All Comments on 'Unleashing Mary's Inner Slut Ch. 08'

What I’m trying to say is you put this in the loving wife category. In a few months someone will come on this site looking for say your sort of work . They type in what they are after they pick the category what they like and hey they won’t find it and think no body can be bothered to write a story that I want to read. But then they might think oh I will just try the loving wife category just in case someone has put it in there by mistake. They do the typing select the loving wife category and dam they get over a million results . Then they will get so far and say screw this and again think no body can be bothered to write a story like I want . Do you get the idea if you put it in the correct category people will find it easier and you would get better responses to your work and you would be treated better than what you are being treated as at the moment. The more stories you wrongly post the worst it’s going to get . You are a fantastic writer with a great talent but you are just being stubborn. There are other writers that are trying to help you trying to get great response to your stories but they can only do so much to help you . What you have to do is take the next step and put it in the correct category please read what we are trying to tell you if you want to be a forgotten writer crack on . If you want to be a well known writer on this site you have got to change your category. As I said if you want to be a fall at the wayside writer that could not hack it then carry on . Be a so called bum of a writer if you can’t see what you have done you can’t call yourself a writer. I know I will get a muppet in a few hours time moaning at me again but understand I’m trying to help him trying to make sure that in a few months time people will see his work otherwise it will get lost in the loving wife category and people will forget his name. He then become a forgotten writer. You must remember a lot of people write on this site because they either. Enjoy it or want to be noticed or for stress relief what ever they do it for . They do it to show how good they really are and to show they aren’t stupid and to really prove they have got a fantastic talent that shouldn’t be hidden away also they are proud people. ( I could go on but starting to dig my grave here if I keep going on lol )

You seem to want to narrate the story from the POV of an invisible eye-in-the-sky that also somehow knows the private, inner-most thoughts of different people. That is an impossible situation. Pick someone and relate the story only from THEIR POV. eg What they see, hear and actions observed. Only give that person's thoughts cause he/she isn't a fucken mindreader and can't give the thoughts of others.

It's called Third Person Omniscient, and it's a standard way of writing a story.