All Comments on 'Valiant Valkyrie vs the Boarman 06'

Well-written as usual. Not enthused as it's literally a transitional chapter, and to me could have been cut down drastically and added to the next installment. Also crosses the line (for me) from humiliation to degradation, which is always a danger with this kind of story.

The Bus Driver was surprisingly considerate at the end, warning Val that the cops were planning on dragging her out of the bus, which would have been more humiliating. For that matter, what he asked of her is rather tame compared to what usually happens in these stories.

Zippuli really deserved what he got, especially because even he should have realized he needed her help once Boarman had been captured. At that point his pervertness bordered on the suicidal.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Apologies it took a while to get back; real life is very busy right now.

@Shilton_Lineker: on transitional nature of this chapter; yeah, this is another aspect of the pacing issues we’ve previously discussed. If I was going to start over from scratch I would definitely break the hard POV limit and insert additional cutaway scenes to break things up. You are correct that on a structural level this chapter serves to bridge us from the prison/hospital set-piece to the next major sequence, giving time for events to play out elsewhere. However, we are nearing the finish line on this one so as it is I am going to just carry on as originally planned rather than try to insert a major rewrite at this point. After this one is done, I am definitely going to shift focus to some shorter works for a while for a change of pace.

On the degredation; I can see that; in addition to the structural purpose discussed above another element of this is chapter is it intended to get her down to just about the lowest point it is possible for her to imagine, at least without having been actually fucked, before she decides to try to ‘bounce back’. When I told that anonymous poster way back on Chapter 2 that he was probably better off skipping the rest of this one, I had this exact chapter in mind - I figured if seeing her get interrogated by the police made him that upset, then the events of this chapter were likely to give him a heart attack. Also, for what it’s worth, I think this is about as bad as the public humiliation gets for her, at least until the worse of the two planned endings.

@Anonymous: Glad you enjoyed it. Took a while to get back so the next one is already out; hopefully it lived up to your expectations. On Zippuli: yes, this is more or less his comeuppance for his behavior both here and earlier.