To Russia for Love

"I have been with many men and women. I am never wrong about their desires."

"Perhaps you do know what I want better than I. But I can't give into such desires not knowing if I can trust you. I, I can't be free with you when I don't know who or what you are," I admitted letting my desires interfere with my professional needs.

He let go my hand and set up on the edge of the bed. His face was no more than an inch from my crotch. I was suddenly keenly aware that I was standing naked before a man that I was certain wanted a sexual relationship with me, regardless of our larger purposes. I looked down at him lost for words or actions. He slid his hands around to my buttocks and began to gently caress my ass. At that point I had to face the truth about my desires. I did want him. But did my desire at that point mean I was gay? I considered that it might mean something far worse. The man had just raped me and all I could think about was how much I wanted him.

"What does that matter? Is it not enough to desire and be desired?"

His phrase seemed the most romantic I had ever had spoken to me. But under the circumstances it was not enough.

"Sergey, I will not lie. It would do no good anyway, since at least in this thing you read me so well. I want to see what might happen; what I would feel to truly make love with you. But there is too much danger in not knowing who I let myself be free with," I said feeling my resolve fade as his fingertips slid through the hair on my ass.

"Your secrets must be far more dangerous than mine if knowing mine are so important to you," He said in a disappointed tone.

I decided to learn anything I would have to give him something. I chose to use a version of the cover I planned to use to ingratiate myself to the arms dealers.

"Obviously, I am an American. But I no longer have a home there. I have come to work for an international organization that deals in hard to obtain items. I am here to establish certain connections in conjunction with that business."

"What are you here to obtain?" He asked without removing his hands from my ass.

I could feel his warm breath cascading over my genitals. I did not want to get turned on while discussing smuggling with a possible Russian agent.

"I think it is better if we keep the details out of the conversation."

"So how can I know that you're not trying to obtain weapons for terrorists?" He asked seemingly truly concerned.

"You can't, but do you imagine that there are not enough of your countrymen already engaged in supplying killing devices to evil men? Why would I need to come here and risk my life for that pursuit?"

"I am sure that there are far too many men profiting from the suffering and death of others in my country. But since the drug market generally flows into Russia not out, there is really only one product other than weapons that would be worth the trouble you are undertaking."

His analysis was nearly correct. My agency was aware of Russian labs specializing in the manufacture of easily synthesized drugs which found there way to Western Europe. But the major trade was into, not out of Russia. In fact the arms dealers I sought to infiltrate were known to trade high tech weapons for low tech Afghani heroin. I tried hard to figure out what the third product he had in mind might be. My silence seemed to spur him to reveal his thoughts.

"Dmitri, as long as you do not trade in children, I have no issue with the trading of human flesh," He said as if it was a known fact that I was there to procure slaves.

"I do not trade in anything of the sort," I insisted.

However, his suggestion gave me an idea.

"Sergey, I merely arrange for willing people to meet those willing to employ them," I lied.

"If you can get people out of here, I am sure you will have no problem finding willing people," He said casually.

"So then you know my secret. What is yours?" I asked boldly.

"Come, I will tell you in the shower," He said as he stood up.

His sudden move to his feet surprised me. We were so close that our bodies rubbed together. The feel of his flesh rubbing against my cock was surprisingly erotic. The idea of showering with him as a prelude to another sexual encounter intrigued me. However, I resolved to resist my carnal urges until he revealed more of himself to me. Once in the shower he spun a tale that I wasn't sure was any closer to the truth than the story I told him.

"I am glad you're not an arms merchant," He said sounding sincere.

"Why?" I asked as he began to wash my body.

"Because I too work for an international organization."

"Then you are not Russian, either?"

"Oh no I am a Muscovite. I have never been outside of my homeland. But I was recruited to help a group who share my belief in world peace and my distain for the death smuggled weapons bring. Mostly, I just observe and report. It would have made me very sad to report you to these people."

He seemed sincere and I think he probably was somehow involved in the prevention of arms trading. I hoped that he wasn't connected to the Russian government. If he was I knew one or both of us would soon be dead.

"So if I was selling guns you would turn me over to killers, but smuggling prostitutes does not bother your morals," I said in a joking tone as I soaped up his growing cock.

"I guess that is one way of looking at things. You know we were very concerned about you when we found out who your boyfriend worked for. But we do not know of any connection he has to the trade. Is it gay prostitutes you seek?" He asked as his soapy hands caressed my tingling flesh.

"My associates do not discriminate. Both can make a great deal of money."

"I suppose," He sighed as I toyed with his anal rim.

"Now let me ask you something," I said as I shoved my soapy finger deep into his rectum.

"Are you really bisexual, or is all of this just part of your job?"

He smiled and sighed as I massaged what I thought was his prostate.

"The truth is that I am more gay than bi. We did not think that you would be comfortable with a homosexual. When we discovered you had a boyfriend, we decided that I needed to get closer to you but I was all but ordered not to have sex with you. My associates think that I would become compromised if I allowed that to happen. I did not lie when I said I wanted you from the day we met."

"Are you saying that I was a target of your group from the beginning?" I asked hoping that having my finger up his ass would lessen the chance he would detect the concern in my voice.

"No, your being assigned by the housing exchange to share my flat was pure coincidence. It wasn't until you revealed your relationship with Mikhail that concerns were raised. After checking you out, my associates quickly lost interest. I am losing interesting in this conversation as well."

Then he kissed me. Our hard cocks rubbed together as his tongue probed my mouth and my finger probed his ass. The rest of the shower was somewhat of a blur. We kissed and groped one another until we were both so hot we couldn't wait to fuck. He turned around, bent slightly and placed his palms upon the wet tiles of the small shower. He instructed me to lather up my cock. Once I was inside him he demanded that I fuck him hard. I remember that it seemed to take far less effort to fuck him in the ass than I had imagined anal sex would take. His rectum opened up for me as easily as a well fucked, excited pussy would. I came in his ass and he came on the tile wall.

As we lay in bed together that night, I questioned my sexuality. I fell asleep with my naked flesh pressed to his equally naked backside, I mulled over my sexual life to that point. I had fucked over a half dozen women. All of my experiences had been fun, but I couldn't say at that moment that any of them had approached the passion or eroticism of my shower fuck with Sergey. The burning question that stayed with me into my dreams was whether a basically heterosexual guy could enjoy gay sex that much or if I had been unaware of my true sexuality for so long. The answer of course didn't come to me that night.

I was thankful to wake up alone the next morning. Sergey had managed to slip out of bed without waking me. A construction worker's day starts earlier than a day of fake job hunting must start. There was little chance that I would even be bothering to go through the motions of job hunting that day. I needed to send the signal that I wanted to see my agency contact. There was more I needed to know about Sergey. His story about some international group concerned with stopping the arms trade was very suspect. Perhaps if I wasn't a part of a large spy agency I might have bought the tale. But an organization large enough to recruit Russian nationals would be too big to have escaped being noticed by my agency. It was probable that he was involved somehow in monitoring or preventing arms trading. But the most credible explanation was that he was an agent of some government.

The most likely scenario would be that he was employed by the Russian government and my cover was already blown. But there were other possibilities too. He could have been an agent of a nation friendly to the United States and our being paired by the apartment locator service was nothing more than a colossal coincidence. He could have also been an agent of an unfriendly nation such as China. Then again he could have been an agent of my own government. We have many different secret agencies working on the same problems and little if any cooperation occurs. However, the final scenario was the one that stuck in my mind as I walked through the empty apartment naked. He could easily be from my own agency. It wasn't so far fetched to imagine that they had someone in place to watch me and if necessary take me out. I knew that there would be no trial if I committed an act of treason or compromised the mission.

As I emptied my overly full bladder and thought back to my night with Sergey, I fervently hoped that he was not a Russian agent. My hopes were not born of fear for my own safety. From the moment I received the details of my mission I knew that there was a significant chance I might die in the service of my country. My hopes were based more on my desire to get closer to Sergey. It seems in a single night I went from a certain heterosexual who was faking homosexuality to desiring a sexual or even romantic relationship with a man. As I stood in the kitchen, naked, preparing my breakfast, I contemplated the absurdity of my sudden change. This led to some deep soul searching and examination of my past.

I realized that there were some things that taken individually meant nothing. But when grouped together may have indicated more than usual interest in other guys. I recalled suppressed fantasies that had popped into my head while masturbating on several occasions. Times that I had checked out other guys in locker rooms thinking it normal curiosity about size came into my head. I flashed on scenes from porn movies where the size of some actor's cock was more interesting to me than the body of the chick sucking him off. Even a couple of very close male friendships from my youth seemed questionable in hindsight. The most telling thing to me that day was how horny I was after wrestling practice. I had never associated my urgent need to masturbate with hours spent rolling around on the floor with other guys before that morning in my Moscow apartment.

Though I didn't believe those things told me any more about my sexuality than I already knew, along with other things I had forced from my conscious they seemed to say that I had always at least had some curiosity. As I ate my breakfast, I came to the conclusion that the only way to figure these things out was to pursue my current desires. As I mulled over the complications inherent in that decision and my current situation, my musings were interrupted by a surprise knock on the door. I had never had a visitor other than Mikhail and I was certain he would be heading for his office at that hour. I was nearly at the door before I remembered that I was nude. As I turned to go to my room to grab something to cover up with, a more insistent knock stopped me.

I moved to the door and shouted through the wood, "Who is it? I am not yet dressed."

Mikhail called back through the door that he was not concerned with my state of dress. I stood behind the door to let him in. Once the door was closed he made no secret of his ogling my body.

"Why are you here? You should be at work?" I asked ignoring my nudity and his lascivious looks.

"I took a holiday. I was concerned with your behavior these past two days. Your meeting is soon and if you act like a virgin who is repulsed by sex with men you may be in great danger."

"I have considered that I should not allow myself to get in a situation where I must prove my sexuality." I replied.

"That may or may not work," He said in a way that made me think he was not there out of concern for my safety.

"Mikhail, why are you really here?" I asked pressing my assumption.

"I missed you and I hoped that I hadn't so turned you off that you no longer wanted to share my bed," He admitted.

I was oddly flattered by the idea that he had developed some sort of romantic attachment to me. I was also greatly concerned. For whatever reason I was sexually attracted to Sergey but not Mikhail. By any standard Mikhail was handsome and desirable. I knew this from an intellectual standpoint even though I felt nothing for him. I considered that it might be the age difference that caused my lack of interest in Mikhail. Though I originally thought him to be around thirty-five or so, I had learned that he was already forty-one, sixteen years my senior. Sergey, who was no more than twenty-eight was more my peer, at least in age. But age alone could not explain the difference in the way I felt about each of them.

"I don't understand, our relationship is pretend," I said truly confused.

"Only for you. I want to be your lover for real," He said in English. "I don't want to play any games and I am scared for you."

"Mikhail, I am here to do a job. I am fond of you as I would be a friend. You can't expect me to have those kinds of feelings for you. It is against my nature," I semi-lied.

"I am not so sure of that, nor do I care. If the only sex we have is so that you can learn to fool two old fucks than that is what I will have to remember you by when you go back home. I want more. I want to make love to you! I promise to make you feel better than you can imagine and teach you to suck cock like a pro. Please be my lover if just for a few days."

Suddenly, I felt as if I had betrayed him by having sex with Sergey. Until that morning I had no idea that Mikhail was falling in love with me. I mistakenly thought it was just a job to him as it was to me. I may never understand what compelled me to tell him about my night with Sergey. When I finished laying out all of the gory details he smiled, pulled me in his arms and kissed my cheek.

"If I had known all it would take was raping you to make you queer, I would have done so weeks ago," He whispered in my ear.

I knew that we were going to have sex. In some weird way I felt I owed him. I told him that I needed to take a shower and gave him the option of joining me or waiting in my bed for me. He explained that he was freshly showered and urged me to hurry. After my shower I found him in my bed, nude, lazily fondling his erect cock. I stood a few feet from the bed, with a towel around my waist just watching. He seemed happy to put on a show for me.

"I was so excited about what was coming, I couldn't help myself," He moaned as he stroked his thick fully engorged cock.

After a minute I dropped the towel to the floor and moved my hand to my growing cock. For the next five minutes we gave each other a show. It was the first time I had ever masturbated with another person. It wasn't however the first time I had watched a guy jerk off. Standing there watching Mikhail brought back another of my suppressed memories. On a few occasions I had surreptitiously watched my college room mate jack off. He thought I was asleep and usually there was only the light coming through the cracks around the door illuminating his hard cock. Sometimes he would leave his desk lamp on which gave me a better view. I would always get hard watching him and wish I was brave enough to join him.

When Mikhail called me over I was happy to crawl into bed with him. After all he had just fulfilled my forgotten freshman fantasy. It was my turn to fulfill one of his. Our bodies pressed together as our lips met. I was used to kissing him; we had done it frequently for show. It was clearly not for show at that moment. He was a better kisser than Sergey and most of the women I had kissed to that point. I assumed that was because there were feelings behind his kiss, not just lust. His hard cock rubbing against my body actually felt good and when mine touched his flesh I felt jolts of pleasure. When he went down on me I was astounded by his enthusiasm. It was the first time in my life that I felt that the person blowing me was getting as much pleasure from giving as I was from receiving.

He seemed so happy to be sucking my cock that it made me truly want to suck his. I told him to stop because I didn't want to cum yet and pushed him onto his back. I ask him to guide me as I moved my face toward his crotch. I didn't hesitate in the least to follow his suggestion to begin by licking his throbbing member. I bathed his cock from the base to the tip, covering his tool in my saliva while eliciting incredibly erotic moans from him. When he suggested I suck his balls, I happily took one of his cum laden nuts into my mouth. I sucked each of them and then he began to beg me to suck his cock.

"Tell me how," I cooed as I moved my lips to his cock head.

Without being told I kissed his glans and then licked the droplets of precum from his cum hole. I could feel his body shiver under me as he told me to swallow him slowly and stop at the first sign of gagging. I slid my lips down his cock slowly as if I was mapping every nuance of the heavily textured rod. He encouraged me by telling me what a natural cock sucker I was and how good I was making him feel. I stopped when his dick hit the back of my throat, fearing I might gag and deposit my breakfast in his crotch. He began to moan deeply as I ran my lips up and down the upper half of his cock.

"When you're ready," He gasped. "Try relaxing your throat and swallowing as you take me deeper."

I wanted to give him more but my first attempt convinced me that I wasn't ready to deep throat him. His last intelligible words told me to wrap my fingers around the base of his dick and suck what I could. I figured either I was a natural or he had a quick trigger. Within a few minutes I had a geyser of cum spurting into my mouth. I tried my best to swallow his offering. However, he came in such a heavy quantity that I thought I would drown.

"A good cock sucker licks up what he spills," Mikhail informed me in a casual tone after he recovered from his climax.

It was clear from the way he said it that it was optional and I could do what I wanted. I had no desire at all to lick his shrinking cock and other areas of cum. But, I decided that were I to end up sucking off the nasty men I was trying to ingratiate myself to, I would be expected to enjoy drinking cum. So I took his puffy dick in my fingers and carefully licked it clean of the sticky fluid that was still dribbling from his little cum hole. Next I cleaned off his balls and finally I licked the stray droplets of cum that were in his pubic hair as well as on his thighs and belly. When I looked back up at him he was smiling at me.