Understanding a Submissive

Hi MASTER (or Sir), what's your pleasure...I wait patiently because that is all I can do.
I extend my welcome greeting and await your instructions. I really feel like I belong here. It seems like a paradox for sure. I was always curious in mind, well read, taught manners and respect (though luckily did not have controlling parents, mostly fair and a happy childhood).But deep in my bones something was missing, from puberty I knew mind you, that it probably was unusual to have thoughts of giving and taking. I was not beat everyday--maybe had some stern talkings too over my early life,and I always tried to keep out of trouble. I did fear punishment even if it didn't happen often. But, still as I grew up I was isolated from my peers, not because I wasn't allowed friends. But, was shy and didn't always know how to approach unless a new friend or later a lover, approached me first. This was hard on me because I let myself become passive, and even though passivity is good for most submissives and makes them pliable...it did not make it easy on me growing up feeling alone in my thoughts and heart.Then, I met you.Someone who seemed to know at least some of my secret shames, and sometimes the constant fantasy I entertained. But you think, oh that could never happen...why would anyone want that on either side? I would often think too much and too passionately on them. When I first met you I felt more like you were a mentor or a protector...but always there seemed a chemistry between us; I didn't know how to describe it. I just knew I wanted you and for you to teach me. Maybe we could teach each other, though I knew I'd never lead (not unless I learned my place and what you wanted. I couldn't give all of myself unless I knew you). So, let me love you, and I promise you...someone will care. It might not be easy. I can be a challenge at times, but I don't act that way on purpose (usually) I mean. But I don't always understand my feelings. I feel very deeply, even when ppl say I look distant at times.. I'm distant because I need. I have wants and desires still unmet and it frustrates me. I'm sure you feel almost the same, my Sir.Let me show you all I can do and learn, and you show me your pain and pleasure, your wants and fears. We will keep each other's secrets, because we are a simulacra-- a twin image that burns for you. Light my flame and we can burn so brightly together, and never alone.