All Comments on 'The Tales of The Aurora Pt. 03'

Great job by your editor! MUCH more enjoyable to read than previous chapters. Look forward to seeing how parts 1 and 2 turn out with good editing.

Your editors turned a good story into a great one

Great!!!

If you were every going to compile all these chapters into a book or re-edit them at some point I would suggest that you switch to a 3rd person perspective instead of switching between 1st person perspectives. There hasn't been any real internal monologue that couldn't have been told with 3rd person narration and the entire point of telling the story from a 1st person perspective is that the story is locked into being told from that perspective, so much so that the reader is immersed in that character. Switching perspectives during a story is a really difficult thing to do well and more often than not it just breaks the immersion for the audience, as they have to change their mindset whenever these 'switches' occur.

I like the story so far, it tickles a number of kinks for me and the whole set up is interesting, so I'm looking forward to reading more.