All Comments on 'The Thief in the Corner Office Pt. 06'

This is a pretty good story.

Perhaps just personal preference, but in my ideal MC story, the controller uses the slightest touch possible. This allows the original character's personality play through. It allows them to properly experience the humiliation, the degradation, and the slow descent. They fight the control or at least fight the influence - perhaps not realizing or understanding the source or even that it is control. This makes the humiliation stronger. This makes the revenge against them better.

Right now, Alice has been mind controlled so much, she doesn't seem like she's struggling with it at all and is, in fact, enjoying it a great deal.

Even if he dumps and rejects her at the end, it will essentially just be like a couple breaking up. She'll be typically and understandably distraught - just without a job and some permanent tokens of her relationship as well.

I think it would have been better if he had simply made her cum hard from his cock and made her addicted to it - I love the "she thinks his cock is giant" aspect. Then he can pressure her into submitting to perform degrading sex acts, to wear slutty clothes, to submit to a spanking, to get him a job, even to get tattoos, not because she's mind controlled, but because she's cock-controlled. She needs that orgasm so much she's willing to submit and break who she is in order to get it. She should be reluctant, hesitant, humiliated, small, insecure, doubting herself (would make turning the company over to him to be both more painful, but more the right move because she's doubting herself so much while idolizing him), even as she continues to submit and fall further and further into degradation because she's so addicted to that cock and the orgasms it gives her, that she thinks she loves him and is willing to do things she's never done before in order to make him happy so he'll give her that feeling again.

Anyway, I like the premise and general path of the story. Just feels like the use of the MC is heavy handed and she's enjoying this process too much.

Thanks for such an obviously thoughtful comment. I've written several mind-control stories, and part of my motivation stems from my belief that it provides an interesting way to look at what makes people act the way we do. I think your suggestions are very good, and I hope to include them in future stories.