by Brownrice_sugar
Too bad you don't seem to have the time, or the inclination, to write this story to the best of your ability. You do have the talent for it.
It was way too short. I would have much rather you waited to write more before posting this. It was like the intermezzo in a 7 or more course meal. You gave us just enough to make us mad.
sooooo short and this story is shaping up nicely though. Keep em coming!
I like your story, but it wouldn't hurt to proof read you know.
Totally like the characters..!! Jake is charming and Corey is cute and shy and totally a today kind of girl...awesome...
This is what I consider a story (with sex), and not a sex story! I think given a little more encouragement your story will be one of the great ones! Don't stop now, keep writing and proof reading or ask someone to proof read it for you, you have gotten a lot better with your transitions from scene to scene. Just don't stop writing until you can get to a place to conclude the story without leaving us readers yearning for me. Answer theses questions......What happens at dinner? What happens with Allyson, or Brendan, What happens with Cory and Jake. Please do not leave us hanging here!!!!!
sometimes be more careful how you write; I noticed that you spelled Coreys name differently sometimes & sometimes the r from your will be missing.
Great story. You have a nice voice, it really draws one in. Take it seriously, it's a gift.
for an update on them really soon, with more details of their future if they will have one together. Let us not forget his little sister and her teenage problems either...
I really enjoyed this. Its well written and the characters are engaging. Am anticipating and waiting for the sex / love making...
Please continue
It's been forever since you've updated! Lol please come back! I'm totally in love with this story so far :)
I hate it when people don't finish their stories. Espicallly when the stories are really good and captivate the readers. Please come back and finish!
When can we expect more to this story? PLEASE do not leave us hanging; the story has the potential of being a sizzler. PLEASE CONTINUE.
Come back!!!!! :( pleeeease :)
This is a great story!!!and it seems like it has just begun!
This saddens me to see a lot of negative feedback. I hope you didn't take anything to heart. I think your story was well written & someday you come back finish.
You have got to finish this please. I think Cory is cute and bat shit crazy (lol) for always talking to herself. I really enjoyed reading this story. I want to know what happens with Allison (she needs a reality check adult indeed because actions speaks louder than words) and Lisa and Brendan. Now, what with my favorites Jake and Corey? This will be a five stars when its finished. Please hurry
I love this story!!!! Where's the rest??? Stop playing..u really gonna leave us hanging??? It's been 8 years!!! Lol