Vertigo Milf

"Yes Mrs Steinbolt."

"Well let's have it then. It's what? Thirty minutes to the dust bowl? That's at least a six pack, dickhead and I have appearances to keep up."

Hana laughs into my neck. "The only person on the whole damn site who can wander about with a beer. I think I love you, Glenda."

"Here, pass one to my girl Hana, Ronald. She's on paid leave for a few weeks while we work out a new contract."

"Umm... right."

"David, can you drive please. Hana sweetheart, sit back here and tell me about these little people of yours. Ronald, you sit up there and get us booked in for reception and... shut up hey?"

And as the lady said, we did.

We arrived on site a little while later and Glenda made a show of handing Hana a beer before taking her on an inspection of the site. I sat with Ronald in the vehicle and smiled as my warrior woman drank beer with one of the most powerful women in the country and Ronald ferried us between locations.

For the most part, Ronald was silent. He checked his phone constantly, probably nervous or trying to pass the time without talking to me. Most likely though, trying to ignore Hana's momentary political elevation withing site dynamics.

"You do HR?" He eventually ventured nervously.

"Yeah nah. Not anymore. I have people for that. I'm a farmer, cuzzy. I just flew the plane." I smiled at my lapse into family cadence.

At dinner later, my heart and pants both leap in applause for Hana's little black dress. I'd left when instructed and waited in the bar while she and Glenda readied themselves. And when her Tia Maria eyes nervously found mine across the room I felt like back when Ricky had slipped that right uppercut underneath my guard. My breath caught in my throat and I stood without even thinking about it.

My legs just suddenly decided that the most important thing in the world was standing up right now as Hana walked towards me. Beside me, Ron just sipped his rum and coke and scanned the menu but even Glenda when I could shift my eyes off Hana, looked really put together. They'd been having a bit of a girly afternoon while I went through files and figures with Ron, I reckoned.

Glenda is ordinarily a quite stern looking woman. Tanya would tell you to check her carry on bags for leather vests and spiked boots. But she's also just a little girl thrown into a massive world of business and politics. Inside that large frame is a little girl who's just trying to hold all the shit together. She told me that once. She also said, "David, I see you. I see the little boy who is trying to pull himself out of the mud puddle. One day you will, too. Until then, surround yourself with people who are reaching hands out for you. They're the ones you need, not the ones who are climbing on you to get up."

"God damn." I shake my head at them. "Glenda, you look beautiful."

I gather Hana into my side, where she snuggles closely. "I did her make up. She a cute boss, white boy."

Ron looks up from the menu and tries to signal a waiter.

"Ronald. Get up. Go to the bar and get your own drinks for fuck's sake." Glenda shakes her head in disappointment. "You can bring us back a bottle of Moet Chandon. You know, the bogan champers."

"Yes Mrs Wine... er Stein... Steinbolt sorry."

Hana laughs like wind chimes ringing in a gale and Glenda hugs her tight.

"Oh David, don't fuck this up."

"There are people telling me that, Glenda."

"Well fucking listen for once. Now let's talk contracts and get this out of the way before the oysters turn up alright?"

"Contracts?" Asks a nervous looking Ron who assembles drinks on our table.

"Yes. If you want one next year, you're going to put together a companywide education and measurement solution for equal opportunity employment, Ronald. You're really good with people and management but not so good with the vagina owning people. Your site loses twenty percent of female employees within the first three months. And I'd suggest it's a reflection of your personal behaviour and belief systems permeating site culture. Hana here has called you 'creepy' and I've read much worse in personal emails. Would you like to see?" She slides her folder across to him. Oh and yes, we do have records of that shady thing you had going on with the girl from Roadtec. You're good at your job Ron, but your dick does half your thinking... Use that big old overqualified other head of yours to come up with some way to protect my company from men like you or..."

"Or?" He sounds a little indignant.

"Else." Glenda smiles at him. "Do you have an 'else' planned, dickhead?"

"I might... Um... Leave you all enjoy dinner. I'll get back to you later, G-, err Mrs Steinbolt."

"See that you do, Ron."

We watch him slink through the restaurant, dodging waiters and glances from diners.

"David?"

"Yeah?"

"You now." Glenda insists.

"What?"

"Well. Contracts. Get your shit together."

"Oh. Um Hana. Shit. Glenda and I were talking on the way here and I she says to-"

"You're a fucking imbecile, David. He's madly in love with you, honey. He hates being away from you and wants to change things, but he's worried about your sense of independence and need for a safety net. So... I told him to put it on the table. Let you work it out."

"David?" Hana watches me sternly.

"I want you and the boys to move to the farm with me. I want to wake up next to you every day, work beside you all day and sleep beside you every night. This whole thing is-"

"Munted." Hana nods. "But I fucking need this safety net, David. You can't keep showing up on your big white horse and throwing fairy tales at me. I'm a strong woman from a long line of warriors. I'll make my own happy endings. And mostly, I need you to fucking respect that. I thought you understood. You were going to offer me a contract? What the fuck?"

I just shook my head. I felt a bit like I'd thrown my heart to the wind and watched it spiral down to thump on the ground. "Not a contract..."

"David told me you wanted to take things at a brisk walk, dear. Maybe it's time to get a bit of a jog on, honey?"

"Glenda..." Hana sips her wine and fixes deliberate eyes on her boss. "You are probably used to running things. Telling people what to do and how to do it. But listen here, big woman... When it comes to me and my man, you can butt the fuck out. We clear?"

"Crystal, honey."

"David, I love you. You know that... I was so excited too. But I'm going back to my donger. I feel like punching you in the dick right now."

"Don't go, honey. This is my fault. Let me fix it." Glenda puts a hand on Hana's.

"Oh, you will be. We have meetings scheduled. But not right now. I gotta... Untangle this fucking mess up here." She waves a hand around her beautiful head.

"Kiss me, arsehole." Hana stands.

I try to hug her but she just bats at my arms and offers me her lips for a curt wet kiss, then she turns quickly and moments later there is just a perfumed wake left behind.

"Well, as far as personal faux pas are concerned that's a new high score for me." Glenda sighs. "I'm sorry David. I'm an indelicate bitch sometimes and forget... I'm just sorry."

"I... When something is big and frightens her, she loses her temper and runs away for a while. It's how she is. I don't know how long she'll be in her cave, but she'll emerge eventually and come back to me. It's her thing. It's..." And I smile as I realise that letting her know my dreams for us frightened her enough to trigger this thing she does. "Besides, she can't stay away from fishing."

"Well, let's eat. You have an early flight and I have a big week up here at two and three. I'll keep an eye on missy. Can I ring you?"

"You've never asked before."

/`-------------<><

"You're a fucking wanker, Uncle Dave! What the fuck were you thinking?" Kat admonishes. I had decided maybe a young woman's perspective might help me understand why my heart felt hollow and my world felt empty after a week of zero contact. "You can't just dump life changing shit on a girl like that. Jesus, I need a month's notice if I have to switch deodorant and about three if I have to change toothpaste or foundation."

"I know. I just..." I just got carried away with Glenda's bulldozer personality is what I 'just'.

"So... Hold on. Mum's are looking at me like they're gonna swing me from the village gates because I won't put you on speaker for them. It's fucking killing them. I love you for this."

I hear the phone leave the verandah and the noise of the television fades, then a gate hinge squeaks before she giggles and gets back to me. "She loves it all; the fairy tale you know. It just sideswipes her. She's not used to it. We had a big talk up at the bottle tree."

"I know. I just..."

"You're just you, with your history and your dreams and she is hers with hers. Just, if you're going to do this thing Uncle Dave, go large mate. Seriously, go full fucking Disney on her. She's never ever felt like she deserved it. Never got it from any bloke and doesn't trust it, but she loves it. It's why it throw's her for six every time you do it. One day I want a boy to do it for me like that. Just be really sure Uncle Dave. You'd kill her if you messed this up. She's such a softy."

"Just like you." She adds while I'm silent.

"Got any ideas, Kat?"

"Oh... Like on Disney? Um... She love-love-loves, fishing. Weird, but that shit gets her motor running."

"Um... I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about motors and things with you yet, Kat. You're still..."

"Almost fourteen arsehole! And she loves sitting and the sunset and the quiet and how you hold her hand and it feels like you're holding her heart and... oh gross... I sound like Mum's."

"Haha. You right kiddo? Orientation questions?"

"Orientation 'vertigo' maybe." She says slowly. "You know, when you're standing still and suddenly feel like the world is moving under you? I think I actually just had a moment when I got-got-got what Mum's are about. Gross... Ick... But, good for them."

"So full Disney, darlin?"

"Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Pocahontas, Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, Tarzan... Defo Tarzan, She'll love that. Grr."

"I'm not sure I'll get a chance darlin. This time was a bit of a stretch. I haven't heard from her for almost a week now."

"Haha. You're silly. She's probably just getting her feet underneath her again and working out how to make it work. You know she loves you. She knows she loves you. Dream a little, Uncle Dave."

"You're a smart girl for a-"

"If you use diminutives right now, I'll kick your balls for a field goal."

"Right then... Um, full Disney and thanks Kat. You're a... really mature and er... got more of a bloody handle on this show than I have."

"Thanks. I love you. Don't fuck this up. Oh... and thanks so-so-so damn much for how Mum's are looking at me right now. I'm gonna make a weird face and then pretend I'm upset, refuse to talk and go to my bedroom just to fuck with them."

"You're evil."

"You know it."

"Night."

"Sweet dreams, Uncle Dave."

I'm still smiling about that phone call as I sip my Boags and jig my line in hope that a fish finds me as interesting as I don't. The reds and golds of the dipping sun make a blanket of hydro dip pro-hart glory on the dark water and my heart still aches but with a little smile on it's face after Kat's wisdom.

And the rigging clanged.

The mosquitos sang.

Ripples lapped on the poles and washed me clean like they always did.

"Excuse me, hello."

I laughed so hard that I scared the poor little girl. Jo-jo fell over backwards and dropped the flowers she was holding and her lip started quivering as she watched me scamper about and pick them up.

"Thank you." She frowned as she took them from me then passed them back. "They were for you."

"They're really pretty."

"Mum says to put some lemonade in the vase and they'll last longer."

"I've never tried that. Where are the boys?"

"Just me tonight. Just me." Her little eyes drop to the planks of the jetty.

"Oh. Well, lucky me. Prettiest girl in the street is coming fishing with me. Here." I push the little 'chilly bin' over for her to sit on. "Baits in the bucket, Jo-jo."

"What about me?" She asks after baiting her hook and winding her sinker up like she was going to throw it to billy-ho before launching it in something of an anger-fuelled arc way out into the deeper channel.

"What about you, darlin?"

"Well. No one says anything when we're around, but I can hear them talking all the time. You want Aunty and the boys to come live out in the wops with you. All us kids know. I asked Aunty about it tonight on the phone and she said to talk to you. What about me?"

"Oh." This is deep water. I hadn't considered how deep I'd waded.

"Yup." She nodded. "It's proper munted, Uncle Davo."

So we sat and we fished and the rigging clanged and she eventually put her line down carefully under the esky so it didn't get pulled in and unceremoniously snuggled into my lap.

"Well." I scruffled her curly hair and thought. "Well, a very smart man told me the other day not to worry too much about things that haven't happened yet, just the things you can do something about."

"But you asked her, didn't you?"

"More or less, but Aunty hasn't decided."

"She will. Then who will take me fishing Uncle Davo."

"I'll just have to come back a lot. I'll miss you too."

"Why do you have to go? You already have a house here. Why don't you stay here?"

"Hmm... I've finished my job here, for one. I have to get the farm working properly again too, so I'll have to be out there a lot to do that."

"Erny and Thommo said there are motorbikes."

"Yup."

"And a really big house."

"Yup."

"Hey?" I thought of something that might help her feel a little more secure. "You know how you have a room in my house here for sleepovers?"

"Yes."

"Would you like your very own room for sleepovers out there?"

"Really?"

"You bet. Even if Aunty doesn't want to live with me, you will all have to visit a lot. There are enough rooms for all of you to stay anytime you want."

"Ricky wants to go pig hunting. I just want to say 'ta' to Kat for all the clothes. Do you have a horse?"

"No. Just the motorbikes."

"I always wanted a pony but we can't even have a little one at our house. You can even get some the same big as dogs but Mumma says 'no way, hozay' to that one."

She climbed down after that and settled back on to the 'chilly bin'. Winding in her line to check her bait she hummed to herself and smiled again and I wondered if I was being cruel to Hana and her family with my selfish dreams.

"It will all work out Uncle." Her little hand patted my arm. "I never seen Aunty happy like she is now. I'm just going to miss everyone a lot. Can you bring them back in your plane sometimes?"

"Sure."

"Can I go in your plane?"

"Of course."

"And I can have a room for sleepovers and maybe I can come out and stay on school holidays?"

"You can even paint it if you want."

"Okay. Can I still use your pool at the house?"

"If Mum says so. You know where the key is."

"Mmpfh... I caught a sausage." She grumped and tugged hard at her line.

"It's called a snag."

"Same thing." She tugged on her snagged line and tried to free it before handing it to me for attention.

"Oh, it's not snagged Jo-jo. I think you have a stingray or something."

It took almost five or more minutes to pull the heavy thing close enough to identify it as a wobbegong.

"That is the ugliest fish I ever seen!" Jo-jo laughed.

"It's a type of shark."

"It's a type of 'scusting. Cut it off. Yuck."

"Are you sure? They are supposed to be really tasty?"

"Gross. Blerck! Cut it off before I vomit from looking at it. What are the wobbly things on its mouth? Is that why it's called a wobblygong? Yuck!"

She's still talking about how ugly that poor fish was when Amara finds us a little later and tells her that it's dinner time.

"Just got off the phone from her highness too." She says distastefully. "Big woman is back a bit early. Gets in on Friday instead of Saturday. Said to say hi. Told her to call and tell you herself. She'd cut her own throat to save her dignity, stupid cow. Talk go alright? Little lady was crying after school."

"I think we're good." I nod at Jo-jo skipping back down the boardwalk in front of us.

"She's little. Change is scary for all of us. You hang in there. We all love the fuck out of you, cuz. Talking about scared. Ricky is packing it. He got a call from your work today; they want him all afternoon on Friday for interviews."

"Oh? Usually, it's just a forty minute thing."

/`------------<><

Today was one of those days I needed my lists to distract myself. Knowing Hana was home but I hadn't seen her was awful. Knowing Ricky was busy with 'interviews' and I wasn't involved like normal was disconcerting as well. So I kept busy with land development laws and planning. I had some other planning to finalise as well and it almost kept my nagging heart and mind quiet.

I was interrupted at around one in the afternoon by a weird phone call from Dudley.

"David, I have Miss Scott here. Hana says you gave her my contact details and that's fine, but I've run into a delicate matter while helping her with her finances. She wishes to discuss some matters that involve your financial information. Is it-"

"Sure Dudley. Whatever she wants to know."

"I need to record your permission for auditing purposes."

We ran through a bunch of identity questions and I repeated my consent for him to discuss my personal finances with Hana. The intrigue was fucking killing me, so I went for a vigorous bike ride up to the top of Buderim and back. The exhaustion upon my return was almost enough to quell my nerves.

The pool took care of my aching legs and sweaty body and the cold beer almost relaxed me. It wasn't until Ricky called out on his way through the house at around four that I found enough distraction to forget Hana for a while.

"...he left and I'm like." He throws his hands open in a surrendering gesture. "'Ladies... All three of them are qualified, all three have good experience and they seem like decent people. That sheila was my pick, but I worry about the dynamic of three women running a show like this'. I thought they'd rag me out for sure about being sexist, but they just laughed and nodded to each other."

"I still don't understand why they had you sit in."

"Wait for it... I didn't either. They gave me some shit about using my qualifications to help them fill your shoes for the interview process. Anyway, Trish summarised her thoughts on them. She's sharp like a scalpel when it comes to knowing how people tick man. I could have used her in the fisheries."

"Yeah." I nod. "She's a little bit doctor Phil and a whole bunch of Judge Judy as well."

"Then Laura started stabbing her note pad. I thought she was going to kill it or something. But she interrupted Trish and just squinted and said, 'They were the best we could find through pre-selection. Are any of them better for the job than you?'"

"That's Laura." I laugh and fetch more beer. "You knew you were fucked then; didn't you mate?"

"That's just it. It's like you said. I'm my own worst critic. I thought about that and then measured them each against me for a bit. I had to go for a walk."

"When do you start?" I laugh.

"Monday. Three months' probation. Eighty-five k and a car. Health insurance and a salary package review at three months. It's a bit overwhelming. We have a word, tu meke. You know that one, little bruh?"

I just nod.

"I don't know how to... Fuck it."

He just stood and hugged me, thumping my back with all his joy and meaning.

"The fucking old people knew what they were doing when they sat you on that jetty way back, eh?"