Under the Lights

Up until about 2 months ago, I never thought of myself as the hookup type. I used to tell myself I only wanted to have sex with people I loved. After discovering the enjoyment of friends with benefits, that standard was lessened to a necessity for platonic love. And after one too many dry spells, it was lessened one last time— I decided I'd have sex with almost anyone I could get along with and was attracted to. At first it felt as if I was betraying my morals, but I came to realize being sexually active was nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 23, single, and horny almost around the clock. So, admittedly, breaking out of the rigid moral constraints I confined myself to felt empowering. But it also exposed me to the cruel realization that having sex made me get quickly attached to whomever I was screwing. It was a reaction I desperately needed to stop, because I sure as hell wasn't going to choose my emotional well-being over dick.

So what's a girl to do when she needs to learn to stop getting clingy with everyone she fucks?

Fuck some more, clearly.

When I realized I craved intimacy more than I feared heartbreak, I took to a dating app in search of a new hookup. Although I wasn't afraid of getting my heart broken anymore, I didn't relish the idea either. I promised myself I'd be careful and in control, that I would make sure I didn't take anyone into the bedroom with the intention of being anything other than a great lay. I needed closeness, but I needed boundaries too.

I had to think hard about what it was I really wanted from whoever I chose— and I had to make sure I was up front about it. I just wanted someone to have fun with from time to time, not just through sex, but enjoying each other's company as well. I wasn't ready for a full on one night stand, it just seemed too empty. I decided I was going to challenge myself to find an easy-going, no commitment, dating relationship, so I could get my brains fucked out without losing my mind.

I put my best foot forward on my dating profile, trying to be as accurate and brief as possible. I wrote that I was open to friends, friends with benefits, and casual dating. I uploaded photos that flaunted my assets, but didn't erase my flaws. I wasn't in love with myself, but I didn't mind how I looked. I'm 5'4 and pretty damn chubby (188 pounds to be exact) but I carry the weight well, sporting thick round hips, a curvy waist, and full bosom. My skin is a sun-kissed caramel, soft to the touch and decorated in various places with pale stretch marks. I have a half sleeve full of colorful flowers tattooed along the length of my right forearm and left nostril piercing that sported a classic silver hoop. My hair is short and thick, growing in a deep dark brown that might as well have been black, just enough to run fingers through but not nearly long enough to pull. I have brown, almond shaped eyes that give a milk chocolate glow in the sunlight, and a pair of plump lips, the top being a noticeably darker shade of pink than the bottom. I also had a tiny butt, love handles, and my breasts drooped low when they came out of their 38DD cups. I was flawed like any other human, but just as desirable as any everyday woman. I put myself out there and the messages kept rolling in.

But there was one in particular that caught my eye, from an incredibly handsome older man who reminded me of a highschool teacher I once had a crush on. He had fair skin and mousy brown hair that contrasted a mature grey stubble, along with a pair of piercing light blue eyes. He was a few inches taller than I was at 5'10 and had a medium build, with thick muscular arms that looked soft to the touch. He described himself as confident, affectionate, and passionate, and described me as an earthy, sensual beauty he'd love to spend time with. He was flattering but not overbearing, and after exchanging messages for a couple days I was absolutely swoon. I gave him my number, and I learned he lived in New York, a little under two hours from my home in Connecticut. The distance worried me at first, I didn't know if it'd be wise to drive so far to meet someone that was a stranger just one month ago...but that fear melted a few weeks later when he spontaneously asked to come visit me.

I agreed and we met that same night.

I was ridiculously nervous in the few hours preparing for our date. I dolled up in a tight fitting pair of tartan pattern, black and white slacks, and a sleeveless black turtleneck, complemented with matching boots, a dark red lip, and dangling floral earings. I hope he likes what he sees when we meet in person, I thought.

When I saw his car pull into my driveway around 9:30, my heart was beating so hard I could almost feel my pulse echo against my eardrums. Suddenly I was reminded of every insecurity I had, and a wave of anxiety flooded over me as I walked towards the car, struggling to keep myself balanced while waving my hips with a slight exaggeration. I was a few paces away from the car when he hopped out of the drivers seat and made his way around to the passenger side. He was shorter in person, and sexier as well, which didn't help ease my pounding chest. Seeing him for the first time I couldn't help but let my face spread into a wide smile that beamed so hard I was positive I looked goofy as all hell. God, I hope he likes me.

"Hi Ana, it's so nice to finally meet you!" he said in an excited but smooth tone. If he hadn't told me he hosted a radio show, I would've recommended he start immediately, because his voice was lush and calming.

"Hi Paul, it's nice to meet you too!" I said happily.

"Wow...you look amazing. Is it okay if I give you a hug?" he asked.

I felt a hot rush of blood to my cheeks that I hoped he couldn't see in the moonlight.

"Thank you! And yeah, of course!"

He closed the short space between us and put a firm hand on the small of my waist, pulling me close as I wrapped my arms around his neck with an odd sense of familiarity. I stepped up on my toes and pushed myself against him as he pressed his body up against mine. He squeezed me tight as I rested my head on his shoulder. We stood that way in silence for almost a half a minute before I could breath to speak.

"You smell really good." I said softly. He thanked me and let me out of his grip, still keeping his hands on my sides. "You ready?" he asked. I nodded sheepishly.

He smiled wide and took a second to stare into my eyes before making his way over to the passenger door. He opened it for me and gestured inside, a display that I thought only existed in film, but now was real life, and left me incredibly charmed.

"What a gentleman." I teased as I stepped into the car. "Thank you." He smiled and said you're welcome before closing the door and hopping back inside.

The drive was about 45 minutes to our destination. I was worried to death I'd bore him with an inability to make conversation, especially since I was already somewhat shy and introverted. I felt assured my people skills would fail me in the presence of such an attractive man, but he was easy to talk to which helped me relax immensely. He let me call all the shots for our date which I appreciated; I chose an old fashioned pizza place and popular karaoke spot for afterward. At the pizza place we sat and got to know each other better, talking more in detail about our jobs, our families, our interests, shared and otherwise. I was chattier after the red wine I sipped at hastily, and eventually the anxiety I felt earlier seemed to disappear.

He went to the bathroom and when he returned he sat right next to me instead of across as he had been before. I was caught off guard but was delighted at the idea of him wanting to be closer to me. After we ate and the restaurant began to wind down, he surprised me again by asking for permission to kiss my neck. My heartbeat skipped a few times before I could bring myself to answer. Nervous once again but incredibly aroused by his bold suggestion, I said yes.

He leaned in close to the nape of my neck and gently pressed slightly parted lips against my flushed skin. They were perfectly dewy as he lingered there for a moment. A spark ignited where his mouth met my body and shot through me from head to toe. I sighed quietly, not wanting to draw any attention to us, as I fought back the urge to moan. I was starting to feel a slight wetness between my legs just as he lifted his head and pulled back. I turned to face him and his smile met mine and we locked eyes silently again. I wasn't embarrassed to have blushed this time around, Paul looked satisfied with how easily he'd made me turn red. I wondered if he knew just how much he turned me on.

It was nearing midnight when we wrapped up our food to go and headed toward the karaoke bar. He had his arm around my waist for the entire walk to and from the car. While I knew this was just a hot date, with his hands on me in public seeming proud to show me off, I couldn't help but let myself relish in the idea of being his, even if it was just for tonight.

By the time we got to the spot, my head was swimming. I'd had two glasses of wine and we stopped to smoke a joint along the way, so I was feeling dangerously free and still somewhat horny from his provocative kiss. We grabbed a seat at the end of a long booth meant for about 8 people, and we had it all to ourselves as most of the crowd danced or sang or hung out around the bar. He bought me a beer and then another two before I finally got the courage to take a shot at karaoke. I was definitely no singer, but he didn't seem to mind in the slightest. I watched him laugh light-heartedly as I slurred lyrics together and struggled to keep up with the pace of the wordless tune. This was the part of the night where I should've been most embarrassed, but instead it was the most fun.

The bar seemed to close abruptly just 10 minutes after my tone-deaf rendition of Kanye West's "Gold Digger." We made our way out just as the lights came on and the bouncers started to alert attendants that while they didn't have to go home, they surely had to fuck off. It made us both laugh how quickly they cleared out the space.

As soon as our feet hit the sidewalk, Paul had his arm around my waist again, as if he was looking forward to doing so the entire time we were at the bar. While we made our way toward the car, he stopped and took my hand in his as we stood underneath a bright streetlight. I wobbled to a stop, still tipsy and wondering why we broke pace. He looked at me with a deep desire in his eyes and a devilish grin.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, both hands at my side now.

Agan, my heart fluttered for what was probably the 80th time tonight.

"Yes." I said softly as I squeezed his hand.

He pulled me up against his chest into a warm embrace, and our mouths locked almost instantly. I let myself focus on nothing but his mouth. The thought of being kissed under the streetlight was so romantic, the alcohol tempted me to almost lift up my leg and point a toe like a disney princess. He had wonderfully soft, moist lips that melted into mine. Standing on my toes, I pulled his neck down closer to me, as I parted my lips more, and nibbled at his lower lip. He sucked at my top lip until our tongues met and intertwined. I couldn't help but lightly bite his tongue before taking a second to suck it ever so gently. He kissed me back hard and clutched tight. A smooth stubble gently grazed my chin in a way that tickled and drove me insane. I broke the kiss only to catch the breath he had squeezed right out of me.

I pulled away and met his gaze. He looked striking under the streetlamp. I became entranced in the most amorous shared glance.

"Do you want to come back to my place tonight?" he asked.

"Wow, to New York? Really?"

"Of course, I want to spend some more time with you." He replied, nonchalant.

"And you wouldn't mind having to drive me home in the morning?" I asked, worried the drive would be burdensome.

"Not at all."

I thought about it for a fraction of a second before I agreed.

The drive to New York was faster than I thought it'd be. Paul lived close to eastern New York, and since my town was on the western end of Connecticut, it took us just under two hours to get to his house. We were mostly quiet on the way there as he played DJ and showed me a variety of interesting music. The quiet hum of the car overpowered by a blaring bass and whimsical beats helped me relax.

When we got to his house, I couldn't help but be impressed with how large and nicely put together it was. The house was dimly lit with yellow Christmas lights that gleamed over patterned carpets, hardwood floors, and a stone wall accenting a fireplace that seemed out of commision. The kitchen was separated from the living room with just a marble countertop, combined with high ceilings that made the space open and inviting. Green plants decorated almost every room, and music was a theme that dominated the guest spaces, adorned with CD's, records, decor instruments, and microphones, almost everywhere you looked. It was cozy and congenial and made me want to never leave. The only downside I could possibly think of would be getting lonely with such a huge amount of space to oneself. I knew for a fact it might tempt me into melancholy if I lived somewhere so grand on my own, but I was already prone to it. Even still, despite Paul being obviously more mature and well-rounded than I was, I wondered if felt that way.

I was happy to help alleviate the feeling.

"You have such a lovely home!" I complimented.

He smiled and thanked me as he took my hand and pulled me into another kiss. I placed my hands on his upper arms and squeezed lightly, taking a moment to feel the muscle. I could feel him almost groan into my mouth as I did. I was delighted to know he enjoyed my touch almost as much as I did his. He let me go but still held my hand.

"Alright, so let me give you a little tour." he said leading me up the stairs.

We came up to a open area with even more open space than downstairs. Straight ahead there was a full bathroom, and on either side was a lofty looking, doorless room with tan couches. One side of the space was occupied with a Christmas tree, and the other had a large fullbody mirror. I went towards the mirror side right away, still holding his hand, wanting to check to make sure the night's escapades hadn't made me sloppy.

"This is so cool" I praised. "Super bohemian and what not."

"Thanks sweetheart." he said, coming up behind me. He placed both hands on my hips and turned my body to face the mirror while drawing me in closer. I could feel my back against his chest as he hugged me from behind. He rested a head on my shoulder as we turned to face the mirror and smiled.

"I just want to look at you for a second." he said in a hushed tone. We looked into the mirror together as he started to caress my curves. "You're so beautiful" he whispered into my ear, pressing his body up against me, particularly his groin. He tilted his head slightly until his lips met my neck. They tickled somewhat, feeling smooth and silky like a freshly fallen white rose petal. He breathed me in for a few seconds before lightly kissing my neck, gently tracing his tongue on my blushing skin. I tilted my head back into his and let out a soft moan. I could feel myself starting to get wet again.

Paul continued to kiss at my neck as his hands began to explore my body. I stayed firm up against him, trying to control my breathing as he moved his hands foreword onto my stomach. He worked his way up until his fingers traced my breasts, just ever so softly brushing over them, skimming my sensitive nipples as they started to form little buds underneath my bra. As soon as he noticed the erect little nubs starting to peak out, he zeroed in his focus and started to rub small circles around them both at the same time. My delicate breasts complied and the tiny bumps peaked through my shirt as if they wanted to feel cool air. Paul's touch responded to my body as he began to tweak them over the bra. I couldn't help but whimper as he tugged and pinched them even harder.

One of his hands eventually wandered down between my legs, rubbing my outer lips over my tight pants, making them meld to the shape of my crotch. Efforts to correct my breathing had failed, I panted heavily and felt my chest heave as the sensations drove me wild. His mouth suckling at my neck, his right hand still kneading at my nipple, and now his fingers stroking my aching pussy through a thin layer of clothing. I moaned again, louder now, pushing my ass up against his growing erection. I pushed back so far I could feel his hardon almost trying to nestle it's way between my cheeks. One of hands gripped his forearm and the other was clutching at his hair. As I felt my panties starting to become noticeably damp, I took the initiative for the first time tonight.

TO BE CONTINUED...