Their Own World Ch. 04

"You didn't wait for me?" she asked, feigning hurt.

T held it up for her inspection. "I thought we could start a new tradition. Since you always claim that mine is the better, then steal it for your own, I thought we could choose each other's from now on."

Katie had a devilish expression when she said, "Oh yeah, I like that. I only did stuff like that to annoy you. Sometimes I fantasized that I'd annoy you so badly that you'd just end up kissing me, or more."

T was finally catching up to her when he replied, "Try and annoy me now and see what happens."

*****

Another 15-minute drive and they were at the location T had picked out. Katie had become quiet once they entered the city they went to high school in. The Boulevard in Lowell had heavy traffic of every kind and neither of them had ever been in the city without bumping into someone they knew. T pulled into a small gravel lot on the quieter side of the Merrimack River. In the afternoon on a Sunday, there were plenty of joggers, bikers, and dog walkers in the park they were heading towards.

"Damn, if there's one place we can't be us it's here," she commented as she got out of the car.

T followed her, adopting her silence as she walked to a nearby bench. Katie rarely carried a purse unless they were out on a longer excursion; however, that day she had an even larger bag. She stood in front of the bench, waiting for him to sit down.

Katie remained standing. "You seem nervous and it's honestly making me a bit nervous," he admitted.

"I am a little nervous but," she paused to look around for the closest people to them. "I love you more than I could ever love anyone. Sometimes I think, 'that's silly because I'm young and I don't know shit'. But then I think about who you are. I think about how long I've known I wanted you."

"And there's something in that bag that you think, what? You're going to scare me off?" he asked, patting the seat next to him.

Katie sat down, one leg under her other to face him, and took her red notebook out of the bag.

"Wow, that's an old one," he said.

"It's from 2000. I've added to it over the years." She handed it over to him, "It's in the back. You'll know when you see it," she explained.

T flipped to the end where he found roughly 30 pages stuck together. Isolating that section, he found they were tied together with strong thread. Smaller holes had been poked along the edges of all the pages to loop it through. It was probably the most imaginative lock he had ever seen.

"This is quite the security measure," he said.

Again she looked around before she said, "Loving you isn't legal, and don't forget we're probably going to hell too." She pulled a pair of scissors out for him to use.

"Well isn't this symbolic," he teased her, taking the scissors and cutting the plan open.

"Now just read it and save all questions and comments for after, please," Katie asked of him.

T gave her one last reassuring smile before opening the first few pages that were blank so it was impossible to read through. Continuing on, he found the first part was their kiss in the woods ten years ago. T glanced happily at her to show his recognition of where it all began. Katie was grateful, as she would be scrutinizing his every facial expression to gauge his reaction as he learned what no one else ever would. She was on the verge of a panic attack, hoping he wouldn't think her psychotic with the microscope she had placed on her imagined life with him.

It was definitely an 8-year-old's handwriting. With a quick description of the kiss, he felt his own guilt at the fact that he didn't see it as magically as she had. He reasoned that it did feel special for him as he had remembered it all those years; obviously, he had been in denial. As he read on to the part where she detailed their parent's opinion on sparks, he actually found it to be much less magical and more analytical. Even back then she was hell-bent on getting to the bottom of topics she found interesting.

As he turned the page to an older Katie's handwriting, now in cursive, he realized just how sure of herself she was. The next section was titled 'Katie Falls'. She had been so scientific about the kiss because she was not in love with him until a horrible time for both of them. Their Nanna's funeral was a completely inappropriate time for either of them to fall in love with someone, yet they both did. He looked up to her wanting to explain the other connection they had, but her finger up to her lips stopped him.

With much reservation, he decided to finish the section. It read like a diary entry from when she was 14.

2006

"Hopefully I won't be the only one to ever read this, but yesterday was my Nanna's funeral. For some messed up reason, it was also the day I'm pretty sure I fell in love. This better not be girl hormones and grief (Note to Self: Re-read over and over and over to ensure this was the time).

T and I always had a special relationship with our Da and Nanna. We lost Da a lot younger and it was our introduction to death. Nanna was different maybe because we're older now. We have a lot of cousins, mostly men with military or blue collar jobs. The rest of mom's side of the family comes from Southie, and at least a few members of our family are very interesting individuals; according to the half stories I keep overhearing. Maybe when I'm older I'll finally get to hear some of the stories all the way through. The point I'm trying to make is we have a lot of tough men & women in our family but the loss of our Nanna has greatly affected all of us.

We are the youngest grandchildren. Personally, I feel cheated for not having as much time with them as the rest of our cousins did. Dad was the rock for everyone. He's easily become the biggest non-blood favorite on mom's side. I'm trying to take it slowly. I've only cried alone where no one can see me and T does the same.

Anyways...Back to the point. I couldn't stop looking to T for how to handle this situation. He hasn't talked much and I get that he's trying to wrap his head around this like I am, but it was scary for a little while. I felt alone, more alone than I already did. The reception was back at our house; by then T was a completely different person. It was like he had finished grieving and felt responsible for helping everyone else along. He told stories about Nanna, specific stories about involving cousins to cheer them up; after a bit, it was a proper Irish funeral.

Finally, he brought me back to my room to apologize. I couldn't believe him, he actually thought he needed to apologize for not being there for me more. He told me it was all thanks to me that I somehow gave him the strength to be there for everyone else. He hugged me so tight, and I kissed him, on the lips! It was quick but oh my god was it sooooo sweet. He didn't even seem grossed out.

After mom and dad went to bed, I went down to his room to sleep with him. We've done it less and less since we moved to the new house. He welcomed me happily and we cuddled up. I was so nervous at first until I realized I wanted to kiss him again. I didn't because I just needed him to hold me. It was so nice sleeping with him, being surrounded by him.

God, this is so corny, but I feel like I slept next to a man last night for the first time; the man of my dreams. Right before we fell asleep he told me he loved me more than anyone. I sincerely hope one day he'll mean it the way I do now.

Update: A year later, I'm now 15, this was definitely the day I fell in love with him. In fact, I've fallen deeper and deeper every day since. K <3's T"

T looked up to find her eyes welled up with tears. "We really should've been alone for this," he said.

Katie smiled, T turned the page. The next section was titled "T Falls". It was blank since she had no idea when or if he felt that way.

"Okay, now I have to talk," he said.

"Save it until you read the whole thing," she told him.

"Babe, you have me forever. Nothing is this notebook is going to make me want you any less. It's quite the opposite actually. So do you want to hear how I fell in love with you?"

She nodded shyly and he began, "I don't really have a story just a ton of moments that I remember knowing without a doubt how I felt about you. I always scolded myself at some point after, trying to not feel that way. But, it would just happen again when you laughed, supported me, or basically did anything you do. I'd fall for you all over again."

T placed a hand palm up for her to take. When she looked around he said, "Katie, you can hold your brother's hand." She blushed and placed hers in his.

"You said I was completely different between the funeral and reception. I'm wicked flattered that you saw me as a man at 15. But that too was all you. In the church I was spiraling down, every thought I had was worse than the last; until you grabbed my hand and squeezed hard. I looked over at you and you had tears streaming down your face with this extremely positive smile. That's when you gave me strength. That's why I said I loved you more than anyone that night; I still do. The fastest way to stop my anxiety is to give me someone else to care about more. That's you."

"I want to do so much more than kiss you right now," Katie stated.

"You could drive and I could finish reading this in the car," he offered.

She considered but said, "Nah, finish it first."

Turning the page again was a section called "Aftermath". Again, it was also blank.

T glanced at her and she explained, "It's our future. We're supposed to fill it in together. Or that's what I thought; we don't actually have to write it down."

"What specifically about our future," he asked, wanting to know what she dreamed about.

"Like, where we would live someday, stuff like that. It's our life together. Also, I don't mean anytime soon and I know technically we can't; I want to marry you someday even if it's just a small secret ceremony with a few people."

She looked down on the last part and T had to lift her chin back up. Mainly she was nervous still, that she had gone too far.

"Will you marry me," he asked seriously.

Again he shattered her worries. "I will, someday. When you have a ring," she clarified happily.

He smiled, glad she still said yes. "Where do you want to live? Whoa, now that I think of it, you've never spoken about that ever," he realized.

"Care to guess why?" she asked rhetorically, gesturing to him. "If I admitted my feelings to you and you rejected me, I'd probably move to Alaska. If I never said anything, I'd probably be a dog-lady; living in mom n' dad's basement. But, that's not what happened so again, we'll figure it out together. We probably couldn't stay in Mass, or NH, maybe even New England altogether. Once we're wherever, we can just say we're married. My hair's way darker than yours so it's a bit more believable."

T grinned at her many ideas until an extremely sick feeling washed over him. "What about mom and dad?" he asked, hoping she had yet another answer.

Katie appeared to be momentarily pained by the thought. "We have to tell them someday. I've honestly tried not to focus too much on how they might respond. I know it'll be hard for you to lie, but I really want to experience us, be together for at least a year before we tell any more people about us. Am I right to assume we would only be stronger as a couple by then?"

"That's a good plan. And we have a lot more time to explore each other before we have to hide it, or move away," he agreed.

Ready to move on she turned the page, and whispered, "This is the part I thought might freak you out. You don't have to read it all, but I looked up incest laws; specifically for siblings. Stuff in yellow highlighter is places that we could be safer. Stuff in pink is places we could basically never live together, or shouldn't risk it."

"That doesn't freak me out or surprise me. You would have figured all this out already. You're the sexiest detective ever."

Katie blushed, "I feel so silly thinking any of this would bother you after last night," she admitted.

T smiled at her, glancing back down to the notebook. Right away he noticed Massachusetts was in pink. Looking further, it was easily one of the largest penalties. He turned the page before he got anymore nervous about their surroundings.

The next section was notes and tricks on how to seduce T. "Accidently" flashing him, the mirror above the washing machine so she could watch him watch her. Everything was there from his favorite porn scenes to tricks she had learned from friends over the years that boys liked.

"This is really hot," T commented, grinning up at her.

"I know so hurry up so we can go somewhere," Katie admitted equally horny.

The last section, thankfully, was an article Katie had written in high school. When T was 17, his girlfriend at the time, Allison, was cheating on him with his best friend, Andy. For whatever reason, the cheaters felt the need to twist the knife they had stuck in. First, Allison broke up with him on his birthday, then a couple weeks later spread around that T had forced himself on her multiple times in the past. To anyone that knew T well it was an obvious lie, but Andy taking Allison's side and being T's close friend, caused many to believe her story.

It was a dark time for T, he was hurt by the multiple betrayals and how many believed that he could do something so disgusting. He began skipping school and when he did attend he avoided everyone, whether they believed him or not. He had even begun to pull away from those that did believe him. T had always been able to control his anxiety, occasionally with his sister's support; nothing was helping that time. Unable to get through to her brother and bring him out of the hole alone, she focused on revenge.

Naturally, Katie wanted to pull Allison and Andy apart until they were one big unrecognizable pile of gore. Instead, she brought herself down to their level. Allison was part of a group of three other girls (yes, they were the mean girls). Andy had officially dug his way in, becoming the only guy they hung out with. The group had collected and used other's secrets against them to control people; Katie was going to expose theirs.

The red notebook contained all the research, spy notes, and details that made up the article. Though Katie was part of the school newspaper, the article's content would place her in almost as much trouble as the extortionist group. She printed 300 copies, signed anonymous, and there was a one in every locker by the next day.

The article told the whole school about the girls and Andy blackmailing other students and at least one teacher, who wasn't named. It dispelled some of the current nasty rumors about other students, including T, releasing them from the group's oppressive actions and peer's judgments. It contained a few witness accounts, other's the group had terrorized, including Cassie. With the expectation that sooner or later a teacher would get a hold of it, there was a small petition for the group to be disciplined harshly. All involved were punished accordingly, but more due to the second half of the article.

The mean girls had been much nicer to each other during their many weekly sleepovers. What started as a game of dare, quickly developed into heavy lesbian action. The most damning evidence against them was the few occasions Katie had witnessed the girls pleasuring each other during school. As it was a Catholic school, and not all parents were as open-minded as others, it had the unexpected effect of shattering the mean girl's group. The parents that weren't against same-sex experimentation were against the horrible influences their daughters had for friends.

Andy came out looking like a disloyal, lying, pervert. Katie had a particular grudge against T's ex-friend as the boy had been sleeping over their house for years and even come along on a couple family vacations. At one point, he had been like family and for that reason, Andy needed to burn for what he had done. His pathological lying was exposed, along with a few small yet embarrassing facts about him. The final nail in his coffin was another sex act during school hours that Katie had witnessed.

Andy was the girl's thug and doer of dirty work. He was paid mostly in handjobs which he eventually lost interest in. The school's boiler room was used by many horny teens over the years and that's where Katie saw Andy force one of the girls to blow him instead. She was one of the mean girls but still very reluctant to do so. Andy didn't care, forcing her onto her knees and having his way, also proving that he was guilty of what he had sworn T had done.

The group had been disbanded, shamed, and punished. After the girl who Andy had forced himself on was convinced by her parents, she gave an official statement about it to the principal and cops. It wasn't the only time Andy had done that to her or other girls in their group. It was slightly frustrating that the girls were treated much more gently after the revelation, but consent is consent. Andy was expelled and all that was known after was that he had moved far from the area across the state to find a school that hadn't already heard of his reputation.

T looked up at his sister, feeling a mix of emotions having relived his senior year.

"I always knew you wrote that article. No one else would've gone so far for me like you always have. Sister or not, I'm definitely the luckiest guy in the world."

Katie grinned, "I love you so much," she proclaimed quietly.

"And I love you," he agreed.

"I really want all this serious crap over with so we can get out of here. So all I have left to address is...This is obviously my first relationship, and my last," she asserted, shooting him his smile. "I want you to look at this like I do; like we have endless possibilities together."

"Easy, it's a deal. I already see you that way," he confirmed happily.

"Okay good, but what about Alex? Would it bother you if I keep fake-dating him? We have to kiss sometimes, not like crazy kiss...Not at all how I kiss you," she said with a giggle.

"Not at all, I think it's cool how you're helping him. Besides, if you think about it it's a really good cover for us. I might even lie about having some dates to mom and dad to make it more believable."

"T, oh my gods, did you just say you would lie for me?" she asked teasingly.

"I would kill for you, but you've known that since you were a baby," he said. Noticing her squirming on the bench, he asked, "You have to pee?"

She gave him a sly grin and said, "Nope, just really wet." Grabbing his hand, she led them back to the car.

Halfway there T stopped, causing her to turn around. "What about kids?" he asked, feeling really strange about the subject compared to everything else they had discussed.

"I don't know anything about that. The baby subject always seemed like going too far with future plans without you," Katie explained sadly.

"It's just a yes or no. Like you said, we don't have to figure it out today," T said.

"Yes then, I would love that if we are able. But if not, then you're enough for me. We can just get a bunch of dogs," Katie forced a laugh, trying to tone down the seriousness.

"We'll figure it out, someday," he assured her. With a smile and a nod, he gestured back to the car.

*****

Katie suggested T take the back roads back to Hudson. Since it was the fastest route from where they were in Lowell, he didn't catch the mischief behind it. As soon as they were on the long, mostly empty road back home, she began undoing her pants. Turning the radio down got his attention as she slipped her hand inside her jeans.

"I can't wait," she said lustily.

He took in the sight of his little sister fingering herself in his car before focusing back on the road. "You're unbelievable," he said, clearly happy with her insatiableness.