geez, Alex! You must be possessed this morning. You are such a dirty one."

"Who is dirty? Me or the guy who cums on people's faces?"

"Hehe... Good point. Alright, sorry, but I really have to bolt. I'm late. I will see you tomorrow, Alex."

Miles kissed me on the side of my head and got off the bed.

"Ah, you are not coming back tonight?"

"I can't. I have to go back home and take care of a few things. Take good care of Mei, and don't get yourself in trouble."

"I won't. Call me later then. I love you."

"Love you too, Alex."

We kissed one last time, and then he left me alone with Mei. I flopped back on top of the bed next to her.

"Do you want out?"

"Mmmph!"

"I'm not sure what you said, but I think I need a bit more sleep while cuddling with you."

"Mmmph!"

Half-lying on top of her, I drifted back to sleep. She didn't move at all, not to wake me up. Good girl.

***

When I woke up from my little nap, I fetched my talking watch and checked the time.

"The time is 9:53 am."

"Well, that was a short nap, but it felt good. Let's take care of Mei now."

I inspected her head and found the buckles with my fingers. I undid the straps and took off the harness gently, along with the gag.

"Aaanh! That was mean!" Mei said.

"Hehe. But you liked it?"

"... Yes."

"Do you want out?"

"Yes, and it's urgent!"

"Oh, hehe... okay. One sec."

I removed the sleepsack straps one by one, unzipped it, and then helped her struggle out of her internal sleeve. As soon as she was free, she bolted to the washrooms.

I turned to my back on the bed and activated my brain for a bit. Mei was lovely, but what was I turning into? Only two weeks ago, I was that confident but solitary girl trying to get occasional dates that were not too creepy. Now, I'm in the middle of my bed wearing latex, surrounded by kinky gears and a sexy girl in my bathroom that was about to come back and demand sex.

What happened to me? I didn't dislike any of this, and I'm having tons of fun. But... was this really who I was? What happened to the small blind girl who only wanted some romance and occasionally indulged in some fetish?

A short moment after, Mei came back from the washroom and climbed on the bed. Within seconds she ended up on top of me and started cuddling.

"Hello, Alex!"

"Hello, Mei!"

"I need kisses."

"Hehe. Do you?"

"And maybe more..."

Mei tried to initiate a make-out session, but somehow, since Miles was gone, it was not really the same. I recalled all the times I kissed girls; it was always in front of him ... for him, mostly. Of course, I didn't regret experimenting, except with my sister, but the truth was that I liked it mainly because he liked it.

He took such good care of me. I felt safe when he was around. Now, I was alone on the bed with Mei and no one to watch over me. I trusted Mei, I had a very good feeling about her, but she was not my girlfriend, and she seemed way more into me than I was into her.

"Alex? Are you alright?"

"..."

"Hey? Are you sobbing?"

What was going on? This big ball of emotions suddenly built up inside my throat, and I started choking. Why? What just happened?

"I... I don't know... I'm sorry. I just..."

"Hey, hey, hey... Come here, you."

Mei got off me, lifted me, and rubbed my back. She grabbed my hand, and I squeezed it back.

"It's okay, Alex. I think you are just overwhelmed. This is all new to you, right?"

"... Yes ..."

"It's fine ... listen. Let's get you out of this suit and go for breakfast somewhere together. I'm starving. How does that sound?"

"... But... you wanted to have sex ..."

"Hell no! That is not important to me. I told you, I'm a loner. You are not in a state to have sex right now. I've been there. Bondage can be quite demanding. So don't worry about that. I only want you to have good memories of our night together. Do you want me to take a shower with you? I saw it. It's enormous."

"Hehe, Mei. Yes ... I would love that."

***

About an hour after my little meltdown, Mei and I sat in the park in front of my place. After determining that it was too late for breakfast, we grabbed ourselves a couple of hotdogs from the stand and went to sit somewhere on the grass. Usually, I always sat on one of the benches, but I liked to try new locations when I was with people. It was a bit disorienting at first, but it allowed me to explore my restricted world a bit more every time.

"So, tell me ... What made you cry earlier?"

"I'm not sure ... Miles, maybe."

"Miles? He is a bit too reserved for my taste, but he seems to be a good guy."

"Oh, he is, and I like him a lot. But during the past few weeks, I discovered a bit more about him. About what he likes."

"Well, that is good. We are all different, so learning about each other takes time. How long have you been dating him for?"

"About a month."

"Oh ... So it's all squeaky new."

"Hehe. Miles started nicknaming me Squeaky recently. I think it's really cute."

"Tell me about him. Why do you like him?"

I laid flat on the grass and kept my hotdog on my belly, squishing it a bit with my fingers. What did I like about Miles? I didn't think that was the right question. I knew what I liked about him... However, I was not sure what I didn't like about him; and that was my issue. Since I had an opportunity to vent, I should take it.

"I like that he genuinely doesn't care that I'm blind. It is as if I didn't have this handicap at all when I'm around him. We walk around town together, and it is never a problem. He is not ashamed of me. He is always there for me if I need anything."

"Well, that is nice. So, what is the downside? Something is bugging you, I can tell."

"Well, he doesn't open up a lot. I've been trying to pull him out of his constant sadness. He broke up with his ex shortly before meeting me. I want him to stop thinking about that and just have fun with me. It kind of works... Last night it was the first time he said he loved me... and I truly believe him."

"But... because there is a but, right?"

"Yeah! You could say that. I'm just paranoid, I guess."

"Tell me ... If you are paranoid, I'll tell you."

"Mmm ... I'm just wondering if Miles would still love me if I were not wearing latex as often. I get the feeling that he loves me because I'm fulfilling his fantasy. At the Fox & Spice and last night with you, I understood many things about him. He really likes it when I do things with other girls while wearing latex. I mean... he never fucked me like he did last night. I'm not complaining, but it was as if he made love to his fantasy more than to me. And when he left us this morning, was he happy because we had a great night or because he thought I would end up having sex with you all day?"

Mei laid down next to me on the soft grass, her shoulder brushing against mine, and sighed a long sigh. She was either thinking I was crazy or finding a way to tell me that my relationship sucked. Little did I know that it was not at all what she was thinking about.

"I know Miles... Not personally, but he's been around at the club."

"You ... know him?"

"Yes. I mean, I spoke to him a couple of times before but nothing memorable. To me, he was just a random guy. He was going there with his ex on a regular basis. So I've seen how he was with her. It was hard to miss."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"It's not my business to care about who is dating who. I'm a loner. I don't get involved in that kind of stuff. But what I wanted to say was that, to me, it looks like groundhog day."

"What do you mean by that? Groundhog day?"

"He was doing the same with her as he does with you... sneakily putting you in a position where you end up being shared with other people."

"..."

"There is a major difference, though... You are not crazy. His ex was! She enjoyed his little games way too much and gladly had sex with everything that had a pulse. What Miles liked turned into what he hated. His girlfriend walked away from him more and more, using his fantasy as an excuse to do crazy things with other guys, even without him being around. He was so in love with her that he endured... for way too long."

"He... didn't tell me anything about that. He admitted that he liked sharing me with other girls, but I didn't know that he was doing it before... I don't know what to think anymore."

"I don't know either, Alex. What I know is that he loves you very much. He doesn't fake that part. But based on what you told me, if you continue to try to please him that way and that his fantasy is not what YOU want, I fear both of you are going to have some conflicts. He might unconsciously use you to get back the feelings he just lost."

My heart was navigating between pity and fear. What Mei just told me was to protect me from a greater evil than I expected. It was unquestionable that Miles didn't want to hurt me and that he cared about me very much. But, was I a pair of crutches for his wounded leg? The little me who was doing everything to please him...

Yes, I loved rubber and having new experiences, but I was doing it much more often than I used to because I tried to match his desires, this much was evident to me. What Meixiang told me was game-changing, and I was glad she did. This odd feeling about our relationship, the one I couldn't put my finger on, found its place on the board game.

"Alex?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to eat that hotdog? All the toppings are running over your shirt ..."

"Oooh, nooo! My new shiiiirt!"

***

"So, Alex. Do you need help to get in your suit?"

"No, not today. I just want us to have a quiet evening cuddling in front of a movie."

"Cuddling in rubber is always better!"

"Are you attempting poetry?"

Miles kissed me on the side of my head. It's been three days already since I had this disturbing conversation with Meixiang about him. I didn't want to confront Miles about it as I didn't know where the truth laid with certainty, but he has been pushy in response to my refusal to go kinky. I didn't want to notice, but it was there, in my face. It was not that easy to keep it cool.

"Maybe if your friend Mei were here, she would manage to convince you."

"Mei is busy this week, she is back to school to study business, and she has a couple of assignments to finish."

"Oh, good for her. So why don't we go to the Fox & Spice after dinner then? Maybe we can find you a new less-busy girlfriend."

"Miles ... I just want a normal evening with no kinks. Can we have that once in a while? I'm always wearing my suit when you are here."

I kept a gentle tone as I didn't want to be the spark that started a fire. I just wanted to spend a quiet evening with the person I loved. I wasn't trying to test him or anything; I was just trying to rebalance my life after this crazy weekend with the club, the incident with my sister, and Mei's visit.

Miles wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a little squeeze and a Kiss behind the head.

"No problem, Squeaky. You cook, and I chose the movie."

"Deal!"

The evening was okay, I guess. The food was great because I took care of it this time, but the movie sucked. Miles could have chosen something different than a manly action one that had no intelligent dialogues in it. I would have liked something a bit more romantic and more blind friendly so I could have followed. I leaned on him for the larger part of the movie, but I didn't get a strong response. It felt as if I was cuddling with a taxidermied creature.

When we went to bed, it was more of the same coldness. I wore a cute little nightgown that was so soft on my skin, but that didn't do anything for him. Sleeping on his shoulder that night felt a bit lonely.

The next morning, he just woke up, went to work, and I did the same a bit later. I tried not to overthink this. Other couples didn't have wild sex every night after all. I refused to see that there was something a bit odd about all of this. The last thing I wanted was to go back to my old habits and think that love was not something I could have.

The rest of the week was, unfortunately, more of the same. One night I decided to wear my latex suit because I wanted to, and he made love to me with passion all night. It was as pleasurable as it was infuriating.

The other days were not nearly as fun, particularly tonight. I was cooking our dinner when Miles pushed me again.

"What about a repeat of the other night?"

"Miles... We can make love without me wearing latex, right?"

"Yes... sure... but I would like it better if you were."

"I know, but I'm not like that... I can't wear it just because you want me to. Sometimes yes, but not all the time."

"Okay, but can we go to the Fox & Spice this weekend... This time I'm paying."

"Miles! Stop asking! We will go back, I promise, but you can't force it on me. Is it that much of a problem if I'm not wearing kinky gears and go hunting for new girls?"

"No... Sorry... I thought you liked it."

"I do... But not as much as you, apparently. I get the feeling you are trying to lure me to the club so you can fulfill your fantasies. What about what I want?"

"Alex ... That's not fair. I'm not trying to lure you anywhere. I told you what I liked and thought you were okay with it. I'm just trying to put us in a position where we would get opportunities to do fun stuff..."

"Where YOU can do fun stuff. Well, I'm not that adventurous. I need to be in the right state of mind and right now I need to feel loved without the extra stuff. I can have fun without kinks... I'm not like your ex!"

"..."

Oh crap. Did I just say that? He didn't respond... I felt awful about what I said.

"Miles... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it..."

"No. It's all good. I'm not sure what you know about my ex exactly, but we agree on something. You are nothing like her... Not by a long shot. She was not cowering in fear. You know what? I'll go back home tonight."

"Miles! Wait!"

All I could hear was him walking away and getting out of my apartment. I slammed my knife on the cutting board and kicked the cabinet door. My anger was not only directed at myself but at him as well. As much as I was ready to admit that I had not been delicate enough, him leaving this abruptly and making this harsh comment was just a reflection of how annoyed he was with me this past week. And all of that for what? Because I didn't want to wear my latex catsuit when he wanted me to? That was childish.

I grabbed a beer and sat on the floor in front of one of the living room couches. I tried to find out how I felt about what had just happened. Perhaps I was a bit sad because I really liked him, but it was not the prominent feelings coursing through my veins. I had some sort of renewed confidence in my capacities... in what I wanted.

I was this small girl who had worked very hard to get where she was and went through so many roadblocks because she was blind. I was also this girl who loved her occasional kinks and was always ready to try new things and have fun. But I would not be manipulated into believing it was all I was good for.