The Sun I Can't See Ch. 04

After a short wait, we got our snack and headed to a small plaza nearby to sit on a bench to eat. I sat in the middle. Mei was on my right and Mary on my left.

"Mary, give me your cookie box. I want to know what it looks like."

"What? Why? It's just a box... You had those before."

"Give it to me... I can't see it."

"You are so whiny today. Alright, here..."

She could be so naive sometimes. Of course, I knew what a cookie box was like; it was far from the first delicious mini-cookies I had within my grasp. It was not at all why I wanted them, I couldn't care less about the box.

I swiftly sliced the seal with my nail and flipped the lid open.

"Hey! What are you doing? Those are mine!"

"I know... Mary... Sit!"

"..."

"Come on... Sit!"

"Alex... Stop it... Give me my cookies back."

"Not before you sit in front of me like a good doggie."

I heard a little, "Oh, my God!" coming from Mei, who was probably fascinated by the way I dared treating my sister. She probably wouldn't get involved, but I could sense some sort of approval coming from her.

"Lex... There... there are people around."

"I don't care. I can't see them. If you want your cookies, you have to be a good doggy and sit."

"..."

It took her a moment, but then I felt her moving off the bench and in front of me. Two things could happen... Mary would either obey or snatch the box off my hands. In all honesty, I wasn't too sure which stance she would adopt.

"Arf!"

"Aaaah! Puppy!"

I reached in front of me, and she was right there, sitting like a dog with her chin just above my knees. Keeping a hand on her cheek, I approached a tiny cookie close to her mouth, and then she reached and grabbed it with her teeth.

"Aawwww! Did you see that Mei!? She is sooo cuuute!"

"Haha... You two are messed up in the head. People are totally staring at us now."

"Who cares! We are having fun, and they are not."

"True... By the way, your ice cream is delicious, Alex."

"MEI! You can't eat my ice cream!"

What a great night. In front of me, Mary sat there for a while, Mei was joking around, and I had a blast; it truly was a perfect night. It was so great to bond with my sister again and continue building a solid friendship with Mei. Tonight, it was only the three of us.

***

"We should have called a cab. My feet are killing me."

"Aaah, Mei, you need more workouts in your life. It wasn't that far."

We arrived at the Theodore, my luxury apartment building, and the doorman let us in as soon as they saw me. Tonight we would all sleep at my place.

As we were waiting for the elevator, a familiar voice called my name; it was Albert, my favorite old doorman.

"Miss Alex, would you have a moment, please?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Would you mind following me?."

"Oh? Yes, sure."

I grabbed Albert's arm, and we walked away from Mary and Mei. It was the first time Albert behaved like this, so he got me curious.

"Miss Alex. First, please accept my apology as this is not something I should get involved with."

"Hey, no worries. What's going on?"

"Well, earlier today, your friend Miles entered the building..."

"... Miles!? Are you sure?"

"Very sure, Miss Alex. He walked in... and walked out right away... then he walked back in and went to the front desk... When we asked him what we could do for him, he asked for you, and just as we were about to call you, he changed his mind and walked out again."

"... Really? He came here to see me?"

"It appears so... But it was not the only thing that caught my attention..."

"No? What else?"

"He was wearing a nice shirt."

"... a nice shirt? But... Miles always wears those crappy t-shirts..."

"Precisely... So, that is all, Miss Alex. I just thought I would let you know."

"Oh, thanks Albert. You did the right thing."

"I'm glad to hear. I will walk you back to your friends now."

Albert was definitely more like a father to me. He genuinely cared about me and my happiness, and he knew I had a rough time because of what had happened with Miles. Telling me this was showing how much our relationship was special.

"Hey, Alex. What was that about?"

"Oh... Nothing... He... He just wanted to tell me that they were about to renovate the unit next to mine. That's all."

"And he tells you that around Midnight on a Friday night?"

"Oh... hehe... They care about me very much."

"Whatever... Let's go to bed now. Walking for hours killed me."

"It was only a forty-five minutes walk... geez."

***

"Mmm..."

"The time is 9:37 am."

"What? That late?"

My little talking watch surprised me when it told me the time. When we came back last night, Mei went straight to bed, but my sister and I stayed up a bit longer to watch some cheesy TV show. I loved doing that with her because she knew exactly how to translate into words the action I couldn't see. Again, we grew up together, so it was all so natural.

I didn't bring back the dog roleplay, though... I think Mary had enough emotions for one day. After the show, I gave her some blankets and a pillow to be comfortable on the couch, and then went back to my bedroom. I shared my bed with Mei, who was already sleeping like a rock, exhausted by our short walk.

I expected to wake up next to her this morning, but when I patted the mattress with my arm, she wasn't there anymore.

"Mei?"

"I'm in the living room, lazy butt."

"Mmm... I'm not a lazy butt..."

Still half asleep, I walked down the hallway and went straight to the kitchen with a precise goal in mind, my espresso machine. As usual, I wore my silk blindfold. I wasn't used to having people around the house, so this habit of mine just made things more comfortable for me.

"Do you want a coffee, Mei?"

"Yes, please!"

"And you, Mary?"

"Mary is gone already."

"What? Really?"

"Yes, she said she had to go to work."

"Awww... My dog!"

"Haha... You really liked her as a canine, uh?"

"Yes... I loved it."

I brewed two coffees and went to sit next to Mei in the living room. She pressed her shoulder against mine and asked me a funny question.

"How can you read this?"

"This? This what?"

"That book in braille. I would not be able to do it."

"Sure you would... It's not that hard. I'll show you... look..."

Understanding that she had looked at my bookshelf out of curiosity, I extended my hand to reach the book she held and slid my fingertips on its cover.

"D... U... N... E... Crap..."

"Dune crap? What kind of book are you reading, Alex? This is such a weird title."

"Nah... It's just Dune. You just picked the book that I read when I first met Miles."

"Aaah. You can't associate everything to him. What is this book about anyway? Dune?"

"It's a book about big worms..."

"I said, stop associating everything to him!"

"Hehe... You're nuts, Mei."

***

"Do you realize what could have happened here?"

"We are so sorry. We will take those signs down immediately."

"You better do that, yes. Unless you want somebody to die."

"Hum... I assure you... We didn't have any ill intentions. It was an honest mistake."

"Tell that to a person who is blind, and that was going to end up with a broken leg because of your gross negligence."

"..."

Tony and I worked for a firm mandated to perform and enforce safety and accessibility regulations in private commerces and residential buildings. We've been a team for a long time and worked very well together; my skills combined with his allowed us to provide the private sector with an expertise that was very much in demand.

The city had strict rules regarding safety signage within the large building; this was necessary for emergencies, like fires, among other things. Everybody was entitled to live in an environment that was safe and functional, handicap or not. A sightless client shouldn't receive fewer services after paying the same amount.

That said, Tony and I performed an inspection in one of the most reputable luxury hotels in the city following an investigation triggered by a set of customer complaints. We found so many anomalies so far that I was getting pissed off. We just found this braille sign indicating "lounge," but it led directly to a staircase. Useless to say that it was hazardous.

"Alex... Come with me. We need to talk..."

"... okay?"

Tony pulled me away from the hotel manager and started to reprimand me using a low voice.

"Alex? What the hell are you doing?"

"What do you mean? Those signs are all wrong... Someone could have died..."

"Do you think I don't know that? That's not my point! You cannot treat them as if they did this on purpose. You know that! We are a neutral firm... We inspect, we report, we take the necessary actions. We are not a courthouse."

"But... They..."

"No buts... I don't know what's wrong with you recently, but stop treating them like criminals. Be professional or keep your mouth shut."

"Tony..."

"Just do your job, leave the talking to me. We have a reputation to preserve."

It was the first time ever that Tony addressed me this way. If the clients had not been near us, I fear he wouldn't have been this gentle.

We returned to the clients, and I kept a low profile while trying to digest what had just happened. Tony took the lead.

"Sorry about the interruption. Yes, you have to take down those faulty signs immediately. I recommend you contact the vendor who provided and installed them to find the problem's root. You'll need this information for the post-incident review."

"Thank you. We will get on it right away."

"We will send you the official report within two days, and then you'll have ten business days to correct the issues before our next inspection. Failure to do so will lead to fines."

"We will wait for the report and do all we can to resolve the situation."

"Perfect, we will keep in touch, then."

I grabbed Tony's arm, and he led us to the elevators without a word. I knew I had messed up, and I knew he would want to discuss this as soon as we would be out of here. Usually, our inspections always ended up with some "good jobs" and "nice work," but this time around, it was a heavy silence.

As soon as we exited the hotel, we got in a cab that drove us away.

"So? Want to tell me what's going on?"

"... Nothing, Tony. I guess I'm... I'm just tired..."

"Tired my ass... You've been acting weird for the past several weeks. Do you realize that I constantly have to clarify all the odd things you are telling our clients? We can't continue to work like this."

"I'm sorry... I'm just ... distracted."

"Look, you are very good at your job, Alex... You can find things that nobody else would. But when you are acting like this, it's counterproductive. I don't know what is going on in your personal life, but you better resolve it soon. I need my coworker back."

"... I... I will... Sorry... You are right."

"Yes, I am. Alright, we are done for the day anyway. Do you want to go somewhere for lunch?"

"N... No... I think I'll go back home and think about this."

"Okay, then. Driver... We are going to drop by the Theodore first."

***

"Aaaaah! What's wrong with me?"

As soon as I got home, I went to my bedroom and crashed on the bed, face first. I knew Tony was a hundred percent right, and I've been acting like an idiot for the past few weeks. There was no reason for me to be so annoyed and irritable.

My life was GREAT! I had a fantastic job and super coworkers, I lived in a beautiful apartment that fit my needs perfectly, I found a good and supportive friend in Meixiang, I got to reunite with my sister to an emotional level I thought was gone forever, so why was I so tense and unfocused?

Well... That was a stupid question. I knew precisely why... Miles!

I was already not doing so well at accepting his sudden departure, and when I learned that he had shown up to see me but changed his mind at the last second, it turned my heart upside down... and nobody could help me make sense of this situation.

Despite my relatively short relationship with Miles, he was a guy I had learned to love. He had many qualities that were very appealing to me. I had never dated someone who naturally didn't care about my handicap the way he did. He was creative, open-minded, and even funny at times. I always felt safe around him and knew he would never use his physical strength to control me. To sum it up, he was the type of guy that checked so many of my boxes.

He had faults too. His demons related to his previous relationship were just toxic to both him and me. During the moments when I refused to play along with one of his kinks, his coldness was also something that had annoyed me a great deal. And of course, I didn't appreciate the way he walked out of my life as soon as I said something he didn't like to hear.

I didn't discuss this analysis in depth with anybody. This was what I was thinking, and only I would decide if something could be done about it or not. If I were to ask for advice, some people would give me different opinions that, in the end, wouldn't necessarily reflect what I desired.

No, This time, I would decide on a path to follow by myself... But I had to do it soon because this unattended emotional matter was slowly but surely gnawing at my brain.

A second chance.

I would give him a second chance. That was my decision.

I just had to observe myself to find imperfection. How many times in my life had I whined about my disadvantage in romance because I was blind, even if it was not true? How many times have I condemned people because they didn't see me as an average person on the first date when I should have accepted better that they were just not used to my lifestyle and my differences? I didn't give them a chance to learn.

If I were alone today, it was partly because of my flaws, the ones I consciously knew I had and that I had been working on for so long. What good would it do if I crucified someone cared about because he was not perfect and made a big mistake?... After that person had told me that he wanted to take things slow because he struggled with a recent breakup; after that person genuinely admitted that he loved me.

A second chance didn't mean I would go back into this relationship blindly... Well, that was a stupid thought coming from a blind girl. But yeah, if I were to meet him again, it wouldn't mean we would be back together; it would only mean that I would be open to hearing him out and being honest with him about my feelings in return.

I got off my bed and went to my closet. It was time to do what I was good at; being blind and awesome, and own my decision. I felt around through my clothes to find the right items. With the help of the little aluminum braille tags, I pulled out of the closet the same clothes I wore when I first met Miles. That would be the perfect bait.

Then I went back to the living room, grabbed my sunglasses and that big Dune book before heading outside.

Using my spidey senses, I survived the crossing of the street and went straight to the park. I've walked this path so often that I wasn't scared to get lost. After this railing, it was another thirteen steps to reach my favorite bench.

As soon as I felt the wooden backrest with my fingers, I walked around it and sat.

"AAAAH! What the fuck!"

"Ooooh! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry... I didn't know you were sitting here."

"The hell! Are you blind or what?"

"Heee... Yes, actually. I am."

My determination to come here made me forget about common sense. I sat without even checking if the bench was empty and ended up on a random guy's lap by accident... and now he was pissed at me.

"What? Are you really blind?"

"... Yes... I can't see. Sorry, I need to sit here, or else I will get lost."

"Ah, whatever... just sit next to me, there is room. Just don't sit ON me."

"S...Sorry to ask you this... but could you move to another bench?"

"No. There is enough space for the two of us."

"But... I'm waiting for... a friend and..."

"I said no. Sit or go. I don't care."

"..."

Awww... What an unpleasant person. I sat as far from him as I could and placed my book on my knees. That wasn't part of my plan, and I didn't know what to do anymore. I hoped this guy would leave soon.

The next thirty minutes were not that fun. I slowly read my book while my neighbor was doing I don't know what. I didn't like his presence. It was annoying not to be able to understand what people so close to me were doing. It was as if I felt his negative energy crawling on my skin.

Then out of the blue, a quiet male voice coming from behind me revealed something I'd have preferred not to hear.

"That guy is trying to play with your hair, you know."

"Uh? WHAT?"

Without thinking about it twice, I slammed close my oversized Dune book and whammed it with all my strength in the face of the guy next to me.

"AAAAAH!"

"WERE YOU TRYING TO TOUCH ME!? YOU CREEP!"

"No! No! I swear! I wasn't!"

"Yes, you were... You better leave before she gives you a concussion."

Without another word, the stranger quickly grabbed his belongings and left in a hurry. And the other man walked around me... The man I had been waiting for.

"Thanks... Miles."

"You're welcome, Alex. Can I sit?"

"Yeah... I thought... No... I hoped you were going to show up."

"... I hoped you were going to show up too. I didn't have the guts to go to your home directly. So I came here almost every day... Hoping you'd eventually be here."

"... I know. It's okay."

Miles sat next to me. That was the scene I wanted to recreate today. Outside the creepy guy, it was how Miles and I met, but the energy was quite different this time around.

"How... how are you doing, Alex?"

"Good... It's been a while."

"Yes... It's been a while."

"..."

No, I wasn't going to make any efforts to initiate this adult conversation. My part was to show up here and wait for him. This gesture of goodwill meant that I was willing to hear him out, and it was up to him to understand that. His part would be to convince me that he had learned something from this spontaneous breakup.

"I messed up... All I ever wanted was to be happy with you, but I failed to see that this happiness was right there under my nose."

"You could say that."

"Alex, I lied to you."

"... About what?"

"When I first met you, I told you that I wasn't ready for a new relationship. It wasn't true. I was ready the second I saw you. On that day, I didn't sit next to you on this bench because it was the only seat left, I chose to sit next to you because you attracted me. But then... I couldn't talk to you. It's a miracle that you invited me for dinner after our awkward conversation."

"Mmm... Cute... But what else did you lie about?"

"Nothing else... That was it... One little lie that allowed us to fall in love... And then, I let my greed creep in and destroy everything."

That was an honest assessment from his part. It was pretty much what I thought had happened, and I believed him. It didn't mean we could get back together or anything, but at least it felt good to clear the air. That was the kind of talk we should have had when things were going downhill. But I knew that sometimes, people are just not ready to talk about their problems; sometimes it could take minutes, sometimes it could take years.

"So, what's next, Miles?"

"What's next? Nothing... It's not like I'm employing a strategy to get you back. There is no plan here. I just hoped I would get to see you again, talk about it, and then decide where to go from there... together. The way things ended was not healthy, and that's on me."

"Do you love me?"

"Always did, always will. You know that already, I'm sure."

"I do. And I love you too. But you know what? That's not good enough."

"... Mmm... You are a strong one, Alex... I'm sorry... I'm sure you will..."