Ultimate Betrayal

Suddenly, Luce and I were old news. My mother was euphoric. The table quickly degenerated into a talk-fest about babies and pregnancy. Mum quickly questioned Lucy about her family and whether she wanted kids. I tried to quieten her down, but she wanted answers. When Lucy said she came from a large family and had four brothers and a sister, and what's more wanted the same, Mum was won over.

In fact, when we were alone later, she gave me a lecture on never losing this girl.

The day I proposed to her will stay fresh in my mind forever. Her eyes popped when I fell to my knees and I opened the little box with the smallest diamond ring. She swooned and agreed on the spot. Both families took time to get used to the idea. The wedding was scheduled to be held in Auckland, and Lucy's family took over the arrangements. Her father refused to let me pay for anything, that was the Croatian way. The bride's family pays, no questions.

We settled into our married life. I finished my studies before Lucy. I found a job with a small chartered accountants firm in Parnell. It didn't pay a lot, but it was a permanent job and it allowed us to buy a car and some new furniture.

Once Lucy passed her degree and she also found a job with a department store as an assistant manager, we were set. The first thing we wanted was a house. Her father decided that was a good idea and her family helped us front up with a deposit for a house in Grey Lynn, so we would be close to her family.

Lucy wasn't that thrilled; she wanted distance between her family and us, but it did give us a foothold on the property ladder, our very first home.

My parents were not happy. They expected me to move back home to Wellington, but Mum softened if it made us happy and she got grandchildren all would be well.

We were summoned home for Christmas that year and it was a full-on experience for Lucy, the Whanau was huge and she was overwhelmed. Try as she might, she struggled to fit in with all the family speaking Samoan. I tried to convince my family that it was rude to speak Samoan in front of Lucy because she didn't understand. Mum's reply was simple, "So teach her, if she is going to be part of our family, she needs to be able to speak the language."

Sefina was well and truly pregnant and her belly was swollen. What pissed me off was the way Sione hung around Lucy; he flirted with her outrageously. When I complained, Dad just laughed it off. "Relax, son, that's just Sione."

Lucy seemed a little overawed by him as he explained all the pictures of him on the walls. Every team he had ever represented was plastered around our walls. She seemed easily impressed by him.

I was happy to leave and get out from underneath his shadow. "Why aren't there many photos of you at home?" Lucy asked.

I shrugged offhandedly. "Well I guess Sione's the sports star in our family. Mum and Dad are very proud of him."

She sighed. "But I have seen your photos online from when you played cricket and football. My brothers tell me you're pretty good for an islander."

I laughed. "Yeah, good enough to kick their useless arses."

She giggled. "Yeah, they aren't that good. You didn't set the benchmark very high."

Over the next year we worked full time on paying back her parents. When Mum and Dad came to stay, they were impressed with our house. Mum, though, lectured me. "Fetu... this is a beautiful house, but it won't be a home until there are babies. You need children."

"Mum, we are paying back Lucy's parents, we need both incomes for that. We will start a family when we can afford it."

"Fetu... I'm telling you, don't wait, do it now. Sione and Sefina are expecting again, and they are happy. Forget money, start your family."

Dad found a chance to give both Lucy and me the same lecture, and I could see the wheels turning. After they left, she said, "You know they make a lot of sense, Fetu, if we have children now we will all grow together and we can enjoy it."

I nodded. "But what about your parents? We still owe them so much money."

She kissed me softly. "They will happily wait for their money. Mum is already pressuring me for grandchildren, as well."

I fought her off for another year, but we were summoned back home for Christmas and Mum, Dad and even Sione piled on the pressure for us to start a family. The pressure built quickly.

It was a fun Christmas, although I didn't like the way Sione kept hanging around Lucy. He was like a dog on heat and she didn't seem to mind, which is what probably pissed me off the most.

Back home, Lucy waited until we were in bed one night and she initiated sex. That in itself wasn't unusual. What was unusual was as we began making out, kissing and cuddling, our hands roaming up and down each other's bodies, my fingers delving lightly into her pussy the way she liked and her hand massaging my cock to a very solid erection, that she whispered, "I have stopped taking the pill. When you come inside me, we will be making babies from now on."

The fact she made the decision without consulting me hurt, but the way her hand stroked my cock, my arguments soon evaporated, and as I sank into her liquid slit, I was lost. We made love with passion and ardour.

Lucy was quick to tell everyone that we were now trying to get pregnant. Her family were jubilant. My family was ecstatic, and Lucy seemed on another planet as we decorated the spare room turning it into a nursery.

We shopped for baby stuff, prams, cots and of course, clothes. It was babies all the way.

The only fly in the ointment was, it didn't happen. We tried and tried; we fucked like rattle snakes, but nothing.

After six months, Lucy started to get nervous, and asked, "What's wrong with me, why can't I conceive?"

I cuddled her. "Honey, it's not always easy, it might take us time."

"But look at Sione and Sefina."

"Yeah, well look at your family, I don't think any of that matters. We just have to let nature take its course."

She wasn't convinced, and if anything, she stepped up her sexual assault on me.

It was the following Christmas at home, when Mum and Dad really got stuck in. They demanded grandchildren. I think they thought we weren't really trying. Sione took the opportunity to make fun of me as he always did. "If you need a hand, Bro, give me a call. I could do it for you!"

That hurt. I should have expected it, but that cut to the core. I snarled, "Fuck off, Sione, you shitty fuck."

Unfortunately, Mum heard the exchange and she clipped me around the ear. "Fetu, that was uncalled for, we don't use language like that around here and you know better."

I gave my sore ear a rub and apologised, but Sione had a nasty shit eating grin plastered across his smug face. For the whole trip he took every chance to spend time with Lucy, and it bugged me. After lunch one day, I caught him hanging all over her sitting outside while the kids ran around on the grass at the back of the house. Sefina nowhere to be seen. He had his hands all over her shoulders as I walked up. He spotted me and moved away. I reached for Lucy's hand, and asked, "Would you like to go for a walk?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course."

As we got away from home, I complained, "Honey could you please stay away from Sione, he and I have not been getting along, he's behaving like a dick."

She gave me a strange glare. "What do you mean? We were only talking."

"I'm not talking just about today. He has been crawling all over you like a sleazy shit, and it is making me crazy."

She leaned against me looking completely confused. "Don't be silly; he is your brother. He's just being friendly."

"You don't know him like I do. He is a sleazy shit. He cheats on Sefina all the time."

She shook her head and dropped my hand. "That is pretty hurtful, are you saying you don't trust me?"

"No, hon, this isn't about you it's about him. He was making fun of me because we haven't been able to get pregnant, and he intimated he would do the job for me. It's degrading and you cosying up to him is just making it worse. All I'm asking for is don't flirt with him and stay out of his way."

She sighed. "Sorry, Fetu, I didn't realise how much it got under your skin. But you must know, there's nothing in it, I think you are wrong, it's just normal family stuff."

We walked on in silence, and when we got home, Mum had dinner on the table. Lucy and Mum talked and joked, Dad picked up on my anger and after dinner, he dragged me aside and asked what happened.

I explained, and he gripped my shoulder firmly, his thumb digging in. "Fetu, you're behaving badly, yes we all know Sione can be cheeky, but I expect better of you. If you carry on like that, Lucy will think less of you."

I let it slide, but thankfully, Lucy did as I asked and stayed out of Sione's, way.

Things were fragile between Lucy and me for a few days after our return home, but once we got back to work and life resumed, our lives. Things went back to normal, well, except for the amount of sex we were having.

After another couple of months of no pregnancy, Lucy became a little distant and things became tense between us. She shocked me when she turned up one evening with some test results. She had been to a gynaecologist, and her tests came back okay.

At dinner that night, she went on the offensive. "Would you please go and get tested? It's no big deal, no surgery or anything; they just test your sperm."

I took it as a bit of a slap in the face and I took the appropriate stance. "I think you're overreacting, Lou; people don't always get pregnant straight away. You've been taking the pill since you were sixteen, I think we just need to be patient."

"All I am asking is you get your sperm tested. I mean if there's a problem, the sooner we find out the better. I mean if there is a problem, we could look at our options."

I let her suggestion go unanswered and we moved onto talking about the usual everyday stuff. Things, however, were tense.

I let it sit for a few weeks, but Lucy wouldn't let it go and kept on at me to get the test. In the end I got so sick of constant bickering about it, I had the test.

It took a week, but the tests came back showing I had a low sperm count. The doctor explained that with my current levels it wasn't impossible to get pregnant, but it might take time. He prescribed an oestrogen receptor blocker; clomiphene citrate, which he explained would stimulate the hypothalamus and pituitary gland in the brain. That should generate hormone production, which in turn should increase sperm production.

It was a hammer blow to my confidence, and I went home with sad gloomy disposition. All the way home, I wondered should I tell Lucy or just keep my mouth shut and take the medication, hoping for the best?

As I walked in the door at home, Lucy was waiting with a big smile and a kiss. She already had dinner underway, and we sat together on our little patio with a freshly made coffee. She looked to be in such a good mood I decided to give her the bad news.

As I related what the doctor said, I watched as her happy mood deteriorated into a gloomy dejected sense of acceptance.

"Honey, I'm taking medication and he said that it's still possible we just have to wait for the medication to take effect. He gave me a list of foods that promote sperm production. We just have to keep trying. I mean it's not the end of the world, trying is fun!"

She smiled, but even I could see it was pretence. She looked like I stole her last cookie. She took the list of foods and muttered, "I guess we're going on a diet, especially you, buddy. You are going to have to try hard."

I shrugged. "Some of the foods we already eat, it's not a hardship... the pumpkin seeds sound a bit yucky, but I'll give it a go."

As she read all the information the doctor had given me, she started making random statements, "Shit, no more coffee for you."

Then it was, "Holy shit, no hot baths or hot showers and we have been doing it all wrong, we need to cut down how often we have sex."

"What!" I groaned loudly, "That can't be right."

She laughed. "Sorry, hon, but it says here for men who have a low sperm count it takes longer for the sperm to recoup to good levels. So, Mr. No sex except for days I'm fertile. We need to get really scientific about how we approach this."

Just like that, our sex life changed. Now, we made love only during her fertile periods. She absolutely refused me every other day, and god help me if she caught me whacking off in the shower.

The one time she did catch me she flew off the handle. "You ungrateful bastard. We are supposed to be trying for a baby and you waste it by masturbating."

She stormed off but then came bursting back in, "I'm doing everything in my power to make this happen, and you can't even control your urges for a few months."

Of course, she couldn't resist telling Mum, who of course, told the rest of the family. It was like we could have no secrets. Sione took every chance after that to make my life miserable. Why he was being such a dick I'll never know. Maybe he couldn't help it.

At least he was stuck on the other end of the island, so apart from the odd telephone conversation, I didn't have to put up with him.

We tried all year. We tried, but it just wasn't happening. It was our life centred on Lucy getting pregnant. Personally, I hated it. We didn't make love that much, I was stuck on this fucking horrible diet; I couldn't even have an occasional beer anymore, not without having an argument, anyway.

Our relationship was falling apart before my eyes. The woman I loved was slipping away. This thing really affected her. It seemed like she felt less of a woman because we couldn't do it. It got so bad I dreaded going home and found any excuse to work late. It was good for the pay cheque, but it meant we saw less of each other and our relationship started to break down.

Then when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Dad decided to organise a big celebration for him and Mum's 35^th wedding anniversary. God damn it, it meant facing up to Sione and his torment. There was no way around it; Dad would accept no excuse; we were going to have to be there.

We booked the flights and headed down for the big party.

As expected, Sione was a complete arse and gave me nothing but shit, and he seemed on a mission to rub it in my face. At the dinner table on the first night home, in front of everyone he bellowed, "Bro, it's all right. I told you I would do the job for you." He gave Lucy a smirk and followed up with, "Hey man, it's not like it would be a hardship; shit I would be happy to help!"

Lucy grinned as he said it, Mum scolded him for being silly, but what surprised me was Sefina's reaction. I expected her to snap at him, to tell him off, but surprisingly, she let it go. That is, until she glanced at me and her expression changed to one of embarrassment. She couldn't hold my eyes.

That night as we climbed into bed Lucy Seemed uneasy, "Bloody Sione, what a prick," I grumbled.

She snuggled beside me. "He certainly knows how to push your buttons, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, well, he's had a lifetime of practice. He pisses me off. Please, for the rest of the visit stay out of his way, don't give him any more ammunition."

She smiled grimly. "I think he is just trying to be funny. I don't think he realises how much his words hurt you."

"Sorry, but I disagree. He knows damn well. He bloody loves it, because he's a sadist."

Strangely, she wanted to make love. Usually at Mum and Dad's it was a no-no, but that night, she seemed driven and I wasn't going to argue. It had been weeks since we had last done the deed.

She giggled stupidly afterwards. "Do you think anyone heard?"

I laughed. "Who cares? We are married you know, and we aren't sneaking around here."

The next day was a whirlwind of activity as we prepared for the party. Lucy disappeared with Sefina to do the last minute grocery shopping, Sione was off doing god knows what, which left me and Dad to do the pig on a spit, the hangi and setting up the gazebo.

As we worked, Dad and I talked. It had been years since he and I worked this closely. It brought back warm memories and it turned out to be a fun day. At first, I was miffed at Sione for buggering off and leaving us to do all the work, but by the end I was bloody glad he wasn't there. At least I got to spend some time with Dad.

The girls turned up with the groceries and Lucy looked happier than ever. The party was huge, all our friends and family turned up. The place was filled with people. Mum loved it, which seemed to make it all worthwhile.

The only downside for me was Sione hanging around Lucy like a bad bloody smell. I had to keep forcing myself between them. It got quite hostile towards the end, and Sione was drunk. He tried to pull Lucy up to dance and she played up to him. I had to physically push him away. We were just about at the fist-throwing point, when Dad rushed over and forced his way between us. "Cut it out, you two. If you spoil your mother's night, I will beat the both of you black and blue."

Sione snarled, "Well tell this little shit to get out of my face. Lucy wanted to dance, we were just having fun."

Dad turned his angry stare to me, "Fetu, it was just a dance."

Angrily, I snarled, "No, Dad it's more than that. Lucy is my wife."

Dad nodded. "Sione, go and dance with your own wife."

Sione gave me a dirty sneer flung my arms off his shoulders and slipped off into the crowd. Lucy slipped into my arms. "Honey, calm down, he just wanted a dance."

Dad walked off and I hissed, "No, there's something going on. Please stay out of his way tonight."

*****

The trip did seem to be good for Luce. She seemed back to her old self, we made love with an added passion, there was no talk of babies or families, no diet and she let me have a beer on Saturday as we had some friends around.

It was about six weeks after our return when she announced that god had decided we had suffered enough and she was pregnant. Of course, she was straight on the phone to tell absolutely everybody.

The presents started to roll in, and by the time our son was born, we wanted for nothing. Life had never been so good.

Maybe it was the fact Sefina and Luce spent so much time on the phone talking. Maybe it was the contemptuous tone Sione took with me, as if he had something on me. I don't know what it was. Maybe, it was the fact that Luka, our son, didn't really look like me. There was something eating away at me, and I just couldn't put my finger on it. Luka was a sweet kid, and I did love him. We bonded, as father and son do. It was just this unease, and with every passing day, that unease grew. It didn't help that I watched one of those late night cop shows about a woman who used her brother-in-law to get pregnant. It planted a festering seed. Yeah, it was stupid, but it caused me so much unrest I decided to get DNA tests done.

And, that as they say, is how we got where we were, right at that moment.

I needed to restart my life, meet somebody new. When it happened, It took me by surprise. That's how these things happen, when you least expect it.

That's how it was for me, at the supermarket of all places, and it was a smashing experience as we collided in the frozen section's aisle. That turned into apologies and seeing her smile made me shiver.

She gave me a strange look, and i don't know where i found the courage, but I asked, "Would you like to go out for dinner with me?"

She giggled, and the sound of it felt good. "Do you always ask women out when you crash into them?"

"No, I have to be honest, this is a first. Um, I'm Fetu."

She smiled as she gave her shin a gentle rub. "I'm Taylor. So why me?"

"If you want me to be honest, it was because I couldn't help it. Your smile has wrapped me in some kind of spell."