The Unwanted Swap Ch. 02

Snoring, wrapped together like lovers. Ha, how the fuck did that happen? I curled up with the dogs cuddled up beside me.

The morning came with light bursting through the misty clouds. Poking my head out of the sleeping bag, I sucked in a deep breath. This morning wasn't going to be pleasant. I got the feeling there were lots of repressed emotions hiding beneath the drunkenness.

Even outside, I could hear the snores. Slithering out of my cocoon, I took the time to stretch and breathe.

Gathering up all the wet and dirty clothes, I walked to the little shed I used as a laundry and storage room. I threw them all in, set it to wash and went back inside to make some tea.

Even my clattering and banging couldn't rouse them. They were dead to the world. I made a cup of tea, hung the freshly washed clothes on the line and waited. It was funny listening to the moans as they awakened from the depths of their slumber. Rose was first. "Oh fuck, what happened? Why are we in bed together?"

"Shush, darling, please. My head is absolutely ringing."

Silence, then Rose again. "Claire, why am I wearing your bloody undies?"

"Darling, please, quietly. Are you?"

Rose must have finally figured out where they were. "Oh, Jesus bloody Christ. Why are we here? God, I can't remember a damn thing."

"Stop, darling, please. Heavens, I need tea." She called, "Eddie, would you be a love and make us some tea?"

I poked my head in and sniggered. "Morning, you party animals."

Rose stared at me, and try as I might I couldn't decipher her look. "Eddie, how did I get here and who put Claire's undies on me?"

"Number one, you walked here. Well, staggered really. Two, after you both vomited everywhere covering all your clothes in that vile shit, I had to dress you."

"Oh god," they echoed in unison.

I made the tea, and took it outside. They both followed, Claire growling painfully and Rose wrapped in a blanket. "Where are my clothes?"

I pointed to the clothes line and she sighed resignedly. "Thanks, Eddie."

We drank our tea in silence, occasional, "Oh god's." escaping as memories of the previous night returned to haunt them.

It took half an hour or so before they were ready for anything to eat. I kept it simple, toast and marmalade, coffee for Rose, because I knew she loved her morning coffee.

That sort of got things moving. Rose kept stealing glances at me. I could see some hurt seeping through her strong facade.

It was Claire who raised it. "Rose, are you going to be all right about Eddie and me?"

She nodded. "I'm surprised, but I am glad you have somebody to help you through this."

Claire smiled warmly, clasped Rose's hand and whispered. "Thank you. I know this is a shock. Good lord, nobody more so than me."

Rose glanced up at me. "So what happens now? Are you telling people, or is this a secret?"

It was Claire who responded. "Darling, I would prefer it if nobody else knows until I have finalised proceedings with Tony. I don't want to give him any ammunition."

Rose nodded in agreement. "Probably for the best, but is this like forever? Or are you just having a fling?"

"Rose, it's to early for any of that. I'm sorry. I didn't plan any of this. It just sort of happened." Claire replied softly, apologetically.

"It's okay, babes, I can see why it happened. I am sad, happy, confused, but mostly happy. I love you both."

I could see it was just a front: a brave attempt to save face. She shocked me when she asked. "Where are you going to live?"

Claire swivelled quickly to give me a stare. "Golly, we haven't talked about living together."

"Rose, we are still learning about each other. I'm sorry, because this must be hard to hear. I'm sorry for the way things have happened."

"But you guys are living together now though... right?"

"Darling, I am just trying to give Tony some space. He is in the process of moving out. We have agreed on that much. Once he is gone, I will move back home. Then I suppose we will have that talk."

Rose was like a dog with a bone. "If you decide to live together, it makes sense it would be at your place, I mean it is a mansion."

Claire glanced at me, I shrugged. Rose spat it out. "If that happens, what are you going to do with this place?"

I couldn't answer. She took the opportunity to blurt out. "Would you sell it to me? Or at least rent it to me?"

"Rose, you're way out ahead of us. Claire will most probably be sick of me by then. Can we just take things slowly, one step at a time."

She nodded slowly. "But it's a possibility, though?"

I shrugged again. "Yeah, I suppose so. I don't know. It's not even finished. I may not be able to finish it."

"I don't care about that. I will buy it as is, unfinished."

I chuckled softly. "You can't afford it."

"How much do you want for it?"

"400,000 pounds." I blurted out.

She winced, did some mental arithmetic and responded. "Sold."

The pair of them got changed in the caravan. I heard the giggles as they fought for room. When they walked out, Rose and I hugged and she whispered. "Please look after her. Don't hurt her, she couldn't handle somebody else casting her aside."

"I wouldn't do that."

She croaked in a barely audible whisper, "You did it to me."

As they were preparing to leave, Claire walked over and stretched into my arms, her arms circled my head as she leaned in close, her boobs crushed against my chest. Tilting her head, our mouths met and the kiss soared. I felt her weight shift as her leg lifted behind her as she balanced against me.

As we separated and she leaned away, I caught a glimpse of Rose, her eyes visibly moist, and the saddest look I have ever seen. God I felt terrible. The lowest form of life. Kissing another woman in front of her.

I kicked a stone hard as they walked away back out the drive. "Fuck!" I snarled at myself. "You fucking prick."

Christ, only a week or so ago, I was contemplating the possibility of reconciliation and here I was, rubbing her nose in my affair.

As the week rolled by, I tried to ring Rose. I must have picked up the phone a million times, but each time I chickened out. I mean, what was I going to say? "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you?"

Claire decided she would move back home. Tony was asking all sorts of questions and being a right bastard. He was trying to make things impossible for Claire. His problem was, now that the truth was out there, Claire discovered the true extent of his misbehaviour. He had banged most of her friends and every stone she turned over exposed another indiscretion. The man had a problem; he was a bloody sex addict or something.

We met every day for dinner, or just drinks. We talked and the real Claire opened in front of me. She was lovely, warm, caring, funny and generous.

The strange thing was her relationship with Rose seemed to strengthen. After seeing us kiss I expected Rose to walk away, but she was obviously made of sterner stuff. Stronger than me. If it had been me watching her with Tony, I would have exploded and blood would have been shed.

Wednesday night, I made a start on sawing up the decking timber. I was at the saw, covered in sawdust, and didn't see the car pull up. I just about left the ground in shock when somebody patted me on the back. With my heart beating I turned to see Claire and Rose.

Turning off the saw, I growled, "Jesus Christ, Claire. Were you trying to cause an accident? You never sneak up on somebody using a saw bench."

Contritely, she offered her apology. "Sorry, darling."

I removed my leather safety apron and walked over to see what they wanted.

"Well, we got sick of waiting. You never called so we decided if you weren't taking us out. We would come to you."

The phone call sprung back to my mind. Yes, I was supposed to pick them up and go to dinner. "Sorry," I offered.

She gave me a mock growl. "It will be all right, but you will have to be on your best behaviour."

Rose was in the middle of spreading out a blanket on the ground. "We're having a picnic."

They both started unloading baskets of food and drink. We lay down and the smells assaulted my nose. God, spicy chicken wings, Mongolian barbecued pork spare ribs salads. God, what a feast. As we ate, Claire carefully manipulated the conversation. We talked about all sorts of things: work, music, friends, funny stories. It was really a fun night. It was well after dark before Rose decided that it was time to leave.

I was disappointed when she started to pack up. Claire looked confused, as well, but said nothing. There were hugs and Rose and I managed a kiss. Yes it was awkward, yes it was uncomfortable, but It meant the visit ended on a good note.

It was a cathartic moment. It wasn't much, but it was another step towards... I didn't know what. Was this charade over the house nothing more than me saying, "Look what I did?" Was I subconsciously trying to garner her affections? I couldn't answer my own question.

As seemed to be the way with my life, things were coming to a decision point. The house raced towards completion. It was really just finishing, lighting, doors, paint, and of course, the appliances and furnishing. I blew out my credit card, and now the extra payments were sucking down my bank balance like quicksand.

I could just keep living as I was. The house would have to be put on the back burner. I could keep working on it, doing what I could, but it would mean staying in the caravan.

Of course, more importantly, Claire and I grew closer, although I didn't see that much of her at the moment. She was ensconced in her fortress, fighting Tony for a fair outcome. It was in the hands of lawyers and the fight was bitter. He wasn't letting go without a fight. I'm not sure who released some of the details of his indiscretions to the media, but one of the local journalists picked up the story and was chasing him down. There were lots of unsavoury stories appearing over the media. His battle now wasn't just with Claire, but the board. His reputation was so badly tarnished they wanted to let him go. His saviour was the old boys network. They closed ranks around him. I think it was the reason he stopped fighting Claire. He agreed to her terms, just to shut her up. She would get to keep the house. He got the beach house and his collection of cars. They split the assets fifty-fifty, and he agreed to an alimony espousal support payment that would keep a small country afloat.

With the terms settled, Claire relaxed. She went back to spending nights in the caravan with me. Sexually, she was incredible, so damned adventurous, nothing was taboo. Things that Rose had refused, Claire accepted with open hands.

She and Rose were now inseparable. They were close enough before, now they were joined at the hip. When we went out, it wasn't just Claire and me, it was the three of us. Yeah, it was fun and my ego took a huge boost. Having two of the sexiest women on the planet on my arms was the coolest thing any man could ever experience.

What started to bite for me was when Claire started suggesting partners for Rose. She wanted her to be happy. She became her unofficial matchmaker.

That might have been okay for Claire, but it drove me crazy. Luckily, Claire got it wrong. The guys she set Rose up with were all upper-class snobs. God, even I knew this wasn't what Rose was looking for. I saw the look on her face when Claire introduced her to the next contestant in the, "Find Rose a partner," game show.

If nothing else, it freed me from the guilt of showing affection towards Claire in front of Rose. Claire had arranged another double date for us and Rose. Her new partner some corporate banker.

We were getting ready in the caravan, and she said, "Hurry up, darling. We don't want to be late."

"I don't care. I don't even want to go."

"Oh, don't be like that, my Love. I just want to find somebody for Rose. She is so lonely."

"But it's not our job. We aren't her caretakers."

"No, but we are her friends. Don't you want to help?"

"Claire, she is my ex-wife. I don't feel right going on dates with her. It's bloody awful."

"Now now, my love. She doesn't mind. I suppose I am trying to get over my guilt. I feel terrible. She told me, I was well aware of how much she wanted to have another attempt at resuscitating your marriage. I did a terrible thing."

"Claire, it wasn't happening. I had no intention of getting back together with her."

"She doesn't know that. Surely you must see the pain in her eyes when we are out. I have to restrain myself all the time. I am afraid to so much as kiss you, because I see how it affects her."

"I see it, as well. That's what I'm getting at. We should let her manage her own life."

"But she hates going out alone."

"Then maybe you should go alone. Leave me at home."

"No, If this a penance, then we must both do it together."

We stopped and picked up Rose on the way. As always lately, she looked spectacular. The spare time she had on her hands she spent at the gym and she had never looked better.

We arrived at the restaurant just after her date, Matt. We met at the bar and he got a round of drinks. I swear I saw Rose screw up her face when he started talking. His voice was pure Eton. I tried to make conversation, only because Claire jabbed me painfully in the ribs. "Claire tells me you're a merchant banker, Matt?"

"Oh yes. In town to finish a deal we have been working on. What about you, old bean?"

"Oh, me, I'm just an engineer, nothing special."

"Oh stop it, Edwin. Excuse him, Mathew, he is a project manager. Aren't you, dearest?"

I shrugged. "I suppose, it's not important."

I turned to Rose, "How's the job hunt going?"

"Good. I think I am making headway. Talked to my old boss and she is keen to take me back. I will have my old job back."

I chuckled, hoping not to sound cynical. "Back where you started."

Claire piped in. "Yes, but now she has so much more experience. I'm sure they will offer you a much better deal, won't they?"

"Matt, how long are you in town for?" I interrupted.

"Another week or so."

"How are you finding the old place?"

He scrunched his face. "I suppose it's all right. It's not London, though. There's so much more to do in London. Decent restaurants" I heard the distaste in his voice as he looked around our setting. I mean, this was pretty nice. One of the better establishments in town.

The table went a little quiet. "What do you do in your spare time? Hobbies and such."

"The usual, old man. Golf, squash. Polo when I can, but things are a bit busy at the moment."

"Polo, aye, Sounds posh."

"I do like to go sailing when I get the chance. I have my own yacht, you know."

"Really, a yacht, wow." I tried to mask my contempt. I suppose he drove a Bentley.

"Are you into cars, by any chance?"

He shuddered. "No not really. I have a Roller, but it is an old one. Must be two years old. What about you?"

"Oh, my old bomb. I drive a Corolla, nearly twenty years old, actually."

I saw Claire cringe and Rose laugh. He just glanced around the group, totally unaware.

We were guided over to our table and we ordered. Matt ordered more drinks for everybody. He gazed at the menu for an age as he tried to select a suitable bottle of wine to have with dinner. I read his mind; in the end he went for the most expensive bottle.

Claire managed the conversation. She led us like a good shepherd, making sure there were no awkward silences. Matt, however, seemed lost when Rose and I started talking work.

That led to her favourite topic, the house. "Eddie, when are you going to prepare the documents for the house sale?"

Trying to sound sincere, I replied, "When Claire makes an honest man of me."

Claire glowered at me, as I continued. "Until then, I still need somewhere to park the caravan."

Shocked, Matt spluttered, "Good god, man. You live in a caravan?"

Claire snapped. "Oh, for heavens sake, Edwin." She turned to Matt. "He is having a joke with you. He is building his own house. Renovating a cottage, actually."

Claire gave me a funny look, I saw the corners of her mouth turn up in a little smile. "Oh to hell with it," she snapped. "I'm sorry, Mathew, but Eddie is a gypsy. He does live in a caravan. We just didn't want to embarrass Rose."

He looked completely lost. "I don't care about, Edwin. If you are happy dating a Gypsy, then so be it."

Rose couldn't hold back her little titter. "Eddie, stop being an arse. The truth is, Matt, Eddie and I used to be married. He keeps trying to sell me off so he can stop paying me alimony. Isn't that right, dear?

"Yeah, well if you didn't keep playing hard to get and put out for some of your dates, we might get somewhere."

"Eddie!" Claire scolded. "Stop it. She doesn't play hard to get, she is hard to get. She is not a cheap tart."

Turning back to Rose, I puffed out my chest. "How much do you charge, my Love?"

"Let's put it this way, you will have to sell that damn caravan if you want me."

"We are not selling the caravan." Claire announced. "We only just got the suspension fixed."

Rose and I burst out laughing. Matt just stared at us as if we were all crazy, which we probably were.

Claire sighed. "Forgive us, Mathew, we were trying to be funny. Please don't take any of this seriously."

He nodded, but he seemed unsure. His stiff upper lip was sagging.

Matt's expensive wine arrived and we all had to sample it as if it was the most delicious tipple we had ever tasted.

Because Claire, Rose and I were so close, the conversation flowed with the drinks, it only got easier, and Matt, poor old Matt, got left behind. He tried, he really tried. His problem was Rose wasn't interested.

We moved onto a bar which had live music and Claire and I danced. In the end Matt got Rose up, but I could see by the awkward movements it was not going anywhere.

On these nights, what made me uncomfortable was Rose's eyes. They followed Claire and me continuously. And the look was sad. She was in the arms of a guy, who if I was being honest, wasn't that bad, but she watched us like a puppy watching another dog eating her bone.

As we danced, Claire whispered, "Go and save Rose, will you please?"

"Yes, mistress, your wish is my command."

I patted Matt on the shoulder. "Can I cut in? I would love a dance with my wife."

"What... Oh I see, you're joking again."

"No, mate, she's actually my wife. This is just a game we play. Sorry."

He walked away trying to find something to say, but failing miserably.

Rose slipped into my arms like an old comfortable jumper. Her head rested on my shoulder and with her mouth close to my ear whispered. "Could you please pick the next one. Claire's taste in men is atrocious."

"Hey!" I snapped curtly.

She sniggered. "Sorry, current company exempt."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like she's trying to replace Tony, not me. Did you tell her what you wanted?"

"Yeah, I told her. I said all I wanted was a rich man with a giant cock."

"Wonder how she knew he had a big one?" I asked.

"She told me, she tried him out on my behalf. She said he was enormous." She tried to hide her laugh, but it broke through.

"I'll have to tell her off. Her quality control is terrible."

"Yes, he had money, but god, his cock was only ten inches."

"Good god, is that all? What a waste of time. I heard you won't get out of bed for less than twelve."

"Exactly. I mean, I have principles, do I have to spell it out?"

We danced smoothly. Her body nestled close, her perfume assaulting my senses.

"Honestly, Rose. How have you been."

"I'm okay." She sighed deeply, then confessed. "No, actually I'm not. I'm lonely. The house feels empty, my life feels empty. I want somebody to hold me the way you hold Claire, the way you used to hold me. I want somebody to gaze lovingly into my eyes like you do with Claire. Why didn't we ever do that?"