The Temptations of Dee Pt. 11

Just a Routine Check Up

Dee took a sip from her coffee and noticed her friend's glance at the clock. Anna was a picture of calm and repose but she had looked there at least four times since they had sent Kent out on his little errand.

"How do you think its going to go?"

Anna gave her friend a nervous smile. "I'm pretty sure. I mean its new to me but from what you and Emily and Georgia have told me... I'm pretty sure I've recognised the signs. I just want to know now, know for sure, can you understand that?"

"Do you think it was when we met Bill?"

"If it is true then that was when it happened. I wanted to make it that way - so at least I would know. Do you think Bill will want to know?"

Dee laughed. "Oh yes - he'll want to show you off for sure. Just as long as he doesn't have to..." She rubbed her fingers together in the universal symbol for money.

Anna rushed to reassure her. "No, no, of course not. Jennifer drew up papers to secure the future in the event... Well, you know, when we first seriously thought about this. Kent has signed over funds and acknowledged obligations in advance."

Dee took another sip of her coffee. Her old pupil Jennifer had experience in these things. Those legal papers would be an air-tight contract. She hesitated and then decided to speak. "I still can never quite get over how accepting Kent is of all this. Especially now."

"I know just how lucky I am. It probably helps that he started us along this road. I would never have thought of doing it. I went along with it at first just to get him to shut up. I thought if I went a little way he would soon get cold feet but..."

"Not so much," nodded Dee.

"We'd arranged to meet Izeye and all along I expected him to bail out. If he didn't then with a day to go I was going to tell him that I just couldn't do it and he'd have to accept that. But..."

Dee encouraged her friend with another nod. "But?"

"But over that two or three weeks I'd got to thinking about it - about meeting Izeye and all that might follow. It sort of crept up on me. It unlocked something that I think had probably always been there. A desire for a certain something, a certain sort of man. A desire that Kent, and I DO love Kent, just could never fulfil. Then when I met Izeye, the very first time that his eyes met mine. When I saw his strength and his presence and his obvious desire for me. It was honestly all over from that moment I think. Everything else, even this morning, is just a logical progression from that moment."

"I know that feeling," said Dee softly. "But Kent..."

"If Kent had wanted to back out then I would have accepted that. That first meeting Izeye came on pretty strong and I was pretty sure at any moment that Kent would just tell him to fuck off and walk out. My husband is NOT a weak man and certainly nobody's doormat."

"Unless, of course..."

Anna gave a confirmatory smile. "Unless he wants to be. I don't know how but Izeye had read Kent completely right. Kent tried to explain it to me. That he felt that he was not good enough for me and that his love for me meant not just allowing but encouraging me to..."

Dee nodded. The rest didn't need to be spoken. The desire for a 'real man', the realisation that this meant a Black man. She had been there herself, though in her case she had travelled the journey without her husband's knowledge or consent.

They heard a vehicle on the driveway and knew without looking that Anna's husband was back from his errand. Dee looked round at her surroundings. Kent ran a successful privately owned business and his home had all the trappings of success. Perhaps his beautiful younger wife had once counted as one of those trappings. Most people could never comprehend what would cause the couple to have chosen the path that they had taken. However, Dee could. She knew the strength of that temptation and then the ever building power of its fulfilment. Anna could not turn back now any more than Dee could. Kent? Now Kent might be another matter. Reality might bite harder than he could stand. That was why Jennifer and Izeye had made arrangements to secure the future for Anna and her family.

Kent came into the room with a small box in his hand. His lips were slightly pursed, his face tight with anxiety. He gave his wife a nervous smile and then handed over the box with its 'First Response' branding. "It's a two-pack. So even if things don't show today then maybe in a couple of days time we might be more lucky."

Dee had watched him carefully. Kent was certainly nervous but there was no reason to doubt his sincerity. His acceptance, even his hope, that his wife would prove pregnant by another man. A pregnancy which would prove beyond doubt his wife's infidelity in the eyes of the mainstream world. Things would be difficult, could be really rough. Their love and their bond would be tested. Maybe it would not prove strong enough or maybe it would be tempered and strengthened by all the experiences to come. Time would tell. After a year in the lifestyle Dee knew examples of each. Actions had consequences but you could not always be 100% sure what those consequences would be.

"Just a moment," said Anna and then she went to the bathroom carrying the pregnancy test.

Dee was still watching Kent. She saw his eyes follow his wife out of the room. Then she saw him close his eyes for a few seconds as his mouth subtly moved. She realised that he was praying - but what for?

Anna returned with a small plastic pot containing some amber-coloured liquid. It didn't take a genius to work out what that was. She quickly removed a test from the box and unsealed it. She found the instructions and read them carefully for her husband's benefit. Then she removed the cover from the absorbent strip and held it over the pot of her pee. "Are you ready?" she asked, the quaver in her voice slight but detectable.

Kent took her free hand in his. "We'll count together," he said.

His wife dipped the end of the test into the liquid and the couple counted out the required five seconds together. Then the test was put aside for the required three minutes.

Dee felt the privilege of being there. This was a potentially pivotal moment in the lives of her friend and her friend's husband. No-one spoke as they waited. Kent had placed his arm around Anna and the two now kissed, a picture of unity and shared experience. Dee thought to herself that she hoped they would make it - she had a strong feeling deep in her soul that they would, however foreign their experience seemed to her.

Dee glanced at her watch. "It's time." She saw Anna's eyes flick to Kent. He took a breath and then picked up the test. There was a moment's pause as he scrutinised it and then he smiled and nodded. "We're going to have a baby."

Anna's eyes opened wide and she almost laughed before gently taking the test to look herself. She smiled again and then a trace of anxiety came into her face. "The second line isn't as dark as the first."

"Let me," said Dee. Being a woman of experience came in handy at times like this. A glance told her all she needed to know. "You should use the other test in a week's time if you want confirmation but that is a clear positive. Congratulations - it's time to make plans - you are pregnant as pregnant can be."

Anna squealed her delight and then hugged her husband before hugging Dee as they each got to their feet.

Dee felt the warmth of her friend's body - seemed to feel her racing heart-beat. She had been there - especially that first time. The mixed wonder and joy and anxiety. The knowledge that nothing could ever be the same again after that moment. That some suddenly unimportant doors were closing but that other potentially wonderful ones were opening wide and bright and full of possibilities.

She thought of her own children, her own family. She remembered her own precious moments with them. She remembered all that she had been putting at risk over the last year. All that she knew that she would be putting at risk even more over the next few months. She felt the guilt of that realisation but knew that it was an empty feeling. She would not be turning back. She had told Anna to make plans but she knew that she herself had to do the same - and fast.

***

Dee remembered back to the moment after she had dumped her birth control pills down the toilet at home. She had reached over to pick up her phone where it had been recording the moment on video for posterity - and for Shaka. She allowed the phone to carefully record her new jewellery - each nipple pierced with a bar and ring to allow it to carry a small enamelled Queen of Spades symbol. Then she moved the lens up to take in her face and blew it a kiss. "All for you - my Black master," she had purred and then stopped the recording before immediately sending it to Shaka.

She knew that he would understand the video, would decode its symbolism instantly. She still felt the rush of adrenaline coursing through her as she heard the front door close downstairs. A second later she heard the voices of her son and oldest daughter. She quickly did up her blouse and went to meet them. It was time to be mom again.

She heard her phone chime and automatically checked her messages.

'Proud of u babe. Get here tomorrow. We got overdue business.'

She felt the thrill run through her, her soul basked in Shaka's approval. Her mind flashed forward to meeting her Black lover and master tomorrow. She knew what that 'overdue business' was. She almost felt her whole body quiver at the thought of how good that man could make her feel. Her mind snapped back to where she was. Maddy was smiling at her and reaching out for a hug. But Maddy wasn't her main concern at that precise moment.

Young Davey was only just turned nine but he was sharp for his age. As she met them Dee saw a momentary look on his face. What was it? Surprise? Confusion? Concern? A mixture of all three? She waited for him to say something but he didn't. She felt a moment's disappointment but hardly surprise. One aspect of her 'busy' life over the last year had been that she had perhaps given more of her available time to her two younger children. She had rationalised that fact - had even told herself that it had its advantages for Davey. He had both become more independent and spent more of his time with his father. That had been good for David too. At least that was what she told herself. But now Davey wasn't going to seek an explanation from her. She knew her son. He would think about it and ponder it and perhaps at some future date he would seek explanation for what had concerned him. From her? Or from his father?

'She would have to be more careful.' That was the thought that ran through her mind. Except that the empty birth control package stuffed to the bottom of the rubbish bag and the video still on her phone proved that wasn't going to be happening. Quite the opposite in fact.

Shaka Takes Charge

Dee felt the blood pumping through her body and the excitement surge through her as she saw him. Her master was an impressive figure of a man. Tall, strong, confident. He acknowledged her arrival with a nod of approval and swiftly ended his call on his phone. With a languid movement he opened the passenger door of his S63 before moving round the vehicle to take his place behind the wheel.

Dee took her seat in the Mercedes and Shaka had them underway before a word was spoken. Dee felt the rush of mixed desire, anticipation and concern. Shaka had made his plans for her and it was her place to go along with them. He would not ask permission or seek her approval. He had decided what was best for her, what she needed. It was something that would have been outrageous but for one thing - to date Shaka had always been right.

She glanced at his strong dark profile as he drove, his eyes on the road. She was rewarded with a smile and a wink. It felt so good to be back with him. She only now realised how she had missed him in their few weeks apart. She almost didn't notice that when they reached the freeway Shaka turned South.

South.

South out of the capital, out of the dense urban landscape and into the suburbs.

It was a familiar route - she drove it every working day. She'd driven it every time she had returned home from her assignations with her African-American lover. She'd used those times to get herself back into the mindset of a safe suburban soccer mom. Well that wouldn't be happening this time. Any more that it had a few days ago with Bobo and Tamika. Did Shaka know about that?

She glanced across at him again and was rewarded with another smile.

"Yeah, getting to be a habit ain't it." His voice was smooth as silk, dark as the richest chocolate.

She almost shook her head at her own foolishness. Of course he knew. It might even have been his idea. "I seem to be getting lots of fun new habits nowadays."

Now he rewarded her with a delighted laugh. "Thass what I love about you Dee. No frontin and no bitchin. You're the real deal."

Dee felt the surge of pleasure move through her at his approval. It still sometimes seemed like a dream - that she had attracted a real man, a man like Shaka. All the things that had happened in so short a period of time with him after the years of tedium with her husband.

"Yesterday was a real good day. Not one but two excellent pieces of news. Talkin' of which - why you decide to send me that vid yesterday?"

That was typical Shaka. He didn't ask her why she'd decided to dump her birth control and send the evidence to her Black lover. He only asked about the timing. As if he'd known from the first time they had met that it would come to this. As if he had known that she wouldn't be able to resist. As if he knew that she would risk everything for him. Shouldn't she resent such arrogantly supreme confidence? She knew that she would have resented it but, once again, for that one very obvious and very salient fact. Shaka was reading her right.

She suddenly remembered his question and rushed to answer it. "I ... it just seemed like the right time."

"Any reason for that?"

He wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily. He wanted to know or, perhaps more likely, he wanted to hear her say it.

"I took Anna... well we went to see Bill. I told you about Bill..." Her voice trailed off. It still didn't seem natural to discuss one of her other Black lovers with Shaka.

Shaka only chuckled. "You getting shy Teach?" He glanced at her and laughed again as he saw her cheeks redden. 'Teach' was the nickname given to her by her four young Black ex-students with whom she'd spent a very active night only a couple of weeks ago. That one word carried a lot of weight. It demonstrated how much she had changed since the first time that she had met Shaka. She had fucked six different Black men during two weeks, including once parked up in front of her marital home. She had become ...

There was a break in her thoughts. She knew exactly what a lot of her old friends and neighbors and even family would call her if they knew. She knew what she herself would have called someone else doing all she was doing and not so very long ago. None of that mattered now. She didn't care what any of them thought. She was expressing herself, her own sexual being, her own sexual needs. The man with her in the car was her lover but much more than that. He was her master, her guide, her teacher. He had allowed her to find the strength and the courage to break free from the years of boredom and her old vanilla white-bread suburban existence. That new freedom was exhilarating despite all the dangers it carried with it. She knew how much she owed to Shaka - whatever happened. He had allowed her to again be... herself.

She only felt foolish about one thing. That for a moment she had felt embarrassed to discuss Bill with Shaka. As if Shaka didn't already know. As if Shaka didn't thoroughly approve. She wasn't his wife, she was one of his women. He didn't resent her having other Black lovers, he expected it. It was part of the process. Part of taking an unfulfilled white wife and allowing her to become a Black man's woman.

"Still waiting girl." Shaka's deep voice was amused rather than annoyed. "What was that about you and Anna going to see Bill?"

Dee made one last feeble attempt to resist. "Don't you know already?"

Shaka shrugged, his eyes still on the road. "Izeye mentioned something to me. Like to hear it from you tho."

Dee's eyes and mind registered as Shaka turned his vehicle off the freeway and onto the road to Ireton, her home.

"It was seeing Anna and Bill together - it just seemed so natural. Everything about it seemed so absolutely ... right. I suddenly knew I didn't want to wait any longer - and I knew today would be..." She didn't know what else to say.

Shaka just nodded his approval.

"What was your other good news?"

Shaka smiled. "My girl Lisa."

He didn't need to say any more. Dee had introduced the two of them - Lisa had been another white wife unhappy in her marriage. Made miserable by her husband's infidelity and neglect. Shaka had demonstrated to her that she was a desirable woman - a woman that a real man would prize. In return Lisa had given Shaka what Shaka most prized. She had given herself to him fully, without reserve. Dee knew what Shaka was telling her. Lisa was pregnant, was going to have his baby.

"What about her husband?" Dee couldn't help asking.

"Gone and in the dust. Fucker still thought he was being fly with that secretary of his. Me and Ty went over and moved all Lisa's kit to Mr Taylor's development one morning. She was moved in and making friends before that asshole husband of hers even knew she was gone. Of course it was easy for her."

Again Dee knew what he meant. Lisa had a cheating husband and no children. Dee wasn't in that position. She had three children and her husband David wouldn't cheat on her, if only because he lacked the courage or the imagination. She felt a little wellspring of frustration within her - even her husband's fidelity was really only a mark of his laziness.

"I'm guessing your hubby's still being a good boy." Shaka's last two words were dripping with contempt. He'd never made any secret of his attitude towards David.

"Oh yeah," said Dee dismissively. She hated having to spend any of her time with Shaka discussing her husband.

"Shame - make our life easier if he had shit for brains like Lisa's. I'm assuming nothing's changed, that he won't accept how things are now."

Dee had to be honest with herself. She had no problem with how Anna and Kent lived their life but that wouldn't be for her. Her husband would never accept the cuckold role and she would have lost any remaining respect for him if he had. No matter how convenient it would have been.

Shaka continued, "So what's his reaction going to be?"

It was a scenario that had been played out in her mind many times over the last few months. Not that it had needed to be. She knew David well enough to know how he would react. "He'll be angry, very angry. He'll want to take revenge, to destroy me. He'll do everything he can to hurt me." She paused. "He'll use what will hurt me most."

Shaka nodded as he drove into her neighborhood. "So he'll use yo' kids. He'll take them from you as punishment for disrupting his milk-toast existence. He'll punish you for wanting more than this." He waved an arm at his window, at the prosperous suburban neighborhood that they were driving through. It was the American dream - or at least it was what they spent decades teaching you was all anyone could ever want. Except for some it could prove more a prison than a dream. The bland, shallow, passionless existence. The tedium of all those almost identical houses with their neatly cut lawns and their occupants drifting almost unnoticed into middle- and then old-age.