All Comments on 'Under the Desk'

Nicely narrated story. I liked it. Awaiting your next story.

Hi, good first effort, but the story suffered in three areas. It was very short (a vignette, essentially) and allowed little to no character development. It was erotic but not really romantic, meaning it’s in the wrong category (Erotic couplings?) so the audience looking for this type story won’t be as likely to find it and the score will probably suffer as a result. Finally, it needs a lot of polish or a good editor to help clean it up. Hope you’ll find this helpful and can use it to help improve your future works. Keep writing!

Incomplete sentences are very distracting. "He saw me angrily." This is not proper English or clearly stated.