Threading the Needle Ch. 12

"Is he free?" Marika said, not bothering to return the greeting; nor did she introduce her friend.

"I think so," Jasmine said, rising from her chair. She turned and walked over to the open door to his office. "Samuel, your wife is here to see you," she said.

"Marika, here?" he said. His voice carried out to where they were waiting. "What does she want?"

Unseen, Jasmine used her hand to signal to keep his voice down. Samuel didn't always think before opening his mouth, so she was used to watching out for him. "I'm sure she'll tell you," she said. She turned and smiled at Marika. "You can go right in."

Brushing past her, Marika closed the door behind her. Yamile sat down and waited. Her dark eyes stared daggers at Jasmine. At first she didn't notice, but over time she felt the hostility directed at her. Looking up, she met Yamile's eyes but only for a moment. They were too intense to bear. She spent the rest of the time nervously trying to work on a spreadsheet but kept losing her train of thought and got almost nothing done.

Inside the office, Marika sat down in the chair facing Samuel's desk before he had a chance to stand up and give her a kiss. His confusion about why she was there showed in his face. It was rare for her to stop by the office.

"Is everything okay, honey?" he asked.

"No, it isn't. And you know it hasn't been for a long time. If things were okay, you wouldn't be fucking Jasmine on your lunch hours," Marika said. In the span of less than a second, Samuel's face showed guilt smoothly morphing into shocked innocence. Before he could say anything, she held up her hand. "Stop! Don't make it worse by lying. Samuel, I saw you coming out of a motel with another women. And I know about you taking Kieran on one of your dates with Jasmine!"

Now his face displayed panic. He stammered as he frantically thought about what to say, "Marika," he started to say. He trailed off into silence as she held up her hand again.

"I said don't try to lie. I don't think I could forgive you Jasmine, but maybe I could at least understand it. But Betty? Or that woman at the motel. And the woman from your customer down in Portland? And some random stranger in a bar?" Marika was crying now as she spoke. It wasn't sorrow, but instead they were from anger and frustration. "And taking Kieran out with Jasmine? I can never forgive or understand any of that!"

"Have you been following me, Marika?" Samuel asked with real anger in his voice. His face was turning an ugly shade of red.

"Thank god, no. It wasn't me, but yes I had you followed. And I have pictures," she said as she tossed an envelope on the table. "There's a disk with the pictures in there, just in case you don't believe me." She drew in a deep breath and then carefully placed a folder on his desk. She stared at him in the eyes. "I filed for divorce. This is your notice of that. I'll give you a fair settlement, 50/50. All of our joint accounts are closed, so get your own account. I already have mine. There is a check in there for your half." Her defiance burned on her face.

"And you don't live with us anymore. I booked you a hotel room. All of your stuff is packed up in storage," she said as she put a key card and a keyring with his storage space key on it. "The details are in there too."

Samuel looked down at the things she deposited in his desk. As he looked up, there was a burning fire in his eyes. "Do you think I'm just going to lay down for this?" he practically spat.

She glared right back at him. "Don't fuck with me, Samuel. I don't want to get nasty, but I will if I have to. This marriage is over, and I want to make the best of it, but I'll fight if I have to," she said, her voice rising. She was loud enough for her words to be heard through the door. Her voice dropped, not from an awareness that others could hear, but in a menacing way. "Samuel, if I have to, I'll burn you. I'll make sure that everyone knows about what you've been doing. And that includes your boss! What do you think she will say when she finds out you've been fucking the purchasing manager at your biggest customer?"

"You wouldn't dare! You won't be able to get anything out of me if I lose my job," Samuel said, although she hit him in a way he felt.

"I don't want you to lose your job, but if you do, Kieran and I will be okay. It will be harder than it needs to be, but I don't need you or any alimony. We make about the same. I'll expect child support, but that's because I expect you want to be part of raising Kieran. If you don't want that, then just let me know because I'd be perfectly happy if I never had to see you again," she said. The anger was slowly slipping away. Keeping up the emotion took too much out of her. She just felt tired now.

The angry fire still burned in Samuel's eyes, but he swallowed hard and tried to let it go. "Marika, please, we can work this out," he said.

"We can't. I can't forget these things, not ever. You aren't who I thought you were, Samuel," she said in a quiet dead tone. "Coke, Samuel? I can't believe that. You're lucky that the detective didn't take a picture of that. It doesn't make a difference to me, though." She met his eyes and saw guilt reflected there. He didn't even try to deny it.

"I don't want to be married to you anymore. Whatever love was still there has been killed. I just want to move on with the least pain possible." She took in a long shuddering breath. "Don't try to come to the house without calling. The locks are all changed and Tereza is going to live with me for a while. If there is something you need, we'll make arrangements."

Slowly Samuel lowered his head into his hands, slowly shaking it, "I still love you, Marika," he whispered.

"No Samuel. I think you love the idea of being married. Having someone to come home to for dinner and clean up after you. You love the job called wife, but I resign!" she said as she stood up. "Let me know when you have a lawyer. We can get together then and try to work out the details."

In the outer office, Yamile's anger was growing. Jasmine heard enough to guess what was happening. She was trying to stop from smiling but she still looked like the cat that ate the canary. "Bitch thinks this will make him available," she thought. "She's welcome to him, as far as I'm concerned." Underneath the anger, though, she also felt a small bit of pity for her. "She must think she is the only one. She's going to learn a hard lesson." Despite her awareness, she couldn't find any mercy for Jasmine. "Even if I wanted to say something, Marika doesn't want Samuel to get in trouble at work; and pissing Jasmine off could do that. Plus if he has someone to comfort him, it may go easier on Marika." The thought didn't make it easier to watch her, but Yamile at least could picture her getting her just reward sometime down the road.

The door opened and Marika came out. Her face was pale with a few tears still trickling down her face. Yamile pulled out one of the tissues she'd brought and held it out for her. Marika gave her a weak smile and took it. Without a glance at Jasmine, she kept on walking towards the exit. She and Samuel were obviously louder than she thought. A few people were by the entrances to their offices, waiting to see what happened. They pretended not to look at her as she passed by. Other people were studiously trying to ignore what was going on, unwilling to be pulled into the drama.

Marika didn't care. "I just want to get out of here," she thought. Finally, as she reached the entrance, she couldn't help glancing over at the receptionist. She was almost always cheerful, but not now. There was no way that she could have overheard them. It was just too far away. Someone must have called her. Her eyes were full of sympathy and she gave Marika a little nod. She was an observant woman and clearly figured out what was going on between Samuel and Jasmine. Marika nodded back. She couldn't bring herself to say anything.

The receptionist watched through the glass door to the office as Marika and Yamile waited for the elevator to come. "Poor girl," she thought. "She was always better than he deserved." A long career as a receptionist allowed her to pick up on the signs missed by almost everyone else. She guessed what was going on between Samuel and Jasmine as soon as it started; she just kept it to herself. She wondered now whether she should tell the young secretary about her suspicions about his trips down to Portland. The calls from the purchasing manager at Sandcrest were a little too frequent and too long.

"Jasmine's a bitch, but she's naïve too. Samuel isn't going to be faithful to anyone," she thought. There was no reason to rush, though. Maybe she would suggest that they ride together to one of the monthly lunches the admin staff had. "That will be enough time to see if she thinks it will be permanent."

As soon as the elevator doors closed, the tears started again and instinctively Yamile pulled her into a hug. She held Marika close even though her arms hung loosely at her sides. She didn't have the energy to return the hug, although the comfort it provided was welcome. Her head rested against Yamile's shoulder as she struggled to get her emotions back under control. Even when the elevator stopped part way down and other people got in, she couldn't manage to stop crying. They moved as far away from the two friends as possible and fidgeted uncomfortably in the quiet that was broken only by soft sobs.

When the door opened, Yamile turned a little and slipped her arm around Marika's waist. "Okay honey, we're here. Let's get out," she said. The others waited for them to get out and gave them a little space. Supporting her friend, Yamile led her out through the lobby and then along the sidewalk as they headed back to where they left the car. "I'll drive and we'll head straight home," she said after fishing the keys out of Marika's purse.

Marika nodded and got into the car without a word. All the way home, she hardly said a word. She just sat limply leaning against the door with her head pressed on the window. Her face felt hot and the cold glass felt good after her long cry.

As she drove, Yamile occasionally glanced over. There wasn't much to say, and she felt even less like trying to fill it with empty conversation. It wasn't long ago that she sat in the same way. Neither one of them thought the failure of Marika's marriage was in any way comparable to Claudio's death, but Yamile didn't think words would help much here either, at least now. Later would probably be different. They would stop on the way home to pick up Kieran and then her girls. They would all have dinner together, along with Tereza, Liz, and Winnie. None of them wanted to leave Marika alone tonight. Beyond her emotional state, all of her friends wanted to be there if Samuel showed up.

When they picked up Kieran, the news that Rosa and Paloma were coming over for dinner excited him. Both of them were frequent babysitters and were among his favorite bigger people. In turn, they adored him. Hearing him babble about what he wanted to do with his friends helped to pull Marika out of her stupor. She smiled as she listened to him, even though she realized she would need to try to explain what had happened between her and his daddy. She wasn't looking forward to that. Reaching Yamile's house was a welcome distraction. They must have been watching for the car because the girls burst out of the house as soon as they pulled up. Rosa locked up and then raced after her sister. They helped move Kieran's car seat so that he was in between them. The chatter of the kids kept Marika from dwelling any further on the difficulties that were ahead of her.

Both Liz and Winnie's vehicles were out front of the house, which at least put a little smile on Marika's lips. Most of the women with whom she felt really close would be gathered around her today. "Maybe I should call Lena and ask her to come over," she thought. After a moment, she shook her head. "Not with Liz here," she told herself. "I don't want to watch Liz play games with Lena's head tonight." She would be supportive, but Marika knew the power Liz had over her. It would be one thing if Liz was good for Lena, but she didn't think that was the case. The momentary smile faded. "Too much like Samuel," she thought.

When they got out of the car, Kieran came alongside her and took his mother's hand. That at least made her smile. No matter his faults, she wouldn't have Kieran without him. "Hi there, my little guy," she said.

"Hi Mommy. Is Daddy going to be home tonight?" he asked. It was an innocent question. Samuel's sales trips were a mystery to Kieran. Rarely paying attention when his parents talked about them, he just accepted them as they happened.

"No," Marika said. Like most of the aspects of the separation, she planned out when to talk to Kieran. Before having dinner after a full day was a bad idea, especially when Paloma and Rosa were here. Right now, he wanted to play with his two "girlfriends." She'd talk to him after dinner. "I don't know how he will react," she thought. Up until she started rafting, Samuel didn't spend a lot of time with Kieran, even on the weekends. The last few months forced them to hang out together and strengthened their bond somewhat.

"He also took Kieran with him to meet his girlfriend," she thought. More than anything else, that moment was the one that made her angriest. "All the other shit was him just being a male slut." Jasmine going with them to the zoo was a slap in the face that moved it beyond just a casual affair. "Like he was trying out a new mother," she thought.

"Mommy, don't squeeze my hand so hard!" Kieran admonished her, although he didn't let go.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't realize I was!" Marika said, loosening her grip immediately. She picked him up in her arms and gave him a hug.

He hugged her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I know. I love you, Mommy!" He wrapped his arms around her neck. He knew how to let her know that he wanted to be carried.

"My goodness, you are so big," she said with her most genuine smile of the day. "I'm not sure I can carry such a big boy!"

"Yes you can!" He squealed with a huge grin of his own. He held on even tighter. She laughed and carried him inside to the kitchen.

"Auntie Ewizabeth!" Kieran cried out when he saw her. He squirmed to get down so that he could hug her too.

"Hey there, kiddo!" Tereza said, which stopped his headlong rush over to his mother's best friend. They all laughed as his eyes went wide at seeing his actual aunt.

"Auntie Tereza!" He said as he looked around the room. It was full of his favorite people, except for a pretty blond woman that he didn't know. It was too much and he couldn't decide whom to hug first. Liz broke the deadlock by coming over and picking him up and giving him a squeeze. After her hug, she tossed him over to Tereza, who deftly caught the giggling boy in midair to give him a hug of her own.

Seeing and hearing her child giggling did more to pull Marika out of her mood than anything else could. "Girls, why don't you take Kieran into the family room and play with him," she told Yamile's daughters. As they left the room, she opened her mouth, but Winnie anticipated her. She held out a wineglass full of some of the Cab from the previous weekend. Marika caught the way her eyes sparkled and knew she was remembering the game. Despite everything, Marika blushed a little as she took the glass and their fingers brushed. "Thank you," she said, wondering if Winnie knew that her own mind was caught up in memories of how her lips felt.

"Good thing we are in a group," she thought. "If it was just Winnie and me, I might try and see if she would help me forget today. I don't want it to be like that." The final thought confused her, and she took a sip of wine to cover it. What was she looking for with Winnie? It wasn't just confusing; it scared her. She couldn't deny that over the last few months she found herself attracted to a number of women, including Winnie. Much of it was a way to feel good about herself at the same time she felt rejected by Samuel, but was it just that? "And why is Winnie the one that I thought about how I might want it to be?"

She couldn't answer the question, and she didn't want to try. It was all too nerve wracking at a time when she didn't need any more stress. She took another bigger sip of her wine. When she paid attention to the group again, they were talking about dinner. Tereza, Liz and Winnie worked together to make a big Italian meal with spaghetti, Caesar salads, and garlic bread. Unless they completely underestimated the collective appetites, there would be a lot of leftovers, but that was better than running out.

"I'll set the table," Marika started to say but everyone shouted her down.

"Like fuck you will," Liz said.

"Language!" Marika instantly said, looking around. Everyone else giggled, even Yamile.

Liz smiled at her. "I suspect the girls have heard that word once or twice before. And Kieran better get used to it, or some variant like "that fucker", or any number of alternatives. Asshole. Bastard. Dick. Wanker. Ohh, wanker, that's a good one. Not quite a swear word," Liz said.

Marika couldn't help smiling back as she shook her head. "Not from me, I hope." She met their incredulous looks. "I'm serious. He may be an asshole, a bastard, a dick, a wanker, and a good for nothing son of a bitch, but I'm going to do my best to never say anything like that to Kieran. It's not his fault that this happened, and I don't think it will be good for him if I trash his father," she said. "I don't want any of you to either." Despite saying it to all of them, her eyes locked on Liz.

For a moment, Liz glared defiantly back, but finally she broke and nodded. "Alright, alright. I'll do my best. But I swear Rikki, if he does some dick move, I may not be able to help myself."

"I know, and I love you for your loyalty, Elizabeth. I just don't want Kieran to feel like his parents are always fighting," she said as she moved over to give Liz a hug. Both of them held on tight. When she let go, Marika felt the beginning of a new round of tears.

To distract herself, she peeked into the family room. Rather than playing, Rosa was reading to Kieran as Paloma held him in her lap. It was his favorite book. She laughed as he stopped Rosa when she didn't get the voices just right and made her do it over again. "Good. He'll be in a nice mood after dinner," she thought.

She felt someone come up beside her and an arm go around her waist. A moment later, Yamile rested her head against hers. Marika leaned against her, appreciating the strength of her friend. "Your girls are so adorable with him," she said as she looked at Yamile.

Close up like that, she noticed just how lovely she was. Her cocoa skin was almost unblemished, with just the first faint hints of growing older. She had big eyes of brown that were unusually warm and loving. While some might think that her mouth was a tad big, Marika decided that it just made her full lips even more intriguing. Most importantly, everything worked together. "I can see why Liz couldn't help coming on to her back at those parties," she thought.

Yamile wasn't the only woman with whom Liz flirted at the parties she and Samuel threw. She was actually somewhat well known for it. Some of the women who responded to it surprised Marika. Yamile wasn't one of them, but she also wasn't offended. She let Liz know that she was happily married to Claudio. Being rejected didn't bother Liz either. She lived by the philosophy of nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Despite feeling the initial stirrings of arousal, Marika didn't pull away; or maybe it was because of it. She couldn't decide. Trying to think back, she couldn't remember if her interest in Lena, Winnie, and now Yamile started before things really fell apart with Samuel. "Probably," she thought, "although it's certainly increased since then." When Yamile hugged her again, then let go, and returned to the kitchen where everyone else was, Marika turned and watched her walk away. "She may not have a hot young body like Winnie, but she is a gorgeous woman," Marika told herself. Her hips were a little wider and her ass more rounded, but it swayed almost hypnotically as she walked. With a little sigh, she followed.