The Valentine

Jack took off towards the woods and the crack of the rifle made me drop to my knees and cover my ears with a scream.

I couldn't look up. Was he dead? Had Pa shot him?

"Next time it's through your head, boy," Pa grated. "Start walking. Cass, come on, take my hand. Hold on to my arm tight, I have you," he said to me.

The next hour was one of the worst of my life. Telling the Sheriff what happened, Jack denying it. The Sheriff shook his head. "Boy, I think you need to just shut your mouth. You have done nothing but lie since all this started. You think I don't know a liar when I see one? I was willing to look away when you roughed up the prig, but I won't hold with rape. You just shut your mouth and wait for the trial in that cell. Judge comes through in five weeks. You know what the penalty is for that, boy? Death by hangin'. You best hope you're able to ask for mercy. She comes up pregnant, there'll be none of it."

"No! No, she wasn't even a virgin! She's been with Mr Whittier!"

"The prig?" the sheriff asked laughing. "Shut your lies, boy."

Jack was still trying to talk his way out of it when Pa led me outside to walk home. I was tired and miserable and sad.

"Will they really hang him?" I asked when we were halfway there.

"Yeah."

I said nothing, just feeling despondent.

I went to bed when we got home and didn't get up the next morning, just staring at the wall when Pa called up.

He came up to my door. "Sprout? You need me to get doc to come out?"

"No. Just don't feel up to moving much today. Pa?"

"Yes?"

"You ever think on going back east?"

"Sometimes."

"Books say it's different back there."

"It is."

"So why don't you?"

"Money. Things cost more back east. We have the house and the farm and the farm makes us enough to keep food in our bellies, but not much more. It costs a bit to move, more to get a house to live in. I know farming. Not much open land back east. My place is here."

"Your place? Not my place?"

"You were always like your ma. Her place was back east too, she was never meant for this life. I've always seen that. That's why I see that you always have your nickel a week to get your stories. They were as close as I could get you."

"Pa?"

"Yes Sprout?"

"You ever think on getting married again?"

"No. No, I could never find a woman like your Ma and she is all I have ever wanted."

"You really think she might be out there?"

"No. No, I think she is gone. I am fairly certain if it. But sometimes, sometimes I dream she walks through that door and for that moment, I have happiness again. I wake up and I can hold on to it for a little while, happy I got to talk with her and hold her. Got to tell her about you and how proud I am of you."

I thought about that for a while and wished I could remember her enough to have dreams of her. Talk to her. Pa left quietly and I didn't notice him going. Not until he came back.

"Sprout?"

"Yes Pa?"

"It's getting pretty late and you have company."

"I do? Is it Liz? Did she hear about what happened?"

"No, it's Sterling. You invited him, remember?"

I sat up, horrified. I had forgotten!

"Should I tell him it's not a good time?"

"Umm... no. It's ok. He's going to find out soon enough anyway, may as well be from me. That way he can leave all the sooner before the town runs him out like they are planning," I said sadly, standing. I brushed my hair, going over what I should say, then finally went downstairs.

Sterling smiled at me, but I couldn't smile back as I looked down sadly.

"Hello, come in and have a seat. I need to talk to you" I said, my face red. "Pa?" I asked.

Pa nodded and followed us into the living room as we all sat down, Sterling looking nervous.

I swallowed hard, then told him what happened in a general sort of way, staring down at hy hands the whole time. "So... you see, it's no longer an option for me to be courted or anything like that. I know you have plans to move on and you should as soon as you can. Some of the folks in town plan to get rough and send you off."

I went quiet after that and there was no sound, not a peep. I glanced up and Sterling was looking at me with his mouth open. He looked over at my Pa and my Pa shrugged.

"I have no idea where she came up with it," he said.

Sterling looked back to me, closing his mouth as he stood up. "Cassandra... what happened to you is not your fault at all, and it does not make you less in any way. Least of all to me. You are still worthy and never think otherwise. The ONLY person who is less here is Jack Rafferty for doing as he did. No, Cassandra, look at me. Hear me. You are not ruined, you are still completely perfect. Do you understand? Any man who thinks that is not so is not worth your time at all. I know what this town intends, and I refuse to be run off or intimidated by a bunch of cowards who won't say anything to my face, but hide behind a mob in the dark. I will stay and I will court you until the day you say yes to me, or tell me I am wasting my time. That is the day I will leave here. My hope is you will be with me when I go. I still have an open position waiting for me in Charleston at the college there and my family home is there."

"Your pa... Isaac Whittier?" Pa asked, frowning.

"Grandfather," Sterling said with a nod.

Pa's eyebrows shot up high. "What are you doing out here?!?"

"Searching for adventure," Sterling answered, rolling his eyes. "After... after I called off my engagement to Lillian Westmorelands daughter, I decided I wanted to see more of the world. I saw an ad that said teachers were needed out west. Took a train to St Louis, picked up a paper and came straight to the first ad in the paper and applied in person."

"Victoria VanDenBurg?"

"Yes. You are... familiar, then?"

"Passingly. Her mother and I were from Charleston. Amelia Madison."

"You were the farm hand Amy took off with?" Sterling asked, surprised. "Her father was still cursing you till the day he went to his grave!"

I looked between the two, confused. "Wait... this doesn't mean we are kin, does it?" I asked warily.

"No. No, not at all," Sterling said quickly. "We are no relation to the Madisons, but we do run in the same social circles, you could say."

"He is saying that he is blue," Pa laughed.

"Blue?"

"A blue blood. Rich. He's from old money. Same sort of old money your ma and I ran from because they told her she couldn't marry me. I'll be damned. So you took off too, getting a taste of freedom. Can't say as I blame you. If Veronica is anything like her older sister, I would have run too."

Sterling chuckled, shaking his head. "They are similar, but... Veronica was actually even more of a bully. She thought my patience and quiet manner meant she could treat me as she pleased. I simply refused to allow her to walk on me and walked away. Her family was not very forgiving."

"They never were. But you are going back?"

"Yes. As I said, I have a teaching position there. I do love teaching and college students... are much happier to learn than the kids out here. If Cassandra agrees to come with me... she will have a very good life."

"Will your people accept her?"

"She is half Madison! Also, my family is less... demanding when it comes to love. We do not have to marry into money unless we wish it. It was Veronica's parents who tried to pair her and I. She was very against it, she hated that I was shorter than she was and never let me forget it for a moment. She couldn't break the engagement, only I could. She was relieved, I think, even if she was angry that I spurned her. I am told she was being courted by a Wallingford."

"I bet that was a much better match," Pa laughed.

I threw my hands up and went to the kitchen to cook dinner while they talked about people I knew nothing about. I never imagined my Pa knew anything about society back east! Or that my ma WAS society back east. Sterling was as well. He was from money. I couldn't imagine what that was like at all. What his family would be like.

I realized then that I was thinking about it in the terms that I was going to go and meet all of them. Like I had already said yes and it was going to happen. I thought that over as I cooked, then called the men in from their laughing and catching up.

I sat down at the other end of the table, closer to Sterling.

"Pa?" I asked, still thinking.

"Yes Sprout?" he asked happily.

"If I were to leave here, would you miss me too much? Would it hurt you?"

"Of course I would miss you, but I would be happy if you were happy. I wouldn't want you to stay for me."

I nodded and poked at my food, still thinking. "Would you consider another wife?" I asked after a moment.

He chuckled.

"I'm serious. You never take care of yourself like you should, you never eat a hot meal unless I cook it. There are four widows your age in this town, you could at least ask after them and see if you might like one of them."

"Sprout, I told you..."

"I know. You could never love like that again, but you could at least find some small happiness! And someone to help you that you could help too. Make her happy. Bring happiness to each other."

He sighed. "Ok. if I said I would pay... Ms Harper a visit, would that suffice?"

I grinned. "That was a quick decision. Seems to me you already had her in mind."

Spots of color came up on his cheeks as he ignored me and ate.

"Ms Harper... she is the one with the two boys, right? The one who has been coming into town to see about working at the inn some evenings? The one I heard tell was young and pretty? Have you met her yet?"

"I have."

"I see. More than once?"

"I've seen her in passing a time or two. Church more often than not. You'd know if you came with me. She may have asked me out for a meal a time or two."

"That so? Two Sundays ago when you 'went hunting' but left without your rifle?"

"Maybe," he answered, looking away at the wall. "You're talkin' like you have your mind all set," he said, turning the tables on me. "Should I be asking the parson to stay after church tomorrow?"

"Pa!"

"What? Am I off my mark? You've all but decided so far as I can see, trying to see me taken care of after you go. Asking if I would miss you too much."

"I was just thinking out loud is all!"

"Of course," he teased. "I've finished up here. I'm going out to the barn and finish up a few things that need doin'."

He got up and left, leaving Sterling and I sitting there alone. I couldn't look at him, I was far too embarrassed.

"This is very good," he offered.

"Thanks."

"You aren't eating."

"Not much appetite."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, I should have walked you home."

"You could barely stand yesterday! And you had your own problems to think about. It's not your fault."

"There is the question of if you do get with child," he said softly.

"I suppose there is. Perhaps, if you wish to, we should wait a few months?"

"No. No, I don't care, Cass. If you are... I will claim it as my own. If you choose to allow me to court you... I don't want to assume anything."

"I am finished. Are you finished?"

"Yes."

"Were we still going to walk? Do you feel like walking? If not we can sit and talk on the couch."

"I can walk, as long as you don't want to hike up a mountain or anything," he said with a smile.

I hopped up and went to the door, eager to be something besides sitting there awkwardly. He followed me, still smiling.

As soon as I turned towards the woods behind the house on the other side of the girls, he caught up and took hold of my hand. I let him, blushing as I looked back towards the barn. Was holding hands ok? Would Pa disapprove? He wasn't in sight. I looked back towards the woods, leading the way to my favorite spot by the creek where I liked to sit and read.

"You can slow down a bit if you like," he said, his voice strained.

I turned and looked up at him, then blushed, horrified and slowed down. He looked pale and drawn. I was so used to not being able to keep up with people who all had longer legs. I walked next to him slowly, glancing up at him sideways as we watched, trying to judge how badly he was hurting.

"What is your home like?" I asked, trying to get his mind off of it.

"I assume you mean back in Charleston and not the little hole they have me in here," he answered with a forced smile.

"Yeah. Back east. What's it like?"

"Very different. A lot more people, a lot less... open. The people are different. People like Jake Rafferty wouldn't be put up with. That mob mindset that allows people like him wouldn't have a place. It's very different out here. People are more cruel and savage. It's a hard land and it makes the people harder."

"Are the houses the same?"

"No. Well, some. Not where I am from. The houses are older, grander, larger. There are gardens that are for nothing but walking and looking at, with flowers and small ponds. Shops for small things, and not one store for everything. There are stores for nothing but sweets, and books, and things like that. There are so many more people. If you walk into the city, you wouldn't know nine out of ten people. If you knew one, it might be just in passing. Not like here where you know everyone you see unless it's a stranger passing through."

"Here, this is where I sit and watch the creek," I said, interjecting to sit on the fallen tree.

He sat with me, turned to face me and looked over my face as I looked up at him. "You come here to be alone?"

"When it's warmer, especially in the summer. I like to read here."

"I wondered what you did with your summer's last year. I never saw you in town."

"Yeah, my Pa would go into town on Sunday and go to church, then pick up my stories. During school I pick them up on Saturday. You wondered about me last year?"

He smiled shyly. "I noticed how smart you were the first week I was here. I noticed how sweet you were after that, how beautiful you were after that. You grew into a stunning and exceptional young woman."

"You... thought about me in that way last year?"

"I saw you as a young woman, but waited until you were at least close to being out of school and of age before I acknowledged it. Does that bother you?"

"No! No, I just thought... I didn't think anyone noticed me at all. I didn't think I was worth noticing."

"Everyone noticed you, Cass. Everyone. I saw the way all those boys looked at you, especially Jack. Maybe not Dew, he hero worshipped Jack too much, but all the others. They never looked where he could see, but they all looked. The older boys too, when you were younger. You just never noticed. All you noticed was that they never talked to you or tried to get your attention."

"They did? Look at me?"

"They did. Not just look at you, but look at you like they wished you would notice them. Cass?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to come back to Charleston with me. I know I am supposed to court you and ask your Pa and then you... but I fear time is against us in this. Would you consider it? Consider me?"

"I... might."

"You might?"

"Yes. I might. If you can kiss well enough," I said boldly, ruining it by blushing furiously.

He grinned and reached up with his free hand to touch my face. "I may be out of practice," he whispered, then leaned closer and gently kissed me, a bare brush of lips before pausing and pulling back. He looked at me a long moment and I stared up at his big brown eyes, a little in awe of him. He leaned close and kissed me again, still gentle but longer this time as he slid his hand around my jaw and pulled me closer. I reached up, catching his wrist as he held me close and kissed him back, at least trying to.

He pulled back slightly and looked at me, his head pressed to mine. "Say yes, Cass?" he asked in a whisper.

"Are you a good man, Sterling? Not an awful man pretending and hiding who he is?"

He laughed. "I am exactly what you see, Cass. You have seen all of me. No secrets or hidden demons."

"Don't I have to stay for the trial?"

"You can give your sworn testimony to the sheriff."

I nodded, thinking it over. "When were you thinking?"

"Next stagecoach out East is Wednesday."

"That soon?" I asked, surprised. "I... you'd have to talk to my pa. And maybe come by tomorrow as well... have supper again."

He chuckled again. "Cass... if it's what you want, I will take you back to Charleston and woo you properly. Court you, walk out with you, write you letters and recite poetry like the men in your books. I will wait a year and ask you on bended knee on a moonlit night under the stars to be my bride."

"It doesn't have to be like the books... just... a little normal. And... I just want to feel like I am worth it. Does that make sense? I am worth trying for, just a little?"

"Of course it does, and you are worth trying for. Cass, you are worth everything. Say the word and I will stay here and court you as you wish for as long as you like. Until you are ready."

I felt my face burning again. "I don't want you to stay and maybe get hurt. They'll all be twice as upset now, especially Dew and the others. Once they find out Jack is in jail and set to be... tried... they will be out for blood. I'm not even sure we should wait for Wednesday, maybe ride to Strasburg right away and get the stagecoach from there."

"We?" he asked, smiling.

I looked down, unable to keep the smile from my lips as I realized what I had said. "Well. They'll all be mad at me too," I said softly.

"That's the only reason?"

"I guess... you kiss well enough. I may have to do more research on that. We'll see. And maybe I can get you to loosen up a bit on what you are willing to read. It can't be all work all the time."

He laughed lightly, shaking his head. "I refuse to read any of your awful penny stories."

"They aren't so bad! And I didn't mean them. I read other books too!"

"We'll see. Come back to Charleston, Cass. Marry me."

I smiled again, looking down. "Are you telling me to, or asking me to?"

"Asking! I am asking you, Cass. Please, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

My smile broadened as I giggled and looked down at our hands.

"Is that a yes?"

"Ask my Pa and if he says yes..." I said, looking around at everything but him.

He stood up, pulling me up and started back towards the house. I laughed then at his eagerness as he smiled at me proudly.

Had I once thought him too prim and proper? Too reserved and quiet? Boring? He was none of those.

Pa was inside when we got back and he looked up and smiled at us, his eyes going to our hands. I pulled my hand away quickly as if we were caught doing something wrong, but Sterling grinned and took hold of it again as he led me to stand in front of Pa.

"Sir? I would like to ask your permission to marry your daughter."

"That's her call, but you have my blessing. Cass?"

"You're sure you'll be ok here alone?" I asked, my heart pounding.

"I will be just fine. I will even call on Ms Harper again."

"We would have to leave soon. Wednesday, maybe sooner if folks get worked up over Jack being in jail."

"I understand, that seems like a good idea. You thinking on trying to marry here or waiting till Charleston?"

"Charleston," Sterling answered. "I don't think it would go over well here. Not with the way things are going."

"I even thought we might have to leave for Strasburg and get the stagecoach from there," I said softly.

Pa nodded. "Let me go to church in the morning and feel things out. Sterling, you can sleep on our couch again tonight, just in case. If things are bad, I will go by your place and get your things, bring them back here. That way I can take you and drop you off and no one will be the wiser."

"I appreciate that, Tom," Sterling said with a smile.

Pa gave him a nod. "Take care of my girl. Sprout, you be good. Write often. Let me know when it's time for grandkids and I may head back that way and see them," he said with a sad smile.