Vertigo Milf

"Stay in touch. We have to do this again kids." He tells Hana and me as we wave them off.

The little box was the last thing he passed me from the boat and the heaviest. Its weight in my hand was enough to force me to one knee on the little jetty. Her family hushed and Hana turned to find me reaching for her.

"David? What are you..? Oh my god." She takes my hand and Ricky steadies her as her legs wobble. Her face is unreadable. She has that furious look of intense concentration and she scruffs my shirt and points her finger as her legs weaken and drop her to her knees in front of me.

"David, there's a little girl jumping up and down begging me to say yes." She says softly but firmly. "But she's gonna want things. She's been dreaming about a moment like this."

I just nod. Part of me thinks Hana's going to rage and run.

"She's going to want babies." She jabs my chest with her pointed finger. "And a big wedding." She jabs again, "and happily-ever-afters. You hear me?"

I nod again.

"I'm so afraid for her. I've let her do some dumb things you know. I've let her get hurt."

"I know."

"The only way I think I can protect her right now... She needs that safety net... And it's always been you, Davey. You love her better than I can you know?"

She uses her grip on my shirt to pull my face to hers and we kiss. Our mouths and bodies say things our voices can't. Her hands on my cheeks push me away. She's smiling and it's the most welcome thing in the world.

"David. You have to ask me before I can answer."

Opening the little box, I take out the tiny ring and spread her hand in mine. It slides up her slender finger like it has found its way home.

"Hahana Maria Scott, will you be my wife?"

"Yusss!" She says eagerly and her lips find mine again. We've forgotten the world around us as our hearts take flight.

"It's beautiful." She shows me her ring in the moonlight. "Perfect. It even fits... How did you..?"

"I didn't. It was my grandmother's ring. I couldn't afford one like that. Well, not comfortably."

"It fits like... like it belongs... oh god..." Then she's crying gently into my neck until she laughs and thumps me on the chest. "I thought... haha... on the boat. I thought you'd try and do a dumb thing."

"What?"

"Like I don't know. Some extravagant proposal thing. I kinda thought you'd ask. I thought you'd be a jerk like in the movies and dump some big thing. Fuck I hoped... Maybe one day. But after last week and..."

"Shh... Hey, we have an audience."

"Oh my god. I'm..." She uses my t-shirt to wipe her eyes and laughs, "God, I must look a mess."

"Come on, this is hurting my knee." I stand and help her up.

A mess of family happens after that. Hands are shook, hugs are given, words are said and Amara and Hana wander off in front of us still looking at her fingers and speaking in hushed conspiratorial glee. The kids are too tired to make much of the whole show and follow along as Ricky, Nikko and I bring the buckets of prawns and fish.

At home, we bag and freeze the catch, wash our hands with citrus mechanic's scrub, then toothpaste to get rid of the smell and retire to the bar for beer. Hana and Amara are sitting poolside dangling their feet in the water and the kids have put themselves to bed.

Ricky slides a fifty from his wallet and hands it to a grinning Nikko.

"Chur bruh... I told you she'd say yes." Nikko tells him.

"Could have gone either way." I sigh.

"Nah cuzzy. Not when you do it properly like that with her family around for her. She felt strong, not overwhelmed. You did good, little bruh. You worked it out, finally. I'm proud, taku tane. Man of the old men."

"Same." Grunts Nikko. "So, I'm gonna do some ringing around in the morning. Get Amara helping. Reckon you can get some wood, Ricky. We'll lay a hangi and celebrate this proper, eh?"

"Got a heap of prawns to eat and-"

"Big pork roast over home and some lamb too. Heap of kai." Ricky interrupts me. "Gonna ring Laura and Trish. They'll still be awake. See you in the morning. I'll need the cruiser if that's okay?"

"You don't need to ask." I tell him. "Just don't wake me. I deserve a fucking sleep in. This week has been..."

"Too fucking much for all of us." A beaming Hana says having joined us. "Look Ricky, Nikko... I can't stop looking at it. It's gorgeous."

She holds out her hand for Ricky and he squints closely at it. "Blue, eh? That must be close to a full carat too. Classy David. You deserve it, siss. Now I gotta bowl, kids. See you tomorrow, eh?"

"Sure."

Goodbyes are exchanged and soon it's just me and Hana smiling at each other.

"Shower and bed, spunky? I'm exhausted."

"Sounds brilliant."

"I thought you were exhausted." I laughed a little later as she straddled me and guided me home.

"I'm exhausted, Davey. Not dead!" She's so very wet that she seats me swiftly and completely and then cuddles down onto my chest. "I've missed you so much. I love this spot. Your arms around me, your skin on mine and you so deep inside me at the same time. I wasn't kidding about babies either, spunky."

She giggles a little and wriggles to get her shower damp skin more comfortable on mine. "But not yet. I have a wedding to organise and a princess dress I want to fit properly."

Her hips are rolling imperceptibly and grinding her ever so gently on my base. "Oh god, I'm almost cumming already, Davey. You on top. Here."

We roll together until I'm braced above her and still slid deeply home. She rocks under me, urging me to thrust.

"Now fill me up. Pretend we're making little people. I want to feel it throb in me. Do it."

My first thrust triggers what I think is an orgasm. Her legs convulse against my hips and her vagina grips rhythmically on me as I pump at her. Her eyes leave mine and her chin is thrown up. She scrabbles for a pillow and holds it over her head and squeals with each deep thrust. My own orgasm builds, gathering like an afternoon storm cloud until I reach for the pillow. I want to see her face as I rain down on her.

"Oh fuck..." I groan and lurch against her with each spurted release.

"Davey... Oh. Oh yes..." She trails her fingers down to where we meet and teases around my shaft as I throb and fill her. "Inside me. Babies... Two... Little blue eyes. God, I love you."

She pulls me down and my elbows give, slumping me heavily on her. "Kiss me, spunky."

"Oh god we're good at that." She tells me as I roll off to the side. "Hmmm. So much... So messy."

Her fingers play in the combined mess of us and she smears it over her mound then laughs.

"God cuzzy, that grotty bitch you with. I need the dunny."

"Hold me?" She snuggles her cool skin back against me.

"Always gorgeous."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

/`---------<><

The hangi was a hit. Everyone came.

Ricky brought Rebecca. The pair of them have been flirting via text since she gave him the phone. Laura doesn't like it but she acknowledges they work together and that put paid to any shenanigans she had planned. The 'Two R's' as they are known by the end of the night make such an odd couple, but they look so comfortable together at the same time.

The Mum's made a special six-hour road trip to be there. Kat spent the whole night with the kids until they went to bed with a promise that Kat would share her new shadow Jo-jo's bed. Ebony cried when she saw Gran's ring on Hana's hand. "She was my favourite person. She'd have loved you, Hana."

Trish brought her husband and their two little people and Laura flirted outrageously with every unattached male she identified. She was doing particularly well with one of Ricky's old associates who he thought I should meet. Randal, the biker formerly known by his tough club name, 'Randal', did web design and they had some ideas for the business.

The Queensland Police Service even made an appearance. This time they had a warrant for criminal association. Rebecca examined it carefully, found two mistakes with the spelling of our address and names. They left with all of our names and licence numbers and promised to return with a fresh warrant but something must have come up because they didn't come back.

Ebony pulled me aside at one point to show me a black and white ultrasound picture that confirmed she had smuggled an extra small human along for the evening and suddenly the hangi was a dual celebration of our families. Little Hunter found me leaning against the bar around that time and held his hands up in the 'pick me up' gesture.

"Are you my Daddy yet, or do I still have to call you Uncle Davo?"

"Up to you, little man."

He kissed my cheek and jumped down to run off to tell the other kids. "I got a Daddy!"

I felt so high. High, like I'd finished climbing and levelled out. High like I had climbed above the clouds and found the quiet pillowed air. Like I'd turned on auto pilot and unbuckled.

"Don't relax now." My old instructor used to caution. "No-one expects turbulence, but you have to be alert for it."

And there was the air pocket. A brief dark glance from a pretty blonde kid who rushed off into the house. This time I had the common sense to run after her and 'try and pretend I cared why her heart was broken'.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Dave." She said from the couch where she was holding the picture of Catherine and Juliette. "I just feel them drifting away. I don't hear their voices anymore. It's hard to picture their faces. And now I feel like shit for making a fuss on your special night."

I had no helpful words, so I pulled her into a tight hug and let her ride out the emotions.

"Hey, Kat." An idea struck me as I remembered stuffing something from those boxes that I'd cleaned up away. "Bottom drawer in the garage thing... Uh, tool trolley. Bunch of water balloons. You remember how much Lulu loved them right?"

"Perfect." Her eyes lit with childish excitement and she shrugged off teenage years, laughed and threw her arms around my neck. "Absolutely perfect."

She stood up purposefully, laughed out loud again and told the empty lounge room, "Now come on Lulu, let's go show my new cousins how to party."

Alan wasn't going to come. But he was standing beside me when Hana unceremoniously plonked herself on my lap and tucked her head in tightly against my neck and said, "It's all crazy and messy and wild and thank you so much. I love you. We're going to need a boat."

He didn't say anything. An eyebrow twitched a bit but he just nodded and kept trying to shrug off a clingy and emotional Laura.

/`--------<><

Her eyes held mine. That's all that kept me upright. A string of Lulu's roses was woven into her curly dark hair and she looked at me like she needed me so she could take each step. Nikko held her elbow gently as she wandered slowly toward me and I remembered Catherine taking the same nervous steps so long ago. I smiled. I held her eyes and smiled. There are not too many men who have ever had more than one woman look at them this exact way.

Like they are balancing on a string and the slightest breeze could send them spinning and all that's keeping them steady is your love. So, I held her eyes. She sucked in deep breaths and tried so hard to stop the tears that trickled through her perfectly applied make up. She ran the last few steps and grabbed my hand making our guests laugh.

"Hi."

"Gidday, gorgeous."

"Long walk." She frowns and tucks her veiled head against my shoulder.

I nodded.

Rebecca hugs us both and asks if we're ready. Then she launches into a whole script of things that are legally necessary but which we both entirely ignore because our souls are just drinking from each other and the moment.

We say, "I do."

We write our names.

We dance on the lawns of Karnten Downs and I can feel the old people's joy.

We holiday in New Zealand for two weeks and she shows me all her places and she tells me about her old people's happiness for her. I met Stevo over there and he tried to teach me the Haka. I agreed with Hana; it was probably best I stayed all white boy, my efforts were embarrassing.

We turn on auto pilot and we fly but we hold the controls so damn closely because we treasure this journey we're on. She still rages sometimes. I still get dark and lonely when she works and I make lots of lists. We talk. We catch each other. And just like the rains come now and then and the garden under the river oaks spills over with wildflowers, we have our seasons but our love is like the seed bank that waits patiently for rain.

/`---<><

Ava Mia Cohen is almost four now. She's her mother's mini-me. She has long ringlets of dark brown hair and eyes that burn with mischief. She's also as precocious as her mother and their clashes are moments of gladiatorial glory that I watch but don't interfere in. She has imaginary friends that she likes to have tea parties with on the lawn down near the creek where she was born. I'm surprised still that I lived through that experience. Lesser things have given men heart failure.

Hana insisted on a home birth. "I'm pregnant, not sick. I don't need doctors."

I insisted at least on a midwife. "It might be completely natural but even nature needs assistance now and then. How many ewes have you had to assist?"

We came to an Australian compromise. She just did what she wanted and I sucked it up. As it got closer, I kept my mate Peaky from the aero club and his chopper on call. I was surprised when she introduced me to a midwife. They had an inflatable pool to set up and ran through her birth plan and I was shown how to tie umbilical cord and so on. It was outrageously overwhelming.

Luckily, I had four hundred acres of wheat to harvest and another two hundred and fifty I was prepping for mung beans. So I kept myself quite busy.

One afternoon in early November I was cutting out the last paddock and my phone rung. "Come home, spunky. Bub's coming."

That old cruiser hit warp speed on the way, but I was still too late to get the pool inflated like the midwife instructed when I called her as I drove. I found Hana sitting on the sandy beach; naked as the day she was born, up to her shoulders in the creek water.

It took only an hour from start to finish. Ebony and Tan arrived about halfway through when I was sure I was going to lose my mind with worry. Kat was picking the boys up from the bus and by the time she arrived with the midwife in tow, Hana was breast feeding a wrinkled looking little bundle of girl while I tied the cord and used a towel to wash my brand-new daughter.

I have a better understanding of the phrase 'tu meke' after the events of that day.

Hana and I are hanging washing out and watching that same little girl serve water from a teacup to whomever she's imagined today. Hana leaves tomorrow for a two-day visit to site four so we're making the most of our time to hang out together doing simple things.

"I wonder who it is today?" Hana smiles.

"It was Cleo someone last week."

Regardless, it was nice to see little Mi-mi relaxed again after the meltdown she had this morning when her cousin Nicky left for his first day of prep. Nicky is a gender-neutral name, you know? Kat and her boyfriend suggested it one afternoon as we unloaded Jo-jo's pony off his father's float.

"Join me for a cup of tea?"

"Sure." I peg the undies out and take Hana's hand to walk down the lawn with her.

"Mi-mi, can Daddy and I have a cup of tea?"

"Just one, I'm kind of busy talking."

"Oh? Who are you talking with today, bub?" I ask.

"Luluette. She says Mummy's having another baby. Another little girl so I can have a sister."

"Lulu?" Hana raises an eyebrow.

"Yes, she's very pretty. She's teaching me about flowers."

It makes me smile. Mi-mi has heard all my stories I suppose. I've never really made a point of talking to her about Catherine and Juliette but our family talks around us without censure.

"She says her favourite is, haha. I can't say that big word." Mi-mi squints her eyes and wrinkles her nose in concentration. 'Heli-chrysum-monster-something? That's ridicaful."

"Ok, that's just freaky, bub." I mumble.

"You tell Lulu that her Daddy loves her very much." Hana kisses Mi-mi's head.

"She knows, Mumma. Her mummy is over there. She knows too." Mi-mi points over toward the wisteria arbour and the cast iron table and chair that was Catherine's favourite place for a morning cup of tea and a good book.

"Kids huh?" Hana laughs as we wander back inside for a cup of morning coffee.

I was sitting at the big dining table reading reports from Ricky when I heard Hana's cranky voice call out. I found her sitting on the toilet with her undies around her ankles, staring at two pink lines on a pregnancy test kit. There were two others in the sink, equally lined.

"I'm almost forty, David. I can't... I'm on the pill. This... Oh god."

"You're thirty-five."

"I have a new site to set up and Glenda wants-"

"I gotcha."

"You always do."

/`<><