The Valentine

I blinked at Ephram, then looked at Lizzie uncertainly.

"He won't be here," Ephram said quickly. "He was suspended and won't be back at all. He's helping his aunt move now and getting her place ready to move to."

"We'll be helping his move this next weekend," Peter added.

"You three are speaking to me now?" I asked, confused.

"We told you... he told us we couldn't talk to you before. You were his. We couldn't even look at you. We promised," Ephram said.

"Since the 3rd grade," Peter added.

I looked down, nodding slightly. "I'm going to go sit down and read before school starts," I said softly. It was what I did every day before school started, but this was the first time I felt the need to tell someone what I was doing like it was an excuse. I wasn't used to having people talk to me.

I slipped in and stood a moment, watching Sterling bent over his desk, writing something out. He finally looked up, then stood up quickly, his face brightening.

"Cass! I thought you would be resting today and perhaps tomorrow as well. I was not thinking I would see you so soon. How do you feel?"

"I'm ok. Ache a little and still don't like light, but a lot better. Sorry I was so much trouble."

"No trouble at all!" he said with a warm smile, hovering about a foot away nervously, like he didn't know what to do now.

I was also at a loss. "I... uhh... I was going to sit and read like I always do."

"Yes! Of course, yes. Please, have a seat. You look better, you have your color back. Did you have any issues over the weekend?"

"I slept through most of it, that medicine made me sleep a lot."

"Probably exactly what you needed to heal. I... ahem, I was at the general store Saturday and I happened to notice they had a few new stories in. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of picking them up for you, I know you usually get them yourself on Saturdays, but..." he trailed off, putting them on my desk and stepping back.

"Thank you, that was very thoughtful," I said, feeling my cheeks burn as I touched the covers lightly.

"You are very welcome. Cass...?"

"Yes?"

"May I call on you this Saturday? In the afternoon?"

"I... umm... yes. Yes, I think that would be lovely. Umm. I will make dinner?"

"Oh! You don't have to do that!"

"No, it... I want to. I will make dinner Saturday and you can come to dinner. I will tell my Pa."

He gave me a pink cheeked nod, his eyes shining with excitement.

I felt my mouth trying to turn up in a smile and I looked down quickly, smiling at the stories as I put them away.

The room began filling and I kept my face down, unable to look up.

At break, I stayed seated and pulled my book out and we both sat quietly and read, though more than once when I glanced up, he would be looking at me. He would look down shyly when I looked up, and I blushed every time I was caught looking up at him. It was the same at lunch and at second break. Neither of us spoke, we were both too flustered to find anything to say.

At the end of the day, I gathered my things slowly, piling my new stories on top of my books. I finally stood, then paused again, turning towards his desk. "Thanks again for the stories. I am excited to read them."

"Of course, it was nothing!" he said quickly, coming around his desk and stopping a couple feet away.

"I will see you Saturday?"

"Yes, I will be there... but I will see you tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes! Yes of course, I will be here. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Umm. Have a good evening then."

"You too, Cass, thank you. Enjoy your walk home now that the weather is starting to warm a bit."

I smiled and left, hurrying out the door before I let the embarrassed smile break out on my face. I felt like that had been awkward and I was ridiculous, but I didn't feel bad because he had been so awkward as well. It just made me feel like he was more human than the perfect little pristine man I had always seen him as.

I was thinking about him and wondering about him as I walked home, smiling a little dreamily.

"You look to be feeling fine now," Jack said.

I jerked out of my reverie and my eyes went to the edge of the woods where he was leaning on a tree stump. He stood off of it and walked to the road and me.

I stared, a little alarmed as he looked down at me, his eyes a little hostile. "I... I am feeling better. My head doesn't hurt so bad as it did."

"You did that yourself. Did you tell people that?"

"No one really asked and I didn't talk about it, but I think I mentioned it," I answered, starting to head home again.

Jack walked next to me. "But you did, Cass. You did that yourself."

"I did," I agreed. "When you kissed me and I tried to get away from you. You didn't ask... and then you forced me. I am not going to go over this every day, Jack. What do you want?"

"Just to walk you home," he snapped irritably. "Fine. We'll forget the stupid kiss. I shouldn't have done that. I thought you wanted to be kissed and you were just trying to act like you didn't so I had to work harder for it. Be chased or whatever. Anyway. Sorry. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Sure, I guess."

"So we can just move on, right?"

"If you want?"

"Ok. I am moving into my house this next weekend. Gonna start this spring on the planting, your Pa already said he would help me and show me when he did his planting."

"That's good... good for you."

"When school is out, we can be married. Me and you."

"Jack..."

"What?"

"First, that wasn't a question, you still haven't asked me. Second, I told you, I won't just say yes to someone who hasn't spoken a kind word to me. I want to be courted."

"You will make me jump through hoops, Cass? Really?"

"And anyway, I don't think it's a good idea you even asking after me anymore. I don't really like your temper. It scares me, Jack. You scare me."

"That is ridiculous! How long have you known me?"

"Never. I have never known you," I answered, stopping in front of my house. "You have been someone I knew of, but I have never known you. You have never tried to know me or let me know you. You pointed at me to you friends and said 'that is mine'. That is ALL you know about me. You saw something you wanted and it never mattered to you how I felt or what I wanted."

"Cass, you are being..."

"Sprout?" Pa called from the barn.

"Coming Pa!" I yelled quickly. I turned back to Jack. "Don't intercept me on my way home from school again, please. If I want to talk to you I will let you know, stop trying to force me."

I turned and hurried inside, not waiting for an answer. I ran up to my room and sat down, feeling angry and anxious and upset. Finally, I put the stories away with the others before laying down on my bed to try and sort out my feelings.

Was I really just punishing Jack? No. It wasn't right what he was doing. Refusing to even consider asking me, like he already owned me and I didn't have to say yes. Not only that, I really didn't like his temper. I didn't want to spend my life with a man who had a temper like that, even if I had had a crush on him for a few years.

"Sprout?"

I jerked awake, blinking up at my pa. "Yes? What?" I asked sleepily.

"It's morning. I let you sleep when I saw you had fallen asleep yesterday, figured you needed it. You want to stay home today?"

"No! No, I will go to school. I'm starving."

"I made you some eggs. Sprout, Jack is downstairs, asking if he can walk you to school."

"He asked you. Not me. How about this. He asks me, I will let him. He assumes or tells me, I say no," I said angrily, getting up. "And you can't say anything to him about it!" I said quickly.

Pa smiled. "You know I wouldn't. Say the word, Sprout, and I will tell him to never cast a shadow on our door again."

"Thank you Pa," I said softly, moving to get ready for school.

I went downstairs and Jack was there in the kitchen waiting for me by the door with his arms crossed. I paused as I saw him, looking at him expectantly.

"After you eat, I will walk you to school," he announced, nodding towards the plate on the table.

I sat down at the table, looking at my Pa who was making more eggs with compressed lips.

"I already asked him," Jack said, as if he thought I was looking to my Pa for permission.

"You didn't ask me," I told him, looking at him again. "No thank you, Jack. I will walk myself. Don't come asking after me again. Ever."

"Cass! That isn't fair!"

"I mean it Jack, I have no interest in you in that way. Have a good life."

"Cass," he said in angry exasperation, coming closer to me.

"You heard her, boy," Pa said dangerously, stepping away from the stove.

"Sir," Jack said, stepping back. "You know she doesn't mean it, she is just upset. It's ok, Cass. I will jump through your hoops, ok? Please, Cassandra Sutton, will you do me the honor of allowing me to call on you this weekend? Saturday?" he asked in mock formality, but he sounded angry.

"I have plans. Oh, Pa by the way, Mr Whittier is coming to supper on Saturday. I am cooking him dinner."

"You WHAT?" Jack asked angrily, closing the distance and yanking me out of my chair. "The HELL you are! You..."

I was too surprised to react, looking up at Jack in terror as he gripped my arms. The fist that came out of nowhere and landed with a sickening crunch on Jack's nose made me scream. A hand caught my arm as Jack released me, his hands going to his nose that was spouting blood.

I scrambled up, holding on to my Pa's arm as he held me steady, looking in shock as Jack tilted his head back and held his nose.

"Get out of my house, boy," Pa demanded. "Don't you ever come back here again or even look her direction. I'd prefer you decided to move yourself elsewhere, I don't want you nowhere close."

"Sir!" Jack panted.

"I SAID GET OUT!" Pa yelled. "Next time I see you near her I'll shoot you instead of just hitting you! You ever lay a hand on another lady and I hear tell of it, you won't have a hand anymore. Go!"

Jack left, stumbling out the door and I stared in wide eyed shock.

"You alright, Sprout? He hurt you?"

"No Pa, just startled me is all," I answered faintly, then turned to look up at him. His face was red and I had never seen him so angry.

"You stayin' home or goin' on to school?" he asked, looking away, like he was ashamed of his anger.

"School... I guess. Sorry, Pa."

"Don't you be sorry! That wasn't on you! I'm sorry I never saw it in him sooner. Go on then if you are goin', you're already late."

I ran upstairs to get my things, then left, running to school. I arrived breathless and still confused, rushing in after class had already started.

Everyone looked at me and I turned away, blushing as I hung my coat up and hurried to my desk. Mr Whittier looked at me in shock and jumped up.

"Cass! Is... that your blood?!?"

I looked down where he was looking at the blood on my dress. "I... no sir. No, sorry!" I cried, jumping up to run out to the water pump to try and clean it off of me.

Lizzie followed me out and I sat down when her hand touched my shoulder, sobbing. "Cass?" she asked softly, sitting next to me to hug me. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Jack! He came this morning and... he got mad, grabbed me, and Pa... he hit him! Ran him off. It's his blood. He had hold of me when Pa hit him. There was so much blood! I should have thought to change, known it was all over me! I need to go home!"

"Hush now. Here. You just wear my pinafore," she said, pulling off the crisp, white apron pinafore she always wore over her dresses.

"I can't, it's too big! It would..."

"I will pin it up. Not another word," she said, fitting the apron on me and trying to pull it tight.

The room was silent when we went back in, Lizzie leading me by the shoulder. They were all staring at me, Mr Whittier with a pale, shocked expression. I sat down with my head down, still feeling overwhelmed.

I shouldn't have come to school, but I had wanted away from what had happened, I hadn't considered school might be that last place I should be. I wished I had another place I could go.

When break came, I almost went outside with Lizzie, too afraid to stay and answer any questions Mr Whittier might have. Instead, I stayed in my chair and stared down at my book, hoping he got the hint.

He did not.

"Are you well, Cass?" he asked softly.

"Yes sir."

"If you need to go home, I will excuse you for the day."

"Thank you sir. I will stay."

"If you change your mind, just raise your hand at any point and you may go."

I nodded, but he left it at that. Nothing else. A teacher asking after his student, that was all, just professional. I felt relief rise up, grateful that he wasn't pressing, but that he had let me know he cared. I relaxed and closed my eyes, glad I didn't have him to stress about too.

A moment later, the door opened and I looked back. Dewitt stormed up to me, Ephram and Lizzie close behind him. "That really Jacks blood?" he demanded from a few steps away. "You sicced your Pa on him?"

"No! No, he came to my house and came after me again, grabbed me all angry, screaming at me! Pa hit him after he grabbed me and screamed at me! Made him get out of our house! Pa'd never hurt anyone unless they was hurtin' me!"

"Jack has been in love with you for YEARS, Cass, what you are doing to him ain't fair! Making him sick with jealousy, toyin' with his heart because you can! I never knew you was so cruel! You are all he has wanted since we was little and you are triflin' with him! Workin' him up and laughin' at him! Makin' people think he is a bad person when you know he aint!"

"That isn't true!"

"I have known him my whole life, you have too! This ain't fair what you are doin to him. You get one useless little prig smiling your way and you toss Jack aside like he's nothing, toyin' with him, makin' him jealous!"

"That is enough!" Mr Whittier snapped. "Dewitt Hirsch, I will not hear another word of this, none of this is her fault and you well know it! One more word and you will be expelled right alongside of him for bullying my students!"

"That suits me! Little dandy like you using your position to try and humble better men. You aint long for this job. They already sent off for someone else for next year since you are abusing your position to blatantly."

"You are expelled. Get out."

"Or what? You gonna throw me out? You ruin a man's life, tell lies on him all so you can use this girl as a shield to hide your degenerate ways? And you, Cass. You are nothing. A worthless little no one that Jack saw something in. He fell for you even though you are a nothing. A no one. Not good for a single thing at all! Look at you! What are you good for? You are nothing but a burden to anyone who would take you on. But Jack, he loved you anyway! This is the thanks he gets? You making him jealous, making him look bad, makin him miserable? He aches for you and I don't know why. Look at you. You ain't nothin. I hope he wises up and moves on, shows you how much better he can do than the likes of you. And you, you little prig. You better watch yourself. I won't hit a girl, so that little bitch is safe, but you. You ain't quite a girl, are ya? You have it comin. Watch your back, I will be comin for ya. Me and Jack both."

Dewitt spat on the floor at Mr Whittier's feet, then turned and left. Peter hesitated at the door, then followed him. Ephram stood there, red faced, then very deliberately put his hand on Lizzies shoulder and stayed quiet.

"Cass," Mr Whittier said softly, his face bright red.

"I want to go home!" I managed before breaking down into tears.

"I will take her," Ephram said softly. "On my honor, I will see her safely home. Liz... I aint like them, you know that, right?"

"I do," Lizzie said quickly, squeezing his hand.

He nodded. "I will get my pa's wagon," he said, hurrying out the door.

"Lizzie, please, go keep the other students outside for a while? Until he returns to take her home?"

Lizzie nodded, then left and Mr Whittier came around the desk and took a knee in front of me, taking my hand in his.

"I am sorry, Cass. This is all..."

"None of this is your fault. I... I am glad. If you hadn't done what you had, he would have just told me after school was done and I probably would have been so happy about it, I would have gone along with it. I wouldn't have seen till it was too late what he was. Now, I see him. I see him and I see you. I'm sorry if this gets you into trouble."

He shrugged. "I wasn't planning on staying on after this year anyway, one way or another. Had you said no, I would want to leave. Had you said yes, I couldn't stay. So there is that. Cass..."

"Are you still coming on Saturday?" I asked, looking away. "I may not come back to school this week."

"Do you still want me to?"

"Yes."

"Then I will be there."

I nodded and tried to wipe my eyes.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly, sounding helpless.

"Not that you aren't already doing. Thank you sir... Sterling. I'm sorry he said those awful things to you."

He shrugged. "Words mean little to me. I know who I am, that is all that matters. And you. Showing you who I truly am. I wish I could do more for you, Cass. I am at a loss as to what to do."

"It's fine. My Pa will keep me safe the next few days until I feel like coming back. Thank you."

He nodded, staying quiet until Lizzie stepped in to say Ephram was there with the wagon.

Pa was surprised to see me, but I said nothing as I fled to my room to curl up and wish I were somewhere far away from here.

He came up an hour later, knocking on my door softly. "Sprout?"

"Sorry pa, I don't feel much like talking."

"Eph told me what happened. What was said. None of it's true you know. Boy like Dewitt Hirsch, he's about as useless as they come. Don't you mind a single word that boy has to say. You alright?"

"Yes Pa. Just... sad. Heartbroken. I don't understand what happened at all... it's all just been a big mess. And happening so fast."

"Don't you worry on it. I'll take care of Jack and Dew. Pete too if it comes to it. Eph said he took off with Dew. Look at me, Sprout. Them boys won't come around here bothering you or saying anything else."

"Thanks Pa."

"Why don't you come down? Curl up with one of them books you like so much and we will sit together while I fix that harness needs fixin?"

I gave him a wan smile and nodded. I spent the day next to him, reading and just feeling safe.

The next day too.

That afternoon, Ephram came by, knocking on the door. Pa let him in, Ephram looking pale and upset. "Sorry to intrude, sir," Ephram said softly. "Just thought you should both know... there was no school today. Someone... or a couple someones," he said blushing furiously, "roughed Mr Whittier up pretty bad. Doc said it was real bad. They came close to... committin' murder he said."

I stood up, my hands going to my stomach as I felt sick.

Pa put a hand on my shoulder. "Where is he? His home or docs?"

"Docs. He said he can't send him home, no one is there to care for him and he needs carin' for. Liz... Liz said you would want to know and I promised her I would come and tell you," Ephram said, blushing again.

"Thank you, Ephram," I said softly. "I am glad she has you, you are the good one of the bunch." I turned to look up at my pa.

He nodded. "I will hitch the wagon," he said, then hurried out.

Ephram was still blushing and looking miserable. "Sorry all this happened, Cass," he said finally. "We really did all think that you knew. The way he talked..."

"It isn't your fault, Eph. Thank you for coming and letting us know. Will you let Liz know I am ok? Pa has kept my spirits up and kept me feeling safe. I feel much better."

He nodded, then left. I hurried and got a blanket and pillow to make a pallet in the back of the wagon.