Virgin Freshman from the Farm

I grew up on my parents' Midwestern dairy farm. I have one sister who is six years older than I am, so she was long gone before I came of age. Dairy farming is a tough business, especially with a large herd. My mom and dad managed one hundred and seventy-five milking cows, and it's an every day responsibility. They had hired hands while we were growing up, but that cuts into the already slim profit margins, so when I was in eighth grade, they made it clear that they expected me to help out. I was a small, skinny kid at that point, and didn't contribute that much at first. But as I matured, I was able to pull my own weight, and eventually they were able to downsize the hired staff.

The work was hard, but I enjoyed it. The major downside was that I had to be up early to do morning chores before school, and go straight home from school every day to do more work. It was especially trying during the dark winter months. In retrospect, I missed out on a lot of the typical high school experience because of that. I couldn't do sports or other extracurricular activities. As a result, I was pretty introverted and didn't have a big circle of friends. I never dated anyone, so I was pretty sexually naïve beyond what I saw on the internet. And being in a rural area, internet speeds were maddeningly slow. Streaming porn was basically a waste of time because of all the service interruptions. Mainly I read "dirty" stories on a variety of sites, and masturbated myself to orgasm. Of course, I knew about the birds and the bees. Living on a farm, animal breeding is just a thing that happens and my parents explained it all. They took a very clinical approach about it though, and didn't really delve into the human sexuality aspect of things.

The friends I DID have were all serious about school. So was I. I wanted to get into a good college or university and pursue something other than dairy farming. My parents understood, and didn't press me on it. They were witness to the regular demise of family farms in our county, and were planning to sell the farm at some point and retire anyway. So my routine was basically cows, school, cows, eat, homework, sleep. By the time I turned eighteen and was a senior in high school, my body had developed. I'm six foot two, and back then I was a pretty lean one hundred and eight-five pounds. I was in really good shape because of all the physical farm labor.

The summer before my senior year, my parents came home from dinner with friends on a neighboring farm, and asked to have a talk. The discussions at dinner were apparently centered on the fact that I was not being allowed to have the normal high school experience. It had never really occurred to them, I guess. My sister hadn't taken to farm work the same way I did, and being the first kid, she had been able to negotiate more time away from daily chores. They profusely apologized and insisted that I take more time this last school year for extracurriculars. I told them it was no big deal, and that I liked the farm, but they stood their ground. They said they'd get some more part-time help for just this year. They pointed out that realistically, they'd be doing that in the next ten months when I went away to school anyway, so they might as well figure it out now.

I protested occasionally the next couple of weeks, but by mid-August, when the school year was on the horizon, I actually started to look forward to some more free time and so the issue was settled. Now the only problem was what was I going to do to? It wasn't until my eighteenth birthday just before Labor Day that I had any idea what I might try. That weekend, I had a few of my close circle of friends over to swim in the pond on our property and grill out over a campfire. I told them how my parents were letting me loose from farm responsibilities, and asked them what sort of stuff I should pursue. After a lot of good-natured ribbing mixed with serious discussion, I concluded joining the cross-country team was something that interested me. I was as physically fit as anyone I knew, and had always enjoyed running. Several of the guys had been on the team since our freshman year. They had good things to say about the coach and the camaraderie of the group. So it was settled.

The team had already started captain-led practices at that point, so I had to go ask the coach for permission to come on the team as a late joiner. My friends vouched for me and I think the coach could see I was in shape, so he gave me a copy of the practice and meet schedule and the team rules, directed me to get our family doctor to sign an athletics health approval, and told me to be at practice after the first day of the fall semester. I did all that, and went to the mall in town to pick up some good running shoes and practice gear.

I showed up for the first day of practice, feeling a little guilty that I hadn't gotten straight on the bus after school to get home for chores. Hanging with the other guys on the team though, stretching before we started running, joking around, reliving the first day of school... I realized I hadn't known what I had been missing. We broke down who had what teachers, the opening weekend NFL games, which girls had "blossomed" over the summer. General guy stuff. I silently thanked my parents for seeing their way to letting me have the opportunity.

Regardless, I couldn't rid myself of the guilt of not helping on the farm. To try to make amends, that first week I skipped showering and left as soon as practice was over to get home. It was a futile effort, mostly because by the time I got home it was time for dinner, and my mom made me shower before we ate. And I had homework from several AP classes I had to get to after the meal. I wasn't helping out at all. It eased my mind that the new hired hand got rave reviews from my dad. He was already of the opinion that the guy would be a great long-term employee. So after five days of trying to clear my conscience, I threw in the towel and decided it would be better to just concentrate on school and cross country.

That next Monday, I made the switch. I stuck around with the rest of the team in the locker room after practice. There was a great vibe and I felt great being accepted as a member of a team for the first time since probably youth soccer in sixth grade. I realized I hadn't even really been in a locker room since middle school gym class when most boys were still waiting for that first wisp of facial hair. Gym was an elective class at our high school, and I avoided it to load up on academic subjects. I mean, it's not like I wasn't getting any exercise at home.

After a while, the joking died down and guys started to strip off their practice gear and head to the showers. I did the same and grabbed a shower just inside the shower room door. I faced the wall with my head directly under the shower and let the water just wash over me. Then I turned around and let the water run down my back. I'll never forget the next couple of minutes as long as I live.

"Oh my god Kyle," one of the guys exclaimed. "That's a serious tool!"

I looked around at the rest of the team and saw that every one of them was staring at my crotch. Some of their mouths hung open in what? Disbelief? Awe? Disgust? Envy? Looking back, I've never really been able to decide.

I took a quick survey of everyone else's "equipment", and immediately understood that, to my surprise and dismay, I was different. My penis was larger than any of those in the shower room. Quite a bit larger. I didn't know then, but I do now, that my penis is just a little less than ten inches long when erect. The diameter is a bit over two inches. Flaccid, none of my teammates' organs were even two thirds the size of mine. For whatever reason, ignorance I suppose, I was horrified. It didn't help that everyone else was looking at me and nervously laughing. Embarrassed, I turned and fled the shower, hurriedly threw on my clothes, and bolted for home.

I never went back to cross country practice. A couple of the guys tried to talk me into it, but I felt too ashamed. Stupid, I know, but like I said, I was naive. I made up an excuse for the coach that my family needed me back for work on the farm, and I told my family I was having trouble keeping up with classes and had to drop cross country. I promised them I was staying at school with study groups, so that they would think I was still getting some social experience. There was some truth to that, but most of the time, I studied by myself. The reality was that any number of times I would look up and catch groups of girls whispering and giggling while looking my way, or the laughter at a table of my friends would dry up as I approached. I knew that word was out about my abnormally large genitalia. Prior to my "unveiling", I had allowed myself to start to think about getting to know some of the girls in my class better and maybe even dating, but if I wasn't introverted before, I sure was now. Needless to say, when I left for college at the end of the next summer, I was still a virgin.

I was thrilled to be accepted to the flagship university in our state, and was eager to turn the page on my high school years. My parents helped me pack up my things and drove me the three hours to college. With a firm handshake from my dad, and a tearful hug from my mom, I was suddenly alone in my dorm room. The dorm was coed, with girls' rooms grouped around a women's bathroom in kind of a pod, alternating with boys' rooms arranged the same way. There was a ton of commotion as more kids got dropped off by their parents just like I had. I said some awkward hellos as people went past, and busied myself with unpacking. It wasn't long before my roommate arrived. I had chosen to be randomly assigned, and Justin was from Chicago. We had emailed and talked a couple of times to kind of split up what to bring, and he seemed like a pretty normal guy.

That first week at school is kind of a blur. I had to get used to classes in a multitude of buildings, figure out where and when I was going to study, try to get to know my roommate and others on our floor... typical college orientation stuff. I tried to challenge myself to venture out of my comfort zone and be more socially involved. College was a blank slate after high school, and I wanted to make the most of it.

At the end of the first week, I felt like I was beginning to settle in. Justin and I were really hitting it off. I got the sense he was kind of a class clown, but he seemed to sincerely want to get to know me. He had his eyes trained closely on the women on our floor. He told me his high school girlfriend had dumped him over the summer and he was "taking applications for her replacement". I had to laugh at that. I had homework under control, and knew my daily routine. I even figured out when I could get some workouts in at the rec center. It felt good to lift and swim or run. I didn't want my fitness to suffer after years of being in good shape.

On Thursday, I came back to the dorm after a long run, in dire need of a shower. I grabbed my bath kit and a towel, and headed to the bathroom in shorts and flip flops. When I was done, I went back to our room where Justin was watching sports news on his tablet. I had almost started to strip down when I realized that to change clothes, I would either have to awkwardly try to hide myself, or that he was going to see my privates. I stood there in a brief moment of panic and uncertainty, and then decided I couldn't go through the entire school year this way. I mean, we were going to be living together in a twelve by fourteen foot room. There wasn't going to be a whole lot of privacy. I steeled myself, took a deep breath, and tried to nonchalantly drop my shorts while at the same time digging in my drawer for a new pair of boxers.

At exactly that moment, Justin looked up and asked, "So how are we going to survive as roommates when we are fans of different NFL..." His voice trailed off, and I saw that his eyes had gone wide, and he was staring at my groin.

"Wow man. Sorry. Um. Just. Shit. Sorry!" he mumbled. "I'll bet you're a hit with ladies, am I right?" he said, trying to cover his nervousness with a fake laugh.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I wish. I've never really dated. Too much to do on the farm. So no real free time."

"Well. It's a target-rich environment here. I think you will make some girl very happy."

"Really? More likely to scare them off I think."

"Are you kidding? Dude, assets of that size get a healthy return on investment. Or so I've been told," he said with a silly smile. "Can you tell I'm pre-Business?"

I chuckled quietly as I quickly pulled my boxers on. "Hey, don't tell anyone about my, you know, stuff, okay? Kids in high school made fun of me, and I'd rather not repeat that experience."

"Kyle, your secret is safe with me. Trust me. But seriously man, it IS an asset. I'll freely admit, I'm jealous."

Truth be told, that admission stunned me. For almost a year, I had considered myself to be an oddity. Now a guy my age was jealous of the size of my penis? Still, I couldn't quite accept the fact that maybe I wasn't a freak.

When Friday came, our RA announced several social activities for the weekend that were designed to be icebreakers. Trying to get as many people on the dorm floor to know as many of their dorm mates as possible. One that caught my eye that seemed to be low risk was a movie screening on Saturday night, in the common room at the end of the hall. The common room was set up with a nice big screen TV with surround sound, some really comfortable chairs and couches and a small kitchenette where you could prepare popcorn and snacks. They were going to show Shakespeare in Love, which I had never heard of. I figured it was some sort of historical non-fiction, but Justin told me it was more of a comedic drama with a super cast.

"It's a great choice because girls like it too. It should be a good event. Besides, I wouldn't mind getting to know some of the women on the floor. They've been kind of traveling in packs this week. I'd like to talk to some of them one on one." He was obviously all in, so I decided to go as well.

Saturday night came and Justin wanted to get to the common room early. "We want to get good seats, and also have a chance to socialize. All that I'm going to get is shushed if I try to talk to a girl during the movie." I agreed that was logical, so we made our way down the hall a half hour before the movie was supposed to start.

Entering the common room, I saw that Justin had been right. There were a handful of guys there, but the group was about seventy percent women. There were a number of small groups standing and talking, primarily sorted by gender.

"Let's get a couple of sodas and get in there," Justin said. The RA had several ice buckets with sodas and mineral water on the counter. We each dug through and made a selection, and then Justin put his hand in the middle of my back and pushed me toward a group of three girls that were standing by the window. "C'mon Kyle," he urged. "Time to meet some ladies!"

Reluctantly, I walked with him up to the girls. Justin had met one of them before, but I had not met any of them, so there were introductions all around. Justin was a natural extrovert, and completely at ease. He asked all sorts of questions that drove the conversation. What high school did you go to? Have you decided on a major? Who is roommates with who? That kind of stuff. I stood there mostly silent, or answered questions in the least amount of words possible. I'm sure I didn't make a sparkling first impression with any of them.

One of the girls though, Cassandra ("I go by Cassie"), really caught my eye. She was cute in a pixie sort of way. She couldn't have been more than five foot two or three, with light brown hair that curled in ringlets down to her shoulders. She had a little button nose, and dimples when she smiled. What really struck me though, were her green eyes. Mesmerizing is the only word I can think of to describe them. Or intense maybe. She had a mischievous grin, a great laugh, and a kind, easy air about her. My mind was racing to try to come up with a good question for her, but my thoughts were interrupted by the RA announcing that he was going to start the movie.

Everyone moved to sit down. Most of the couches were claimed by three or four girls. Justin managed to finagle a spot on a couch with two of the girls we had been talking to. There were two armchairs next to that couch. Cassie plopped down in the one closest to Justin and her friends, and I quickly got myself seated in the next armchair over.

"Hey Kyle, why don't you make a popcorn run for everyone?" Justin asked with a grin. There was no way he was going to risk losing his place on the couch, and I couldn't really blame him.

"Sure. Okay," I kind of stammered. "Everyone want some?" All the girls nodded, so I went to the kitchenette and filled five small bags of popcorn from a big bowl on the counter, and then hurried back to deliver them before someone stole my seat. When I handed a bag to Cassie, she smiled up at me with those dimples and green eyes.

"Thanks Kyle," she said. Her fingers made contact with mine as she took the bag. I almost melted on the spot. All I could do was nod and then sit down. I was relieved as the lights dimmed, allowing me to get my wits about me in the darkness.

The movie really was pretty good. Initially just pretty comical, but about a third of the way through, the love story sub-plot was introduced. There is a bedroom scene where Gwyneth Paltrow's character loses her virginity to Shakespeare. It's not hard core or anything, but her breasts are displayed and her nipples are quite erect.

I hadn't masturbated for a couple of weeks, primarily because I had been busy packing at home. Then, when I got to the dorm, there just hadn't been an opportunity with Justin around. So my hormones were up. Watching the sex on screen, I was getting pretty aroused, and my penis was soon "up" too. Bound by my underwear and my shorts, it was starting to get uncomfortable. Without really thinking, I reached down to adjust my pants to give my swelling penis some space. I heard a little giggle from Cassie's direction and looked over to her with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Sure enough, she was watching my hands on my crotch with one eyebrow raised and a wry smile on her face.

I was mortified. I turned away from her and looked straight ahead. I quickly put both hands on the arms of the chair and gripped them until my fingernails were white. I'm sure I was blushing a deep shade of red. What an idiot. How could I forget there were other people in the room? I couldn't stay there next to her. I was too embarrassed. I stood quickly and hurried quietly out of the common room, and left the dorm to clear my head.

I managed to avoid Cassie for several days. It was inevitable that I would bump into her, since we lived on the same floor, but I wanted as much time to pass as possible before that happened. Turns out, she had other ideas. She cornered me Wednesday night. I was sitting alone in the dorm cafeteria and out of nowhere she sat down in the chair across from me and dropped her back pack on the floor.

"You're a hard guy to find," she said. "I kinda think you might be avoiding me."

"Um. No, not really," I mumbled as I tried to avoid her gaze.

"Not really? So that's a yes." She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Look, Kyle. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable somehow Saturday night. I shouldn't have laughed. I'm sure Gwyneth would be flattered."

"Can we not talk about this, please?" I said, forcing myself to make eye contact. I could feel myself starting to blush.

"It's natural you know, nothing to be ashamed of. And it's not like it's the first time I've seen a guy get hard," she said.