Unrequited Pt. 04

Kayleigh blushed, a nervous grin stretching her wide mouth. "Actually, I bought you something to wear tonight."

I couldn't help but return her smile. "You did? What?"

She bit her lip. "Come on, I'll show you."

Kayleigh grabbed my hand and led me back into her room, where I sat on the bed while she rummaged in her closet for a second. When she emerged she was holding something behind her back. "So, I guess I never told you, but Alexis's party is, um, an ugly Christmas sweater party." As she spoke she pulled a garish red woolen sweater from behind her back, sporting a huge reindeer on the front, complete with red cotton ball nose. It had jingle bells on the reindeer's collar and everything.

"You expect me to wear that? In public?"

"Aww, come on. Not in public, just at the party." Kayleigh shook the sweater, making the bells jingle while she grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Please? For me?"

I laughed, holding out my hand to take the garish garment. "Fine. I assume I can just wear this over my jeans?"

"Of course." She clapped her hands and giggled as I stripped off my top and replaced it with the red monstrosity.

"So, what are you wearing?"

She held up a finger. "OK, wait for it." She reached into her bureau, pulling out something I couldn't make out before disappearing back into her closet. I waited patiently for a minute or two before she reappeared, wearing a black sweater sporting a huge Christmas tree. There were at least a dozen actual ornaments hanging from it, with even more on the back.

It was long, falling to the top of her thighs, and below were loud, red and green woolen tights.

"What do you think?" She posed, kicking out a hip and batting her eyes.

"God, that's horrible."

"I know, isn't it great?" She finished the ensemble with dangly, Christmas tree earrings, and by the time we arrived, well, I still felt ridiculous, but at least I wouldn't be alone.

As it turned out I didn't have any reason to be worried, as my sweater was one of the tamer ones in attendance. The neighborhood was definitely high class, and despite the sweater theme there was a valet to take our car, and waitresses and waiters in crisp white shirts and smart bowties were working the room with drinks and hors d'oeuvres.

I snagged a passing bruschetta, sighing as I bit into it. "Man, I can get used to this."

Kayleigh nodded. "Alexis married well. Like, really well. You'll understand why when you meet her. And not just because of her looks." As if on cue a woman came in from the next room wearing a form fitting, brightly colored red and green sweater dress. If you looked up the term 'voluptuous' in Merriam-Webster, I'm sure there'd be a picture of her right there.

She was tall, even accounting for her stylish, three or four inch heeled black boots. She sported a large bosom and womanly hips, separated by a trim waist. Her lush, dark brown hair was long and rich, and she had striking, pale blue eyes and plump but not unnatural lips.

The way she walked exuded sex, and her lovely mouth split into a smile when she saw my girlfriend.

"Kayleigh!" They came together in a warm but platonic hug. "I'm so glad you could come. It's been too long."

"Thanks, good to see you, too." They separated, and Kayleigh stepped back by my side. "My circumstances have changed some. Alexis, this is my girlfriend, Bethany Hauser. Sweetheart, this is Dr. Alexis Ferguson. License to kill."

Alexis laughed, full and rich. "Oh, stop it. It's nice to meet you Bethany." She reached out her hand. "You're very lucky. Kayleigh's a diamond."

"Thank you, yes I am."

"Kayleigh!" A man in a violently green and red sweater came running. "You have to come settle an argument for us... Hi."

"Brandon, I just got here."

Alexis made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "Go on, I want to get to know your new belle a little better." She gave us all a sultry grin. "She's in safe hands."

Kayleigh looked amused. "Uh-huh, sure. You be good." She wagged a finger at our hostess before turning away.

I looked at Alexis. "So, do I need to be worried?"

Her smile went from seductive to friendly in a blink as she shook her head. "No, I adore Kayleigh, I would never try to seduce one of her girlfriends. Even if just to drug her and dump her in the river, like I wanted to do with the last one."

I laughed. "Yeah, we actually ran into Patricia last night."

"Ouch. Kayleigh has never had the best luck in love. Myself included, I think. Or did she not tell you?"

"She did, she said you dated in school."

"'Dated' is a little strong, I think. 'Hooked up' is what the kids would say these days." Alexis looked over at my girlfriend and sighed. "Kayleigh always wanted an exclusive relationship."

"And that wasn't you?"

Alexis shook her head. "Kayleigh was scrumptious, with those lovely green eyes, she wore big round glasses then, too, and those adorable freckles, wrapped up in this shy, naïve but determined personality. Yum. But it was painfully obvious to me we wanted two very different things.

"Don't get me wrong, I love women, the way they taste and smell, how soft and sensual they are, how they can make love for hours, and cuddle for hours more after. They're wonderful, but for me it's all physical, the attraction. For romance, holding hands on long walks and slow kisses by the fireside, for that I've always preferred a big, strong man."

I giggled at the unabashed sensuality that wove itself through her every word, and, to be honest, I was getting a little turned on, or at least I had been until she mentioned a big, strong man. I glanced down at her left ring finger, which supported an impressive rock in an elegant bridal set.

"So, you're married to..."

She nodded. "My husband is around here somewhere. I'll make sure to introduce you."

"Does he know?" I wave my hand in the air.

"Of course. He doesn't mind my private time with a girlfriend. But he'd be ever so hurt if I took up with another man. Not that I have any intention of that. I love women, but I'm only in love with my James."

My mouth was hanging open slightly. I mean, I wasn't a prude or anything, but damn.

Alexis laughed. "Have I offended you?"

"No! No, I just, wow."

She laughed again, and something about it put me at ease. "I've been accused, at times, of being a little too open, if you can believe that. It comes with the territory I guess."

"Territory?"

"My specialty. Kayleigh did tell you what I do, right?" Alexis was wearing a wicked little grin.

"She said you were in grad school together. I guess I assumed you're a therapist, like her."

She gave a knowing chuckle. "Oh, I am a therapist, but not like Kayleigh. My specialty is sex therapy."

I'm embarrassed to admit my mouth dropped open a little. "You mean, like, um."

Alexis's grin spread at my discomfort. "It's not like it is in Hollywood. Everyone's clothes stay on at all times, I promise." We sat down and she continued. "Sex has always fascinated me. I remember going from a skinny, gawky eleven-year-old to a fully developed young woman in about a year and a half, and I was amazed how differently people suddenly treated me, both men and women, and the power my body gave me over them.

"To be honest, what I learned first was how to be a manipulative little shit, but from the first time I had sex I was enamored by it, and how amazing it felt, the way your pleasure and emotions get all intermingled. Eventually, and not without drama, I grew up, but still I maintained that fascination, and by how every person is their own unique combination of desires and attractions. There's a staggering panorama of what is normal in human sexual desire, and a stunningly narrow view of what is accepted and acceptable."

Alexis gave a sigh. "Listen to me preach. My point, convoluted as it may be, is that I quickly recognized what Kayleigh wanted, which is someone who would love her and only her unconditionally and forever. Unfortunately she also desperately wants to help people, so she's attracted to women who need that help. And finding someone stable and mature enough to give her the former while still satisfying the latter is, well, problematic to say the least."

I could feel the weight of what Alexis was saying settling over me. She'd described me perfectly. I was definitely damaged goods. Had Kayleigh seen that in me from the start? Probably. And assuming Alexis had observed enough of Kayleigh's relationships to diagnose the pattern accurately, I fit right into the second part as well.

Kayleigh rejoined us at that moment. "So, has she made you blush yet?"

I nodded, pushing down my discomfort. "You could say that."

"As long as she hasn't tried to take you upstairs." A playfully stern look followed.

"Oh, Kayleigh, I would never do such a thing. At least, not without your permission."

Alexis's eyes flashed, and Kayleigh wagged another finger at her. "Don't you dare."

Laughter followed. "Oh, Kayleigh, I've missed you. Actually, before I let you start to mingle I have someone I want to introduce you to."

She led us through the forest of red and green sweaters to the back room, where beautiful Christmas music wafted through the air. We approached a group of four, three men and a woman, who were talking quietly by a window.

The group opened up as Alexis approached. The man on the left and the woman said goodbye, moving away into the crowd, leaving a tall man with thinning light brown hair that supported a distinguished amount of gray in his temples, along with a neatly trimmed beard, and a slightly shorter, light-skinned African-American gentleman, with a goatee and a bright smile.

Alexis motion towards the taller of the two. "Kayleigh, allow me to introduce Dr. Charles Hatfield." My girlfriend's eyes went wide as Alexis continued. "Charlie, this is the woman I was telling you about, Dr. Kayleigh O'Malley."

"Dr. Hatfield, it's an honor." There was a note of awe in Kayleigh's voice, and I looked back and forth between them as they shook hands.

"The pleasure is mine, Dr. O'Malley."

"Wow, sorry, just, I've read both of your books. I've used several of your techniques many times."

"Thank you, I'm honored. Sorry, this is my husband, Augustus. Augie, Dr. O'Malley wrote the most insightful paper on LGBTQ teen/parent dynamics. It was really excellent."

Kayleigh gave a nervous laugh. "You read my paper?"

"I've read all three of them that I could find."

Kayleigh gave a self-deprecating laugh. "That's all there are."

Alexis clapped her hands. "Well, I'll leave you to your mutual admiration society." She shot Kayleigh a bright smile and slipped away, giving Kayleigh's hand a squeeze as she did.

Kayleigh did eventually remember to introduce me, but I wasn't offended, I could see how star struck she was. As she and Dr. Hatfield continued to talk, I moved closer to Augie, who was smiling and nodding.

I leaned towards him. "Do you understand anything they're talking about?"

He laughed, covering his mouth to muffle the sound. "More than I used to. I remember when we first started dating, he was in grad school, full of righteous vigor. He'd talk for hours if I let him about all manner of things I didn't understand. I'd just smile and nod. I'd've listened to him talk about anything if it meant I could keep holding his hand. But in fifteen years I've learned some of the lingo. You?"

I shook my head. "We've only been dating for a few months. I'm not there yet."

"Well, I'm sure I've bored him stiff talking of tablecloths and lighting fixtures, complaining about unreliable florists and musicians and such."

I cocked my head at him. "What do you do?"

"I'm an event planner." He put a hand to his chest, eyes twinkling. "I know, so clichéd right? But I love it."

"So you, like, plan people's weddings?"

"Weddings, bar mitzvahs, anniversaries, doggy birthday parties."

"You're kidding!"

He waved his hand in the air. "I did one last month. If you want a party, I can set it up, and it will be fabulous."

"He really is amazing." Augie's husband spoke warmly. "He's actually getting a huge promotion. The group he works for is acquiring several properties in other cities in the Midwest, and Augie's been tapped to be the senior event coordinator at one of them." Charles turned back to Kayleigh. "Which is why Alexis was so keen to introduce us."

Kayleigh looked nonplussed. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Well, Augie's going to be the coordinator in Kansas City, so we'll be moving there this spring. That means I'm leaving the practice I work for here. I've always wanted to have my own group, so I plan on opening an office. And I would like you, Dr. O'Malley, to consider coming with me."

Kayleigh's mouth was hanging open, and Charles continued. "I was telling all this to Alexis, and she told me there was someone I had to meet. I've done the research, and you are an impressive young woman, Dr. O'Malley. I'd like to consider you for a spot on my team. And, as an incentive, since you'd be on the masthead of my new company, so to speak, you'll have a share of the ownership.

Kayleigh was speechless. Obviously I couldn't tell exactly what she was feeling, but that was probably for the best, as my own emotions were a whirl inside me. What if she moved? I could barely keep this relationship going as it was. I had no chance of making long-distance work.

Charles let us stew for only a second before he held up his hands. "I know, I just sprung this on you." He pulled a business card out of his wallet, writing a number on the back. "Here's my card, my personal fax number's on the back, if you're interested, even just in talking further, send me your CV or give me a call."

"I, um, I will, thank you." We shook Charles and Augie's hand again, and they moved away into the crowd. Kayleigh stepped to the window, staring out into the dark December evening. I stood next to her, not speaking for a moment, instead just watching the few snowflakes that were falling dance in the breeze outside.

"Kayleigh! Bethany!" We turned to see Daniel and Marianne Cowan walking towards us. Kayleigh breathed out, shaking hands with her boss and letting Marianne kiss her on the cheek. Daniel cocked his head to the side. "You look flustered. Did Charlie Hatfield talk to you already?"

Kayleigh nodded slowly. "How did you...?"

Daniel waved his hand. "Charlie and I have known each other professionally for years. He'd never try to poach one of my people without my permission, or at least letting me know." He smiled warmly. "Look, we'd miss you, badly, but I know how much being closer to your family would mean to you."

"He offered me a share of the business."

"Yeah, that's a big deal. Just don't let me or any perceived loyalty to me stand in your way. Okay?"

Kayleigh sniffed once. "Okay."

Marianne smiled warmly. "Good, I want to go get a drink, so we can toast your decision, whatever it is."

For the rest of the evening we mingled, and even danced once. Kayleigh rested her head on my shoulder as we did, our bodies close, but I knew her thoughts were millions of miles away.

Alexis made like she knew nothing as we said our goodbyes, and we headed out into the snowy night. Luckily it wasn't sticking to the roads yet, but it still took all my concentration to get us home safely.

Kayleigh was unusually quiet as she headed into her bathroom, and I sat down on her bed, where Patches joined me immediately. I scratched her neck as she purred. "Tonight was a big night for your mommy."

"Meow"

"I know, I won't hold her back. Promise."

Kayleigh came out of the bathroom. "All yours."

I went ahead and washed my face. When I was changed for bed I crawled under the covers, where Kayleigh was waiting. She folded herself into my arms, not saying anything.

As I held her, I could almost feel her mind whirring inside her head. I wasn't relaxing either, so I decided to bite the bullet.

"Kayleigh, sweetie?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something over there."

"What?" She turned in my arms, staring at the far side of the room. "What is it?"

"It's an elephant."

Kayleigh's head dropped with a laugh. "Are you saying there's an elephant in the room?"

"Yeah. Wanna talk about it?"

"I just don't know, Bethany, but I think, yeah, I'd like to move home. I miss my parents, Stephen, Molly, the kids. I'd be closer to Heather, too. I'd like to be more active in their lives, instead of just weird Aunt Kayleigh they see a few times a year.

"Then you should do it. At least look into it."

Kayleigh turned back towards me. "But what about you?" Her eyes closed.

"I don't think you should consider me. You should do what you want to do."

Kayleigh's face fell with that. "Bethany, we've been dating for four months. Have you thought about, you know, next steps?"

"By next steps do you mean living together?"

I could see the fear in Kayleigh's eyes as she nodded.

"Sure I have. I was trying to work up the courage to talk to you about it after the holidays. But if you're going to be moving back to Kansas City there isn't much point." I intended it to be mildly joking, but in my fear and tiredness I completely failed, and it came out more accusatory.

"It's not a sure thing."

I forced my tone to soften. "But it's something you want. And if you don't do it, you'll regret it. And I don't want you to resent me, if you stayed for me. I mean, if we were married..."

Kayleigh cut me off, her voice small but serious. "We're not ready for that."

"I know, I wasn't proposing. Just, don't stay for me." My voice cracked as I said it.

She looked hurt. "Okay. But, you know, there is another possibility."

It was obvious what she was getting at. "Kayleigh, I mean, my job is here, Natalie and Emma, my, fr, err, my life is here." True as that may be, I wasn't any more convinced than Kayleigh was. The pain in her eyes deepened.

"I understand."

"Kayleigh..." She rolled away from me.

"We'll talk more in the morning. I'm tired."

As I turned onto my back there were tears in my eyes. Everything about her energy and said 'don't touch me', and I was terrified about what might happen if I tried. I almost expected her to tell me to go home, and I nearly did just that, but I didn't. I wondered if it might be easier, as the distance between us in that bed felt cavernous. It took a while, but for the first time ever Kayleigh and I fell asleep in the same bed without holding each other.

********

We're so close! Only one to go. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy, emotional ride home. I hope everyone has enjoyed so far. The last part is written, so I'll have it submitted within a day or so of seeing this on the site. Please leave comments, ratings and send feedback. I love hearing from you all.