Ultimate Betrayal

He sagged to his knees, his breathing ragged and moaning. My fists ached. I was sure at least one knuckle was broken, but I kept going, fuelled by my burning anger, and he fell forward onto his hands and knees. I was about to drive my foot into his side, but one of my Uncles grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into a clutch, "He's had enough, Fetu."

"Like hell," I yelled, "this goes on until he tells me it's over."

My Dad nodded and my uncle let me go, I stepped forward again but Sione raised his hand, his words barely intelligible. "I give in."

I was angry, my mind clouded by the red mist, but my Uncle jumped on me before I went too far. "That's enough, Fetu. C'mon, boy, he's had enough."

I stumbled back as I got my breath back. I leaned against the wall, I saw tears flowing down Lucy's face and i wondered if she felt sorry for Sione, maybe she wanted me to lose."

Mum rushed down to Sione's side and dropped to her knees, her arms cradling his battered face. Dad leaned down and pulled her up. He glanced around the collected family, and barked, "This war is over. Shake hands and we will never talk of this day again." He stared straight at me, and I sensed a new level of respect, I think he expected me to lose as well.

Sefina, her face wet with tears, helped him up, and he leaned on her as she stared around the group in shock. I don't think she could believe what had just happened.

I walked across to where they stood, and I held out my hand. Sione winced as he held his hand out and he shook my hand gingerly, "I'm sorry, Bro."

Suddenly, he didn't look so tough; his blood splattered face was cut and bruised, both eyes were so swollen and black he could hardly see, he was going to need stitches in the corner of his mouth.

Mum said, "We are going to A&E."

Mum, Dad and Sefina drove Sione off to the hospital, and that left Lucy, and me by ourselves. Her face was still red and tear stained. As we stood side by side, she grabbed my arm, forcing me to peer into her eyes, "Bloody hell, Fetu, are you happy now? Oh my god, that was horrible, did you have to be so brutal?"

I shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your boyfriends looks."

She started crying. "I was talking about the violence, the anger. My god, I can't understand you. There was no need for it. What has been accomplished? Is that how you feel about me? Is that what you want to do to me?"

"He's my brother," I screamed, "My fucking brother. Yes, I hate him. How could he do that?""

"Fetu, it was a mistake, I don't know why he did it. All I can say is why I did it. I let my desire to give you what you wanted get in the way of making a good choice. I made a mistake. I didn't do it to hurt you, or because I wanted him."

"No, not good enough, Luce. You saw how he put me down all the time. From the moment he saw you, he wanted you because you were mine. He did it to humiliate me. You heard him today, calling Luka his son."

The water works were in full effect now, as she mumbled, "Well, he is, and that's your fault. You made him pay child support, you forced him into being his father. I never wanted that."

As she wiped away some tears, she said, "He only ever plays with Luka when the family is around, he only calls him son when you're here. Luka is scared of him."

I nodded. "I saw that; why is he scared of him?"

"Because Sione is hard on him. He hates that he has to pay child support. Sefina gives him shit about it, and he takes it out on Luka. I need to get him away from him."

"Then move out, get your own place."

She burst out in a fit of hysterical rage, "I bloody can't, can I... I can barely survive as it is." The rage exploded, but then she softened, her voice barely audible. "Once i get back to work, hopefully things will get better."

Seeing the desperation and grief on her face, I saw the harm that Luka's birth had created. It seemed hard to blame his arrival for the pain but if bloody Lucy had kept her legs together it wouldn't have happened.

"I'm sorry, Lucy."

She sighed. "It's not your fault, Fetu. I would have done the same thing, I would hate it if you cheated on me, so I don't blame you. I was a fool."

We went inside and she made us a fresh coffee, "Shit, I have to say you shocked me. I never for one moment thought you could beat him."

I shrugged. "Normally, I couldn't. It was his stupid big-headed ego that beat him. By giving me a free shot, he cooked his goose."

We sipped the piping hot drinks and she bit the bullet. "How serious is your new relationship?"

"We are getting close. I'm not sure how it will go."

"Do you live together?" she asked.

"No, she has her own place. Besides, my flat is only a single-bedroom one."

She frowned. "Why would you need more?"

"Taylor, my girlfriend, has a daughter; she's a solo mum."

That seemed to affect her. "A solo mum... wow." She seemed lost for words. "Shit, you must love her a lot. How do you get on with her kid?"

I laughed. "'Her kid,' as you put it is Kim. She is five and just started school. We get on great. She's a wonderful little girl."

She winced. "I guess you got the family you wanted after all."

Stunned by the bitterness in her voice, I hissed, "No I haven't, actually. I wanted my own children, I wanted the woman I married. For god's sake, don't you understand? I wanted a family with you, I wanted you to love me enough to do the right thing. We had so many options and yet you jumped into his bloody bed at the drop of a hat. At least Taylor is honest."

Lucy dropped her cup, tears streaming down her face like waterfalls screaming, "Fuck you, Fetu, I made a mistake. When will you let it go?" She slammed the door behind her, and I was left to clean up the spilled coffee and broken cup. I decided to go for a walk and get away for a while. What a fucking nightmare... She was able to unlock all my emotions just like that, it scared me how much I still cared for her,

It was late when I got home. Mum and Dad were home, gathered at the dining table talking to Lucy. They all acknowledged me as I walked in, Lucy, though, seemed very uncomfortable. As I walked in, Luka ran up to me crazily and I could do nothing but pick him up and give him a hug. "How's Sione?" I asked.

Mum sighed. "He is at home, he is heavily sedated and he has a lot of stitches."

I sat with them at the table, and Luka bounced on my knee with his arms wrapped around my neck. Dad laughed. "You have a new fan, Fetu; he likes you."

I chuckled. "Why wouldn't he?"

Mum patted me on the arm and Lucy muttered, "Luka, come and sit with Mummy."

He scampered down and climbed up on her knee. She mumbled, "Sorry, I don't want him to get to attached, you'll be gone soon."

I nodded, although Mum gave her a scowl. As we sat, I said, "I'm going home tomorrow, actually. I don't have a lot of leave available. I'm sorry the way things turned out, but me sticking around won't change anything."

Mum snapped, "So you stay long enough to beat your brother, but not long enough to try and make friends? Fetu, we allowed this fight to try and clear the air, not so you could get revenge and leave."

I nodded. "I will see him before I leave. I hope he is prepared to let the past lie."

"You could get a job here in Wellington, move back home so we could see more of you," Mum commanded, "We want you here."

I smiled. "Sorry, Mum, my job is just taking off, and I am making good progress. I may move back someday, but I like Auckland and my girlfriend lives there."

Lucy jumped up and ran out of the house with Luka in her arms.

Mum growled, "That was uncalled for; you know how she feels about you. That girls still loves you."

I mumbled a quiet apology before she said, "Go and apologise to her, not us."

I walked out to her little flat and knocked on the door. As she let me in, I offered my apology and she nodded. "It's not your fault. You have your new life and new family. I had high hopes for this visit. I'm sorry, Fetu, I just wanted a different outcome."

We fell into an embrace and I whispered, "I'm sorry, as well. I wish things had turned out differently."

The meeting with Sione was strange. His face so swollen he could barely talk. He had stitches everywhere, his mouth, his right eye and a large tear in his cheek. We stood toe to toe as he walked in the door, we stared each other down until he stuck out his hand and we shook, and after several hard pumps, he reached out with his other arm and we hugged as only brothers can.

Back home in Auckland, I caught up with Taylor, and of course Kim, not sure who was the most pleased to see me. I explained what happened on the trip and the outcomes. She was not convinced when I said I now had closure with Lucy. She was still doubtful.

We settled back into our relationship and I buried myself in work. At least that was going well. The one sphere of my life that seemed under control.

Taylor seemed a little distant after I related the story of my visit home. Sure, we still got on well, but I sensed a growing unease. My saviour was Kim; she and I were close. I think perhaps if it weren't for Kim, Taylor would have pulled out of our relationship.

We bumbled along for a few months, it was nice to have somebody in my life, but I think it was never going anywhere. One Friday night I went to collect them both to go out for dinner. There was a strange car in her driveway when I arrived. I decided for the first time in a long time to knock.

Taylor met me with a smile and a hug, but sitting on the sofa in the living room was a man, and he looked familiar. As I walked in, he stood up to shake my hand. "Hello, I am Martin, Taylor's ex."

We shook hands and Taylor jumped in. "Martin has been going to AA and anger management. He came around tonight because he wants to become a part of Kim's life again."

I nodded, "That sounds great." I stared at him and I could see the nervousness. I tried to ease the situation, "Mate, I think you're doing the right thing, Kim is a wonderful girl, and I know she misses her father, so well done."

He nodded. "I've started paying the child support as well. I finally found a job."

Taylor smiled, but when I glanced at Kim, she didn't look impressed. "So, what happens now?" I asked.

Martin jumped in. "I want to get my parental rights, I want visitation rights. I know I will have to build up trust with Kim, because I behaved badly and I can see even now she's scared of me, so slowly I want to get to a stage where we can spend weekends together. I have my own place."

He stayed for a while before leaving and he got a kiss from Kim. As Taylor moved back to sit beside me, she said, "Wow, that was a surprise, he has changed so much. God, I hope he doesn't let Kim, down again."

Well, Martin went overboard with Kim, he brought her gifts, he was there every weekend, and slowly but surely, he built his relationship back. The side effect was I saw Taylor looking at him differently. She no longer saw the angry no-account loser, the drunkard and abuser. He was even tempered, apologetic and polite, even to me.

Damn it, I was jealous. When I saw them together, I saw a little twinkle in her eye, a sparkle that had been saved just for me. When I tackled her about it, she winced. "Sorry, am I that transparent?"

"To me you are, Taylor. If you're having feelings for Martin again, then all I ask is you be honest with me. Believe me, I will understand."

She nodded. "Sorry love. Yes I know you understand, but I am just confused. I spent so much time hating him I find it hard to reconcile who he is now. I used to love him so deeply, but after the bashings and abuse I lost that love, I thought the man I met, fell in love with and married had vanished forever, but now here he is back stronger than ever."

I pulled her into my arms. "Yes it must be hard, just be honest with me."

As they say, life went on, I sort of expected Taylor and me to be able to push on with Kim happily spending every second weekend with her father, but if anything, we were growing apart. There was a distance I couldn't explain growing between us. We still made love, we still shared wonderful moments together, but there was an unease i struggled to put my finger on.

It became a little clearer when Martin dropped Kim off at home. Taylor met him at the door, and they exchanged small talk. Kim came over for her cuddle, as always, but Taylor walked Martin out to his car. I walked over and watched from the window. As he climbed in and closed the door, Taylor leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, nothing too much, but more than a friendly kiss.

She looked around anxiously to see if anybody had seen. She waved goodbye and he drove off. I struggled to keep a lid on my anger. I didn't want to seem like one of those jealous boyfriends, but I guess that's how I felt.

When she walked in, I asked softly but with intent, "How long has that been going on for?"

Caught out, she whispered. "It's not what you think, it was just a kiss."

I laughed. "What did you think I was thinking?"

"Fetu, I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me as well. Martin and I have history. He was my husband, Kim's father."

I nodded, "I understand, all I ask is honesty. Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?"

Her red face and the fact she could no longer hold my gaze were the clues, "Fetu, I'm trying. Lately, I have been having feelings for Martin that sank a long time ago, but now, I see a new man arising and I like what I see."

"Like...or love?"

She winced, "I... well... I don't know."

Standing and walking to the door, I hissed angrily, "Well perhaps we need some space until you figure it out. Call me when you've decided."

She whined, "Please don't go away angry. I would never cheat on you. I know how painful that was for you."

"I will leave it to you. If you want to see me again, call me."

She snapped, "Of course I want to see you... Don't be an arse, you haven't even said goodbye to Kim."

She was right.I strode into Kim's bedroom, gave her a kiss and said goodbye.

Walking out, Taylor yelled after me, "You're behaving like an idiot, nothing happened."

As I promised, I didn't call or text. I left it in her hands. It didn't stop me from fretting and worrying. I realised I was acting like a fool, a jealous idiot, but I couldn't help it. I paced around, went for walks and generally hated myself for being a fool.

It was Friday before Taylor called, "Do you want to go to the movies tonight? Kim is with Martin; we could have a sleep over?"

I picked her up and we went for dinner and then a movie. it was warm, polite, but the burning intensity of our normal relationship was missing. We both sensed it; we were like friends. The romance was gone. The words shouldn't have come as a shock, but nobody wants to hear them. "Fetu, we need to talk.

She guiltily peeked at me from her downturned eyes. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know, Taylor. Before I even consider if there is an us, I need to know what's going on with you and Martin."

"He asked me out on a date. I don't want to go until I know where you and I stand."

I laughed. "I'm confused. I am your back-up plan?"

"NO, that's not what I meant."

"Explain what you were getting at then?"

"I don't know. I'm confused. It feels good, you and me, but I do have feelings for Martin. When he asked me out, that felt good as well, and he and Kim have really bonded."

"It sounds to me like you've already made your mind up."

We talked some more, the conversation drifting back and forth. I knew it was over. The reality was, it never really started. If this was important, it would hurt. Strangely, it was almost a relief. At least I knew where I stood.

Having all my time to myself, it made me think. How could she forgive Martin? He was such a cruel bastard. Some of the beatings he gave her. He destroyed their marriage with his drinking and anger. Now here she was going back to him. Okay, I got it, he seemed nice, nothing like the evil angry drunkard she depicted.

So that was it, sexually. It started like a forest fire but went out like a match. Life can be cruel.

Work became my focus; I still had my football, and mates. My life, though, felt empty.

Little did I know, but there were other forces at play. Mum's health wasn't that great, even after the bypass. She had been diagnosed with diabetes, she was supposed to be dieting, but food was a big thing in Samoan culture, and Mum was the matriarch of our family. Feasts were a big thing. The whole family there.

What I didn't know, was Dad was also suffering. He had always been a big man, strong, physical, so heavily respected in the local community. The demands on him were huge.

Sione and I hadn't talked since the fight, so when I answered a call one night, I was shocked. "Hey, bro."

"Hey, Sione, what's happening?"

"I wanted to talk about Mum and Dad."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yeah bro. It's not n emergency, but it is important."

"Explain."

"Mum's not doing so well. She refuses to take the diabetes seriously. She won't stick to her diet."

"Yeah, I saw it the weekend I was home."

"Dad, he's struggling, as well. He's got a herniated disc in his back. They want to operate, but he has refused. He's worried if they fuse the discs, he'll lose his strength and his job."

"Bullshit, they couldn't do without him."

"Yeah, you and I know that, but you try and tell him. He won't listen."

The phone went silent. "Bro, they need you home. Dad always listens to you. Plus, if you were around more, he would have the op. What I'm saying is, we need you, all of us."

After the call disconnected, I sat back on the sofa. A silent curse, before reflecting. My life here in Auckland hadn't turned out the way I planned. It was empty, breaking up with Taylor just reinforced that. Once she was gone, I had nothing.

I called Mum and she played down her illness, as always. When I asked how Dad was, she never even mentioned his problems. I made the decision quickly. I was going home. At first it felt like I was being trapped, but the more I thought about it, I knew it was the right thing to do.

Monday morning, I approached my boss about my choice. He didn't try too hard to talk me out of it, but did say to take my time. Good advice which I ignored. I signed off on closing out my lease at the flat, the real-estate company were pretty good, they had tenants queueing up looking for places.

The furniture was easy to get rid of; the only real quality stuff was the TV, sound system and some of the cooking stuff. I boxed it up, gave in my notice, which was going to be one month.

The boss was okay. He actually recommended me to another company that had its head office in Wellington.

It was a long month, time dragged. I bumped into Taylor in the supermarket. She looked embarrassed, but we said hi.

"How have you been, Fetu?"

"Fine, what about you?"

She smiled, a warm embracing glow. "Really good. Martin is home."

"How's that working out?"

"It is wonderful. He's a changed man, Fetu. He is kind and considerate. He has really tried hard."

"That's good. I'm pleased for you, Kim as well. She needed her father."

She nodded. "Fetu, every child needs their father. She loves having, Martin home. It feels right. Have you been talking to your son?"

"He isn't my son."

"Funny, I know you say that, but it's not the feeling I get when I hear you talk about him."

Her knowing look, confused me. "It's not that simple, Taylor."

"You're wrong, Fetu. I know how hard it must be. Trust me, I better than most know what you're going through. Plenty of my friends and family have told me I'm a fool for taking Martin back. I promise you, Fetu. It is the best decision I have made. The only hard part was losing you. My solace was, you were never mine. You still belong to your wife."