Unrequited Pt. 04

I looked over my shoulder towards the foyer, not wanting to disturb Kayleigh by moving too much. My mom headed toward the door, and I heard it open.

"Hi Sally! It's so good to see you!"

"Hi, Mrs. Hauser."

I sat up as I heard hugs being exchanged, causing Kayleigh to rouse.

"Have to get up?"

"Sally's here."

"Really? Why?" There was a touch on annoyance in her voice, something I'm sure she would have hidden if she'd been more awake.

"Her parents only live four houses down, sweetie."

"Mmm, that's right. I forgot."

By this time the chaos in the house had been reduced, as two of my cousins had already headed home with their families, lowering the number of children to three.

We sat up, and my dad turned down the volume on the TV as Sally and Tim entered the family room.

Sally's voice was perky and bright. "So, this is my second family. I spent as much time here as at my house growing up. Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Tim Harding."

There was a general commotion as my father, Natalie, and Greg all stood to greet the newcomer. Tim endured hugs from the ladies and hardy handshakes from the guys as Sally made the more specific introductions.

My sister and brother-in-law made space for them on my current side of the sectional sofa, and Sally launched into the story of how she and Tim had met and fallen in love, while Natalie and my mom peppered them with detail seeking questions.

I hadn't just heard the stories before, I'd pseudo-lived them, having heard Sally go on about every conversation the two of them had ever had. So I tuned out what was being said, focusing on my best friend's body language. Her legs were crossed towards her beau, outer thigh over inner, and her hand was firmly on his knee. And whenever he was speaking she was staring up at him with her most adoring smile.

Tim was clearly on his very best behavior, not that I'd ever seen him really misbehave. His smile was warm and genuine, and he was obviously basking fully in the glow of the beautiful woman next to him. My mood was rapidly souring as they continued to talk.

"You okay?" Kayleigh's voice made me jump, as I'd almost forgotten she was here. I shook my head, trying to push away the curdling feeling in my stomach.

"It's nothing. Ate too much." Now I was lying to Kayleigh, which just made everything worse. I could tell she didn't believe me, and that we weren't done talking about it, but she let it drop for now. She did move ever so slightly away from me, which only intensified the feeling of shame squeezing my heart.

Mom had set out some cheese and crackers for people to nibble on, and it was mostly gone. I seized on that as a chance to get out of the room and settle myself down, so I grabbed it and headed into the kitchen.

I was laying out some additional crackers, taking a few deep breaths, when someone spoke from behind me.

"Hey, Beth." I turned around to see Tim standing in the doorway. Part of me wanted to yell at him to leave, but my better judgment prevailed.

"Hi, Tim. What's up?" I tried to keep my voice level, and if he noticed anything was wrong he didn't say so. Instead he just nodded towards the now empty dining room.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you a minute? Privately?"

My own current emotional fog made it so that I had no chance to read his expression. "Sure." I closed up the box of Triscuits and followed him.

Tim pulled out a chair for me before sitting a couple of feet away, hands clasped in his lap. He took a deep breath and glanced toward the living room, where we could hear Sally laughing at something.

"Tim, what's going on?" Was he going to accuse me of being in love with Sally? Trying to sabotage the relationship? I couldn't deny the former, at least not to myself, but I'd never do the latter.

"I was wondering if, um," his hands worried against each other, "if you happen to know Sally's ring size."

A chunk of ice dropped into my chest as I realized what he was asking. My whole body felt suddenly numb with dread, and I wondered if this was what a condemned man would feel like when he first viewed the gallows in the distance. I've been living under a death sentence really since they'd met, but now the moment was here.

I can't really tell you what my face was doing, but whatever it was Tim misread it.

"I know, you probably think it's too fast."

I didn't, actually, but sure, let's go with that. "And you don't?"

"No." Tim sat back, his eyes far away. "I've never been in a relationship like this. Being with Sally, it's so, not effortless, just, comfortable, like being near her is like being home." Tim took a deep breath. "I've been engaged once before you know."

That was a surprise. "Really? Does..."

"Yeah, she knows. I wouldn't hide something like that from her."

"So what happened?"

"I met her my third year of law school." Tim sighed, his eyes flicking upwards. "You have to understand, when I was in high school I was not exactly a chick magnet. I was short and scrawny with big glasses and bad skin."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Of course, I was captain of the debate team, so I had that going for me." He gave a sarcastic smile, which I returned. "Anyway, just before I turned eighteen I grew several inches, and in college I filled out some, got contacts and my face cleared up. And suddenly, by the end of college, women were noticing me. That can mess with your head, and I didn't always make the best choices. Choices like Rochelle."

He sat back, eyes looking into the past. "I should've known better. I mean, she was not a nice person, at least with other people. My sister, my friends, they all saw it. Hell, even Brian didn't like her, and he has the emotional depth of a hamster.

"I just kept telling myself they didn't know her like I did. They didn't see the sweet, caring side of her."

"Why didn't you get married?"

"She was real patient while I finished school, but once I started working I think she thought we'd be driving Lamborghinis and jetting off for weekends in Los Angeles or Paris all the time. She wanted expensive jewelry and clothes. She either didn't understand or didn't care that I had a mountain of student loan debt. Make a long story short, she met someone, through me, ironically enough, who didn't have that, and well, that was it."

Tim shook his head. "I was so stupid, and every girl I've met since then I've wondered: Do they just want a meal ticket? Are they putting on airs? Whitewashed tombs, pretty on the outside and all ugliness and decay in here." He tapped his chest above his heart. "And then I met Sally. She's relentlessly kind to everyone she meets. Waiters, cashiers, homeless people, everyone society looks down on. And there isn't a materialistic bone in her body, is there?"

"No." I shook my head. "No, there isn't. She has the purest soul I've ever met."

If Tim was thrown or surprised by the cheesiness of what I'd said he didn't show it. He just nodded, his eyes serious and heavy with feeling. For all the crap we give men about being shallow, we often sell them short. This was a man of deep feelings, and his love for my friend was as rich and pure as mine.

"I know how close you two are, as close as any two sisters, and your blessing would mean the world to me. And without it, I don't think she'd say yes."

"You're giving me too much credit, Tim." I tried to keep my voice even, despite the tempest of emotions swirling in my gut.

"You'd be surprised. She values your opinion very highly, Beth."

"Thank you." I'm not sure how my brain was still functioning, as my entire body was numb. I'd been expecting this, but still, now the moment was here. Actually it was just one of the moments. There were more coming. The actual proposal, Sally asking me to be her maid of honor, me helping her pick out her dress, planning her bridal shower, her bachelorette party, helping her get dressed for the ceremony, standing next to her as she pledged herself to someone else.

With each realization the ice in my chest hardened, and I detached from the world a little. So much so that when Tim spoke again I almost flinched in surprise.

"So, can I have your blessing?"

I wanted to run from the room screaming, or deck him for ruining my life, or maybe just fall on my knees and beg him not to take my Sally away. Of course, I didn't do any of those things. Instead I took a deep breath and responded in what I hope was a steady voice.

"Of course you have my blessing." I stood up, not really sure about what to do. Tim stood with me, holding out his arms for a hug, something we've never really done. I hesitated only a moment, and I'll admit it felt okay, even if he were the one person on the planet whose existence I could have most easily done without.

"Be good to her," I whispered.

"I will, I promise."

We separated, and I sniffled, wiping the tears from my eye. Tim smiled, mistaking them for tears of happiness, I think.

"But you never did answer my first question, Beth." I looked at him quickly, and he pointed to his left ring finger. "Do you know her ring size?"

I managed to chuckle. "Yeah. A six. She wears a six."

Tim gave me a very warm thank you before heading back into the family room. I took a few minutes, trying to collect myself before heading in. Mom had pulled out her Scrabble board, and she, Aunt Claire, Sally, and Natalie were all gathered around it.

I went up to Kayleigh, putting my hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at me. "Hey. You okay?" Her face morphed into a look of concern as she took me in.

"Yeah." I force a smile. "My stomach's a little..." I waggled my hand. "I think I ate too much, I'm gonna go upstairs and lie down."

My mom answered. "OK, sweetheart. There's some Pepto in my medicine cabinet if you want it."

"Thanks. Good night." I had to endure a hug from my aunt and from Sally. Kayleigh's eyes were still heavy with worry as I squeezed her hand, her voice quiet.

"You sure you're okay?"

I nodded and she continued with a gentle and sincere "I love you."

"I love you, too." My voice cracked as I said it, but I hurried away before anyone could object.

*****

By the time Kayleigh made it into our bedroom I'd managed to cry myself to sleep. To be honest, when I'd laid down I wasn't sure if the tears would come, but once they did they refused to stop.

I roused some when she came through the door, closing it quickly behind her. She crossed in the dark to the far side of the bed, where I was, sitting on the edge of the mattress, running a finger through my hair.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." I hope she wouldn't be able to see the tear stains on my cheeks. "Is everyone...?"

"Yeah, they've all gone. Everyone was worried about you."

"I'm sorry."

"It's OK." She took my hand. "Come on, let's get ready for bed."

I let her pull me to my feet, and we dressed and took turns in the guest bathroom. When we finally crawled under the covers Kayleigh held me tight from behind, reversing our usual positions. I didn't object, instead of letting it thunder home how much I didn't deserve the woman holding me.

*****

"OK, so Stephen and Monica have three kids, James, Carly, and Samantha, and Molly and Sung-Ho have two, April and Daniel. Heather and Juan have two now also. Paulo and baby Isabella."

The gentle hills of northern Missouri grew starker and more broken as we headed west, and I tried to wrap my head around the various names in Kayleigh's family. I wasn't trying too hard, since I knew I wouldn't remember them all until I had some faces to go with them.

"So, none of your sibs gave their kids Korean names?"

"We all have them. Some it's just an informal name, but others, like Molly's kids, it's their official middle name."

"And you?" I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. Kayleigh blushed and smiled.

"It's my middle name, Chin-Sun. It means 'truth and goodness'. Mom knew how hard it is to be different, but she wanted us to have a connection to our heritage, on both sides." She turned towards me with a smirk on her face. "How about you, Bethany Houser. What's your heritage?"

"Me?" I chuckled. "Just a white American mutt, I guess. Hauser is German, and my mom's maiden name is Fletcher, very English. That's about all I know."

"Maybe we could do a family tree on you sometime. Might be interesting."

"Sure."

Traffic along I-70 was building steadily as we approached the city. Kayleigh's parents lived on the far side of town, over the Missouri river in Kansas City, Kansas.

Kayleigh sighed as she watched the outskirts sail past. "I can't tell you how many times I've told people where I grew up, and they look at me like I'm an idiot and say 'Kansas City is in Missouri', real haughty-like."

Eventually we passed by Kaufman and Arrowhead stadiums and entered the city proper. Kayleigh slipped her hand into mine. "So, are you nervous now?"

I shot her a grin, keeping my eyes on the road and the thickening traffic. "Maybe a little. Or a lot. I've never 'met the parents' before. This is a new experience."

"Well, they didn't like Patricia at all, so I know they'll see you as an upgrade."

"Pretty picky, huh?"

"Nah, nobody liked Patricia. Everyone was too nice to say it, but they didn't. I didn't fully grasp that fact until after we broke up, and everyone was like 'Whew, we're so glad'."

I laughed. "That's awful."

"What can I say? I had blinders on."

Eventually we made it over the border into Kansas, continuing on I-70 to Bonner Springs, where Kayleigh's parents lived. There were several vehicles parked in front of the split-level house when we pulled up.

"Looks like Molly and Stephen are already here." Kayleigh squeezed my hand. "You ready?"

"You did it for me, so yeah."

Kayleigh giggled at me while unbuckling her seat belt and opening her door. "Come on, let's go."

My hand slipped into hers as we went up the short walk to the front door. My girlfriend didn't knock or ring the bell, just walking directly inside.

"Hello? Mom?" Kayleigh led me up the stairs to our left where a petite, Asian woman with a kind, round face emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron as a bright smile blossomed across her features.

"Kayleigh, Honey, oh!" She stretched her arms wide and the two women embraced. "It's so good to see you, sweetheart!" The older woman gazed sweetly at her daughter's face for a moment before looking at me. Kayleigh stepped back to my side and re-took my hand.

"Mom, this is my girlfriend, Bethany Hauser. Bethany, my mother, Ye-Jun O'Malley."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. O'Malley."

Haley's mom waved a finger at me. "No, no, call me June, please. Oh!" She stepped forward and wrapped me in a hug, which I returned awkwardly. As we separated a familiar face emerged from the kitchen.

"Oh, so it is the girl from the fair!" Stephen stepped forward and shook my hand warmly. "Nice to actually meet you."

"Hi, I'm Beth."

"Oh, I know. And this is my wife Monica." He motioned back to a woman in the doorway, almost exactly his height with short brown hair. We smiled and nodded at each other.

"It's nice to meet you all. It smells amazing."

Kayleigh looked at her mother. "Eomma, where's Daddy?"

June thumbed towards the backyard. "Your father raked up a couple of huge piles of leaves for the kids to play in." We went to the window where, sure enough, you could see a number of kiddos in a riot of different colored hats and jackets running around and throwing themselves into piles of foliage.

Kayleigh laughed. "OK. I'm going to go introduce Bethany."

"OK. Heather and Juan won't be here for another half hour or so, so we're fixing to eat around four."

"Sounds good. Thanks, mom." Kayleigh pulled me back toward the stairs and led me down to the back door and out onto the patio where we were immediately greeted with the sounds of squealing children as they ran around the backyard laughing.

"Hey Dad, watch me, watch me!"

A boy of about five was standing on a stump, swinging his arms back and forth before launching himself into a huge pile of leaves.

"Aunt Kayleigh!" One of the girls noticed our presence and came tearing across the lawn. Moments later Kayleigh was laughing as she was enveloped from three sides with kiddy hugs.

"Okay, okay, it's great to see you, too."

A little girl in a pink coat pulled on Kayleigh's arm. "Come on, come play in the leaves!"

"Okay, Carly, I'm coming." She shot me a feeble grin, trying to apologize for what was happening. I just giggled and shook my head, shooing her on.

Kayleigh flopped forward into the pile for a moment before several giggling children began pouring leaves over her.

A man stepped away from the chaos and introduced himself. "Hi. I'm Sung-Ho, Kayleigh's brother-in-law." I shook his hand. He was tall, reasonably handsome with a bright, warm smile.

"I'm Beth, or Bethany. Kayleigh's girlfriend."

"I gathered as much. Everybody's anxious to meet you."

"To see if I'm an improvement?"

Sung-Ho laughed. "Basically. I mean, I don't like to talk bad about people, but for Kayleigh's ex I'll make an exception."

"Dad, dad, come watch me!" A little boy in a brown jacket started pulling on Sung-Ho's arm.

"OK, son, just a second." He turned back to me. "Sorry, duty calls."

I grinned and waved him away, and he let himself be dragged out into the yard. Almost immediately after that I heard the door open behind me. The man who came out I recognized instantly as Kayleigh's father. Just over six feet, he had a slight build with thinning, ginger gray hair.

"You're new." He gave me the slightest grin.

"Yeah, Bethany Hauser. Kayleigh's girlfriend."

"Gotcha." He extended a hand, which I took. "Sean O'Malley, welcome to our zoo." One of the kids pealing laughter was right on cue. "This is my oldest daughter, Molly."

I hadn't noticed her at first, but behind him was a face I'd seen in pictures in Kayleigh's condo. She was holding two cans of soda as she gave me a perfunctory smile. "I'm going to go give this to Sung-Ho." She moved away.

Sean sighed. "Sorry, but I need to go corral some of those leaves. It was nice to meet you, Beth."

He smiled warmly at me as I returned the sentiment. He headed out into the yard, grabbing a plastic rake that was leaning against an oak tree. Kayleigh extricated herself from the pile of leaves her nieces and nephews had buried her in and stood up to hug her father.

I watched the children play for a few minutes before Molly came back and stood beside me. "Do you want something to drink?"

The tone of her voice seemed to be forced politeness, and it put me on edge. For good reason as it turned out. "Oh, no, thanks."

"So, what's your issue?"

"Excuse me?"

"If Kayleigh is dating you, you have to have some kind of problem. It's the way she works." The accusatory tone of her voice sent a shiver up my spine.

"I have no idea what you mean."

Molly took a casual sip of her soda, not looking at me. "What I mean is that my sister doesn't date people. She dates projects. And I get sick of watching her try to fix broken women who are just going to crush her heart again."

My mouth hung open as I searched for a way to respond, but Molly just walked away and sat in one of the patio chairs. I tried to fight back tears, my legs suddenly turning to mush. Luckily there was a chaise longue to my left, far enough away from where Molly was sitting.

I watched the children play, innocent and carefree, and I tried to find my smile again as I did. I kept my eyes forward, doing my best not to catch Molly in my field of vision. Especially because I couldn't fully push what she said away. There was far too much truth there for comfort. Maybe I was just a hopeless project, broken beyond repair. Maybe Kayleigh was wasting her time with me.