To Have a Sweetheart - David Ch. 06

Huh. I didn't expect that. I really hadn't expected that. Glancing at Luke it seemed that neither had he. In all honesty, he seemed even more stunned by the news than I was. I mean, I hadn't even thought about buying. It was something fen-fifteen years away for me in my head, but hey, I wasn't going to complain either.

My heart rate skyrocketed as she continued with the words "This isn't how I'd ever have expected you to find love," but steadily calmed as she continued "But I couldn't imagine a better companion and lover than you have."

I'd have expected any kind of reaction from Luke, but he seemed to be absolutely frozen in the moment. I disliked it. It wasn't a conversation where I wasn't supposed to be any more than just a listener, but I didn't seem to have a choice as Luke was just unresponsive. As the moment of silence dragged almost awkwardly long, I finally said, just so that anything would be said, "Thank you Ellie, I really appreciate you saying that."

Ellie looked at Luke for a moment, thinned her lips and stood up after a small nod. She seemed as worried over Lukes reaction as I was. After noting that she'll let us two get back to our doings, she left with the same worried look she stood up with.

Honestly, I was glad she left. It was great news and all, but Luke's reaction felt very unsettling for me. The door closing behind her, I asked "You okay?" just to be left without an answer. He just sat there, his lips thin, immobile and staring into the emptiness with a blank look on his face.

I could only wonder what was going on in his head and honestly, I didn't have many ideas and I myself was getting fairly worried. I mean, even if he didn't want the money, he could just turn it down and if he did want it, then yay. What was the deal?

As the silence grew unbearable for me, I demanded "Luke, please start talking to me." But instead of saying anything, he swiftly got up, slammed the paper on the table and followed after Ellie.

I scoffed after him and just sat there baffled for a moment and then, without even taking a look at the paper myself, followed after him, eager to get any clarity on the situation.

I opened the door in a rush, just to freeze midway hearing Luke snarl at Ellie "You wanted me to be able to settle comfortably when I find love?!"

With my foot in midstep, I slowly lowered it, feeling as if the culmination of the situation was coming and it wasn't something I was going to like. The air in the house was too thick to cut and I felt like the entire blood drained from my body. The thumping beats of my heart echoed through my body and all I wanted was just to go back to cuddling in the bed when everything seemed so endlessly perfect.

The silence dragged until he raged "Remember I got married once? Nice girl, lived here for five years," the conversation definitely not heading anywhere where it didn't hurt.

"Son-" Ellie began, but Luke cut her off, fuming "Five years and you didn't say a thing! Not once!"

"And what kind of a mother would that have made me?!" Ellie snapped back emotionally.

"What kind of a mother does this make you?" Luke muttered dejectedly.

After a moment of pause, I heard boots being pulled on and Ellie cry after him "I did hope I was wrong!"

In response I just heard the front door close. Still standing in the middle of the doorway, I felt miserable. My entire world got flipped upside down in a few minutes and I had just the vaguest of ideas where everything ended up or what I needed to do.

Hearing Ellie softly cry in the living room had me torn. Wondering if I should go to her, follow Luke or to stay out of it all. In a way it wasn't my fight, but at the same time it had everything to do with me. On a level I could understand Ellie, understand Luke, but there was hell of a lot that I couldn't understand. And of course I couldn't, I hadn't been there. They had. All three of them had lived in the same house for five years while I'd been in god damn secondary school.

For the moment I figured I should just stay out of it until things cooled. Both of them probably needed to process and calm down a little. Surely Ellie had some justification that made it all alright and Luke just needed to see that there had been no harm meant.

So I just snook back upstairs to our bedroom and just laid down, wondering, hoping that my life'd still be the same. Wondering what was going on in Luke's head. If he really felt betrayed. If I should be giving him space or be by his side in all of this. If his need for space would weigh over my need to know how he was doing. How we were doing.

I sighed and went back downstairs, not willing to stay out of the know. It was my life too. We decided to share a life and that meant the bad things too. His car was still there, but sadly I didn't really have the slightest clue where he could have gone and it wasn't like there wasn't a god damned acreage of land he could be on. If he even was on that acreage.

But I still pulled on my shoes, figuring it was better to at least try and look than to not even try. I saw Ellie from the corner of my eye and looked at her as I put my coat on. She wasn't crying any longer, but still looked a little flushed. I didn't really know if I'd be saying anything to her, needless to say I didn't know what it'd be that I'd say either.

"I was going to give it to them." she said dejectedly as I turned to leave and I didn't really know what to say to that. It really wasn't my fight. I barely knew what the fight was about.

"For their fifth anniversary," she carried on, "But she got ahead of me."

So that was her side of the story, the short version at least, but even so, I wasn't the one to judge. I was merely a bystander, so I just nodded and asked "You know where I could find him?"

"The boat ramp, maybe."

Luke'd once taken me there before. Told me stories how he had pretended to go sailing to far lands, even as the furthest point one could paddle to was maybe fifty meters away before the stream turned too narrow to follow and that made me wonder why there of all the places. Hell, why'd they even built a boat ramp somewhere from where you couldn't boat anywhere.

It was crispy cold outside and I cursed that I hadn't had the logic of wearing a sweater under my coat, but it wasn't like I was gonna go back either. I saw him sitting there from far away. Even as he must have clearly heard me coming, he glanced at me just as I sat down next to him. Hell, I couldn't even call that a glance. Maybe at my toes, but that wasn't really even a glance.

"What's going on?" I finally asked, finally looking at him for the first time. Seeing his face damp from tears, his eyes as depressed as ever.

He sighed and tried to dry his tears, but he didn't say anything.

I just shook my head in disbelief. If anything, he should have enough respect for me to even say that he didn't feel like talking, not just ignore me like that. I just couldn't control my rage and fumed "Fuck Luke, can you just god damned say anything?!"

"The fuck do you want me to say?!" he snapped back with his voice laced with tears.

"Anything! How you feeling?! Why the fuck you're sitting here all depressed?! What the hell was that all about?! Why the fuck ain't you suddenly talkin to me?!"

"You wanna-?! I'll fucking tell you!" he yelled as he got up, his burst of emotion scaring me a little, but I'd be stupid to think that I didn't provoke that myself. "I trusted her! I trusted her with everything! I asked her and I trusted her and she knew and she didn't say one thing in all'at time!"

"What you think she shoulda done? Huh? What is it that you'd have wanted her to do?" I asked in wonder, curious to see how his mother was suddenly to be blamed for everything.

"Tell me I was wrong! Ask me if I was really sure! Not just stand by and watch me make all those mistakes! Not let me ruin my god damn life right in front of her eyes!"

"Ruin your-?!" I began to ask in bafflement and jumped up myself. Ruin his fucking life? Was he seriously standing next to me and saying his life was ruined?! The anger in me was ready to boil over, but the last bit of rationality in me had me asking "You think your life's ruined?"

"At least I could have not made all those mistakes!" he declared as if it was the most obvious thing, absolutely not understanding my frustration. Mistakes. Mistakes that led him to me.

If that's what they were, then that was my que to leave.

"David!?" he called after me, but I didn't let that fret me as I stormed away from him, the first tears running down my cheek. All the anger had crumbled down into pure misery in an instant and I was sobbing the next.

I was barely a few metres away before I was janked back from my arm, making me land against his chest. I'd barely had the chance to regain from the air being knocked out of me, before he made me face him and I yelled "Don't touch me!" through my tears as I struggled away, but he didn't let me get away, grabbing me by my shoulders.

"Let me go!" I demanded as I hopelessly struggled against his strength.

"Wh-wh... What I said to hurt you?" he asked in confusion, his question hurting me even more. How could he say all of that and then ask that?

"Let me go!" I sobbed and there was no fighting strength left in me, so I just crumbled down on the ground.

Squatting next to me, he grabbed my face in both his hands, pleading "How did I hurt you?"

"Don't touch me!" I almost wailed.

"What'd I do?"

"If you ever had any respect for me, you'll let me go!" I pleaded through my tears and he did. Dropping back onto his heels, he sat there cluelessly, not understanding how he'd pulled the entire foundation of our relationship out from under me. Did we even understand our relationship the same?

I stumbled up and for the first time ever since PE class, I ran. I just ran to the house and didn't have one look back. Not having even taken my coat off, I rushed past Ellie on the stairs, pulled my suitcase out the very second I got in the bedroom and was packing as fast as I could.

I hated the voice of ration in my head, asking me if I was overreacting. Taking something Luke said when he was upset and turning it into something entirely else. But the other voice in my head cautioned with the exact opposite, maybe he was telling the most honest truth in his moment of dismay.

"David, stop." I heard his voice from the doorway. I just shook my head, blinking away tears that were still running.

"Please just stop packing." he asked again, his tone so soft and calm that it angered me.

"No." I cried and cursed that the things had to be folded properly so that the suitcase could close. Why the fuck couldn't I just throw everything in there and get out? Why did I have to fucking pack them properly, when all I wanted to do was leave?! And there it was, I was full blown crying again.

"If I somehow implied that anything about us is a mistake, then that isn't how I feel." he said as he stepped closer behind me.

"That's what you said." I said, trying to keep my tears at bay and not sound like I was breaking down any second again.

"I said the things leading up to us were mistakes," he said calmly. He was behind me now. I could feel the heat of him on my back.

"Yeah? Well how do you th-think life works? That some weird fucking fate would led us together an-anyhow? You honest-tly think you'd have even met me if all of that hadn't hap-pened? You think you can just er-rase some shit from in bet-tween and the story wouldn't ch-change?" I said, fighting the lump in my throat and the fucking hiccups. Why'd I have to get the fucking hickups from crying in the middle of the fight!

"No, I don't think that, but that doesn't mean I can't regret it." he said so calmly, he was almost murmuring. How dare he try and manipulate me like that? Fucking murmuring in that voice when we were fighting?

"How can you say y-you love me if you regr-ret the path that le-ed you to me? How can you no-ot understand how th-that in its very core me-eans that you regre-et a part of us?" I reasoned.

"You don't regret the night you went over to Trents?"

"It's no-ot a fucking praised me-emory, but its a part of me!" I snapped at him, turned to face him and said "We can't on-nly love the thing-gs we like. It's an all or not-thing deal and I love my-yself."

I finally made myself look him in the eye, not even trying to hide my pain and sorrows, and said "And I lov-ve you, but I can't sta-ay loving a man who wo-on't love himself."

He started to wipe my tears away and I looked away. I really wanted to flee from his touch, but there was that god damn longing that kept me there. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he murmured "If you truly want to leave, I'm not going to stop you, but I want you to stay. I'm happy life brought me to you and I'm truly sorry if I led you to believe that I wasn't. I'm still making peace with a lot of things and I want you stay by me while I do that."

God damn, he was clawing his way back in and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know if I wanted to. It felt pretty great when he was there. There was a kind of warmth that only existed with him.

"Will you? Stay?" he asked softly.

I nodded and climbed into the safety of his embrace. The negative emotions of the past hour started to melt away and I had to admit that the fight seemed a little overblown in retroperspective, but I couldn't deny that the pain had felt very real.

I loved that healing power an embrace had. All the troubles of the world melting away. It was so peaceful there. Moments like that were what we were fighting for. And what we needed to keep fighting for.

After we both calmed down, he went to talk to Ellie. They talked for hours. Like actual hours. When Luke finally came back to the room, there wasn't a trace of anger left. He walked straight up to me, murmured "Thanks for putting up with me today," and kissed me soft and deep.

"I think you're the one who got the full psycho boyfriend attack today." I chuckled, a little amused over everything as the emotions had cooled down.

"Yeah, you were pretty bad," he chuckled, "but I can't say I didn't deserve it."

Smiling, he kissed me again, slowly getting me to the mood where talking was the last way I wanted to express myself.

As my hands began to roam his body, he stopped me and I fought hard not to pout at him. Making me look at him, he asked "I want you to come to therapy with me. If you're not at work or anything."

First I was surprised that he asked me, but then yet again, after a day like that, it was clear it wasn't just him who needed to work on himself. Least of all, it'd at least give me a chance to understand him better, so I caressed his jaw and murmured "I'll just get off work then."

He just smiled and kissed me, thanking me as he did so. Kissing in small sweet pecks, he moved his hand to my crotch and chuckled "I think someone needs to get something out of their system too."

I laughed at his bad joke that suited the moment brilliantly and reached over to feel him being as hard as I was. "I think he's not the only one." I chuckled and kissed him again.

We hadn't even had dinner yet, but clearly our only plan was to go to bed at that moment. Pulling each other's clothes off, we barely let our lips part. As we'd stripped each other, he walked me to the bed and guided me to lay in the middle. I figured he wanted to top me, but he just climbed between my legs, laid his body on mine and kissed me deep.

As he kissed me, he pressed his dick right alongside mine and thrust against me. It was teasingly light, but intensely pleasurable at the same time, desperate to get more, I humped back at him. We'd never had sex like that before and I was instantly hooked.

"Stop, wait," I asked him, realising the obvious missing key component from our tango and he just looked at me so scared. The poor thing. I just chuckled and said "No, everything's perfect. Just one sec."

I searched for the lube from under the pillows, slicked us up and invited Luke back to kiss me. The way he growled when he felt the difference. Just wow. Hell, I was no better. I couldn't believe we hadn't done it like that before. Well, it did sound boring, but damn it was great.

In absolutely no rush, we kept kissing and fondling each other, letting our dicks play with their best mates and everything felt just as perfect as it had in the morning. The only goal in our minds to love each other and promises to keep on doing exactly that.